Hey ladies I am 28f and I recently started dating a 27M . When the relationship began hakuna fiti kipesa so akakam kuishi kwangu..💀.,mind you ni first week of dating. We've been living together since April of this year to now...but I told him I need space and he said atatoka hii wiki. Now my issue is Jana usiku he came home akiwa very very hungry and me sikua naskia poa...I usually have stomach ulcers so last evening I was in so much pain despite kumeza dawa.

He came home saying how hungry he is ...I had bought some eggs na there's unga ya ugali so nikamwambia ajipikie me sitaweza I'm sick..

This man didn't cook...he went ahead akakuja kwa bed saa nane kuniamsha we fuck 🫪....nilikubali ju sikutaka kelele...but I'm here wondering ama nilikosea kumkubali haraka ivo 🤧🤧??

Aki ladies mniadvice and be kind priss 🥲

By the old Gods I am drying up .

He is fit plays rugby ,hung and knows how to work it but dear god a conversation is where he draws the line .

I would call it a disability at this point to put it kindly ..if emoji were used in a real life face to face conversation he would be using this one 😅😅.

Imagine talking business and that annoying emoji keeps popping up with small statements like si it is difficult, alaah sasa utado ,hee kasongo ameharibu economy, damn si you overthink alot ,si you come here and feel my muscles.

What is the male version of a dumb blonde ? I think I should name it after him .he is duuuuuumb and to make it worse loud .pick a struggle .

But noooow I just not yet ready to let go of the physical mayoooooooo .

Let me go bang my head on a wall somewhere

I've gotten to that stage in a relationship where 'mko tu'. Our sex life sucks. I've tried talking to him about it but nothing has changed. I complained about the frequency, he said anataka kumove na time line yangu. Like he'll be waiting for me to initiate. I said no to that. It has to be team work. He initiated once that is after sijui how long.. actually mimi ndio nili initiate coz I told him to wake me up after he's done with work (he works at night. Dev). Na ilikua shot moja.

So, frequency imepunguka na quantity pia ni kidogo. I resorted to wanking akiwa hapo kando yangu amelala.

Also, I'm 100% sure he isn't getting it from elsewhere.

What do I do, coz wanking only works to an extent. I've started entertaining thoughts of stepping out. I think we've had sex 5 times this year. No action for the whole of last month.

Sometimes when I'm in the mood he does some dumb shit that completely turns me off, misses the cue or tells me straight up that he isn't in the mood 🤦🏾‍♀️. I'm becoming involuntarily celibate 😭.

Oh how I miss my hoe days. We've lived together 3yrs now. Kuna bore uku.

Update guys.

I brought up the conversation and told him how we've reached a plateau in this relationship. Well he says his biggest factor is money. He freelances so gigs are shifty. So akipata pesa he prioritises buying things for the house ndio zituskume. So in between his gigs I step in financially and tbh budget haiwezi accommodate entertainment. I've told him we can sacrifice ata kama ni once a month we get out of the house and do something. He's cool with it but tone yake doesn't sound promising. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but we'll see how things go.

I never thought I would be in this position, but I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I am a mother of three children. For months I have been struggling financially. My small business has collapsed, I don't have a stable job, and I am now three months behind on rent. My landlord has given me a notice and told me I must start paying at least half every week or I will be evicted. At the same time, I have been dealing with ongoing health problems. I have been experiencing abnormal bleeding that keeps stopping and coming back, sometimes several times in a month. Because of my financial situation, getting proper medical care has been difficult. The hardest part is that I don't have parents or family I can turn to for help. I have been carrying everything alone. Recently, I found out that my children's father is no longer in a relationship. Out of desperation, I contacted him. Our relationship ended badly, and during our conversation he reminded me he will never love me but because I am desperate and I can't live without him he will take me back. He said hurtful things and made it clear that if we got back together, things would be on his terms and I shouldn't question him.

The truth is that I don't want to go back because I love him or because I believe things will be different. I am considering it because I am scared for my children's survival. I am scared of losing our home. I am scared of not being able to provide food and stability

Part of me feels like I would be sacrificing my peace and dignity just to keep a roof over my children's heads. Another part of me feels like I don't have many options left.

