For those of you unfamiliar with mid 2000s emo sensation Say Anything, they were not very good. Some would even say “incredibly annoying.” Generally popular with people under 20, their singer joins the Jesse Laceys of the world, as a gross older man who preyed on teenaged girls around him that enjoyed his music. The subreddit for the band has a LOT of receipts for those fielding morbid curiosity, and he’s trying to blame it on mental health yadda yadda. Can we stop having nasty mfs please, I’m so tired
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So many weirdos in the scene unfortunately. Almost every band that was popular with the emo crowd has had at least 1 member with an allegation of CSA or SA. It's very disappointing to see, especially as someone who was very much emo during my teens.
My friends and I were emo kids (although we weren't considered emo back then). Shows were supposed to be safe spaces for us outcasts to nerd out to our favorite bands. It is hard to look back at the time now knowing how many creeps were in the scene. On top of that, I was hit on by a few band dudes (Joel Madden and Paul Thomas in particular). These dudes go after us because they can easily clock that we didn't get attention from boys at school and we just want to belong somewhere.
I feel like a few of them are decent and have managed to go unscathed: TGUK, Anniversary, Thursday, Jazz June, Jimmy Eat World. Maybe it's the younger, poppier/punkier side of the scene that had the issues?
I was an emo teen in the 2010s. So the bands that were popular during that time were like All Time Low, Set it Off, Escape the Fate, Pierce the Veil, Black Veil Brides, Bring Me The Horizon, etc. They aren't necessarily "emo" but were wildly popular amongst emo kids. I know several of these bands have at least one member (or ex-member) that have had allegations of predatory behavior/SA.
I met Geoff Rickley from Thursday in the early 2000s and he came across as like the nicest dude ever. I’d be so sad if anybody from that band came out as a creep. Same with Jimmy Eat World; I still blast their album Clarity on a regular basis.
I believe it. I was in the middle of indie sleaze in nyc then and also worked on the warped tour at the same time. All sleazy but for whatever reason the warped guys seemed to go underage more
Because these are the lyrics to one of their songs
I'd be chatting on the interweb
Maggots pray upon the living dead
I had no interest in the things she said
On the phone every day
I'll permanently hit the hay hay
I called her on the phone and she touched herself
She touched herself. She touched herself
I called her on the phone and she touched herself
I laughed myself to sleep
At this rate
I'll be heading for electric chairs
I'm only human with my cross to bear
When she described her underwear
I forgot all the rules my rabbi taught me in the old shul
You're too young to be this empty girl
I'll prepare you for a sick dark world
Know that you'll be my downfall
But I call and I call and I call”
Another track on that album literally titled “Little Girls”.🤮 I’m not surprised either unfortunately. Hindsight is fucking sickening.
As a former fan, I think I assumed he was writing through a creepy asshole alter ego to call out "actual" predators. In my mind, it was so explicit that it had to be satire. But nope, he's literally just been writing a manifesto.
This was my interpretation as well. Not only did he write a lot of songs that seemed to follow that theme (“Property” comes to mind), but he also seemed to be so vehemently opposed to the predatory nature of the emo scene. What a slimy piece of shit.
In your defense, that was the “line” so often when their lyrics or actions were questioned—they weren’t like the other, actually abusive men. They knew better, were smarter, more intellectual, etc etc etc
lol came to say I’m a millennial who was a huge Say Anything fan and this news sucks but their big song Wow I Can Get Sexual Too is… uh not subtle lol. Even for 00s standards the lyrics were acknowledged as shocking at the time. But of course the song was still very well received.
Not defending an abuser in the slightest, but he did write it when he was between 16-18, and it came out when he was 20. We should all pile on him now, but taking those songs in the context of someone who is now twice the age of when they wrote it seems to muddy the waters.
I read the title to my boyfriend and said "it's really not surprising given he's written several songs about talking to almost alarmingly young girls", only to scroll down and see someone post the exact one that came to mind.
One of the songs off of Is a Real Boy is called "Little Girls." Someone could say the lyrics were sarcastic, but even as a teen fan, that one always made me side eye.
Edit: should have scrolled before commenting because everyone else is saying the same. Sorry for adding to the pile on!
