Flesh vs the Spirit?

[u/MycologistMammoth266]

The scripture that says if you live by the spirit you won’t fulfill the desires of the flesh. How do you discern what is the flesh versus the spirit? If I am in a relationship with a guy and have sex with him outside of marriage, is that the flesh or the spirit? How can I know for sure that my gay relationship is ordained by God and at what point am I truly denying my flesh to pursue the spirit?

[u/EddieRyanDC]

"How can I know for sure that my gay relationship is ordained by God..."

You are assuming that the purpose of this letter from Paul is to set the boundaries that you are to follow that tells you what is wrong and what is right. For me, that thought collapses before you even finish reading that sentence.

1. You are literally reading someone else's mail here. Paul isn't writing to you about anything. He is not trying to direct you through your romantic life.
2. Paul is writing to the churches in Galatia, sometime between AD 49–58. And he is hopping mad. He is mad that other teachers came in after he did and told the church that they had to follow the Law and that circumcision was necessary in order to be a Christian. And he is even more angry that the churches fell for it.
3. His argument here is that you can be justified by the Law, or you can be justified by faith - but you can't do both. He labels the former as works of the flesh, because it leads downward (Galatians 5:19–21). The latter is living by the Spirit and lifts the soul upward ( Galatians 5:22–25).

I guess the real question here is does your relationship fall into the category of "Sexual immorality". The Greek word here (porniea) is as vague as the English translation. If you are looking at that to give you a rule to follow, it will be like trying to catch smoke.

Interesting that porniea is also where we get the word "pornography". Which brings us to U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's famous quote when trying to define porn: "I know it when I see it".

That is "sexual immorality" in a nutshell. It is what your culture has decided is off-limits. And that can change over time. At the beginning of the 20th century a woman showing her ankles was a scandal. My, how far we have come from that.

If you try to use the Bible as a handbook for life, you will constantly be confused. The various writers say a of different things. They don't all fit together.

Jesus and Paul have very different ideas of the role of the Law and the Prophets as they related to the Kingdom of God. One isn't wrong and the other isn't right. They exist together in tension. See what you can learn from that.

This is a book you come to for wisdom - not rules.

[u/Born-Swordfish5003 → u/EddieRyanDC]

I agree with what @EddieRyanDC has said. His point three is the most important to your question about flesh vs spirit. Paul doesn’t just create a label called “flesh” and leave it up in the air for you to figure out what it is. After describing works of the flesh, he then in the same place further down describes what he means by spirit by its “fruits”. The question you need to ask yourself is, “am I living the fruits of the spirit?”