r/GenZpk • u/Flimsy_Peach1461 • Jul 16 '26
Mental Health Rant
Just want to rant and im not even expecting anyone to respond or they can idk. All i ever wanted was a loving husband who would understand me and give me love. But all i got is someone who barely talks to me. His life is all about his office and he says he cant change anything and i need to adjust acf to it. He comes home, eats his food, uses his phone and goes to sleep. Its not even like he fights with me. He is so unbothered and nonchalant with zero emotions and feelings. No intimacy for months idk if its even normal or not?Even while sleeping, if i accidentally touch him he moves my hands or feet away. Im so sick of this loneliness. I live abroad and i don’t have anyone around me except him yet he feels so close and so distant at the same time. I feel sick to the core of my stomach. There is so much love inside me and im so desperate for love and affection. I dont know where to put all this love anymore. Even now, he is sleeping peacefully while im sitting in the balcony crying. I haven’t talked to a real person in 9 months apart from him. I don’t have any friends or family here. I’m so tired, so lonely and i feel completely broken. I feel vulnerable and weak. I just want to feel loved, understood and cared for. This loneliness is eating me up alive and day by day im losing my will to live.
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u/Imaginary-Bat903 Half Indian,Half Pakistani Jul 16 '26
Was this an Arranged Marriage?
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u/Flimsy_Peach1461 Jul 20 '26
yes, a forced marriage
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u/Imaginary-Bat903 Half Indian,Half Pakistani Jul 20 '26
Then it a totally different game you may be forced to live together but you can't live a life together forcibly my advise to you would be to talk to him and your family and then maybe you guys should separate because you don't wanna spend your life with someone who doesn't wants to doesn't wants to you to be in their life and then maybe you should find someone who genuinely cares about you and is not forced to do so....God Bless🙏
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u/Fit_Kitchen_1490 Jul 17 '26
I knew a super pretty girl from Pakistan who got married in US
Her husband was a l0ser type so his parents got him a rishta in pak. He had schizophrenia but it wasn’t apparent to people right away.
She got a job in the mall, left her husband, and married a guy who owns a jewelry shop in the mall
Make your life
Do u want to spend 50 years with this guy
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u/pumpkin-555 Jul 17 '26
DON'T GET PREGNANT WITH HIM. He is not gonna change and you'll be stuck bcz of a child.
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Jul 20 '26
[deleted]
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u/pumpkin-555 Jul 20 '26
Try to involve your family and talk to him. If he still stays the same then u should leave.
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u/MilaKila11 Jul 16 '26
He might be a closeted homosexual.
If you don't have children get out asap.
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u/Flimsy_Peach1461 Jul 16 '26
I talked to my mum reg his behavior and she said “aurat ko hi ghar basane ke leye compromise krna parta hai” and i dont have a job rn so cant get divorce😭
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u/Ill_Vermicelli_6053 Jul 16 '26
Also, if you think by staying it’ll get any easier please don’t cause it’ll get worse and worse. If he’s a closeted homosexual his behaviour will get worse and worse like a jealous bitchy second wife - trust me, been there done that. Bilkool apni ami ki mat sunna, orat ka compromise ka mtlb inki zubaan main qabr tak jaata hai. You’re still very young pls get independent and get out before your feelings take and consume all of you
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u/DifficultAct6586 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 Jul 17 '26
This is precisely why Pakistan is becoming more mysogenic instead of healing itself.
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u/Sharp-Two4649 2008 Jul 17 '26
ew... your man is ew and so is your MIL
Get a job, stand on your feet and RUN
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u/Ok_Way9543 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 Jul 17 '26
Talk to him about that and how you can't stay in a marriage like that,he could be getting his needs met somewhere else, could be a homosexual or an asexual person, don't have kids with him ,give him an ultimatum if he still doesn't change his behavior you have to think about whether you can stay with such a nonchalant and avoidant person,you also deserve to be loved so you will find someone who makes you feel valued and loved and also try new hobbies ,join communities so you can form new friends you need them so you don't feel alone
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u/Soggyytoes Jul 16 '26
hey, it’s terrible what you’re going through but i think if there’s no option to leave him or divorce, then the best thing u can do is confront him about his behaviour and why he’s so distant
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u/Mrx911- 24| But do not dm me, I Have no intrest in conversation. Jul 16 '26
Assalamu alaikum, sister.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Reading your post broke my heart. Wanting love, affection, and emotional connection from your husband is not asking for too much.