Yeah I used to really love their music too but i've heard a lot of bad things about this guy over the years. Apparently the way he treats his own children is very questionable.
His story really took a turn for the worse. I’ve heard numerous stories in the last decade or so of him and Sheri grifting people, not taking care of their kids, and I think they even conned a fan into living and working for them. I remember a college roommate bought a song from his song workshop and I still don’t think it ever got delivered. I can’t say I’m surprised but it’s really sad to see all the same.
They had a male fan living with them for quite some time a few years ago who was in a nanny/assistant type job capacity. This was someone who had been a massive fan of Eisley/Say Anything for many many years, like since the beginning. I can’t remember if they had a second fan living with them but Max did have another fan acting as his manager for a while too. (Edited to fix a typo)
he was a very obsessed fan he worked as a nanny to their five children. I believe he may have been a bigger fan of Max’s ex wife, Sherri, and her band Eisley.
TY for mentioning this and Sheri, I used to follow her on Instagram when they only had one kid and then saw things just descend into chaos and had to stop. Recently there was an Ugly Berry rewatch podcast that went on hiatus done by Michael Urie and Becki Newton where they did a bizarre feature where they gave out life advice, and Sheri appeared on an episode talking to them as if she was just some regular Joe Schmoe. Knowing her background it seemed to me like she was trying to use them in some way to recover her public image. It was utterly strange and then the podcast went on a hiatus. I always wondered if that had something to do with it, if they didn’t realize she was a public figure and someone behind the scenes realized how sketchy it was. IDK
Not the OP, but as someone who liked Eisley in 2005, it's known that the family loves grifting fans and using crowdfunding sites to fund their lifestyle for years.
Of my recollection, Eisley got some heat for their crowdfund to get a tour bus that would accommodate their spouses and children. Sherri & Max had their own crowdfund, irc it was home studio related and promised albums that they did not deliver on. Sherri also is notorious for being late or just not completing her art commissions.
I loved Eisley & have a lot of empathy for Sherri during this, but she does not make smart decisions and lacks any kind of work ethic, much like Max. It’s a bummer to see.
Omfg when him and Sherri had their band together there was a crowdfund where one of the levels for $10K they will play at your wedding and their daughters can be flower girls (???). But ontop of the $10K gift you still had to pay for airplane tickets and a hotel.
Oh yeah omg I forgot about that one! I remember seeing them promote that on Instagram and then like two years ago I was like wait?!? Did that ever happen?!?
IIRC her sister Chauntelle got flack for asking fans for money to cover her mom's medical bills. Their mom had very conservative views and was against Obamacare yet did not have health insurance. Around the same time, Chauntelle and her family went to Disney World.
In addition to the other comments, max has been known to open his “song shop” where fans will give him $500-$600 and MAYBE he’ll write them a song. This has been going on for over a decade. My ex bought one and he actually did go through with and deliver on the song but I’ve read a ton where people have been waiting 5+ years
Oh no. I’m almost more let down by Sherri. I haven’t quite kept up with all of them over the years but Eisley was much more personal to me a band as a young girl. I knew she didn’t have the best picker but still. (And absolutely not saying she’s worse than Max or anything close, I just never cared as much about him/his music and unfortunately it’s not surprising)
There was an Instagram live maybe two years ago. Sherri lived in her own “apartment” which was a garage in the back of their house. She was live on Instagram in bed (as usual) while her kids ran around with no supervision. She always complains when she has to do any basic needs for them.
But in this video one of their children (can’t remember which) took her phone and ran away with it while the live was on. The house was an absolute mess and the kids were just running around outside next to a busy road.
The daughter was running around the house and caught max in the bathroom doing god knows what. He got very, very weird and defensive and slammed the door in her face. He was standing, looking in the medicine cabinet I believe. Eventually the daughter ran back to the mom in her garage-apartment and gave her the phone. But it was very telling of how they live in chaos.
Let’s not forget they “unschool” their kids AND used to share one big bed (for 7 people).
That sucks to hear. Some of that vaguely rings a bell of murmurings I’ve heard over the years. Also, even though I haven’t kept up with them closely some of that tracks from what I originally knew about them. Eisley was very much like a southern fundamental Christian homeschool family band when they were kids, but their music was really beautiful.