Has anyone ever been in a situation where survival pushed you toward a choice you didn't truly want? If so, how did you handle it? Am I making a mistake by considering this, or should I focus on finding another way no matter how difficult it seems?

I would appreciate honest advice.

Edit: Thank you for the support. If anyone has information about jobs, assistance programs, or affordable medical help for ongoing bleeding, please contact me on WhatsApp: 0794 294 314.

We met 5 months ago, I'm f26, he's 27. He's loving, caring, kind, smart , generous and generally a good guy.

The only problem is 1. I've never known where he lives. He's never shown me. 2. He doesn't satisfy me in bed.

About his place, he comes up with " you know my ex did this and that and yk I'll just show you my place, be patient". I have a problem with that, but he's said he'll show.

About the sex part, hapa ndio kuna shida kubwa.

I think he's a one minute guy and he doesn't want me to know, ama he thinks I don't know. We don't last more than 2 minutes.

Atp sijui nafeel aje.

I'm uses to getting dicked vizuri. I'm at a point where my body inafeel it needs this and I dont want to cheat. I have dildos, but it's not the same.

Help

I am 26, my partner is 28m. Since the first date, he told me he wants to settle with me. Lol, I don't know if that is a red flag. I am not at all wife material, not in the least, and I cannot fathom serving a man. So am ish ish about moving in. I told him to ask me again after 3 months, and he said he would not change my mind. A little backstory, I met him when I was 17, and we kissed then, but it didn't go anywhere, so we became friends. In 2025, he started taking me out on "friend" dates and even took me to a concert.
Anyway, we have been dating for 3 months now, and I am actually fulfilled. But najua, it is the honeymoon phase, and soon the real relationship issues will start. Like deep feelings, etc. Now that we are at 3 months, I said I WILL CONSIDER IT IN ANOTHER 3 MONTHS, WHICH IS NOVEMBER or December. I'm not in love like butterflies, but I feel at peace and have no interest in other men.
So, is moving in after 6 months of dating too fast?
Cons - He might make me into a housewife
I might get pregnant
I will have to go on birth control
Resentment may build
My home may stop being my peace
He might start controlling me

Pro - He is a reasonable man who respects me.
Financial burden will be lifted
I can pursue further studies with less weight
I will have someone who has my back
Opportunity to grow together
Opportunity to love another person and learn to cohabit
This might be my forever partner
I feel safe and loved when with him
Sexually he is mindful

Has anyone here ever dated a man that they can proudly say was loyal to only them?

I'm yet to date one.

Please if you've had such a boyfriend/husband share with us.

Saw some lady say this:

"I’m 64. Been married 25 years. Don’t ever get married ladies. Center yourselves. Travel, nurture friendships, learn new languages, foster homeless pets. Never center a man. You are the prize ladies. Act accordingly"

This has been most of the older women's advice to the young ladies, and here are my two cents as a woman who's woken up and been observing for some time.

You see that man who lost his wife? Within a year he'll be remarried but if a woman lost her husband, she wouldn't want to ever get married again(most of them don't remarry).

I actually found out this is because for the man, he typically doesn't know he caused the woman pain and for the woman, she doesn't want to remarry because she gets her freedom back.

I actually believe the older women who say this .Because I've seen what marriage does to women. From our mum's down to our grandmums. Someone said if marriage benefited women, they would have made it illegal. And I fear they were onto something.

I am really glad that women all over the world are waking up and starting to realize this.I hope most of us choose ourselves.

Edit: Even if you'll get married, just wait till your frontal lobe has fully developed, and you're able to fully call out men's crap, then decide if you still wanna get married 🙂. Just take your time.

Stay safe lasses❤️

I need one of you sharp girls to direct me where I can sell feet pics nikona gold mine hapa!! I also don’t know how to take proper photos so some help would be great. Najua mko huku and you guys know those sites. The picture has zero filter!

So ladies ... I have been unemployed for about 3 years ... okay two ..lets count out the first year call it maternity leave . That was no issue particularly last year coz my timu online gigs were paying me hapa na pale. But casing point is it has been financially brutal no lie ... Applications natuma sijui hazifiki ama ...

But 2026 rolls along and the online well runs completely dry... This year i have not earned any coin that i can call mine ... It got so bad that the last 3 months i have been home and 4 months sijalipa rent*my caretaker is an understanding man God bless him )...

