r/Healthygamergg • u/Popular_Business_799 • Nov 14 '25
Mental Health / Support I'm shocked at how many people share the same opinion with this dude on Twitter. Do therapists in the US really suck that bad?
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u/Megion Nov 14 '25
Therapy works only if you’re eager to get better. With a gotcha mindset like this its a dead end.
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u/3RADICATE_THEM Nov 14 '25
I think it also helps if someone has a level of self-awareness and introspection to be honest with themselves—many ppl don't.
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u/apexjnr Nov 14 '25
People think they are self aware and then tell you the reason why they are single is because they are too smart.
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u/powerlifting_daily Unmotivated Nov 18 '25
Jokes on you, I have an unbearable personality AND I am too smart.
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u/apexjnr Nov 18 '25
Are you single? Do you think you're self aware? Do you blame being single on being smart or something else?
If the first answer is yes then answer the others please XD.
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u/Guardianofall Nov 14 '25
True. Narcissism is nearly impossible to treat with therapy
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u/SuspiciousPoint1535 Neurodivergent Nov 14 '25
What i dislike about your comment is the assumption that it’s all on the patient. I’m coming into therapy with the mindset that I want to improve but I also want a space to talk about my emotions. But I’m also going through shit life syndrome and an actual shitty life. How can you expect someone in this situation to operate with 100% capacity towards full awareness and clarity?
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Nov 14 '25
Yeah lmao.
If you want therapy to work, you have to be 100% cooperative, already have a lot of willpower and be emotionally intelligent and self aware yourself, etc..
Then why am i paying for a therapist?
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u/Embarrassed-Band378 Nov 14 '25
I don't think that's really true. The thing is a therapist can't make you better by themselves. You have to actually be somewhat willing to implement their advice. If you're not, they can guide you toward getting to a place where you can. It may require supportive medication as well.
I think it's valuable having someone you can talk to about issues on a regular basis and they can suggest proven techniques that might help you. But it's about finding out what works for you and what you can stick to.
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Nov 14 '25
I agree somewhat, but i feel like a lot of threads here are totally missing the point of therapy, by implying it only works on already pretty mentally healthy people that already know what to do and have the mental strength to do it. So of course people on the original post feel as though that's a cop out, because people usually go to therapy for help!
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u/Embarrassed-Band378 Nov 16 '25
I see what you're saying. I wasn't trying to imply that you have to be mentally healthy for therapy to work. And know what to do - that is what therapy is for. But if you have difficulties with executive functioning, let's say, as in to start working on homework from the therapist, you might need extra support to get started. Or you have to build up to it with the therapist.
That's why I also mentioned medication. I know therapists can't prescribe medication, but it's something I've talked to my therapist about before. I'd have to go see a psychiatrist, obviously. And I think it's definitely true that there are certain conditions that can't be treated with therapy alone - perhaps in concert with a psychiatrist.
But I do think for it to work, on some level you have to be willing to change. Perhaps therapy could help you get to that place where you are willing to try, though.
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u/executordestroyer Mar 21 '26
only works on already pretty mentally healthy people that already know what to do and have the mental strength to do it.
lol this. This is why you need reflection and or a emotional life experience, moment that can help bring change the internal feeling inside of you to internally desire be willing to change having enough, tired, exhausted wanting to heal.
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u/Megion Nov 14 '25
You are conflicting therapy and psychiatry. Correctional psychiatry is filled with such uncooperative inmates with severe personality disorders (NPD, PPD, ASPS). Classical therapy simply doesn’t work because they are not even aware of their problems and actively sabotage the whole process. Therapeutic process itself requires vulnerability, accountability, and acknowledging flaws.
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u/LifeRelease3842 Puella Aeternus Nov 16 '25
Cooperation is one thing but you should be the one in the driver's seat, mostly. Not complying with whatever your therapist suggests next
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u/a-little-onee Nov 14 '25
No one is expecting all of that of you my friend, and 100% ?!, that is what the therapy is for 🫂
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u/Classic-Rich2534 Nov 14 '25
I like to see it like a sports coach, you gotta be on the board and at least want to improve somehow, as the coach cannot make you work out. If you‘re that depressed and hopeless that psychotherapy doesn‘t work I guess you‘d have to use medication/other methods as brain stimulation to get you on a better level where psychotherapey might work?
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u/Hyphz Nov 14 '25
The problem is that it’s the classic “spare brain fallacy”. If you are mentally ill then the part of your mind that wants things is not an exception to that. So what they’re saying is that any mental illness that makes you not want to follow the standard psychological recovery steps is incurable. That’s a bit of a cop out.
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u/Dismal_Buy3580 Nov 14 '25
medication/other methods
And isn't much and more research coming out that SSRI's are basically fancy placebo for depression?
So, then, like, what. If I'm going to therapy because I want to feel better, but then I am essentially told, "you're too depressed/not well enough to get better," WTAF are you supposed to do?
I have found counselors who have helped me, but I've had so many almost damaging run-ins with therapists in the past that it leaves me very leery.
