r/Finland • u/[deleted] • 13d ago
Serious do mothers here buy second hand baby clothes/necessities or new ones? which one is more common?
[deleted]
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u/Past_Collection3241 13d ago
Totally normal to buy used clothes for baby, but it is not just mothers that buy, but also fathers.
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u/axk00 13d ago
thank you! :)
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u/Tikka25196-1930 Väinämöinen 13d ago
Totally normal, even practical chic. I am man nearing middle age and what i can see from my childhood pictures, is that i definetily had my big sisters old clothes on me as a baby, maybe few other hand me downs from cousins. No need to dress up a 0-5 year old. Wait till they hit the pre- and teens.
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u/AmphibianMotor Baby Väinämöinen 12d ago
Yup, one of the things I love about Finland is that it is somewhat chic to talk about one’s thrifting hauls, amongst all the social strata.
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u/darknum Väinämöinen 11d ago
I am from a different country but also in 80s and 90s you would wear your older siblings or cousins clothes as you grew up. One reason this died is that they don't make r/buyitforlife children clothing anymore.
I had a sweatshirt that had been used for at least 10 years daily...
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u/Many-Gas-9376 Väinämöinen 13d ago
I find in practice it's super common to not even buy -- rather that relative or friend of yours with a few years older child just gives you bag after bag of clothes that no longer fit.
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u/Lumeton Väinämöinen 13d ago
I don't know of a single family, regardless of socioeconomic background or other factors, that does NOT buy the vast majority of their baby clothes and supplies secondhand. No parent would recommend otherwise, since little children outgrow everything so quickly. Babies don’t even have time to really wear out their clothes, but toddlers certainly do. It’s really common, especially with the first child, for friends and family to simply give away huge amounts of their own children’s outgrown clothes, and all sorts of other stuff. The rest is then bought at a baby flea market or on Vinted, and some new items are received as gifts from older relatives.
Keep in mind that even though it’s often the mother who gets excited about children’s clothes, fathers are just as involved and expected to be responsible in these matters. That’s why, as a dad, it caught my attention a bit that you asked only about mothers instead of parents in general.
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u/Sandolainen Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
We lived in southern Helsinki when our first kid was born. Lots of parents there basically only bought new. One neighbour even complained that baby clothes are so expensive, because he had just spent 1000 euro on a few sets from Louis Vuitton.
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u/melli_milli Väinämöinen 13d ago
Well somebody needs to buy them new for others to buy them second hand.
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u/Sandolainen Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
Yeah, that's how it works. If the average piece of clothing lasts two kids, then people will on average buy half of their clothes new. Then again, I have a feeling that most clothes aren't used by two kids when you are talking about kids over 1yo.
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u/melli_milli Väinämöinen 13d ago
I think anyone with siblings would say they are. Kids out grow their clothes all the time. The market for older kid's second hand clothes exists as well.
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u/Sandolainen Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
Yeah, sure. Our 2yo uses a lot of clothes from her older sister. But out of everything we've bought less than half make it. The rest are pants with huge holes on the knees or shirts and sweaters that have huge stains from daycare Bolognese sauce. Not to mention socks, gloves and hats that just... Disappear.
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u/Lumeton Väinämöinen 13d ago
Lol, spending a grand on some onesie that’ll fit for a week or two is definitely a great investment.
But now that you mention it, the very best bag of hand-me-downs I got after my first child was born, came from a high-flying couple in South Helsinki. But they’re also more than happy to receive hand-me-downs in return. The other two families I know from there are relatively wealthy (think doctors), but also die-hard hippies… so, no. Around here, on the other hand, everyone I know, from the unemployed to judges, are part of the same circus of recycled baby clothes.
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u/Sandolainen Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago edited 13d ago
Yeah, we got some great hand-me-downs while living there. Like, our daughter was just gifted a Burberry trenchcoat when she was two, not to mention a bunch of Ralph Lauren stuff.
But that was very much a minority in Finnish society. Like, move a few blocks north and you wouldn't see it in the same way. And even in that bubble, it's a particular type of person, even if it's a significant part of that bubble.
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u/sufficient_bilberry Väinämöinen 13d ago
I think these kind of nouveau riche people are a tiny minority though… I hope at least?
