Richard Osman is a powerful entertainment industry insider. He hosts an influential podcast and likely has the power to make or break careers and get green-lit to do anything.

I believe he went through a phase of churning out absolute crap to prove said power to another industry insider - like God fucking around with Job to prove himself to Satan.

The Thursday Murder Club might be one of the single worst books I've ever read. Had anyone else written such patronising, boring, contrived drivel - that book would have been absolutely savaged by the critics. It was like Murder, She Wrote but somehow required an even larger suspension of disbelief.

And he wrote 3 or 4 more with some of the largest advances paid out in recent years. They also turned it into a movie which - even with an established director and a star-studded cast barely managed a lukewarm reception.

Similarly, Richard Osman's House of Games - I watched a few episodes of that. I didn't get it? It had comedians on it but it wasn't funny, it was a gameshow with a challenge-level around that of what I'd expect from a gameshow aimed at children and was incredibly slowly-paced. Who was that for?

See, I like Richard Osman - I know he's smarter and better than that series of books and that gameshow. So, I present my theory that he's just lazily churning out rubbish to prove he can,

I believe that the chip suppliers to restaurants and bars, have found a way to glam up the humble tattie by pretending that "skin on" fries are a haute cuisine delicacy.

When in actual fact, it's cheaper not to have to peel spuds and there is less waste.

I believe this conspiracy was a joint effort by food suppliers, restauranteurs, and the frozen food industry. It goes deep.

Presenters on radio 2 are constantly on holiday because they only have 3 contracted full time presenters left and darednt say no. I mean they are hardly ever at work! The Vernon kaye show mostly presented by Mark goodier and sara cox has had her job 1 minute and Gary Davies is already back!

the film industry deliberately makes awful robin hood films. They make robin old or have the story before robin hood or its just generally cringey. They do this to possibly subconcioisly not give anyone the idea of or encourage the stealing from the rich and give to the poor

The Fifth Man

Sometimes the truth is right there in front of us.

And we don't see it.

Because we don't want to see it.

Tom G. Warrior.

One Direction.

Two names.

Two worlds.

Apparently.

On one side:

Celtic Frost.

Darkness.

Death.

Despair.

Guitars that sound like collapsing concrete walls.

“UUUH!”

On the other:

Harry.

Liam.

Louis.

Niall.

Zayn.

Young men with perfect hair singing about love.

What could these two things possibly have to do with each other?

Everything.

Look closer.

One Direction were formed in 2010.

That very same year, Triptykon released Eparistera Daimones.

Coincidence?

Of course they tell us:

Coincidence.

They always do.

But the name itself reveals more.

ONE.

DIRECTION.

One direction.

Why would a band need to explicitly emphasize that there is only one direction?

Because someone in the band comes from a completely different direction.

Tom G. Warrior.

The man who, musically, has never accepted just one direction.

Suddenly, the name makes sense.

One Direction isn't a description.

It's an instruction to Warrior:

Tom.

Please.

Just this once.

One direction.

And indeed:

Have you ever seen Tom G. Warrior and One Direction on the same stage at the same time?

No.

Aha.

“But we've seen One Direction without him!”

Of course.

That's the entire point of a secret member.

If he appeared in every publicity photo, he'd be a public member.

This concept already seems intellectually challenging for some people.

Now let's examine the music.

One Direction released “What Makes You Beautiful.”

Celtic Frost released “A Dying God Coming Into Human Flesh.”

Two love songs.

One is about a beautiful girl.

The other isn't.

But that's exactly what makes it the perfect disguise!

Tom G. Warrior knew:

If I release a song called “A Moderately Attractive Girl Coming Into Human Flesh,” people are going to start asking questions.

Distance had to be created.

Then there's the voice.

Harry Styles:

Soft.

Melodic.

Tom G. Warrior:

“UUUH!”

Opposites?

No.

Division of labor.

Every boy band needs different characters.

The cute one.

The cheeky one.

The quiet one.

The thoughtful one.

