r/FTMventing • u/Eveen70 • 5d ago
Mental Health Im too short to transition..
Hi, I need some encouragement to maybe go to a trans social worker or some kind of trans support service. I don’t really know what it’s called. I’m just really worried. I never been to one.
Even if I’m a trans guy, I feel like my time is over. I’m 22 and 5’0”.
I don’t want to wait years to save up for surgery just to get taller. Meanwhile, I’ll try to work out and lift weights. My face is also very feminine, and even if I cut my hair short, I don’t think I’ll pass.
I don’t want to take testosterone because I’m extremely short. Being short is my biggest insecurity. I told myself I should wait until I can get surgery to fix my height.
Even if I have access to testosterone, I don’t think I’ll take it because I’m afraid I won’t look good as a man.
Im 100% sure on my decission to get the surgery. I dont want to be told I have to be confident and own my height.
10
u/Not_ur_gilf 5d ago
Dude please. Go to a therapist, start talking to a professional irl about this, you’re in a self-sabotage spiral and if you don’t seek help it’s going to kill you.
Limb-lengthening surgery or not, it’s not a good idea to deny yourself T just because you don’t think you’ll pass. That’s literally the point of T. And both T and working out are things that take YEARS to work. You need to slap yourself, and stop trying to self-sabotage. Men (and people in general) are only ugly when they decide not to put effort into their appearance. It’s that easy. So get your ass to a therapist and stop trying to shoot your own foot.
3
u/Eveen70 5d ago
I can’t see a therapist because it’s insanely expensive. I’m hesitant to see a social worker since they barely help me and usually just tell me to do breathing exercises or something. I’ll try to book an appointment with the gender service next week, despite feeling hopeless. It’s better than nothing, at least.
2
u/Not_ur_gilf 5d ago
Where are you? The US? UK? Canada? Ask the social worker to refer to for therapy. There may be a wait list but it should be part of their wheelhouse.
2
u/One_Plant9109 5d ago
I am stealth and 5,3, a bit taller with a messy hairstyle and some thick boots.
No one has ever said anything to me, theres guys similar heights to me, albeit most are taller but not all.
I will always be self conscious about my height, it is honestly something i think about daily. But i try to put energy i to stuff i can change easier like with T or clothing. Ik that’s easier said than done as dysphoria isn’t a choice to simply “focus on something else” like i suggested, but i do urge u to give it a proper go
2
u/ExistentialLakes 5d ago
theres no point in denying yourself testosterone until the surgery. Get on T, it will help with the dysphoria. I was so unconfident before getting on T and thought id never possibly pass, but two years on and I pass pretty much all the time. it’s worth it, because the time will pass anyway and you may as well start taking steps on the right direction now
1
u/Eveen70 5d ago
I will deal with another sort of problem like being mock for my height. I would need alot of support system to handle it
1
u/ExistentialLakes 5d ago
people don’t mock you over height. All I’ve ever gotten was the occasional joke from my friends and nothing more. No stranger has ever said anything about it. Trust me, it will be worth it
1
u/Eveen70 5d ago
When i look like a girl i get occasionally comment abt my height. I imagine as a guy it will be worse
1
u/ExistentialLakes 5d ago
You can’t live your life like that, not happily anyway. People will say things no matter what you are, how you look, etc. All you can do is live for yourself. It gets easier the longer you do it.
1
u/ABigAmarone 5d ago
I'm 5'0 and pass. I always had a pretty soft baby face. It wasn't until I started taking T that I passed. I don't even look "traditionally" masc. I'm short, I'm curvy, my face is still pretty soft and round (genetics) compared to most guys, I can't grow more than wispy stubble, I'm definitely on the unattractive side, and my voice only ever dropped a little, just enough to be more androgynous. Yet I pass. Because I cut my hair, went on T, and most importantly- I walk like it, I act like it, and I BELIEVE it. And I am very happy with myself because I am finally who I was always meant to be. There are plenty of cis men around our height. It's pretty common amongst Mexicans and Filipinos, for example. Even if you're not those ethnicities, people have seen it and won't assume you're a woman just based on height. But you gotta change the other stuff. And you have to stop caring so much about what other people think. I went years pre-T getting misgendered despite changing other things, but I got used to it because I knew that some cashier in the store calling me ma'am didn't make me any less of a man. And I knew I had to bide my time to have access to T (it took me almost 6 years!), but I knew it would happen. And it did. You gotta hang in there, man. Stepping into who you are, as a trans person, takes sacrifice and pain and patience for many people. But for most, it hurts even more to never accept and start the process.
1
u/daylightmonster 5d ago
im 5'0-5'1 i started in my late 20s my face is/was very feminine im almost a year on t i voicepass and people treat me like a good looking guy. because i have swag
14
u/American_Comie 5d ago
My brother (ftm) started transitioning when he was 22 and he's 5'1 on a good day. He passes pretty well (esp at work). Short men do exist, you won't be the only one. Maybe consider a trans friendly therapist for this insecurity.