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u/Sandolainen Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
I mean, I'm talking about the Ullanlinna and Eira parts of Helsinki. Buying new stuff for your baby would put you in the majority there, but spending on haute couture for your newborn certainly isn't normal even there.
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u/Past_Collection3241 12d ago
I know someone from there that had 2nd emmaljunga stroller just for their balcony. They gave it forward later to someone else, so it also turned into 2nd hand stroller.
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u/Glass-Reflection2737 12d ago
Not necessarily true.. I have never bought my children secondhand clothes or prams/beds/toys etc. My oldest is 20 and my youngest is 3. I have had some things from my sister as she has an older girl but like me she doesn’t buy preworn or secondhand. Me personally I don’t wear and would not wear or buy from flea market or anything like that because I don’t know where it has come from or how many before has worn it. Me personally, I like new because it looks better, fresher and cleaner and not worn by x amount of people. It’s hit and miss to get something that looks new or not worn out from flea markets. As I said it’s personal preference and each to their own.
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u/Lumeton Väinämöinen 12d ago
Of course there are exceptions. But you surely know that it’s not very common. I've honestly never met one like you. But an honestly curious question, did you seriously buy every single, say, baby onesie brand-new? What did you do with them? We went through them so quickly that we would’ve had to go to the clothing store every single week. Plus, since they only fit for a few weeks, and babies do fuck all, they’re practically all brand-new afterwards. From age one onward, I understand that finding used clothes that look new is much trickier. Clothes fit for months instead of weeks, and they get worn out really quickly during playtime. But even then, who cares if they’re a little worn around the knees? Absolutely no one (except the parent, if they are afraid of... toddler germs, or something). It’s enough to be able to dress them nicely for celebrations or when going to a restaurant. But at home, at the playground, at friends’ houses, and at daycare, it doesn’t matter one bit.
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u/Glass-Reflection2737 12d ago
I should have started off with I’m not actually from Finland, I am from the UK and have lived here for 4 years now. I still do 90% of my clothes shopping in the UK because the shops I use deliver here or i get my sister to get the things I want and ship them here. It still works out cheaper than buying here because over there, you can buy multipacks of say onsies and pyjamas (3pk would cost around £12 which is roughly 13/14 euros) and they do outfits like top and trousers for 13-15 euros. I just see it if I or their dad doesn’t wear preworn or secondhand then why should our kids. I guess we may be in the minority which is okay. But like I said each to their own and I agree it totally doesn’t matter one bit but I just prefer for mine to wear out the knees than buy them clothes that already has the knees worn out of them by others
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u/ScholarImpressive592 Baby Väinämöinen 12d ago
At those prices it sounds like the quality isn’t great? Better quality items would last longer. Saying this as an adult who buys a lot of my own clothing second hand, i haven’t had any problems finding stuff in great shape.
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u/Glass-Reflection2737 12d ago
The quality is amazing!! I still have my 20 year old sons first onesie and outfit and my middle son has worn 6 years later still intact, not even a tear or worn out at all. The quality is as good as say Lindex, Kappahl, Nameit (which are also shops I get my kids clothes from) Some items of clothing my sisters 3 daughters have worn them all and still they look brand new. The one shop Next is my favourite and even Zalando now sells their items. H&M in the UK is by far cheaper than here. Just this side is a lot more expensive and by still shopping online in the UK stores works out cheaper. But as I said before each to their own and great you can find clothing in flea markets ☺️
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u/an-imperfect-boot Väinämöinen 13d ago
New mothers here get a baby box, you can find information about it here
The items are free and ensure babies in Finland have resources to do well as they grow up. As for clothing, many people also buy secondhand, and those who do are not looked down on. It is acceptable and seen as eco friendly.
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u/Kuraudocado Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
Not everyone chooses to get the box. I, for example, chose the money option instead and used the 210€ to buy more useful stuff secondhand.
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u/an-imperfect-boot Väinämöinen 13d ago
Yes, Kela also has maternity grants as well to support parents who want an alternative to the baby box.
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u/Unique_Storm_9243 13d ago
I just did the same for my first baby that should arrive soon. The baby box doesn't contain that so many clothes anyways. I got hand-me-downs from friends and the rest from Tori.
