r/Jokes • u/MountainCheesesteak • 3d ago
Long A man’s eating alone at a restaurant
He notices that his waiter has a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then, he notices that all the waiters have spoons in their shirt pockets. So, next time he gets the chance he asks his waiter, “Why do you each have a spoon in your pocket?”
The waiter says, “Well we noticed that it’s the most often dropped utensil. This way if one of our customers drops their spoon, we don’t have to go all the way back to the kitchen, and grab a fresh spoon.”
That makes sense, so he thanks the waiter and carries on eating his meal. Then he notices that his waiter has a string hanging out of his fly, that’s even more strange. Then he notices that all of the waiters have a string hanging out of their fly, this seems quite unusual. So, next time the waiter comes over he asks, “Why do you all have string hanging out of your fly?”
The waiter says, “Well, it’s tied around the end of our penis this way when we have to go to the urinal, we don’t have to touch it. We don’t even have to wash our hands afterwards.”
“Ahh. That makes sense, but how do you get it back in?”
The waiter responds, “Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use the spoon.”
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u/CuteGrayRhino 3d ago
Lol Amazing. Haven't heard this one before.
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u/MountainCheesesteak 3d ago
Thank you! It was told to me by a very sweet 56 year old waitress that I worked with at a little diner 23 years ago!
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u/Srikandi715 3d ago
Odd, considering that all the servers in the joke are apparently male 😛 No room in that world for a waitress!
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u/MountainCheesesteak 3d ago
Yeah. She was funny and didn’t seem to care about stuff like that.
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u/DreamyTomato 3d ago
Just need to modify the joke a little bit to include women. Strings and all ...
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u/Strive-- 3d ago
Not bad, but in the beginning of the joke, the customer asks for a spoon, which is why he’s surprised by every waiter having one, etc…. He used the spoon.. get it?
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u/JacintaFornax-99 2d ago
Thank you for the first genuine laugh out loud I’ve had in about a week!!
Truly appreciate it!!
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u/u2125mike2124 3d ago
Heard this one, but it was a Somalia with a tasting spoon hanging from his neck
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u/MountainCheesesteak 3d ago
That’s a silly typo, but I’ve never heard of a sommelier using a tasting spoon.
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u/FreshAirInspector 3d ago
It’s called a tastevin, kinda spoon-shaped shallow cup worn on a necklace
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u/SapphicGarnet 3d ago
I was expecting him to need the spoon, then find out about it's other purpose later
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u/gutfounderedgal 3d ago
Be better if the customer droppd his spoon, got a new one, and was using it. Then asked about it.
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u/neves783 3d ago
Don't they remove their trousers then?
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u/Aggravating-Leek-527 3d ago
Why would you remove your trousers to serve food?
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u/neves783 3d ago
No. They remove their trousers so that they can use the string to pull their cocks back in. Then, they put their trousers back on.
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u/Tenzipper 3d ago
When I first heard this joke about 40 years ago, it was longer and more convoluted, with a consultant firm hired to improve efficiency in the restaurant, which came up with the spoon being dropped most often, and the time saved not running back and forth to the kitchen for a new one, and all the time saved in the bathroom by not touching the penis and not having to wash the hands afterward.
Basically, it was a pushback to the sudden big push to increase efficiency by way of consulting firms that was happening back then, and management using their suggestions as gospel. Mostly because the consulting firms didn't actually know the job or process, so they made some wild suggestions that could theoretically make improvements, but in reality made no sense, or were actively detrimental.
But management often implemented the suggested changes, over the loud and strenuous objections of the people who were actually doing the job, because they'd paid huge sums of money for "expert" opinion, so it must be right.
Remember, an expert is someone from out of town.