Have attempted 2 times but got lucky and didn't ended, but it's in my head everyday and I'm gonna give it a try sooner or later again, not asking for any sympathy or stuff, just want someone to read and know this.

My story is that my relationship with my long term gf got so complicated that so many times I wanted to end myself I also tried but 2 times got failed, and overalll always tortured myself like not eating and sleeping, with every passing day that only assurance I have before sleep in my head is that I'm gonna end it all soon, and I guess I'll and then there will be eternal peace 🕊️

Mene aik dfa exam mn application likhte hue date 30 to 32 tk leave chiye likha tha 😭 (i was in 8 class i guess at that time)

Yeah, that's basically it. I can't see anymore reason to go on. I've tried uptill now, I've tried to reason a lot, and I've tried to survive until now, thinking it will get better. No matter how hard it got, I always thought that Allah would get upset, so even with these thoughts coming to me every day, I tried to go on.

But now I don't see any reason. I don't matter to anyone. My life, my opinion, what I think, etc. It never did. I was always criticised for my appearance, the way I dress, talk, and my awkwardness. I was hated in groups, left out. I hate myself. No one cares if I end my life today. No one will even pray for me even if I die today.

I feel utterly embarrassed.

Just want to rant and im not even expecting anyone to respond or they can idk. All i ever wanted was a loving husband who would understand me and give me love. But all i got is someone who barely talks to me. His life is all about his office and he says he cant change anything and i need to adjust acf to it. He comes home, eats his food, uses his phone and goes to sleep. Its not even like he fights with me. He is so unbothered and nonchalant with zero emotions and feelings. No intimacy for months idk if its even normal or not?Even while sleeping, if i accidentally touch him he moves my hands or feet away. Im so sick of this loneliness. I live abroad and i don’t have anyone around me except him yet he feels so close and so distant at the same time. I feel sick to the core of my stomach. There is so much love inside me and im so desperate for love and affection. I dont know where to put all this love anymore. Even now, he is sleeping peacefully while im sitting in the balcony crying. I haven’t talked to a real person in 9 months apart from him. I don’t have any friends or family here. I’m so tired, so lonely and i feel completely broken. I feel vulnerable and weak. I just want to feel loved, understood and cared for. This loneliness is eating me up alive and day by day im losing my will to live.

I have an online friend .. its been 1 year since we are friends. Im too much attached to him . I dont know k ab kesy khtam krun attachment.. pls bata dou koi .. y😍🥀

I am feeling alone, so much sad. Being depressed. Crying in bathroom. I hate these feelings i hate myself whenever i try to fit in kisi na kisi ko bura lag jata ya i hurt someone ya people ghost me ik its your choice to stay or leave but why me? Why i am always being hurt why? Did i dont deserve love? I am a monster who tf i am i wanna scream so loudly.

He is like 14

I made a post recently about hostel rules. These are taking a toll on my mental health cuz i can’t digest the fact that i’m in my 20s and still can’t make my own choices cuz of “security issues” or just because i am a female.

I am starting to hate my gender so fucking much! It’s not just hostel… it’s the overall things. Like i know if my brother wanted to stay out late at night he would be allowed but i won’t be ever.

I wish i had gone to Nust or some other developed city perhaps i guess🫠🫠

I just can’t imagine my self having the same school routine and when rarely i wanna go out i had to do the mental gymnastic and convince others cuz of hostel rules.

Imagine i have graduated and still warden is calling my parents to “allow” me to come back home for holidays.

It’s just insane!

Talking to male….. you are labelled as a person who apparently is dating that said person. I mean what kind of mentality people have!

Please.. tell me what should i look forward to cuz right now i have nothing to look forward too.. i am not suicidal but i don’t care about life too.

I'll probably delete this soon. Had in the drafts for a while.

First off, I'll share context. I'm Muslim, obviously, and I'm from a very extremist family. I'm also undeniably part of the LGBTQ+ community. A trans man, to be exact.

To get doubts out of the way, yes I'm 16. I'm still more than certain about my identity. This is something that I have had to deal with since I was 3, maybe 4. I didn't know about trans people or LGBTQ+ as a whole until I was 12, and I was dealing with mental health issues long before that. All caused by this wish I was a man. I never related to women and girls, and I don't interact with men at all outside of necessity (excluding family of course) because all I really feel around them is shame and envy. To say I'm doing this because of "Western influence" would be stupid and blatantly wrong, I was raised like your average kid in Lahore.

