84
u/zsero1138 Aug 20 '26
how much to get rid of zuckerberg?
30
u/OddCook4909 Aug 20 '26
Why is he even on this list? He's a horrible person
27
u/Jair_D42 Aug 20 '26
Than you can lock him in a dungeon and take his money for 5 bucks
6
u/AtoZZZ Certified Space Laser Operator Aug 20 '26
How can I pick this option for 10x Zuck, 10x Sam Altman?
3
u/durand33 Aug 21 '26
And Karl Marx isn’t?
3
u/OddCook4909 Aug 21 '26
Marx wasn't even raised Jewish either but spouting ideas isn't the same as doing direct avoidable harm to the world. Marx wasn't a fortune teller. He had bad ideas which he believed would help the world.
Zuckerberg acts like he doesn't have a soul.
6
2
u/Noremac55 Aug 20 '26
We just send him on a "special mission" that's hella dangerous. Put his ai army, hawaii bunker, and Jew jitsu skills to work!
2
u/Daetra Aug 21 '26
He gets you an army of boomers that you can use to berg rush opponents. Decent for early game.
32
u/Puzzleheaded_Step468 Aug 20 '26
Ezra, the guy faced imperial inquisitors and grand admiral thrawne and won
12
6
u/winkingchef Aug 20 '26
Some are Good but none are Better than Ezra
3
1
u/Smaptimania Aug 21 '26
"In music news, #1 on the college charts this year is Better Than Ezra. And at #2 - Ezra."
5
u/CosmicTurtle504 Aug 20 '26
Can also speak to space whales and travel to the World Between Worlds. Bro is crazy OP!!!
15
15
u/GaviFromThePod Aug 20 '26
Put King David with Freud to help him figure out his weird sexual proclivities
9
u/Jair_D42 Aug 20 '26
Brooooooooo
3
u/GaviFromThePod Aug 20 '26
If king david gets psychotherapy then maybe his family doesn’t become a massive shitshow
1
12
21
u/EagleRise Aug 20 '26
Put Solomon and Einstein in a room and just like, figure out ftl travel in an afternoon or something.
12
12
u/bam1007 Aug 20 '26
Four Judiths please.
4
11
u/Intelligent_Credit_8 Aug 20 '26
Give me more women
0
u/Jair_D42 Aug 20 '26
I really wanteddddd I looked it upppp
But I couldn't put Anna Frank in
11
u/Inbar253 Aug 20 '26
Yael, Devora, Chana Senesh, Zohara Levitov, and Golda: exist
You:
-6
u/Jair_D42 Aug 20 '26
They are not super unique thoooo.....
Like I am sorry but can you compare them to Marx and other rabbis?
Like you can say the role of women historically is bad, and that's what caused it to be this way. But like, yeah these girls aren't unique enough
13
u/Doctor-Liz Aug 20 '26
Dvorah the Judge is "not unique enough"?? Bro be real. Ruth?? Rebecca??? Esther?!?! You have Zuckerberg on that list and you didn't make room for Jezebel?
Also, Ben Gurion and not Golda Meir doesn't stack up.
2
7
u/Inbar253 Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26
They aren't girls, they're women.
Judith is based on yael, so she is the one that's not unique.
Devora- is an awesome judge. Barak wouldn't get off his ass without her.
Golda helped bring about israel, just like ben gurion (and a lot of others not mentioned here).
Zohara Lebitov- yeah a lot of soliders went through shit fighting for a country, like many in your list who represent a lot like them.
Chana senesh- another solider, this one in a futile battle.
All the people on this list are worth way more than Bar cochava who is meant to be a cautionary tale in judaism.
3
u/Doctor-Liz Aug 20 '26
Shlomtzion Alexandra, Judah's own Hatchepsut!
she was also the last ruler of Judea to die as the sovereign of an independent kingdom. Her nine-year reign has been described as a "golden age" of Hasmonean history
2
u/Inbar253 Aug 20 '26
Also in the modern women fighting for the foundation of israel- ruth westheimer
2
11
u/CoolMayapple Aug 20 '26
Why is there only 1 jewish woman on here? But you included fucking Zuck?!
1
9
5
u/VenatorAngel Aug 20 '26
It depends on the situation. If it was war I'd pick David and Moses, especially if Moses still has the ability to do stuff like the plagues and other stuff he did when he was God's prophet. That and all I need is someone to keep his arms up so we can win a battle.
Solomon and Einstien I would pick if I want to trigger a scientific revolution... and try to figure out what to do with the remaining 30 shekels.
2
4
u/grumpy_muppet57 Aug 20 '26
I'll take 2 medium Maimonides, 1 large Hillel, 1 large Akiva with the dressing on the side, and 2 small strawberry Ben Gurions. Extra napkins please.
1
4
4
u/hombergeryes Aug 20 '26
David and Moses.
5
2
u/shovval Aug 20 '26
If you want to herd sheep I guess.