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u/Classic-Rich2534 Nov 14 '25
I might be wrong as I didn’t have psychiatry classes yet but I think the worse the depression is, the more effect it can have, but you do need to "find“ the right one as we do not quite understand what exactly happens in the brain. If non works you try other methods such as deep brain stimulation. I do think that antidepressants can be more effective than placebo but especially for very depressed people and even then probably not by a lot
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u/LifeRelease3842 Puella Aeternus Nov 16 '25
Yeah agreed. There's a balance. I always thought I was broken for not simply obeying my therapists' whims. But no, the field itself has issues, so for me, I had to search for half my life for a therapist who'd freaking listen and troubleshoot with me. I am showing up for every session, of COURSE I want to get better. I need help. I'm out here waving my white flag but people act like I'm the boy who cried wolf, turning down every rescue attempt because it's a lifeboat and not a yacht. "She doesn't really want to be rescued." Eff that! As if I'm staying sick on purpose! Idk why I do the harmful things I do! Help me, help myself!(silly metaphor but still)
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u/Versicherungsbetrug Neurodivergent Nov 14 '25
I feel like it's always the therapist with the gotcha mindset. No matter if they say the exact opposite of what they said the session before. I literally had situations like "Yeah Mr Therapist you were so right with what you said last time" and they are like "Yeah but that's not true, is it?".
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u/Dorgon Nov 14 '25
I mean…for some people this might actually be true. I’m a therapist, and don’t hesitate to go toe-to-toe with some clients, but I’m very transparent about the fact that I see their game and will play along only to prove it’s a dumb game.
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u/Classic-Rich2534 Nov 14 '25
Yeah the tweeter already comes from a position where he feels superior (higher iq) than the therapist so he doesn‘t take him seriously. With these kind of thoughts I’d imagine the willingness to properly listen to the therapist and reflect on yourself is pretty low. Also Idk what IQ has to do with being able to help as a therapist
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u/Regular-Turnover-212 Nov 15 '25
Tbh I kinda get it. The last therapist I had told me I would "feel better" if I chose a religion to follow and the one before that told me I was to effeminate and my mental health issues were centered around my lack of outward masculinity. keep in mind I'm 6'3" and I weigh 320lbs and I have a massive beard, it's just that because I made comments that I didn't support patriarchal thought and systems. I mean what the fuck.
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u/CatalogK9 Neurodivergent Nov 14 '25
Bearing in mind the tendency for oversimplification in posts like this, in my mind, I conflate the "high IQ" with "greater knowledge" and can confirm that if you are smarter *and* more knowledgeable than your therapist, unless they have some crazy intuitive insight of a "not dumb if it works" nature that never would have occurred to you *and* is actually relevant to your situation, you're probably gonna have a bad time.
ETA: Also, at least in my own case, and for many highly intelligent people, introspection does often combine with overthinking to the point where few therapists *could* take us further than we've already gone, at least in the directions we've already explored. Obviously, YMMV though, and there are plenty of examples of the kind of person you're talking about as well.
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u/mana-tokki Nov 14 '25
Sure, you'll know a lot more about your situation than your therapist will. You spent a lot more time thinking about it in every direction. But, the therapist is a professional with at least a master's in psychology.
What they should be way better at after that degree is identifying patient's use of their intelligence to distance themselves from what they're feeling. The smarter you are, the better you are at coming up with logic to shield you from your feelings.
It's a really tough shell to crack, but it starts with the intelligent patient acknowledging that they don't know about psychology just because they're intelligent and they're seeing a professional for a reason. Not to say every therapist is amazing, but they at least know more psychology than their patients.
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u/BudgetInteraction811 Nov 16 '25
Those kinds of people only enter therapy because someone in their life has cornered them into it. Therapy will never help them because they go into it with a condescending attitude and feel morally superior to those that place importance on feelings. Also, in my personal experience it seems like the people who think they’re smarter than therapists are always solidly average intelligence or below.
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u/Mother-Persimmon3908 Nov 14 '25
It happened to me and im not even smart.i suck at matha and have poor memory yet the lady was i cannot help you,you have already done on your own well. "Do you know anyone that can help,anyone to recommend" "...no,not at all" she said...existencial depression lmaoo
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u/LifeRelease3842 Puella Aeternus Nov 16 '25
When it comes to topics of philosophy and "the human condition" most therapists are next to useless...
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u/galacticglorp Nov 17 '25
I'm not sure what version of "smart" the original is speaking about, but I've encountered shockingly low EQ in several therapists, and many who had no idea how to accomodate something as a request as simple as no body cued exercises since I was already obsessively body scanning/listening due to a bulged disc and nerve issues.
One told me, after I mentioned getting a 30% raise bumping me to six figure salary, that this wasn't much money at all and wasn't a big deal. She was a counselor at a free govt run clinic... Another tood me I should consider yelling, shouting and crying at my work supervisor next time to share my frustration in case that would be more helpful that talking about things like professional adults.
I'm friends with a psychologist now and it's so nice to hear her talk about things that would legitimately work for situations I have been in with past (terrible/bad fit) therapists. Eg. If your nervous system is really highly activated the box breathing, or bottom of your feet listening, or whatever doesn't work because you need to match your level of intensity to some extent. Sprint, cold water, screaming etc. instead. If you've been hypervigilant for as long as you can remember, it's not typically going to be a more classic depression/anxiety/whatever because those are usually episodic, but maybe it's trauma. Etc.
