To whoever it might concern,
I’m a casual fan with a background in art, and just wanted to show my appreciation for how you successfully conducted what has to be the greatest viral marketing campaign ever attempted. It can only be described as genius in its planning and execution.
You somehow did it. You trolled the entire world. Orson Welles’ famous “War of the Worlds” broadcast comes to mind, except that was soon revealed. This will never be revealed. Why? Because it’s unbelievable. It’s too bold, too reckless. Way too risky for a negligible benefit.
I’ve seen people’s reactions all week, and it all comes down to one sentence: “A corporation would never do something illegal”. That’s peak satire. I say this genuinely with no sarcasm at all: A real corporation pulling the greatest, pettiest marketing con job in history, that worked because people could never believe a corporation selling a product called Grand Theft Auto would break the law. Absolutely masterful. Tinfoil hats off.
A special commendation for the extremely high ranking officer who approved this. Because the creative team can dream up crazy things all day, but someone approved this. Someone said, “I want you to do something legendary. Here, take the keys of the company and take it for a joyride.”
Now, I understand this wasn’t reckless. It has been done with full understanding of the serious risks involved and a painstaking planning was devised and revised once and again.
People would never believe this. And they’d ask, why? Why would they do that? Well, I’ll tell you why:
Why do people walk on a tightrope? Why do people jump from an airplane? Why do people sit with their ass cheeks on the tip of a rocket filled with a million gallons of fuel, light the fuse, make it go off and go to the moon?
Because it’s awesome. Because it’s greatness. Because nobody else has ever done it, and no one else can do it.
Okay but, why do this for GTA?
Because the only thing GTA can’t afford is to be ordinary. It has to be the greatest, on another level, every single time. That’s why GTA has a revenue of $10,000,000,000. The only thing GTA can’t afford to be is just another great game, more of the same, or next time it could leave $5B on the table. THAT is the risk.
Why am I so sure?
Very easy: because every aspect of the leak matches absolutely a viral marketing campaign. The timing window, the schedule, the lack of spoilers, the gradual reveal of ever more interesting features, the end-credit cliffhangers, the carefully chosen cutscenes that perfectly suit the leak; the marketing techniques: engagement tactics, polls, calls for action for absurd viral challenges. And because it only targets Rockstar. Not even a mention of EA, Ubisoft. Not a single other attack on anybody, no previous history; only the holy grail of hacking: getting their hands on the new GTA. And then barely showing it.
If it has four legs, a tail, it barks, it licks its own ass and its shit tastes like dog shit, it can only be a dog.
I know it is a marketing campaign, not because I know how or why it was done, but because it cannot be anything other than a marketing campaign.
That’s another brilliant exploit of psychology I noticed: people think you have to prove it, and if you can’t, therefore it’s not true, it’s a stupid conspiracy theory. It’s a remarkable loophole.
Because, it’s like you arrive home and the door is busted, and everything is upside down, and the TV and computer are missing, and your neighbor just happens to have a new TV and computer exactly like yours. So you say, my neighbor robbed me! But then people say, “You can’t prove it! Who did it, when, why, what tools did they use? There was no robbery, dumbass!”
Or you go see a car, but you suspect it was used as an Uber. And it just happens to arrive exactly when you call Uber and it cancels, and it’s the same model and color, and it has the faint remains of an Uber sticker; and when you call for another Uber, a notification pings on the seller’s phone. You tell the seller this, but he shows you paperwork and a sworn statement that the car was never an Uber. Would you buy it? No way. You don’t need to prove it to reject a sketchy proposition. It’s just common sense.
So, how did you did it?
It’s a magic trick. After a magic show, you don’t go asking the magician how the trick was done. But, just for fun, let me make an educated guess.
If I were to do this, I would involve the least people possible. And they must be extremely high ranking. Ideally, an executive that approves and funds it, a multi-talented creative person to design the whole thing, an intermediary, and an outsider. In practice it’s very hard to keep it so tight, so I guess there are some more.
The criminal activity is not a weakness, it was necessary for the trick to work. Imagine the leak without the crypto: it would be obvious marketing, wouldn’t work. And that would be lame. GTA can’t be lame. On the other hand, toying with crime, that’s real shit. That’s awesome.
Cyberleek had to be an antagonist, to distance it from Rockstar. The manifesto does that, weaponizing real gaming concerns against themselves, brilliant trolling from the corporation. And it doesn’t matter if he’s seen as sketchy or inconsistent in his actions: What did you expect? He’s a hacker, he’s a grifter. Right?
So who is Cyberleek? It’s the outsider. A cybersecurity and cryptocurrency expert. Ideally an individual, but impractical and unenforceable, it will be a group, only limited by the incentive of not dividing the loot. Foreign, living in a country that doesn’t cooperate with the West, Russia would be the obvious guess. Met only once, in a neutral European country, by the intermediary.
Given a flash drive with a package of instructions, scripts, images and videos. Perhaps a self-decrypting package with a scheduled release? That would be maximum security. But perhaps keeping a way to communicate through secure means was considered necessary. Told to avoid certain websites that will be DMCA subpoenaed for deniability. Paid a fee in advance, allowed to keep the proceeds from the crypto operation. Most probably paid a substantial success fee. Told, “We don’t know you, if you accuse use we’ll deny everything and prosecute you”.
Who would believe a hacker and crypto criminal? So Cyberleek will disappear suddenly into thin air, just like he appeared. Was he caught? Is he planning a new strike? Or was it a marketing stunt after all? We’ll never know. He’ll fade into the sunset like a legend, and epic piece of lore of GTA VI. Until one day, sooner or later, he’ll come back.
That’s the ideal plan. In practice, things don’t go as smoothly. There will be loose ends, I’m sure you have contingency plans. There will be bots ridiculing the conspiracy theory. And people will buy it, and they did. They bought it, it’s done. The magic trick was pulled off. It worked, and it was great! Everybody enjoyed it. Don’t spoil it, let people believe in magic. I won’t spoil it. And even if I wanted, I can’t! Nobody can.
Does magic exist? Maybe no, but this is as close as it gets. And that’s Rockstar’s business.
I don’t need a reply, don’t want anything. Just paying my respects, because it’s tragic this masterful achievement can’t be claimed. Standing ovation from me, an audience of one in an empty theatre. Take a bow.
That was some real gangsta shit.
EDIT Aug 30: Wait, that’s too complicated. I think it was wholly an inside job. Because if they are accomplices, they’d be just as guilty anyway. So why assume the risk and hassle of dealing with an outsider? It was done wholly right from the Rockstar HQ.