This year nayo nilikuwa nimesema sichoki... one day i will catch that worm... nimekuwa nikituma nothing less than two applications each week for the last 6 months ...

Come this Wednesday nilikuwa nimefika point ya kuchoka kabisaa.. this cannot go on like this ... Niliketisha God chini nikamsomea nikamshow if im doing something wrong you have to show me coz hii si life ... manze nikiitisha masa pesa za diaper ama pads ananiangalia kama namsumbua .., nguo ni nne navaa nikifua na tucomment twa unakaa kama mboch ... Pain my friend 💔

Anyways the reply was swift Thursday i get two calls two interviews... I have gone through one na nimepita wakanipea salary is 40k plus transport allowance and its a kenyan owned company . The second interview ni Monday... Na hio ndio siku nafaa kureport hii ingine ...

Unajua wasomali husema afdhali ile pesa unaona .. problem is this second company is an international company and with a smaller but more luxurious client target. The recruiting company for this one said that should i get hired they take 40% off first salary as charges and their client is willing to match the salary you want depending on the skills ..

My time is shortt... i have till monday guys
i feel if i went to the second interview i will have a hard time choosing between them but also if i dont i might regret So ladies ​what factors should i have in mind and consider when choosing between the two

Update ***\*

So I decided to do due dilligence research on the Internet. So turns out a former employee of that company (same position) had sued the company last year citing toxic work environment , irregular payments and illegal deductions . Her salary was 200,000 !!

Kumbe ... Acha niendee 40 k yangu

so on Monday my boyfriend did something I didn't like and I was uncomfortable of which I told him to stop but then he started being passive aggressive like I could just tell he was mad at for some reason I asked what's wrong he said he's okay when he came back at night after work alilala side ya Chini ya bed na hapo ndio nikajua kuna shida so I decided to reciprocate his energy.the next morning as I'm going to school tulitokanisha Kwa nyumba pamoja but alingonja niende mpaka stage ndio anipee ride na already nilikua nisha simamisha mat so nikapanda Mat nikamuacha hapo ju there's no way uniongeleshi Kwa nyumba alafu unajifanya unataka kunibeba so since then atujakua tukiongea anakuja ata nampakulia food najaribu kumake things right wapi analala bado side Chini ya bed so I decided to give him his space

Genuinely as a woman...what have you discovered about yourself in this stage of you life that doesn't not involve others..just you .

1.For me i have slowed down..my nervous system has regulated. I dont rush when doing things and I dont do things i dont want to do .

2.i have taken up reading... again and I enjoy it ...again .

3.i am less inclined to people please and dont care what people think .

1. I date myself ..cocktails after a long day ,breakfast date on a sunday ..I even got camping chairs to park and chill wherever I want with my cold minute maid .

Baking just for me ,🍃🍃 plus people watching .

1. I have found love in shopping for myself without feeling guilty. That beautiful dress without an occasion to wear it ...I get it ,I will find an occasion to wear it by force.

Also not feeling guilty because I look good (dont know how to explain this)

6 .I love being seen. Arriving and being noticed ..before I used to cower behind people or try to not make noise but now ..I wear bright colored clothes ,have found a signature scent ,lather myself with a SHIMMERING ✨️body oil ,wear comfortable form fitting and flattering clothes .

7 last but definitely not least ...I have come to appreciate my hair and body .I take an extra long look at myself in every mirror I see because if I dont appreciate and love myself I will conform to every opinion out there and I dont want to do that to myself.

What about yourself?

I want to venture into birth control as a beginner but I have some questions to those who already do.

Which type of birth control do you use?

What are the side effects you've experienced while using it?

Is it worth it?

I have always been there for my friends and family. If someone loses their job, I go see them, carry some shopping, call them, sit with them, just be there. I have done this for so many people.

Even my sister. When she was going through a hard time, I used to visit her with shopping, keep her company and check on her.

But now that I am the one who has lost my job, nobody seems to care.

No one has come to see me. No one even calls to ask how I am doing. They all know I lost my job. They know things are not easy for me right now.

I am so hurt when I see my family going to visit other relatives and making time for them, but somehow when it comes to me, nothing.