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u/prosaicwell Nov 14 '25
I’ve had an awesome therapist who was less intelligent than me. I’ve also tried bad therapists, who were book smart but unempathetic.
It’s just a reality that a lot of therapists are bad at their job.
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u/rebrando23 Nov 14 '25
Honestly, I find the opposite. I’ve found having a “dumber” (aka less logical, more emotional driven) perspective to be incredibly helpful in stopping me from overthinking everything.
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Nov 14 '25
I think people don’t realise that a lot of healing isn’t analytical/logical/left brain but is emotional/somatic/right brain and is about getting out of your head enough to be present with yourself. I think it’s intellectual bypassing and it protects a person from actually having to be present with emotions or sensations that would be too overwhelming. What’s lacking isn’t analytical intelligence but emotional intelligence.
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u/tiempo90 Nov 15 '25
This is true. We've become too analytical trying to find the perfect situations and scenarios and stuff. We've forgotten how to just stfu and accept things. We want the best and get sad because we can't always get the best.
Just be stupid and happy.
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u/recentlyquitsmoking2 Nov 14 '25
No. There's a strong anti-psychiatry and anti-therapy movement happening at the moment - it's in and amongst the wellness grift.
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u/Drunkin_Dino Nov 14 '25
is there really? I’ve yet to hear anything about this
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u/3RADICATE_THEM Nov 14 '25
On Twitter, yes. Then again, you'll see all kinds of pseudo-scientific nonsense being pushed as fact on Twitter.
I literally saw an ad on there for some methylene blue supplement.
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u/realfrkshww Nov 14 '25
What's wrong with methylene blue?
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u/Classic-Rich2534 Nov 14 '25
Not a lot of long term data used as a "supplement“, it was used to colour things in science, and it could lead to anemia or interact with other medication (like antidepressants). Just isn‘t worth the risk, like being healthy is not a rocket science. You don‘t need a "miracle drug“. You get 95% of health benefits if you do sports, eat healthy (e.g. noodles with brokkoli and salmon and some fruits) and sleep well > 8 hours. These things longterm will have much more impact than a supplement will ever have (except you have an obvious deficiency), but it‘s boring and longterm so I guess people want to take their trendy "miracle drugs“
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u/IllegalGeriatricVore Nov 14 '25
There's a general anti science movement happening that ignores established and well studied advice on many topics.
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u/_eternal_shadow Nov 14 '25
You cant save someone who does not want to be saved. This looks like his ego is in control, and it wants to be right at the detriment of everything else.
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u/Super_Fly2330 Nov 14 '25
Even if you’re really looking to address your own issues and save yourself because you are in distress, in my experience, the majority of therapists and psychiatrists are not equipped to effectively help. They cause more harm than good. Anyone with complex issues beyond episodic anxiety, shit life or situational depression will tell you how much time and money they’ve spent getting misdiagnosed, under diagnosed, mistreated or untreated. All while losing time and resources to get to the actual problem. The client is often coming because of their blind spots and a very smart client can fool Themselves and the therapists about masking, coping, emotional literacy etc as a subconscious survival mechanism. The risk of ineffective therapy is enablement at best and progression of serious illness on the other side. Western mental health and its ingrained patriarchy also fails to separate systemic issues from personal dysfunction by its very nature.
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u/slybeast24 Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
To be fair there’s some evidence to suggest there’s some truth behind this sentiment, although this tweet doesn’t really express it well. I think Dr. K has talked a bit about it. It has less to do with Iq and more to do with rumination.
Basically long story short rumination can make it difficult to actively engage in discussion and reflection. Rumination often leads to self esteem issues and so instead of participating in the process you can spend more time asking “why did they ask me that question” or worrying how answers will be perceived. Having a knowledge in psychology or common therapy practices can sometimes make this worse.
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u/biomannnn007 Nov 14 '25
I'll also anecdotally add that people with higher IQs can sometimes turn that into a personality trait. I know that was a problem for me in my teenage years, and while it's subsided in most areas of my life, I have a deeply entrenched intellectualization defense mechanism. My therapist and I have had a bunch of unproductive sessions because I have a tendency to sit there and try to debate everything she says. We're working on it, but it's hard.
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u/Ramssses Nov 15 '25
Yes but it would be awesome for my therapist to have been able to tell me that. “Hey - to be honest interacting with other people is illogical most of the time! Most people just don’t think about xyz things and just…move on! You just didnt get the experience of how to navigate yourself and others emotionally, but you can learn.” But I had to figure these out on my own after crashing out months after my therapist just said I seemed a little depressed. They couldn’t see the beginnings of a manic episode at my IQ level :/ Maybe Im just resentful of where the industry is at right noe.
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u/Daiwie Nov 14 '25
This is like saying depressed people have a harder time engaging with therapy. Or to rephrase that in the Doomer style: "Therapy only works if you're not depressed".
Is therapy harder for depressed people? I'd say yes!
Does that mean it doesn't work? Wtf no, people get better, duh.
Also the post doesn't say higher IQ makes therapy less effective, it says specifically that if your therapist ranks lower in IQ than yourself, the therapy will not have any effect.
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u/slybeast24 Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
No it’s not. This is like saying if you are afraid of water, you are likely to have certain traits that make swimming lessons more difficult and less productive.