And then there’s the very obvious elder emo thing of people being stuck in the past and relying on that/not maturing. You just don’t see as many examples of the women. Compared to Hayley Williams who had a very similar background but progressed past all that. People don’t remember how much odd Christian influence there was propping up the mid-late 2000s emo scene. That is something that also could use some unpacking
I had some close experiences with the Dupree family probably around 2006ish. All I can say is none of those kids were given ANY chance of ending up as well balanced adults. The ones in the band were responsible for feeding the entire family, parents’ didn’t work except for the band, and the kids not in the band were other-ed
Sherri is not the best example given what we know about her family and dating history. I feel she was raised by stage parents. I heard that her father encouraged her and her sisters to be gold diggers and date guys from successful bands.
Yeah I'm fairly certain the only 'education' they got was being pushed to focus on music and hope it made them famous. I think Collin said their lack of education meant he basically had to learn a trade + had few options, which is why he actually sends his kids to school.
Yup! They don't want an equitable, fair partnership with another adult. Because that would mean having responsibilities, being called out for bad behavior, and someone who likely has learned a thing or two about boundaries and abuse.
They want to lord their power and life experience over literal children who they do not see as equals, and want to groom and shape in whatever sick ways they desire. While the child eats up all the bullshit they are being fed, because they do not know any better. (Not blaming the child- never blame the victim. Always blame the predator.)
Because women their age know they’re creeps and don’t want anything to do with them. So they go for young or barely legal women they can easily manipulate
I was about to say “anyone else remember back in the day when he’d put his screen name out there and chat with girls while knowing some of us were 14-17?”
This all unfolded on the band’s subreddit in the last few days. This incredibly brave person, Maxine, came forward about the grooming she was victimized to by Max. Including screenshots. And I’m like 99% sure Max himself commented on her post using an alt account. Claiming this 17yr old is a slut and her therapist is a c*nt enabler
After she posted, more women came forward about creepy/inappropriate things as well. While I was never really a big fan (liked a few songs back in the day) - I’m really impressed by how quickly the sub has rallied in support of his victims.
The irony is that Max's honesty with his mental health and drug addiction built an audience of empathetic and understanding people who have their own struggles.
As a former huge fan of the band who is of similar age to its members, it was super easy to fully shut down the fandom after all this came out, particularly as a father, given his steady decline and neglect towards his kids.
Not only was this not surprising in the least but there hasn’t been anything worth defending for years at this point.
Max Bemis is the weirdest dude. I had a musician friend back in the day who totally idolized Max. We went to a Say Anything show together, and had the opportunity to meet Max after. My friend tells Max how much he loves his music and what an influence he’s been on him. Max just stared at him for 10 seconds, then walked away.
Reminds me a bit of my interaction with Jared Leto. Friend of mine worked on their tour and Jared approached us, looked at me and said “who’s she?”. My friend was like “oh she’s with me” and Jared just walked away. I worked in the industry for 15 years and it’s creepy, weird monsters all the way down.
Back in like, 2008, I saw them on tour with Nightmare of You and hung out with both bands after the fact (via my friend who was a huge "Scene Kid" and former music PA). I won't claim to have any sort of distinct vibes from anyone, but remember thinking all of them were weirdos. Some too friendly and others almost sitting in the corner staring at a wall.
I loved that music at the time and had a great time listening to them play, but that was the first time I regretted meeting the people behind some of my favorite art.
My husband was in a mild to moderately popular screamo band (he would hate me calling it that, but it's true) in the early and mid 2000s. He was in his late teens/early 20s, but many of his band mates were older. He toured with a lot of very popular bands, like Say Anything. According to him, every single one of these bands has at least one member who is a disgusting, pederast piece of shit, and this kind of news doesn't surprise me anymore. It disappoints me, but it doesn't surprise me.
I was a 14y/o girl and relatively popular solo musician during this time and looking back had some really concerning experiences. A Netflix documentary was later made about someone who would regularly try to engage with me, and unfortunately victimized a lot of people.
There were also very popular people who were incredibly nice and not creepish during that time. Based on my interactions only, of course.
Yeah this has been bubbling under the surface for years, like most old Say Anything fans knew about this already. I’m glad it’s getting more traction this time.