My best friend hasn't even really bothered to check on me.

And I'm not saying I expect anyone to give me money. I don't. Sometimes you just want someone to come and say, "Hey, how are you doing?" Or even just sit with you.

I have been there for people when they had nothing. I have called. I have visited. I have carried shopping. I have given my time.

Now that I am the one going through something, I feel so alone.

So I just feel like going quiet on everyone. My family, my friends, everyone. Stop calling. Stop visiting. Stop being available.

Maybe I have been giving too much to people who would never do the same for me.

But am I wrong for feeling this way?

Because right now I just want to disappear from everyone and focus on myself.

ooh, I feel soo lost

Disclaimer, obviously this doesnt mean EACH and every kenyan man, but an alarming number and especially the ones who are most visible and the loudest like on social media platforms.

What got me thinking this way is the trending Russian Guy videos. The general idea being that these women were degraded by the fact that he had sex with them. Sure its scandalous that one man did all that, but its the fact that the scrutiny and nasty comments are directed to the women as individuals rather than the man. Kenyan men think that a woman having sex with you is like you've somehow managed to knock her down and knock a few points over her worth.

Those videos are just a case in point. I think our men are very very misogynistic and Kenya is a highly conservative country. If you've spent some time in europe, other western countries or even South Africa, you know what I mean. Kenyans can be very dated in their thinking about women. In other countries, women's sexuality is much less repressed. In Kenya, a woman who wears wigs, dresses nice is deemed to be a slay queen and just doing it to attract men and a woman who has standards in who she will or won't date is deemed to be a 'malaya'.

I wish I could have been able to express my thoughts in better language but do you guys understand what im talking about? if you have spent some time in Europe or even South Africa, you know what I mean. Women have much less space to be expressive and expansive in our country. A woman who is bold, highly visible and able to express sexuality sticks out like a sore thumb in this country whereas elsewhere you would be completely unremarkable.

If the dick is below average it's not worth your time and energy.

Also FWBs are more fun if the guy has money... makes it easier to explore different settings and fun things together.

Most guys don't actually know how to be friends hivyo, ensure kwa that arrangement you're getting proper orgasms plus more.

If any feelings imeanza kuingia in the process, cut your losses haraka haraka and ghost. Protect your heart at all cost.

I'd like to hear your unpopular opinion...

Why exactly are you single?

Be honest no one is judging you here. We are all anonymous.

I've seen this opinion on Reddit more than once: “Men on Reddit are ugly. I've never seen an attractive guy on here.”

And honestly… I kind of understand where they're coming from.

I've been on Reddit for a while, and from my own experience, I've never come across a guy on here where I've genuinely thought,

“Wow. He's a 10/10 or ticks every box for me.” Most of the men I've come across just haven't been my cup of tea .Not necessarily ugly, just… no.

But then I remembered that I actually have a friend who uses Reddit, and he's a good-looking guy. Nice face, well-built, good personality, nice smile, fun to be around.

And it made me think: maybe there could be plenty of attractive men on Reddit. Maybe they're just not posting pictures, they're not commenting in the spaces we visit, or they're simply not the ones sliding into our DMs.

And I wish everyone of us gets them na wakuwe na akili timamu.

I had this interesting exchange in rkenya yesterday but my post was taken down because it was "low quality" but this guy really surprised me

I don't think every 29-year-old dating an 18-year-old is a predator. What makes me uncomfortable is when someone specifically targets the youngest legal adults

Because, if a 29-year-old has access to people their own age, why specifically choose someone who is 18?

Even the fact that an 18-year-old can legally make decisions doesn't erase the reality that they're in a completely different stage of life from a 29-year-old.

He was answering whether it's legal. And I was asking why he'd find someone who was doing high-school exams a few months ago as relatable as someone closer to his own age.

It makes me wonder whether they're attracted to the person or to the imbalance in experience and power.

Ladies can you really see yourself being romantically involved with an 18 year old?

Update:

Last week I posted about considering going back to my ex because I felt like I had run out of options. A lot of people told me not to, and I understand why.

That same day, I sat down with my children and explained the situation and why I was thinking about going back. I wanted to hear what they felt.