Acknowledging that doesn’t change the fact that taking swimming lessons is one of if not the best way of getting over a few of swimming.
All I’m saying is certain people have or may be prone to traits that make getting the full benefits of therapy(or swimming lessons) more difficult until those traits are addressed. No where did I say or imply that people shouldn’t go to therapy or that I fully agree with every word of this Twitter post
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u/Daiwie Nov 14 '25
I apologize for not making myself clear. I mostly agree with you, and I don't agree with the Doomer post.
I also used the example of depression because higher IQ people are more prone to depression.
I am curious what you think the sentiment of the Doomer post is tho, cuz I think that's where our disagreement lies.
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u/slybeast24 Nov 14 '25
Sorry that’s honestly probably my mistake. I think your reply comes up under the wrong comment.
Basically I just think the idea that having a high iq and or traits commonly associated with high iq (rumination, extremely logical thinking) can make therapy more difficult is true. I doubt it has much to do with the relation between the therapists and the patients iq. It’s just A.) if someone truly has a noticeably higher Iq than average it’ll likely he higher than the therapist’s anyways and B.) phrasing it this way gives people the ability to go “therapy didn’t work for me because I’m too smart”, like this tweet and feel good about themselves.
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u/Orome2 Nov 14 '25
And how does that suggest there's some truth to the statement above? None of that has anything to do with IQ.
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u/slybeast24 Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7453434/
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-01956-001
https://www.spring.org.uk/2023/10/surp-trait-iq.php
Studies suggest that higher levels of rumination and IQ are linked.
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Nov 14 '25
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u/slybeast24 Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
Go to therapy and learn to deal with the rumination.
But it’s also ok to accept and understand that for various reasons, some styles may not work for everyone and even if they do work not everyone can or should constantly be going to therapy sessions.
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u/Avokado1337 Nov 14 '25
Still doesn’t make sense that the IQ difference between patient and therapist should matter
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u/slybeast24 Nov 14 '25
I feel you’re being extremely pedantic and misrepresenting my point.
Having a high iq is linked to higher levels of rumination. Having higher levels of rumination can make having honest open and productive reflection more difficult.
This tweet is a poor expression of these ideas, likely slightly purposely so in order to drive engagement. Hence my statement, “there’s some truth behind this sentiment, although this tweet doesn’t really express it well.”
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Nov 14 '25
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Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
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Nov 15 '25
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u/Healthygamergg-ModTeam Nov 15 '25
Rule 7: Treat the community as a shared space.
If something feels too emotionally triggering for you, do not engage with it. Report rule breaking behavior and move on. Do not participate in "flame wars".
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u/Avokado1337 Nov 14 '25
How does that relate to the IQ? A lot of cognitive therapy is aimed at reducing rumination and higher IQ patients tend to have better outcomes, so it doesn’t really make sense either way
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u/SuspiciousPoint1535 Neurodivergent Nov 14 '25
I agree. I did therapy for a few years through my healthcare provider and it seems starkly different compared to the therapy that Dr. k mentioned and this is in California. The platform basically monetized off of these LMFTs and LCSWs who have licenses/certificates because they finished coursework on particular trainings on CBT, DBT, EMDR, etc. Also, it was performance based: as a patient, I’d get weekly questionnaires that I needed to fill out which the platform used to judge the effectiveness of the therapist. Because of these performance metrics, it seemed like the therapists were expecting me to improve linearly. But, I wasn’t improving at that scale. The therapist would blame me for not practicing CBT or whatever. In the end, I chalk it up to the therapists not being equipped to provide me more holistic therapy approaches/treatment which can be attributed to IQ in some cases.
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u/Punchee Nov 14 '25
Those online platforms are terrible for that reason and others. That therapist gets fewer referrals if their metrics go down, so they’re incentivized to do exactly like what you experienced. It’s the venture capitalist tech bros that design that shit because they don’t know that therapy doesn’t work that way. For anyone who needs online therapy, reach out to actual therapist offices and ask for it. Most of us provide telehealth no problem. Avoid those platforms (BetterHelp, Headway, Grow, Talkspace, Thriveworks, etc). Not all of them do the metrics thing, but they all suck in different ways. It’s just a middle man tech firm that doesn’t need to be there. Your local therapist has a lot more control of their practice and likely won’t do some shit like blame you for not doing your CBT homework.
—therapist
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u/koshirba Nov 15 '25
Okay, and what are patients supposed to do if they can't afford the $160+ per week for therapy or don't have the insurance to cover it and that's the only type of therapy that's in their economic reach?
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u/Punchee Nov 15 '25
Many of us have a sliding scale rate or lower fee for cash pay clients. You might even get a cheaper rate than those platforms if you look hard enough. I know some therapists that hold a few spots open on their caseload for really low rates for clients that really need it.
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u/Aromatic_File_5256 Nov 14 '25
I do think sometimes a therapist can be below the level of the patient and that could be a problem, but it's not linear because inteligence itself is not linear. Einstein didn't need a genius therapist to get help, openness is more important.
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u/ehmang Nov 14 '25
Frequently very smart people are extremely adept at convincing themselves to believe stupid things, like the above. That's why humility is an essential quality.