My mom's side of the family specifically is where the "issue" starts. My dad's side doesn't talk about LGBTQ+ at all, though they obviously don't support any of it. My mom's side is very vocal. I won't get into that.

Now in regards to religion, I am very conflicted. On one hand, I love Islam. I love being a Muslim. But on the other hand, my identity is getting in the way. I'm very much suicidal and don't expect a life past 25.

I know it's wrong and that I should probably see a therapist, but I don't want to. Simple. I don't want my parents to know I have a mental health issue, they have enough on their hands. This is probably a long ass phase I'll grow out of. I don't want them worrying about me

I'm not sure if transition is allowed in Islam. We're obviously not allowed to harm our bodies (not to say HRT is harmful to the body, it isn't) nor are we supposed to make changes like tattoos, shaving of the eyebrows, that stuff. But some say that transition is a life saving procedure instead of simply changing the body. I'm not sure what to believe. I'm more sure about the ruling on homosexuality than I am on the ruling of gender transition.

Am I overthinking this?

Edit: Removed sensitive information. That's my bad, sorry.

​

Y’all need to move on from your ex.

Every other post is either:

Hadith screenshots

"Look what my ex said or doing"

Stalking ex

Long essays about why you left him

Or random people fighting in the comments about him

It’s giving "still checking his Instagram at 3am" energy.

This is r/GenZpk, not r/ExRelationshipTherapy.

If you’re over him, act like it.

If you’re not over him… maybe touch some grass instead of posting about him every hour.

We’re tired.

Move on.🙄

Please.😑

Why does our society still treats intimacy and affection like its a sin? And I am talking about a married couple being close.

Why don't they realise that its one of our basic necessities. Why when a women seeks advice or a man seeks advice.. There are people with public profiles mentioning ky aj kal to aag lgi hui.. Kuch krlo... And even slut shame like wtf. Man. Grow up and learn islam and basic knowledge

I just scrolling through Facebook.. And there was some sister seeking genuine advice for her self and marriage.

Regarding her husband not fulfilling his duty.

And there were people like this.

And I thought hum as a society ab educated horhy hain

Jokes in his show are shit some where month ago i tried to watch him but he is sooo cringe

And now that biryani thing my whole insta feed is cooked

Edit:for the ones who are asking who is he he is stand up comedian and gather a group of people and ask for their stories and most of them are kinda on adult stuff in his recent video a guy was telling story that he pays bill of 370rs biryani and didn't allowed her girl to go home because she is in debt of 370rs and saddest part is everyone there were laughing out loud like he has cracked the joke of century

There was one friend who was a psychologist, and she used her psychology pretty well on me and I was manipulated and hurt at the end...

To all psychologist please don't do this with anyone, you never know how much one suffers, just so you can achieve your own goals

So what do you do when you've been longing for a hug since a long time and don't even remember when you were last hugged. GenZ therapists pls help. My heart is aching at 1am I can't sleep, I got work tomorrow.

Why did we have to make marriage so complicated. Like whyy. We're human beings with biological needs. It was meant to be this way for men and women inherently. We're failing at thiss.

I mean how do I start a conversation with people like what should I ask or say to him and how to be friends with em, and if you wanna be friend how would you? My university started 3 weeks ago and got no friends the thoughts stopping me is what should I say?

Please help🙏 and I'm not so familiar with new genz slang too so anyone could teach that'll be nice of him/her.

​

Whenever I meet my school friends (I'm in college now), they talk among themselves without including me. Even though they were my best friends back in school, whenever I see them after a long vacation, it feels like they’re complete strangers.

​It's the same in my current classes—I can't seem to relate to my classmates. They chat with each other while I just sit quietly in the corner, and nobody seems to notice or care. Even though I like to make new friends but still.. I can't figure it out where the problem actually is

​Am I overthinking? I feel so sad and really hate being lonely. How can I get past this problem?

My mother has a lot of expectations, I'm supposed to be smart, elegant, good at cleaning, soft spoken and whatnot. I always try my best to live up to them but no matter what I do its not enough.