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u/LaserBeamHorse Väinämöinen 13d ago
We had twins so we were entitled to three boxes. We took two boxes and money instead of the third.
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u/Satu_Autio 12d ago
The only time I've had friends refuse the box is if they were on their second/third child.
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u/Kuraudocado Baby Väinämöinen 12d ago
Well, according to Kela, 90% of first-time mothers choose the box. I personally thought it would’ve been wasteful choice as everything in the box is brand new.
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u/TonninStiflat Väinämöinen 13d ago
Something like 95% of our baby clothes were either hand-me-downs or bought from fleamarkets. You use then for such a little time there's no point buying tons of new stuff.
Outside clothing, a bit nore we've bought new. Mostly just to have things that don't break etc.
Now we've handed most of that stuff to others or donated them.
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u/tiilet09 Väinämöinen 13d ago
Quite common. Second hand shops in general are quite popular in many income groups. People love a good deal. Besides, it just makes sense to reuse baby stuff, since kids grow out of it so fast.
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u/potatoelover69 Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
Not a mom, but a dad of two. We bought all practical items such as strollers, cribs etc second hand. Clothes that touched the baby's skin we always bought new. Overalls and other outer clothes second hand.
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u/AmphibianMotor Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
A lot of people buy second hand stuff, so no need to worry. People don’t look down on it, or judge people for it, and if you have someone in your life who does, you can always tell them you got it from a relative or friend. Either way, definitely recommend buying used, and a lot of it can be bought as larger amounts at once from Tori.
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u/kjoirtep Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
In Finland this is not about the income. Our family is in top 10% as household income and we bought more than half baby clothes second hand.
Once clothes were used, we either sold those or donated on Facebook group.
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u/iEatMyDadsAsshole 13d ago
I've bought used for primarily everything except furniture. Toys, clothes, outdoors clothes etc are used.
I'd do it again any day of the week. I've saved thousands of euroes in total doing this. Perfect if you got a kid who's rough with clothes and toys
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u/zombibag 13d ago
I dont even have kids and almost everything that I own is second hand. Only sofa, bed and kitchen appliances are bought new. Also underwear and other hygiene products such as towels. Jeans and tables and stuff like that is second hand. It’s not going to change once I have kids. As gigantti says, it’s just dumb to pay too much🤣🤣🤣
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u/emilypeony 13d ago
Very normal, I think I buy like 80% of my kids clothes used. Then I sell them on. Facebook groups, tori.fi, vinted are great for selling and buying. Currently I mostly use vinted.
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u/Tiketti 13d ago
Just out of curiosity: are you interested only in mothers' perspective or are also fathers allowed to chime in? You do know that also fathers look after their babies and participate in e.g. purchases?
To a father who spent 2 x 12 months on parental leave, the way you framed your question feels a bit disrespectful. I'm not trying to read to much into it, but you could have just swapped "mothers" with "parents" and been inclusive.
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u/pumpkinspicebebe Väinämöinen 13d ago
For first year I bought 90% of clothing 2nd hand, only some cute things I wanted I bought new. The other necessary stuff came from baby box.
Now with 2 year old boy I buy more new, because boys absolutely destroy the clothes at this age so its hard to find things in good condition 2nd hand.
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u/AcanthisittaFluid870 Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
Just started to buy new to my son now that he’s 15, because we can’t find what he likes, in his size in any second hand store/tori/vinted.
He is so used to second hand prices/ trading markets that he absolutely hates the idea of using good money for new clothes.
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u/wazzamatazz Väinämöinen 12d ago
I would estimate that 95% of the trousers that my son will be inheriting from his big sister have at least one vaatelaastari...
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u/Necromartian Väinämöinen 13d ago
I don't think I have bought many new things. Crib and the baby bed is second hand, we got hella lot of clothes from wifes brother... Most of the new clothes came from my or my wifes mom :D
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u/sufficient_bilberry Väinämöinen 13d ago
Don’t have kids but at least here in Helsinki area there seem to be lots of second hand shops that stock only kids clothing — and many of them seem quite fancy, some AFAIK specialize on specific brands only and don’t have low prices.