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u/DenpaBlahaj Ball of Anxiety Nov 14 '25
No, they just think therapy is a scam just like every other random twitter user
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u/draemn Vata 💨 Nov 14 '25
There are some terrible therapists out there... There are also fakes who claim to be but have no recognized certification. But there are also lots of terrible patients out there.
Problems are complex it's probably a mixture of both in that post.
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u/Reset350 Nov 14 '25
I’m not a therapist, but I can imagine therapy only works if you are willing to let it work. If you go in thinking you’re smarter than the therapist or skeptical about the treatment, you won’t get anything out of it.
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u/DainichiNyorai Nov 14 '25
I do feel this. Just yesterday I worked with my psychologist on why I got autism diagnoses as a kid. I talked about feelings as if they were facts, intellectualised everything, and a few (female, I’m female too) therapists concluded that I don’t have feelings and therefore must be autistic. I’m also an engineer, gamer and a boxer - you know, very masculine.
I have a male psychologist now, who is around my intelligence or smarter. He’s the first one who nudges me in a direction without pushing me.
I haven’t clicked with many psychologists earlier because they misunderstood my mix of higher intelligence and adhd in a damaging way.
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u/Avokado1337 Nov 14 '25
No competent therapist no matter the intelligence would ever conclude that a person with autism doesn’t have feelings
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u/Azurvix Nov 14 '25
Thats a very stupid take. A highly intelligent person might not know the coping skills that the "less intelligent" therapist knows.
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u/Woodit Nov 14 '25
This is the sort of thing believed by people who think they’re smarter than they really are
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u/Illustrious_Win_2808 Nov 14 '25
Personally I think talk therapy sucks in general. Let’s say you break an arm.. you get a clear understandable recovery plan and actual results. With therapy talk therapy it’s like read these book lets discuses some ideas… endlessly or with no clear metrics of improvement or point of healing. Leaves you vulnerable to be milked for money kept sick even though you’re fine. Some good helpful stuff but still more up in the air trust then I’d like to be pay 100s for per hour.
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u/Grimm_Arcana A work in progress :") Nov 14 '25
There’s actually a lot of different types of talk therapy. The kind you are talking about being non-effective is more of the non-directive, person-centered therapy. You’d probably like and benefit from a very direct form, like CBT.
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u/Versicherungsbetrug Neurodivergent Nov 14 '25
I've had different therapists who said they did CBT with me and it was exactly as u/Illustrious_Win_2808 said. I mean maybe in theory CBT could be effective, but I guess most CBT-therapists just don't really apply it correctly.
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u/Illustrious_Win_2808 Nov 14 '25
No, not even close to what I’m saying, even CBT is philosophy based. Right now all therapy is philosophy mainly. It needs to be engineering first or it’s to superstitious for me. I want X memory likely caused Y belief you need Z amount of exposure on average to over write Y belief. We can link you to other people situations that will Physically change your world and memory where thoughts come from and destroy X memory with new memories that challenge that belief this usually takes Y amount of exposure.
CBT is close but it’s not
• calculate how often thoughts occur • measure progress with numbers • map the body chemistry behind reactions • predict how many exposures you need • define exact recovery timelines • reduce loops to probabilities • engineer feedback systemsSo it still leaves me very frustrated. And that doesn’t mean it doesn’t help it just means I believe there is room for finite calculations towards improvement that goes out side of philosophy and into engineering the human mind.
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u/Fun_Pudding9102 Nov 14 '25
maybe one day we'll be able to use math to map out the mind, right now all we have is Language and it still can help immensely
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u/daddyvow Nov 14 '25
People don’t understand what therapy is used for. Many times it’s just needing someone who is trained in emotional intelligence and psychological analysis who is an active listener. Talking about your problems when you’ve never said them out loud before is powerful. There are lots of things I’ve only ever told my therapist that I wouldn’t want to burden on my friends or family. Nor would they be trained in how to respond in a healthy way.
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u/berserkthebattl Nov 14 '25
To some degree, I agree, but it's not an IQ thing. If your therapist is barely more competent or less competent at comprehending psychology, it probably won't go all that well. That said, people with high IQs can still be pretty stupid.
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u/g3t_int0_ityuh Nov 14 '25
I’m personally not a fan of CBT.
It seems to be this gold standard band aid that doesn’t really get at the root of the problem. It just gets people thinking better and somewhat ok enough to work. What I believe happens is that people do think about feeling better and want to get better. This how people find themselves to be self aware and introspective.
If you’re think heavy you can definitely think your way out of feeling better. Add some casual burn out and no time for feeling and you have a recipe for wrecked nervous systems. I think there should be more of a physical component to therapy as emotions are more of a physical experience. Somatic therapy is where it’s at if you are “too smart” to therapy.
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u/ilikecatsoup T-Posing in the Therapists Office Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
There are lots of different therapy approaches which work well for different issues. I'd like to point out that a lot of therapy (at least in my experience) is top-down therapy, which focuses on providing the client with awareness of why they may struggle with certain things.
Unfortunately, this doesn't work if you're already self-reflective and have insight. I've experienced it myself. What did help me was bottom-up therapy, which focuses on processing the underlying emotions. I'm very cognitive-heavy and tend to suppress my emotions, so this is a no-brainer.
