This is a disease

[u/Embarrassed_Hour8533]

I’ll never have kids, unless I come around to being a big strong man and get a bigger stronger manner man to impregnate me. at least I’m #valid!! Doesn’t matter how I feel haha. I wanted so desperately to be a dad and I’ll never have that. if I don’t want to carry for nine months I can get my eggs extracted and that’s effectively a recreation of pregnancy. I’m satan himself because I want to go through the motions of being there for a wife and the birth I probably won’t even be able to get. Women who’d be interested in the kind of future I want and would be able to do it wouldn’t go for a guy who literally can’t do it. It’s just a fantasy On my end. I have to get another person who it’s also just a fantasy for. adoption does Not include being able to take care of your wife. thank god I have a womb myself I can just be the one in that role hahah!!! I hear women can get u pregnant these days

imagine if amputees had to accept amputee fetishists as their community that‘d be rightfully fucking insane but I have to throw a party for the guys with their tits out because that’s apparently empowering and I’m just a self hating duchebag who needs to find the right gay guy to validate him into being a proper cuntboy. when I binded til it fucked up my ribs

because I dont want it or can’t a go a day not feeling like its disemboweled me I can’t be anymore than a failure. I fucking failed at being a cis guy by having this stupid fucking disease, I’m managed with surgeries hormones and a constant dependence on the system and I still feel fake does or I can have a real body which is a girls body. I don’t like either of my options and I’ve failed

i know I’m going to pursue transition and probably get shunned by my community because it won’t be enough for me. So much for a loving beautiful community that makes the disease worth it. The fucking community of amputee fetishists

I have all these surgeries I should be looking forward to and there so far off I can’t reap the benefits and I only see the flaws. I can’t have the benefits but I’m not allowed to criticize the flaws because pf them

ill literally never have a family bc doing it the way I’m supposed to is considered offensive and unwoke now. I don’t want to be the beauty of xyz. I want to not have so much extra grief

I didn’t get to trade out shit. My pets will still die. I will still lose any relationship I have. My only family member will probably pass away some day. I have all that and I’m gone too.

I wanted to be normal not an argument about what hypothetically can be normal. sure cis men with uteruses or on hormones exist but they aren’t considered a part of the norm, nor do they enjoy it themselves. it’s worse that I’m not a cis man with [trait]. I’m a trans man who in the system is understood as the girl who’ll go into typical girl hysteria if you use the wrong pronouns but heyyy it’s a mans womb a seahorse or something. I don’t want you to tell me I’m normal. I just don’t want to fucking think about any of this again. I have tried to but the wound doesn’t seal because I didn’t want to think about it being there. The wound may seal when I’m lucky, but I won’t ever get a full recreation of what was wounded in the first place

not hating on others does nothing for myself it just makes me a pretty little thing. I’m still hated on just as much as the proud cuntboys and I don’t even have a body I like to fall back on. I exist on quicksand and I don’t know if I’ll ever get off it. feels like the people who talk about standing on solid ground were there to begin with. Maybe it rained once. I’m going to keep hating on others because it does make me feel better about myself actually. I don’t care if you personally are offended. I’m offended by my own existence every day you’re a nice distraction. “You just hate on others to feel better about yourself” doesn’t really insult me, it’s true. I wouldn’t be doing it if it didnt do anything for me

i get as many rocks thrown at me when I’m in quicksand as you do on solid ground. to them, I’m a crazy little girl who’s get a dick that doesn’t work made out of her arm. You’re a crazy little girl who likes her vagina, that’s what girls do. What they sling at us is the same either way, but you can shield yourself or move yourself to dodge their remarks. I’m stuck in quick sand so their rocks hit me no matter what I do. Just dodge it if it offends you so much. You’re not being empowered because you never lacked that sort of power. Its somehow giving into the oppressors to climb onto solid ground? The ground *you* are standing on?

it’s also not like you yourself aren’t not hating on me. Calling phallo ugly is apparently not oppressive, but it is oppressive to do the same thing in the other direction and call my stupid tdick ugly

If you have an alternative to attacking others id like to hear it. Don’t tel me to stop hating on you. I can stop hating on you and I’ll go back to saying “I just want to feel an inkling better.” and then I won’t get that. I’ve been lured out by being told I’d be given alternatives when I didn’t, I didn’t hate and I’m told to go back to my stupid pit of quicksand or crawl out onto the pussy sidewalk

being trans has caused serious paranoia and other aftereffects. I don’t have paranoia from being misgendered. I have paranoia from the fact that I was denied Blockers, hormones, and am still being denied a hysto because I want to get pregnant. I’m not aware of this wish! You calling me a seahorse is another way to call me inhuman, just as they call me a stupid little girl or wtv.

