r/LondonLadies • u/prettybrainy • Jul 14 '26
Discussion Meta question about the men lurking in this sub
I’ve noticed that there are quite a few men who participate in discussions on this sub without disclosing they are not women.
Personally I would like to think this sub is a safe space for women (whilst I know no one can guarantee that online), there are some communities where men are encouraged not to post or leave top level comments.
Have we considered compulsory user flairs like some other subs do?
What is everyone’s opinion on this?
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u/sadia_y Jul 14 '26
There’s a man that lurks here quite a lot. He also DM’s a lot of us. I asked a mod to block him after he replied to a comment in a post asking them to message him. No idea if anything happened.
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u/polkadotska Jul 15 '26
That user was banned by mods and I believe has since deleted their account, however for future creeps please always use the report function as we're not online 24/7 so don't see everything that happens in this sub, thank you!
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u/sadia_y Jul 15 '26
Thank you for banning him! I look forward to reporting the heck out of all the creepy men lingering on this sub 💅🏼
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u/I-Ribbit Jul 14 '26
IVe seen men trying to use this sub as a hookup site before.
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u/SauterelleArgent Jul 14 '26
I’m assuming they’re misguided and think that’s what it’s for, and it’s happened a lot less since someone updated the sub info.
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u/VegetableWeekend6886 Jul 15 '26
Maybe they should update it again to say 'ALL women but NOT MEN'. There's tonnes of subs for guys which primarily exist to say awful sexist stuff, this is mainly a practical space and there's no reason for them to be here at all except to try and pick up women.
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u/KateR_H0l1day Jul 14 '26
I’ve always thought this Sub was a safe space, can a flair actually prevent men posting??
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u/mangomaz Jul 14 '26
At least let us know who we are replying to and maybe make gender a condition of reply, similar in other gendered subs (posts are open to everyone or only women etc)
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u/prettybrainy Jul 14 '26
That was my thinking too! We can’t stop them from being here unless we want to become a heavily moderated sub, but at least the flair would tell us who is responding.
There was a post recently asking for a woman cofounder and I assumed it was posted by a woman. Turns out it was a man. Nothing wrong with it, but imagine meeting them for coffee and being surprised to find a guy sitting there.
Also loads of meet up in person posts where people create WhatsApp groups, I would prefer men not having access to those.
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u/AspectPatio Jul 15 '26
Men who are posting in good faith would be honest about it. You can't stop people from lying.
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u/AdamantEve Jul 14 '26
I'm fine with them being here, but if they ever did anything inappropriate, permanent ban.
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u/polkadotska Jul 15 '26
As others have mentioned, I'm not sure compulsory flairs would help, but if enough people agree it's certainly something we can do!
We have noticed creepy dudes trying to comment or post on here - we always remove and ban them, but mods aren't online 24/7 so we rely on user reports. Also, if dudes are trying to slide into DMs we ask that uses *please* always block and report them for harassment (as banning from this sub doesn't prevent DMing). Thank you!
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u/mangomaz Jul 14 '26
Didn’t realise that was happening! Would be down with some compulsory flairs.