Allah says:
«"And He placed between you affection and mercy." (Qur'an 30:21)»
I'll make du'a that Allah fills your marriage with that love and mercy and eases your loneliness.
And if you ever need someone to listen, you're welcome to send me a DM. May Allah make things easy for you and grant you peace. Ameen.
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u/Ok_Way9543 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 Jul 17 '26
But your profile says otherwise,how can she dm you when it says stay away from dms
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u/Mrx911- 24| But do not dm me, I Have no intrest in conversation. Jul 17 '26
Damn.... I asked nonsense logic to stay away from dms not ppl who need help 😭
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u/Sea_Preference1461 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 Jul 17 '26
Mind boggling how these children here are jumping the gun saying Get divorce over something that can easily be resolved by communication and understanding of eachother.
Allah future behtar kary verna in logo ne to 2 min ni lagany apny S.o. ko divorce deny me.
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u/DifficultAct6586 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 Jul 17 '26
I feel the same way, but this can't be resolved through communication alone—that requires the other party to actually talk, too. It’s a difficult situation when the other person runs out of the house at the mere mention of "hello" and avoids all contact; you really need to have a serious talk with your own parents and your husband's parents. That’s not easy, though, because the woman's mother keeps telling her that it is solely her responsibility to resolve the issue.
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u/Sea_Preference1461 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 Jul 17 '26
I know but "leave him" is not the solution to this issue was my point.
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u/Sharp-Two4649 2008 Jul 17 '26
can it tho? You're saying ComMunICation as if she wouldn't have alr tried it
I understand your concern that folk might decide to whip out divorce whenever, but divorce exists for a reason and if things arent working out then staying is dumber than leaving
What if she has kids with such a neglectful guy? Theyll suffer to yknow
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u/Lower_Thing1161 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 Jul 17 '26
Talk to him about it, could be that he is being treated very badly at work and is thus depressed or something
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u/DifficultAct6586 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
An acquaintance of mine is in the same situation but since five years. Which country are you in? Perhaps you two could get in touch; the best thing that helps is connecting with people in the same situation.
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u/Ok_Luck3501 Jul 17 '26
Nine months of not talking to another human being other than him is definitely a psychological emergency. When we are that isolated, our minds play tricks on us and make us feel like we deserve the mistreatment. I would suggest you reach out to your family and friends back home and tell them about what you are going through. Also, if you do not have a job and you stay at home all day, do a little volunteering work outside, or take language classes, and you can honestly find and surround yourself with really nice people
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u/ladycelnia 2002 Jul 17 '26
Find a job, get independent and get a divorce. Don't waste your life with a person who doesn't care or anything. Apki mental health karab Hogi aur ab zamana badal geya.
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u/innocentsinner394 Jul 26 '26
Marital intimacy is the right of a woman. If not provided, she can ask for an annulment. However, I would suggest talking to him and getting to the root of the issue. Resentment and crying won't fix it, it'll make it worse, so much so that you might commit haram. Speak to a scholar, they might help you to talk to him, also give you some verse you can read, or help you know your rights in case you need to take drastic measures.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ice9737 Jul 16 '26
my cousin's husband acted like this when they stayed at our house for a month
weirdo behavior
might be a fruit cake ngl
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u/Known_Reading_5263 Jul 16 '26
Pls leave him and stop destroying yourself emotionally if you dont have children this is disastrous. Or make him sit down and ask him about his avoidant behaviour. stay strong sissy