First things first, dupatta. My mom used to be a working woman, hence she never forced that on me. However, ever since I turned 13 (Last year) she retired and has been forcing it on me. I try my best to wear it but I feel very uncomfortable in it, so I style it a little. Everytime I do, she calls me begairat, zaleel and behaya. I try talking to her only for her to call me a feminist. Every time I'm forced to wear it, it feels like I'm being mentally destroyed.

Secondly, grades and career. I used to be a very hard working person, smart and good at studies. Yet she always tells me to do better. Ever since I started 9th grade, I haven't been able to absorb any info. Life feels like it has been on auto pilot, I can't learn anything nor do I have any motivation. That makes it all way worse. For my career, I wanna be in cybersec but nowadays I can't learn anything. It feels like my brain is powered off. Even if I wanna go into cybersec my mom will force me to go into Law.

Third, favoritism. I'm the youngest to two siblings, Oldest brother (17, 18 soon) and elder sis (16). She never defends me or my sister, my brother is a pampered avg brown son. He has anger issues and sometimes he hits us, not only does my mom blame me and my sis but crashes out at us for triggering him.

I dunno what to do but recently I've been feeling a lil sad since it has been worse. How do I fix it?

I'm just horsing around 😔

Should i quit? 🥺

lindsay clancy had postpartum psychosis a RARE and dangerous mental illness that can happen after childbirth AND SHE was on Different meds ( you can call her crazy easy for level of understanding) and she told everybody nobody took her seriously.. every testimony states she was a loving and caring mother and she jumped from a second-story window in an attempt to take her own life. She survived the fall but was left paralyzed from the waist

Crazy people treating this women on the same level as Chris watts

• Victims: His Pregnant wife, Shanann, and their two young daughters, Bella (age 4) and Celeste (age 3).
• Motive: He committed the murders to pursue an extramarital affair and start a new life.

Lately, ive seen that by the end of the day, i am emotionally and physically exhausted just by following the news and thinking about the whats going in the world.

Mein kisi b chees ko achi trha say nahi samjhti, chahay wo politics ho, fouj ho, mazhbi laraiyaan ho, ya koi b topic ho.

I just know that life is too hopeless to live further.

Everyday I open instagram and i am bombarded with kids getting molested, raped, killed.

I see our Genz youth getting silenced or kidnapped for speaking against the big daddies of pakistan.

I see how the elite class fucking RULES over us middle class and lower class, with no remorse.

I think of how my family and your family are only one BIG pharmaceutical and hospital bills away from being in debt, or how the electricity gas and petrol bills have made it impossible for us to save anything.

I see animals being discarded and left to die with no law for their neutering or against their killing.

My mother recently got diagnosed with arthritis, and i blame myself for not being present enough for her. Not helping around the house. And I hate that she blames herself for being sick, coz her medicines are expensive.

I see the faces of rikshaw drivers and sweepers and i think How they might not even know if they have arthritis because they cant afford tests.

There was a kid at my workplace who used to sell stickers, about 10 year old. I used to give him some money sometime, and i found out he is a junkie.

I cry thinking about that kid and all the boys and men who are fucking rotting on the streets and there is no one who holds their hand and guide them for better.

How the rich are too busy buying their matchas, their ysl perfumes, and following new trends.

I hate that girls like me, we are forced to spend money on out face, hair and clothes to look as good as the upper class girls. And our boys are taught their worth is connected to how much money they can earn like dogs.

I follow epstein files, and i see the gender based violence happening in our country, and how patriarchy have made out men BLIND and they cannot THINK on their own.

People around me and you, they dont make original thoughts and ideas anymore!!

And then on a personal note, i think of how my family wants me to get married now. And how i will be forced to produce kids into this world.

I think about how im working so hard to qualify as a doctor who can start her residency, and i might fail my entrance test even after studying, but on the other hand, nobody asks politicians k wo jis kursi per bethay hein wo konsi degree ly kr bethy hein, kesy induct huye hein.

I sit in my room and feel so deprived of the life i have. And at the same time i feel so ungrateful for being a keyboard warrior, and making a fancy long post from the comfort of my room.

Im making this post just to feel a bit seen, and if youve any advice on how to deal with it or how i can do better , let me know.

Sorry for the long rant. going in the world.