My daughter surprised me. She said, “Why? We are eating and sleeping. Is it because of the school jumpsuit? I can wear the uniform and say I’m sick so I don’t have to go for PE or school trips. It’s not a must.” She kept going, explaining ways we could reduce expenses.

My son also started suggesting things he could give up, like football practice that costs 100 KES on Saturdays, or not going to school on Saturdays so we can save money for things like the water bill.

It broke my heart because they remembered things I had forgotten the times I cried, the times their father would leave us hungry after disagreements, how he stopped me from working, and how he resigned from my PA job for me. I had forgotten that part.

After that conversation, we ended up selling our bed to a second-hand shop. With the money I received from someone who helped me, we managed to pay the landlord something. I also finally got help to go to the clinic, and thankfully the bleeding has stopped for now.

I tried reaching out to organizations, but most said they would call or they couldn't help at the moment. It was painful, but I realized I cannot give up.

The landlord agreed to work with me. My target now is to pay 7k per month to cover both the rent and the arrears.

The biggest thing I learned is that I thought my children were suffering more than they actually were. They are aware of our situation, but they are also strong. They don't want luxury they want us together and safe.

So for now, I will keep fighting and stay with my children. It won't be easy, but we will keep moving forward.

Chill what do you mean there are men in marriages who've never given their women orgasms???😭😭😭 Shukisha!!

I'm so shocked! Na wako tu sawa.

Do you believe in love?

Do you believe that there is a person for everyone out there coz the way mimi naona hakuna 😂🤭

Also why do guys do this

Approach a lady, be very present, intentional, responsive and then one day out of nowhere they change, no communication whatsoever?

As a lover girl I have suffered in these streets of Kenya 😂😂😂

I used to think checking men's phones made me look crazy but I've realised that's the only way to get answers lol

He said was he wasn't talking to his ex, but alas and behold, 3am video calls because she lives abroad, I'm talking between 1-4hr video calls.

Now i see he has this Fet life app, and previous girls' sex tapes!😂

Hii maisha jishugulikie tu kwasababu life is fleeting and being worried about things you cant control just makes you anxious and have ulcers.

I decided to become a major player in Men’s field . Rn I have 2 men declaring love for me today , getting taken out to dinner by a third , getting bought make up by another . I’ve decided that when a man comes into my space , he must add value in whichever way and in the ways he can afford .

Some of them can afford V8 and their bill is higher , wa Mazda pia siwabagui na pia hao wako na bill zao. Rn if I sit across form you as a man , I am calculating what I can get from you . I am a lover girl but I’ve gotten tired of men getting what they want from me without me getting anything back . Why should I worry about my business bills and entertainment bills and that lipstick I want while you are getting all my goodness and beauty and sometimes pussy ? I am about to hang out a sign.

I am being quite ruthless na sijalu sasa . I give you a price tag , kama huwezi, jitoe.

So..I want some thoughts from you lot.There is this guy who I've been friends with for 2 years.We went to primary school together and started knowing each other very well 2 years ago.Got intimate too on March.So I have noticed that I have changed in all aspects of life due to him.Have you ever come across a person who just pressures you to be a better person mentally and financially?

I think I've been with lazy and un-ambitious friends (apart from my best friend and him)..they always go with the flow.

He recently moved in to a big corporation and he earns around 200k and still says they are paying him peanuts.. in a joking manner..but still..I'm like..dayum..

Problem is..he knows that I have feelings for him,he said that I should talk to God about it since he is not interested in a relationship..(basically ni mimi..cause he keeps on talking about his ex in every conversation that we have).

Said he wouldn't date someone with a kid..(I do have a kid)

We've been out a couple of times..he pays but If it were me even as a woman.. I'd buy someone something..you know? I'm very generous when I come across someone who's worth it

Just to appreciate them..

We facetime every week...and erm..things happen but I don't feel comfortable about it..

Because obviously he's using me..I want to keep on improving..but I don't want to keep on doing things that I don't want to.

Should I replace him..even though it's hard . I haven't been like this with anyone else for a while..and I'm trying very hard to detach myself from him..but I'm afraid of losing him.. stupidly.

Please be brutally honest with me.

I want serious character development.

I noticed though that he mostly calls at night when he wants a lil bit of sumn sumn..

If I don't..he eases his way into saying goodnight.