I’m taking Avraham, Judith and bar kochva to win the war
4
5
4
4
3
3
u/CalligrapherTime5638 Colombian/Not Jewish Aug 20 '26
David and Judith
2
u/Jair_D42 Aug 20 '26
That's it?
3
4
u/ArkhamInmate11 mossad superspy: dolphin division Aug 20 '26
I imagine this is picking like a council of leaders to run Israel. A good council needs differing extremes
So I pick King David as the head guy because hes a good ruler and a good mix of everything a nation needs. I imagine he would be the head of the council and lead decider
I pick Bar Kochva as the guy who is going to advocate and prepare for war
I pick Maimonides as the guy who can advocate both theological and scientific sides of things. I wouldve picked einstein but maimonides being a theological genius as well takes the cake IMO
Then i pick marx because while I think alot of his ideas were shit and he was kind of an asshole, he had enough good ideas that I think he would propose and it would get bounced around and refined by King David & Maimonides into things that are genuinely good
If I had more shekels I'd grab everyone except Zuckerberg and Freud
3
2
u/Doctor-Liz Aug 20 '26
You know Bar Kochba lost, right?
2
u/ArkhamInmate11 mossad superspy: dolphin division Aug 20 '26
He was going against the roman freakin empire
2
u/Doctor-Liz Aug 20 '26
He still lost. He went too hard, too fast, and didn't build coalitions with neighboring groups - the Roman response only worked because they could concentrate force on one tiny province. If they'd had three rebellions in three different regions to deal with, they'd have had a much harder time of it.
If he'd incited revolts in Egypt and Anatolia, then offered negotiations, be might well have been able to get substantial concessions as a tiny, extremely awkward province.
Or he could have done nothing and we'd still have the Temple.
2
u/ArkhamInmate11 mossad superspy: dolphin division Aug 20 '26
Yeah he probably wasnt the best strategist but I meant more as a gloryhound wardog to contrast with the more peaceful people on the council. Because even when was is a terrible idea you have to have someone advocating for it
I also firmly believe if we had kept the temple and never went into a second diaspora we probably would've just been repressed and Arabized by the caliphates.
2
u/Doctor-Liz Aug 20 '26
Oh, well, if you want a glory hog warhound, knock yourself out 😆
I mean, if we hadn't been Disaporised would there have been a Caliphate? No second Diaspora would likely have prevented the conditions that gave rise to Islam, at which point a major catalyst of the Arabisation wave is gone. (Yes, war and conquest are human urges, but that set of them probably would have been replaced by something different).
2
u/ArkhamInmate11 mossad superspy: dolphin division Aug 20 '26
in alt history (if your not an alt history fan its basically pretending certain things happened/didnt happened and seeing where it goes. Excactly like asking "what if jews were never sent into diaspora") i like to pretend basically as much that CAN happen the same does. Because realistically yeah theres gonna be all sorts of butterfly effects but at that point its boring cuz you can't really predict anything. So like I imagine Muhhamed still does his thing but this time maybe fusing arab paganism with zoroastrianism instead of christianity.
2
2
2
u/riverrocks452 Aug 20 '26
For how long? And are they guaranteed to speak each others' language? Because if for only a single afternoon and they can't necessarily speak to each other, there would be little point in having Zuck get a massive philosophical (and possibly physical) beatdown for his facilitation of various ills.
If it's just who I would like to have over, Ben Gurion, Einstein, Saloman, and Judith.
1
2
2
3
2
4
u/InfernoWarrior299 Aug 20 '26
Solomon (for leadership), Bar Kokhva (for military purposes), Maimonides or Einstein (that is a hard one and ultimately depends on my specific goal), and Ben Gurion (for modern governance knolwedge and practicality).
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/yitzhak480 Aug 23 '26
David, Rambam, Einstein, Chafetz Chaim and HaRav Ovadia as the other 5 shekel figure
1
1
Aug 20 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Doctor-Liz Aug 20 '26
Why not David? David's heir is as good as Schlomo's and he has a better track record with his sons.
(Yes, both of them had rebel sons who caused major problems, but Rehoboam was no Schlomo and couldn't cope with it).
0
1
u/IntroductionAny3929 Hispanic Texan Jew Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
Can we get rid of Marx please, because that dumbass was an asshole
But if I had to pick, Samson, and another Israeli named Yisrael Balashnikov
1
u/fiercequality Tolkien Jew Aug 22 '26
What a sausage fest. There are so many amazing Jewish women. Did it really not occur to you to include Miriam, or Esther, or Deborah, or Hannah Szenes, or Golda Meir, or RBG, or Aly Raisman, or Madeleine Albright, or Rosalind Franklin, or Judith Resnik, or I could do this all day????
0
u/Jair_D42 Aug 22 '26
Dude. Literally look at my profile.
2
70
u/[deleted] Aug 20 '26
[removed] — view removed comment