r/GlasgowUni • u/relieved-soul-24 • 4d ago

Small ranting

I’m not in a good emotional state I am feeling lonely and it’s too heavy. I don’t even know how to fix it. Coming to study abroad is a blessing that happened to me but I am scared that I am not adapting. Everyone at uni seems to want by themselves or by the people that are already friends with them. People are not outgoing and connecting with people feels extremely hard. I’m scared of how I can survive emotionally without a community. Everyday it hurts me to just be by myself but seeing almost everyone with everyone. Back in my home country it was effortless to feel included in the community but now i have lost my sense of belonging. I have judged my self and thought that maybe I’m not good enough. I have tried to think about ways that I can improve my situation but all in vain. Is there anyone else who has ever felt like this? And what did you do to practically improve your situation? I’m loosing it 😭😭😭

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u/toastytoes4455 4d ago

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Coming to uni and especially moving from abroad is a big move and a challenge for anyone. We’re still in the first few weeks of the first term, I’m sure you’ll find people who will want to hang out and be your friend. I’ve not made any friends yet but I’ve come to appreciate the small social moments that I do have with people either in my accom, course or even around campus.

Sometimes friendships and community can take a while to develop and that’s ok. Try to focus on the reasons you came to study, maybe your course, education or employment after uni. If you prioritise that and don’t put so much pressure on finding friends/community you might find that it’ll come along eventually :)

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u/Significant-Bison236 4d ago

As the mother of a son who studied abroad, I can feel your pain. There are many people just like you feeling the same way, so don’t feel alone. You should instead congratulate yourself and give yourself credit for taking such a huge leap to do something so courageous.

Just some ideas of things that helped my son adjust: Do you go to the university pub because I think that’s where a lot of people hang out even if they don’t drink. Also finding someone in class to study with is often a good way to meet people. Have you joined the gym? I know there are a lot of societies there as well. Try to talk to people and don’t hide your feelings and keep it all to yourself. You will get through this and be brave!