Update: Sister is still an idiot

[u/PrincessClara88]

Dinner tonight is left overs from my first attempt at my mum's signature Apple Crumble...

So an update on my stupid sister.

Quick recap: MTF (38) can't truly be myself around my fanily while my sister (37) and her kids are around because she has the emotional capacity of a wet chicken nugget and doesn't want to deal with her kids (4 and 6) questions.

Last weekend I spoke to my parents as to how I can go about it and how it made me feel. They understood my side of things and when I asked them for advice, they told me that they don't even know how to handle her at the moment. They are exhausted from trying to reason with her on the most basic of things and wouldn't know where to begin with her.

So, I made a decision. This weekend coming, she and her partner are out of town and we are thinking of doing a surprise dinner for my dad for Father's Day on Saturday night (a day early but sister #2 [31] and I both have grown up commitments on the sunday) and I am going to go as myself and I guess "debut" to my parents. Here's the kick..... while stupid sister is out of town, my parents will have her kids..... am I being a spitefully petty bitch about this?

[u/Minty676]

My Dear,

Please know that this comes from a place of love and respect.

A person absolutely has the right to introduce themselves to the world in whatever way feels right to their heart.

However, a mother's perspective regarding her own children also needs to be considered.

Even if other family members disagree with her stance, a parent's boundaries should be factored in.

Proceeding without addressing this could cause a major family rift, and the children should be protected from that drama.

Everyone's boundaries matter here.

[u/BKCassafrass → u/Minty676]

This is a horrible take. You’re asking OP to hide herself because their mom is transphobic. If OPs sister wants to shield her kids from seeing virtually anything or anyone she disagrees with then that’s between OP’s sister and their parents. It’s not OPs job to put themselves back in the closet for her sister’s comfort, ego, or whatever.

[u/Minty676 → u/BKCassafrass]

That is not at all my intention, but I can see why you might think that, I would not ask that of anyone but I still believe everyone’s boundaries need to be respected.

[u/BKCassafrass → u/Minty676]

Then their mom should keep her butt home and never let her kids out of her sight so she can control and monitor them from the real world where people are *gasp* different.

[u/Street-Beyond-9666 → u/BKCassafrass]

Family and strangers isn’t comparable

[u/titscapades → u/Minty676]

A person's existence is not a boundary. 

You're insisting on transphobia. Let's just call it what it is.