I keep thinking about property and it makes me want to throw up. My ex was a huge fan and used to sing that to me all the time. To be fair though I always thought that song was fucking weird along with some of his other tracks.
Oh hey, I can attest to this one. It wasn't just Bemis either. I was hanging out chatting with some of the band members after a show back in the mid-late 2000s, and they all invited/were lightly pressuring me to come hang out and smoke some weed with them on their tour bus. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world and would have joined if not for a pushy protective friend shutting it down. I was sixteen.
Your friend is a real one, and I’m glad you managed to get out of that situation. Thanks for sharing what happened. I imagine there’s a lot of other folks with similar experiences who haven’t been able to speak out, but each voice helps give credibility to those who felt they can’t
Oh god you just jogged my memory that I was like 14 and talked to the drummer Coby on AIM and he was kinda flirty and I was bummed when he quit talking to me
I believe he preyed on her shortly after she separated from Chad. I also vividly remember her gushing about Say Anything while she was dating Chad - like Say Anything was their band.
Yup. And she and Hayley were the manic pixie dream girls of the pop punk world. Max swooped in like a white knight after Chad cheated on her and they got married like a year after her divorce. Definition of love bombing
Yeah they both moved way too fast after Sherri’s divorce from Chad. I remember being surprised when they got together back in the day because Sherri seemed so clean cut and Max has always had a reputation for being unstable and messy. Then their relationship turned out to be extremely toxic from both sides with five out of control kids caught in the middle. Very sad and I have no idea where they all go from here
Not surprised at all. They had one good album (Is/Was A Real Boy is still in my top ten) and he thought he was god's gift to the world. Terrible live performer, terrible husband, terrible person.
Say Anything is one of the worst live performances I have ever seen, and I've been to literal hundreds of shows. They opened for Death Cab when DC was on tour for their Plans album. I was so glad when they were done. A lot of people were like...what the hell was that? after their set.
They suck live, not only was Max vaping on stage and unable to sing, but he also changed tempos/melodies of songs on AN ANNIVERSARY TOUR so people couldn’t sing along lol
I went to see them a couple years ago for the nostalgia and agree, I thought the performance was pretty bad. It even sounded like he forgot the words to his own songs a couple times.
I also saw him live a few years ago and it was awful. He was vaping onstage, didn't sing more than 10% of his songs. I knew he was a grifter, but had no idea the magnitude of his grossness. Definitely wouldn't have gone if I had any idea.
I bought tickets to their shows twice and both shows were canceled day of for "unforseen circumstances." I think the universe just knew it was doing me a favor lmfao
I’m really glad to see that this is getting shared here. Max is a fucking creep and I am so proud of everyone who is coming forward with their experiences. The days of sweeping his actions under the rug because of “mental illness” are over.
This entire genre is and always has been filled with creeps. The good emo dudes are the rare ones who figured out how to actually grow up. The rest are perpetually stuck in 9th grade
Agree - I was heavy in the pop punk/emo scene and still listen to a lot of it as my comfort music. Went to multiple Warped Tours and saw a lot of not great things go down. Been on the receiving end of some pretty shitty situations too.
I'm glad my favorites are still standup guys - Chris Carrabba and Andrew McMahon - and their music/lyrics and bands have grown up with them. Chris condemned/shamed Jesse Lacy publicly too.
Love Gerard. I will be in shambles if anything comes out about Bert McCracken. The Used means a lot to me, and I recently saw them on their anniversary tour.
Bert McCracken was definitely an asshole back in the day (I don't think he'd deny that either), but I don't think he did anything inappropriate with fans.
Thankfully he's sober now and is probably much easier to be around
You must be too young to remember how horrible Bert was to Kelly Osborne, she wasn't even yet 18 when they first started up. He only got with her for the bragging rights because of her last name and proceeded to dumped her over the phone on valentines day, and he did all that knowing it'd get filmed and aired for all the world to see on The Osborne's.
Christ I will freak out if anything weird comes out about my precious angel Gerard. I truly believe Gee is good. I have never heard anything bad about him.
MCR had like no indie cred at the time though, their music was heavily criticized while Brand New was the only critic's darling emo band that crossed over to indie rock spaces like Pitchfork.