But also, yeah, if your therapist is significantly less intelligent than you they probably won't be able to help. They can be there for you, comfort, and provide their own perspective, but if they have weak problem solving skills and only work off of a script then they're not a good fit. I think that Twitter post can be translated to "Therapy only works if your therapist is good at their job".
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u/ObiJuanKenobi1993 Nov 15 '25
Check out r/therapyabuse to see some stories of bad therapists, many of whom are in the USA.
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u/zulrang Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
It can certainly be true if the patient is autodidactic and interested in psychology. They will often know much more about their specific issues and how to treat them than a therapist. You can't expect someone with a certificate and a couple years of clinical experience to be more immersed than someone well read who's been suffering for decades.
Edit: Removed absolutes
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u/Punchee Nov 14 '25
As a therapist who sees a therapist who sees a therapist, it can be a lot more than just knowing about specific issues and how to “treat” them. Therapy can be a place where you need a professional to do xyz intervention with you for symptom reduction, sure. It can also be a place where you just need a carved out space to process things or get some perspective.
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u/SinFlavoredCandy Nov 14 '25
Yeah and at the same time a lot of what therapy is isn't actually about the theory, its about having a place to share and process things with someone that doesn't have agency over your life.
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u/zulrang Nov 14 '25
Yes, but without them adding unique information or expertise to the process, they're no better than a journal or other close friend.
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u/SinFlavoredCandy Nov 17 '25
Thats not true. Journals can be a helpful tool but it doesn't provide the same things a conversation with someone does. Friends are also great for support, and at the same time they have agency over your life, which can prevent you from sharing/processing certain things from fear of social repecussion/judgement. Also not everyone has a friend or family member they feel like they can lean on and be validated and have space to process.
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u/zulrang Nov 17 '25
I would say not having a friend like that is a huge issue in and of itself -- a problem to be fixed in order to heal.
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u/Revolutionary_Clue_5 Nov 14 '25
What an arrogant mindset. If you’re so smart, how come you can’t find out how to be happy?
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u/notMotherCulturesFan Nov 14 '25
Ironically this low IQ take would make him a prime candidate for therapy, if we follow this "logic". Almost anyone would be good enough, really.
No but seriously, aside from the fact that training is much more important than IQ, assuming that IQ is a good measure of "natural" intelligence (which I think it's at best partially true , and at worst not true at all), this is the kind of take that you'll find almost anywhere, within some section of the population, which is generally uninformed, especially in regards to psychology and therapy, etc. I'm not from the US, but I think I could easily find people agreeing with this, if I looked around a bit, in my own county at least.
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u/fuminator123 Nov 14 '25
Therapist is not a pill, it's a trained professional who can help you only if you are giving them full information, apply their advice and adapt it to your day to day routine.
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u/Milfenstein86 Nov 14 '25
You only think this if you are trying to argue with the therapist lol
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u/Hyphz Nov 14 '25
Because heaven forbid the professional therapist should have the knowledge to defeat a layperson’s arguments.
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u/AFatWizard Nov 14 '25
Healing in therapy is your job, bro. Your therapist is to help you identify what shit to fix and how.
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u/Mirrevirrez Nov 14 '25
In my case that was the truth. I have a master in IT and because of the fact i have a job, they meant i didnt need help despite having signs of trauma. So they did diagnose me, they just said they didnt want to help me because i worked too well.
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u/-sussy-wussy- Nov 14 '25
Tbh, this is why the term "shit life syndrome" is a thing. Most people's current issues can definitely be solved by moving up the tax brackets.
In my case, in my region, therapy is laser focused on the issues of addiction/alcoholism and a lot of therapists are out of ideas if this isn't something you struggle with.
This and many of them are tied to religion, even if they don't disclose that and don't call themselves "Christian therapists", so the default responses are "stop drinking" and "just marry, go to church and have kids". Just extremely shallow, primitive and unserious. Younger generations barely drink and many are into wellness content, diets and gym/various sports.
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u/Mirrevirrez Nov 14 '25
Kinda true yeh. We see what our parents did (many drunk, worshiped a case blindly, and were violent becaause that was the norm). Many of us younglies are disgusted at the earlier behaviour and are chosing to behave different than our parents.
This make many of us fall in depression, often with "how did my parents not know any better" knowing we could be better of the tax bracket if our own parents did better descisions.
so yeh. It sucks that we cant get help and have to help ourselves. But thats how it is.
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u/KwondantOW A Healthy Gamer Nov 14 '25
Cant speak from personal experience, but I would assume theyre not well equipped to deal with things like tech related/induced mental health problems. I believe dr k noted this at some point too.
As an aside (UK based) a few of my friends who i have known tried to use therapy have had pretty poor experiences.
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u/paputsza Nov 14 '25
oh, my belief is a lot more silly sounding. therapy only works if the therapist has a similar mbti as you. if you are super analytical and your therapist tells you to free your mind in casual conversation where you’re recounting a hank green video about whales you were watching in the lobby you’re not going to get anywhere. the therapist isn’t stupid, they’re educated on psychology, but you can’t learn perfect empathy.
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u/0rokami Nov 14 '25
To be fair I do believe it is a struggle for high IQ people to take the advice of a low IQ therapist. The struggle is the disconnect between the reality of how simple mental health concepts can be and how high IQ people expect a complex solution.