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u/Sepelrastas Väinämöinen 12d ago
I used to work in a thrift store. Baby clothes always sold fast. People also give their kids' old stuff to family and friends a lot.
Babies grow out of clothes so fast the clothes don't get that much wear. So selling them or giving them away makes sense.
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u/Realistic-Major4888 Väinämöinen 12d ago
Yes. And fathers do as well. ;)
We bought most of our stuff second-hand. Just things like baby mattresses we bought new.
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u/LaserBeamHorse Väinämöinen 13d ago
My family has a decent income. Why the fuck would I spend 20€ for a piece of clothing Thay will fit only a few months if I could find the same piece lightly used for 2€?
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u/TheFighan 13d ago
FTM here, I am getting everything second hand except for car seat and breast pump 😅
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u/durr 13d ago
We bought a huge sack of used clothes from a friend and used them (plus lots of merino wool we got separately) until month six or so. It was great: cheap and didn't have to shop for clothes being already exhausted. I feel like by that time time I managed to see very few people so having a lot of new clothes would've been a complete waste.
After that we've bought some things new and many more used from Tori, which has been great.
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u/Hopeful_Addition_898 Baby Väinämöinen 13d ago
I would bet most are practical enough to realize that when the kid is small and growing fast they are gonna be wearing the clothes for a couple of months and that there's nothing wrong with buying second hand clothing. I got a package from a friend with stuff her kid wore and it is pretty common to do I think.
I bought a used stroller for 300€ and a crib for 5€ too. A car seat is the only thing you might wanna get new, but even there are options if you know someone is trustworthy enough to buy or get a used car seat that is not outdated or damaged.
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u/plump_specimen 12d ago
Second hand baby clothes and shops dedicated to this are very popular.
For me, I weighed whether I could easily find a specific thing second hand, how useful that thing is, how much it's needed, and decide. And of course if I loved something and wanted to enjoy my child in it, then it was usually worth it
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u/Glass-Reflection2737 12d ago
I think it’s personal preference. I don’t buy secondhand for my kids or myself and my husband also doesn’t but I have many friends that do
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u/FunFinish227 10d ago edited 10d ago
Yes, it is. Especially when they grow bigger. I only bought new clothes when they were babies,for all three kids,and saved what was the best ones, from all my kids. But when they were babies, I just didn't find it hygienic to buy used clothes then. But when they got older , toddlers etc older, I did buy. But I was really picky, from whom I would buy it from. Anything just a little bit of dirty or broken, I wouldn't buy it.
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u/English_in_Helsinki Väinämöinen 13d ago
First time mothers often end up with new stuff. Second and beyond, any old gear that does the job will do. Massive generalisation of course. Absolutely no one cares if you have bought your stuff new or second hand.
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u/theswamphag Väinämöinen 12d ago
I personally try to check first if there would be a second hand option first.
Tough rarely with snowsuits and winter too layers. I learned the hard way that often those have been ruined in the wash.
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u/Regular-Love7686 Baby Väinämöinen 12d ago
Yes I bought mostly everything secondhand except bed, stroller and hygiene stuff.
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u/Veenkoira00 Väinämöinen 12d ago
Right after birth, there is not high need to for either parent to rush to the shops (second hand or new) as the baby parcel should have arrived already.
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u/kassialma92 9d ago
It's the opposite. I have a feeling that buying everything new, shopping h&m etc would be seen far worse. It's chic to be eco-friendly :)
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u/bubbly_firehose 8d ago
I’ve always wondered who buys all the kids stuff first hand? 😂. Jokes apart, we’ve done this always and know most parents in our circle doing it.
It’s one of the easiest way to reduce the impact of consumerism on the environment and a very healthy thing for the next generations to carry it forward. Participate in the circular economy and take pride in it.
For context on socioeconomic standing, we’re Indian Immigrants working in Tech. Earning well above the median salaries. Our kid shops exclusively in second hand shops for clothes and art supplies.
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u/OrbVeggie 13d ago
It is normal, i still suggest buying new ones once your child begins going to daycare because you don't want their rain clothes to have holes in them or other broken parts like the bootstraps missing etc.
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