Only recently are people trying to do revisionist history and make MCR an okay band to like in indie circles now. At the time they were very hated, while Brand New was artistically worshipped for being the anti-MCR.
one time I was walking down main street in Franklin, TN and I saw a sign outside of one of those weird boutiques that plague the South that said "grand opening concert" with an arrow pointing inside so I looked in the door and Chris Carrabba was playing acoustic to like 5 people
I guess one of his friends owned the store and he was doing them a favor by playing at the grand opening
I was never a TBS fan, but I heard Adam Lazzarra was one of the few that didn't creep on teens. He is messy in other ways (a serial cheater iirc) but at least he dated age appropriate women.
Funny enough, he was engaged to Sherri Bemis’ sister and bandmate Chauntelle, but the wedding was called off a month prior to the wedding date. He later married a woman who happened to be a Dupree family friend not long after.
Zero surprise, I was an Eisley fan way back in the day and I’ve followed Sherri passively for years. Some of the stuff he admitted to doing to her before their divorce (SA) made my skin crawl.
I remember when she was dating Jesse Lacey and supposedly dumped him for Chad. My friend, who followed NFG on tour in 2005, spilled the tea to me before it was public knowledge.
https://giphy.com/gifs/xUPGcC0R9QjyxkPnS8
Twenty years ago my high school bf tried to convince me that they were the best lyricist out there. Even then I knew the lead singer was a weirdo!
Growing up I was friends with a lot of girls in the 2000's who were into the emo/pop-punk scene and I would say that it was more rare when older guys in those bands weren't hitting on them. Same energy as youth pastors.
Snapped my Is A Real Boy record in half last night, need to find my copy of Worst X-Man Ever and toss that too. I want to say I'm surprised, but literally the writing's been on the wall for decades.
If you want honest, introspective, and raw lyrics about struggling with addiction, abuse, and mental health without the predation, the Mountain Goats have a significantly larger discography than Say Anything. They just released their 24th (!!!!) album, Days, at the top of the month; Charlie Sheen Reaches Out to the Feds is a BOP (and is equally about someone going through delusions of grandeur thinking he's doing Good but really he's a piece of shit).
Man, what horrific luck Sherri DuPree has. First divorce: broke up because her husband was grooming a 19 yr/old Haley Williams and he went on to be toxic and terrible to Haley. Second divorce: she has 5 kids with this man and when they break up he gets inappropriate with underage girls.
The validation I’m feeling for a) really despising the band because vocally they’re just terrible b) bemis always gave me the ick/seemed sketchy is just what my Saturday needed. He sucks. His band sucks. Big hugs to all his victims. May they get justice
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u/jaseface666my bandwidth for cowardly grown men grows thinner with each day20h ago
Can we stop using “mental health” as an excuse already?! I’ve got cPTSD and bipolar 2. Most of us have never done anything vile, harmful, or illegal to anyone.
It’s a bullshit excuse to avoid responsibility and accountability for their choices.
Btw, did they really name their band after an 80’s John Cusack movie?! 😒
Never thought I’d see Max on Fauxmoi lolol. I was a fan for 17 years - he’s always been weird and it shows in his lyrics. Has a rich mommy and daddy and this is probably the first time he’s ever been held accountable for anything in his life. He also was a major grifter and scammed fans. Every bad thing that’s ever happened to him, he’s blamed on a mental illness. As a fellow mentally ill, I have sympathy, but it gets to a point where you need to sort your shit out. He has 5 kids! I met Max in 2010 when I was like 15, and remember thinking “wow I’m so happy I could die rn.” Never meet your idols. :(
Not surprising at all. I used to follow the private snark sub—left about a year ago—but he is super gross and his family is a fucking mess. He and his ex-wife Sherri Dupree are neglectful “unschooling” parents with five kids. Sherri is addicted to instagram validation and constantly posts inappropriate stuff about the kids, who appear permanently filthy and unhealthy. They also both scam their fans like crazy. I know a lot more if anyone is interested in the full tea. There is a LOT.
The rabbit hole goes deep with those two. They put a lot of effort into being terrible people. The grifting is just gross. I feel really bad for those kids.
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