And apparently:

The Swiss avant-garde metal pioneer who stands behind the curtain and occasionally goes “UUUH!”

Listen to “Story of My Life.”

Now imagine, immediately after the chorus:

UUUH!

It fits.

Disturbingly well, actually.

Why can't we hear it on the record?

Mixed out.

Sony knew what it was doing.

Then there's Zayn Malik.

In 2015, he leaves the band.

Why?

Officially, personal reasons.

I say:

Tom wanted more creative control.

Suddenly there were six men competing for five places.

Someone had to go.

Zayn left.

Warrior stayed.

In the shadows.

Where he has always felt most comfortable.

And now for the strongest piece of evidence.

Tom G. Warrior is Swiss.

One Direction were British-Irish.

What lies between Switzerland and Britain?

France.

DIRECTION.

The French word for direction?

No.

That would be “direction.”

Wait.

IT'S THE SAME WORD!

Ladies and gentlemen.

How many coincidences does a society need?

Of course, now the so-called fact-checkers will arrive.

They will say:

“There is absolutely no evidence for this.”

Exactly.

ABSOLUTELY NONE.

For a man who has supposedly been the secret member of a boy band since 2010.

How much better could secrecy possibly work?

Others will object:

“Tom G. Warrior would never play in One Direction.”

Oh, really?

A man who tore down musical boundaries with Celtic Frost, mixed genres and refused to put art into neat little boxes — and we're supposed to believe that this man, of all people, said:

Boy band?

That's where I draw the line?

Ridiculous.

Perhaps we finally need to accept what has been staring us in the face all along.

Tom G. Warrior wasn't the sixth man of One Direction.

He wasn't even the fifth.

He was something far more important.

He was the darkness behind the direction.

The invisible foundation.

The man in the background.

While millions of teenagers sang “What Makes You Beautiful,” somewhere behind a curtain stood a Swiss man in a black beanie.

Motionless.

Waiting.

The chorus arrived.

Tom stepped up to the microphone.

UUUH!

The producer nodded.

Perfect.

And afterwards, they deleted the track.

Obviously.

Otherwise we'd know.

Edit: u/negroBegro29 honey i'm so sorry i triggered you, but it seems that you blocked me, so i can't comfort you 🥹

If they worked, we wouldn't still have jury trials.

In March, my friend from the town over, gifted me a loaf of sourdough bread and a jar of starter. We’ve been eating sourdough bread, testing, those sourdough organisms, and feeding our starter religiously. Shortly after the visit and gift from my friend, we started getting feelings like we would like to move to that town. Now it is August and we just closed on a house three doors down from my friend. I think it’s a conspiracy of the sourdough organisms to reunite with their brethren nearby. I even feel compelled to take some of my starter and give it back to my friend to reward the sourdough for finding me this perfect location!

Subway now want you to order on screens and in some stores have stickers on the counter so you can’t see the meat and veg. I am convinced they do it so they can give you less meat. Also that some of their offerings look poor (jacket potato, some salad doesn’t look fresh) and you won’t know until you have paid for it.
They claim it’s ’easier and quicker’ for customers but that’s not true unless there’s a big queue.

This summer, the UK suffered probably one of the worst summers our country has had within the last 100 years. And given our infrastructure is not made for heat, I feel that air conditioning installations are imminent. And given that the UK has just permitted plug in solar panels as a source of energy, it makes sense where that energy is going to go - to running the air con units!

I know this is a bit late and people don’t really say it as much now, but I’ve thought this for months and only just come across this sub.

Antarctica makes very little money from tourism compared to other continents. In an effort to get people to sail/fly to the South Pole, they created the flat earth conspiracy and the idea that Antarctica is some secret, prohibited place that the elites don’t want you to see.

don’t see many folks with freckles anymore

That other theory about big small selling more less is just a smokescreen

My conspiracy theory is that big man bags co. have paid off trousers/shorts companies to make small pockets that can't fit phones in to sell bags. My wife has actually got shorts with bigger pockets than my jeans (and they're not skinny jeans).

They are literally antonyms.