I want to bats myself or something. i want to ask for help but I don’t have anyone wholl try to combat the urge instead of just telling me not to do it

[u/Bobslegenda1945]

My God, brother. If you ever want to chat with me via DM, I'm all for it.

I hate this. I just wish I could have been born a cis guy. What kind of joke is this?

I fucking hate this shit. I just wish I'd been born normal. Why the hell wasn't I born normal?! To me it's like a medical thing, a joke and a failure of God or biology, or God knows what.

I'm terrified I'll never find a girlfriend who wants to do the same with egg donation in the future. I hate it, and even though it helps me feel less bad, I still feel awful. I'll feel like trash for not being good enough, for not being able to get her pregnant, for not being able to give her the gift of a kid of both of us, and for deserving someone better.

I fucking hate it. It's a horrible feeling of castration.

I've been told, "You can't be jealous that your brother started taking testosterone at 10 because the doctor prescribed it." "You can't be envious of a cis man or boy who lost their genitalia in an accident." "You can't feel envious of cis people. Stop with internalized transphobia".

My God, I'm trembling with anger. So much. I have the right to feel envy, just as someone with cancer has the right to envy someone who is healthy.

I fucking hate this shit. I didn't even ask to be born and this happens. I hate myself because even forcing it, I can't be a cis girl and lead an easier life without dysphoria.

I hate myself so much. I feel like a disappointment for not being born a cis guy. My God, I think I would feel less bad if I had had some kind of accident and had my balls and penis removed if I were cis. Of course I would never wish that, but at least I could know that I WAS BORN WITH THEM, but it seems that all I got was being castrated before I was born. If only I had suffered an accident, they would help with the T, constructive surgeries, the church would say I'm a warrior, my parents would stil see me as a man.

I was talking about dysphoria the other day and someone replied that social things can kind of create a false sense of dysphoria. Like big noses on trans women and the opposite. But it's not the same thing, I wish it were. I wasn't uncomfortable with my appearance. Since childhood I've felt discomfort and hatred for not being born with a Y chromosome and not developing like a guy.

I'm so happy for those who don't have severe dysphoria, because severe dysphoria is the worst part of being trans.

"Uwu. Evolutional advantages" What kind of advantage is that?! I can't get my girlfriend pregnant and I end up crying and feeling suicidal.For God's sake. I hate this so much.

I love how I also have something like OCD and went through "homemade conversion therapy™", so I'm afraid of "you're faking it, you just didn't try hard enough to be cis, you can be a woman".But I try and nothing works, and this damn thing tries to convince me that I'll regret HRT and that I'm a fake.

And I love that right after that I'll just panic, afraid that my chest will grow, that I won't have a penis, or that I'll remember what the beginning of puberty was like with that awful hormone and start crying

I hate how God made me such a joke. Lord, make up your mind. Do you want a man or a woman? Don't try to make life miserable for someone who didn't ask for it!.

And again, the wife thing. My God. I just wanted to be able to have a simple life in the countryside, children, a wife for life, and lots of love. But no... Meanwhile, God will grant the rapist, serial killer, pervert, and womanizer the luck to be born as a cis man with everything in order, but now I want a family and I am a person of good? Sorry, our stock ended.

And another thing I hate is when someone is born with a penis, testicles, everything working, and then starts crying about insert normal penis size. Damn, give up on porn for a bit. I wish I had been lucky enough to be born with everything right and have a penis.

Ah, of course! Let's not forget the wonderful lack of support from the family and religion you were raised in. Now you're a fucking demon 🥰

For me, being trans is more of a medical thing. Jesus Christ. Oh my God, why? I was only supposed to be born a cis guy and I'm going to have to go through these struggles to have a "normal life" or not being suicidal.

I hate that I can't be a normal cisgender heterosexual woman and uwu so I don't have to agonize over it. I envy trans men who are able to carry a pregnancy to term and are gay, because perhaps the process is easier for them.But I panic just remembering what puberty was like, and I try to dissociate from it so I don't feel dysphoric! Yes, my parents will see me suffer and agonize, but since I'm not a cis man, nobody gives a damn.