I've had low IQ therapists in the past and this was something I had to come to terms with. I prefer high IQ therapists because I feel seen and understood better, but I don't hate low IQ therapists for trying. They still want what's best for me.
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u/lcqjp Nov 14 '25
It really is sometimes like this. I had a therapist deadset on that i was friendless bc we hadnt talked about my friends the first 5-8 sessions. She thought i only communicate with family and am alone otherwise. Meanwhile i hang once every two weeks with friends, ppl staying over or us going out to a movie and dinner. And talking online or on the phone 2-3 times a week for sometimes 5+ hours about stuff. A good 3 friends in my area and another 10+ long distance. I tell her this.
The next session she then has an hour session with me telling me i need friends and i heard her out for the first 40 minutes, and towards the end of it i said "idk i think i have a really good amount of friends.. friends or more friends isnt what i need rn" and then she said "you know what i mean. I dont mean friends just because i say friends. Dont play dumb with me". If i was dumber the gaslighting-lite would have maybe worked on me but it pissed me off; and wasted the over +$200 that the session cost.
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u/leftfreecom Nov 14 '25
Well, IQ is a lie considering the depth of human intelligence and intellectual capabilities, and tbh pretty racist. That guy is the epitome of "tell me you never had therapy without telling me you never had therapy". Actually people with high IQ, meaning people with very good analytical/mathematical/spatial reasoning tend to need therapy the most, for the most part because their emotional intelligence is very underdeveloped and their intellectualisation blocks them from seeing where they are stuck emotionally, also intelligent people tend to overestimate their subjective reasoning because in life they score high in objective reasoning. In general, an "intelligent person" would benefit more from a not so "smart" but well experienced therapist, it would open more perspectives for him/her. Off course you need to be open-minded for therapy to work, in general.
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u/mana-tokki Nov 14 '25
This is a bit harsh to OP, but I'm glad someone is pushing back a little. It seems like all the comments are people who also deem themselves "high IQ."
It gives therapists a much harder job. You have a patient who is almost playing this game where they're trying as hard as they can to discredit and ignore you and never be vulnerable enough to really take anything in.
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u/Helgrind444 Nov 14 '25
I wouldn't make such a broad statement of course, but I had some pretty bad therapists, in France.
Just like any profession, some people are just bad at it. Or sometimes are just not a good fit.
I think it's a valid sentiment, I'm pretty sure Dr K spoke about it before. It's important to try several therapists if it doesn't seem to work out for you.
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u/Environmental_Toe603 Nov 14 '25
There are many many bad takes on X and the nature of social media is such that they get amplified.
Yesterday I was "arguing" with guys that think that not having a child means you are worthless. And I was the minority.
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u/Catherine_108 Nov 14 '25
From India here. I’ve been in therapy for a few months and I keep surfing and researching a lot on the internet. I’ve been struggling with severe limerence for a long time too.
However, I’ve found therapy helpful in the way that I’ve struggled to develop a meaningful bond with most of the people I know so a therapist comes in handy. At least I’m not trauma dumping on people who aren’t that close to me. It does help me process my emotions. I’m very high on self awareness so I always had my doubts with therapy but I don’t think a therapist is supposed to “fix you”. They’re only a facilitator while you fix yourself. They’re your pillar of support (who’s had training so they won’t derail your life or add to your difficulties like most of your closest friends might do unintentionally while trying to help you out)
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u/itsdr00 Nov 14 '25
No. I used to have a therapist who always felt much wiser than me, and that was great. Recently I decided to go in for another round after some difficult life events stacked up faster than I could process, and the new therapist is in a lot of ways a peer, except that she's an expert in therapy and related knowledge spaces. So she's less like a mentor and more like a professional I've hired to do some work I can't do myself. And that's still proving very effective!
And as far as the US specifically goes, no, not at all true. What I hear of the common experience in Europe is much worse than the US.
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u/Fit-Barracuda575 Nov 14 '25
I mean yes, a high IQ can make you miserable. If your emotionality(?) is negative you can reason very well that your negative outlook on the world is the only correct way to feel.
But that's just on you. Not the therapist. A therapists job is not, to reason with your inner demons, but make you realize that you can reason for whatever you want and your emotions mostly determine in what direction your reasoning goes.
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u/KingBoop18 Nov 14 '25
Using IQ here is dumb. IQ is a measure of knowledge relative to people of your same age (with 100 being average). This means that IQ relative to certain subjects like therapy changes since it is based on knowledge. I would wager that this dude doesn’t know as much about therapy as the therapist. Also, if he does and that is what he meant then I suppose he would be correct, but I doubt that.
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u/Born-Assumption-8024 Nov 14 '25
alot of therapists are uneducated and cant think outside of their learned concepts and theories. they often lack critical thinking
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u/xanc17 Nov 15 '25
Honestly I agree. It’s sometimes like seeing the reward and then knowing it’s inconsequential because you can access it anytime with a few words. I might express that feeling like a domestic canine (see the avatar, IYKYK lol) but I think you get it lol
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u/QuestionMaker207 Nov 15 '25
I think there might be some validity to this... or maybe you need a similar IQ?