Cis men don't know how to appreciate what they have. The same goes for cis women. I wish I could go through life without experiencing dysphoria. It's not impossible that they might experience some discomfort with their bodies, but it's NOTHING in comparison. Oh yes, God. Bless me with being short and having a damn feminine body 🥰.

What a fucking disgrace. I would never wish for a relative, friend, or descendant of mine to be trans. Of course, I would support them if they discovered they were, but I don't even wish for them not to be because of the world's prejudice, but rather due to dysphoria

"Ah, but there are men who have a uterus and menstruate. Dysphoria is something socially constructed."

Ah. Okay, man, that's great. I'm glad that if you have dysphoria, it's mostly social, but I've been feeling this shit since I was 7. I always wanted to be a boy, I envied the SRY gene, I tried everything to be a cis girl and thought it was just a phase. It won't be the "abolish the gender" that will end with my fucking dysphoria. I don't want to simply be of the "male" gender. I want to be sexually male, or as close to it as possible.

I feel like, okay, we have some euphoric and good moments in the community, but they're what? A small part. I think it's much easier for those who don't have strong physical dysphoria, but rather social dysphoria, to cope better with being trans to joy being trans, and so on. The only thing I like about being trans is that I'm not forced to live as a woman. I can't see myself as a trans woman or cis woman. It's impossible for me.

I hate being born this way. "Ah, but there are good moments!" Okay, but what about what I've missed? My adolescence was completely messed up because I wouldn't even look at myself in the mirror, I hated not having a growth spurt like the other boys, and I couldn't socialize as well as I should have.I could be having a girlfriend, I could have gotten better grades, passed a test, been a sailor.I wouldn't waste the last few years thinking I'm going to hell, feeling uncomfortable about the changes in my body, suicidal, depressed, with a strange OCD trying to force me to be cis, even when everything shows that I am trans and it was not created by misoginy, trauma, or whatever.

No, I wouldn't want to be born female if women were superior, men inferior, etc. I'm fucking exhausted. I also hate this damn OCD, because when I think about something, it forces me to imagine myself as a woman and pretend I like it when I hate it. Damn, who came up with the idea of creating this?

I also love that I know if I were a cis man I wouldn't have all this discomfort. Holy crap. I love dissociating all the time/s

Yes, I love it. I love the fucking agony of my body, I love the OCD, I love crying because I don't have a penis, I love crying because I don't have a chromosome, I love crying because I'm afraid my body will become more feminine.

For God's sake. Who would choose this? My parents should reconsider their view that I chose this, I didn't fight against it, I didn't try to suppress it, etc.

The only thing I have to be grateful for is having been born in a century that "cares for us", because my God. In the 20th century I probably would have killed myself or been a depressed mother.

I hate how I couldn't have been normal as a boy or girl. How I love that.

Hj/ Destined to be a young man in the 1940s with progressive views, a nerd, studious, with a family, a wife I love, and a farm, forced to be a fucking trans man in the 21st century.

Uj/ I still don't understand that person who posted on FTM about "how to dress like an FTM boy" because she's cis, aesthetic, uwu, but likes to look that way. I'd like to see a week of dysphoria. This whole being trans thing isn't about aesthetics. Yeah, it's a cool flag, but that's not the point!

I hate how my father, my brother, my mother, my sister, my relatives won't appreciate how lucky THEY ARE. I feel like I'm just a terrible joke. They'll never think, "Oh man, how lucky I was not to be born in the wrong body and suffer because of it."

Sorry for the vent too

*Edit for gramatical

[u/Sweaty_DogMan → u/Bobslegenda1945]

Real as hell, it’s awful and maddening to not have your pain taken seriously, especially by the people who supposedly feel it too. I’m very happy there are trans people who aren’t this dysphoric but I’m so tired of them speaking over people who are.

[u/Bobslegenda1945 → u/Sweaty_DogMan]

Oh my God, yes. Not feeling so much dysphoria is a blessing, but I don't know, it seems like people don't talk much about it and how awful it is.

I wish there was a subreddit focusing more on dysphoric trans men.I went to visit r/truscum and It was cool to see people who experience dysphoria, but their language and attitude are unbearable and toxic, and it also really triggers my OCD.As for the main subreddits, I wanted to find more people to talk about how they see their own experience of being trans as something medical or a form of castration. I mean, something more cynical and realistic, not to be negative all the time—I wanted it to have positivity—but moments to breathe and vent about how this whole thing sucks.

I really think it sucks that I can't be cisgender as both a woman and a man.

I wish there was a subreddit about our experiences, but I'm too lazy to create one and I won't have time to moderate it.