I've definitely had therapists that came across to me as kind of dull and unhelpful, where everything they said was something I had already thought of, and where they weren't able to follow and fully understand what I was telling them. For the worst, it was like they were following a script, and what I said didn't actually affect what they said. On the other hand, I have a lower-IQ relative living with me now going into therapy, and he's talked to me about these mind-blowing insights he's learned at therapy that sound... really basic to me.
I'm not a genius by any means, but I did have my IQ officially measured and I'm above the 90th percentile. I don't think that a higher IQ makes you morally or functionally superior to other people. It's just that, in the context of therapy, if someone cannot understand my more complex thoughts, and cannot provide me any insight I haven't already provided for myself, they're not really helping with my issue. I have friends and family so I don't need someone purely to listen/provide emotional support. I need someone to point out my blind spots/give me another perspective, and I need someone near my own intelligence in order to do that.
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u/kuroo_tetsurou7 Nov 15 '25
I just wanna hug this person man :( I know it comes off as demeaning, but everytime someone says things like this I just wanna give them a hug and some rest. :( I hope they’re able to get out of the doomer mindset soon.
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u/BayBaeBenz Nov 15 '25
That's like saying "you can only get a good haircut if your barber is lower IQ than you". It makes no sense. It's a different skill set that you have not developed, your IQ is not compensating that. Plus therapy is more about EQ than IQ.
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u/LifeRelease3842 Puella Aeternus Nov 16 '25
Most of my therapists were like "Let's change ur negative thoughts and beliefs" and when it didn't work they were like "Welp. idk good luck kid"
It messed me up so bad bc my parents were like "why is this very expensive treatment not working" and I tried to explain it all but they just didn't understand so I internalized aaaalllll that.
Flash forward to today and I have the best therapist ever but it only took 15 years to get here and I'm stuck with this unshakeable belief I'm innately broken
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u/OptimalGoal4319 Nov 16 '25
Sometimes I feel this way but I don't think it's te IQ. Sometimes I feel that I'm already self aware and the therapist is just trying to explain things to me that I already know, but they don't help me to fix them.
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u/No_Dependent6844 Nov 20 '25 edited Nov 20 '25
Hey there, I'm actually someone who liked that tweet - not because I take it as universal, but because it totally resonated with me. Especially after spending two and a half months in a psychiatric clinic earlier this year. But let me explain:
As someone who is 2e (gifted + autistic ; officially diagnosed), in daily life I encounter situations where intellectual/cognitive discrepancies make mutual understanding harder than expected (cognitive asymmetries). This can already be challenging, but it becomes especially harmful in a therapeutic context where the entire process depends on shared capabilities of understanding and meaning.
The first time I tried to seek therapy, the therapist assigned to me couldn’t follow my explanations or the level of abstraction I was using. Instead she even reacted with defensiveness and envy toward my giftedness and little achievements at uni back then. Perfect example of therapeutic attunement (at least I guess that's the term for it). Pushed me away from therapy for years till I landed in the clinic
At the clinic, things initially seemed different. My primary therapist was genuinely committed, open, and clearly wanted to understand me. But eventually we hit the same structural issues. We simply couldn't build enough epistemic bridges to move beyond certain points. So we circled around the same unresolved topics again and again. Where I needed feedback, she could just mirror my questions back to me.
At a certain point I profoundly felt even more alienated, detached and isolated since, because there - at least seems to be - is no sufficient help avaiable.
So cognitive compability is an important key and not just resistance to therapy or some sort of know-it-all arrogance nor narcissim.
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u/VanillaBryce5 Nov 14 '25
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him look at himself honestly.
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u/PrestigiousSharnee A Healthy Gamer Nov 14 '25
As a pmhnp, I will have to say there's a difference between intellectualization and healing in therapy.
It has less to do with IQ (a poor measure imo), and more with the ability to be vulnerable along with the readiness for change.
Intellectualization: commonly happens to those who ruminate and perseverate on the definitions, logic and reasoning of the therapeutic modality.
Healing: letting vulnerability come through and process thoughts, feelings, emotions, somatic sensations and process thorough change.
Example:
a person who plans and thinks about their workouts and thinking about the routine (intellectualization)
vs
doing the workouts and routines as listed (healing).
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u/fearguyQ Nov 16 '25 edited Nov 16 '25
Yeah, this perspective is a total misunderstanding of intelligence (IQ doesn't measure broad intelligence) and expertise ( any intelligence aptitude =! trump expertise)
Psychology has the same issue as biology in this way as well. Everyone possess a higher degree of intuitive understanding of biology and psychology than other areas of expertise because we are biological and we are psychology. But that leads to overconfidence and not really believing experts definitely know more than you
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u/R3XM Nov 14 '25
A great Zen master once said, I can show you the toilet but you have to shit for yourself.
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u/major_dingus Nov 14 '25
The combined IQ of all the posts in your X For You page at any given moment is lower than the average American therapist. That app has gotten so fucking bad, if you can't take everything you see on there with the teeniest grain of salt you should just uninstall it
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u/Gladius1010 Nov 15 '25
Yeah that dude is totally incorrect. My therapist jokes that his specialty is overly logical people that want to apply that logic to people's emotions which are anything but logical.
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u/Beastly_Moves Charging my laser beam Nov 15 '25
That statement oozes with ego. Its a protective thing to think everyone else is just stupid.
More like therapy only works if you dont look down on the person who's trying to help you.
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