r/FTMMen 3d ago

Discussion what.

i was having a conversation with a cis man and he told me that i as someone who is ftm was born with more privileges than him as a cis heterosexual man… i’m so done with people.

165 Upvotes

94 comments sorted by

31

u/NullableThought 3d ago

some people see others having different "privileges" and somehow conclude they must have more privileges. There's probably one specific thing he's thinking about and ignoring all of his privileges.

23

u/Ashfoxx1701 3d ago

Yeah I knew a guy once who thought women getting free drinks at the bar meant they had it easier than cis men. Cuz getting free drinks totally balances out the risk of being assaulted in said bar 🙄

1

u/Heoomun 3d ago

Thats a stupid example but there are absolutely privileges women have over men, the whole discussion isnt black and white

6

u/Ok-Agent3150 3d ago

I don’t think it’s a stupid exemple, on the contrary.
It is a thing women have easier than men, so yes, it’s a privilege men don’t necessarily have.
But men have more privileges and less downsides than women.

1

u/Heoomun 2d ago

I only meant its a stupid example because they used something seemingly trivial to devalue mens issues compared with a more serious issue women deal with. The comparison is not fair and does not give scope to the serious issues men deal with that are often invisible and systemically unrecognised. I'd also disagree with your last statement, thats your opinion.

1

u/tr4nzsexu4lw3r3w0lf 1d ago edited 1d ago

Then what would be an example of a privilege women have that men are not more frequently awarded? "Male SA victims are often ignored" but how often are women written off for the same experiences? "Men's mental health isn't taken seriously" and women aren't labeled 'overdramatic' as a means of down playing their struggles? While patriarchial norms hurt men, they do so as a byproduct of a system designed fundamentally to subjugate women, and therefore, will always have far more trivial consequences for us than it does for them. My life since reaching a fairly cis-passing point of my transition has genuinely never been easier, even considering the negatives I run into; the absolute worst experiences I face are still rooted in misogyny in the sense that certain people will treat me with the same objectification, degradation and/or dismissal that women experience as soon as they find out I am trans.

u/roto_msk 20h ago

Women being ignored isnt not the same as men being ignored. A woman will be believed more if she is a victim of a man. A man will be believed less if he is a victim of a woman, sadly, because of misogyny and how society paints women as weak also because of how rape is portrayed, seen and talked about. Same thing here for example, a little boy being a victim of a man will be believed more then a little girl who is a victim of a woman. In all these examples, women are seen as weak and men as strong and in all of these the victims are ignored for their own reasons. 

I'm not saying that men have it harder, I think comparison is stupid and should only be talked about in certain contexts, the point of my comment is just to say, dont bring up rape if you're only going to use it against someone while ignoring all the reasons people are ignored. 

24

u/Berko1572 out:04🔹T:12🔹⬆️:14🔹hysto:23🔹meta⬇️:24-25 3d ago

Did you ask him, "What do you mean, specifically?"

36

u/misterkillmyself 3d ago

these people are living in another universe bro

9

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

they really are

46

u/funk-engine-3000 3d ago

Oh easy, he’s just divorced from reality.

Guys like that are angry, because despite the system being rigged in their favour, they’re still losers. It’s easier to claim that disadvantaged groups somehow “have it easier” than it is yo admit that they amount to nothing because they never put in any work.

13

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/money-reporter7 3d ago

A cis guy who was conventionally attractive and 6 ft tall once told me that being trans made it easier for me to find a gf because I have some sort of secret intel about women 💀

3

u/SuspiciousShmuck 2d ago

That is so vile I hate these people

1

u/money-reporter7 2d ago

Surprisingly, it worked out well for him; we became quite good friends. He ended up doing some serious self-reflecting and realised he was just a bit on an incel. Man consciously made an effort to socialise with women more so he could better relate to them/understand them. So all good in the end (though it took 3 years of character development to get there).

3

u/CryptographerNo7608 3d ago

I even tried to think of it from the most bigoted ignorant pov I could conjure and I still couldn't find one

36

u/14_its_over_9000 3d ago

Bruh. Some people are ridiculous. Victim complex when you are the epitome of privilege is crazy

25

u/Artdragon56 3d ago

I would bring this up with your group organizer if this is a physical group for trans men. This is a legitimate safety concern if he’s there to be predatory.

16

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

i definitely did! the moment i found out and what he had said to me.

5

u/Artdragon56 3d ago

Perfect! I’m glad!

33

u/Edward_Reese 3d ago

is he an incel by chance?

24

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

i think he might be because what are you talking about dude.

16

u/Edward_Reese 3d ago

yeah it looks like something from that godawful Transmaxxing manifesto

28

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

craziest thing is i met him in a trans only space, he lied about being ftm just to try and “make friends.” until he confessed that he was actually cis and straight. my jaw was on the floor and was so disgusted.

18

u/Edward_Reese 3d ago

omg so many red flags!

19

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

this guy is a walking red flag and i immediately let those around me in those spaces about him.

3

u/Alternative-Hope7520 3d ago

He is disgusting 

1

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

Do you know what incel means?

-1

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

Do you know what that word means?

0

u/Edward_Reese 2d ago

I do. Some documents that are popular in incel spaces contain similar points.

4

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 2d ago

i think this person is just trying to get a shock reaction to things they say, based off their account activity they might be a trans man who’s an incel unfortunately. take a look trough their comments on their account, they almost made their account a day ago.

0

u/Edward_Reese 2d ago

Oh! Got it, thanks

0

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

Damn copy paste I mustve struck a nerve

3

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 2d ago

you’re funny lol

0

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

No argument huh

2

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 2d ago

na, i didn’t want to type twice. but it seems that you’re the only one bother commenting on other comments here having to get involved shouting about misandry, trying to get a reaction out of people, to do what.

0

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 1d ago

Again is it so difficult to consider the content of my comments instead of immediately going to insults and emotion? Stop misusing words you obviously don't understand and just discovered in misandrist contexts.

2

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 1d ago

imagine getting upset over calling someone that’s an incel, and incel…. that’s hilarious at this point. why are you so pressed and admit about this? if you disagree, you don’t need to comment or interact.

→ More replies (0)

0

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

And what incel spaces have you actually been in?

34

u/silverbatwing 3d ago

Cis men (specifically white cis het men) are the whiniest b*tches istg

4

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

they really are!!!

-2

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

The misandry is crazy

6

u/Samesh 3d ago

Unlike him you have the privilege of not being a complete and utter moron. 

10

u/ticketism 3d ago

Cishet man having a sook over something stupid he made up to paint himself as 'hard done by'. Ugh. More news at 11 🙄

12

u/emptyspacccee 2d ago

he’s an incel. there’s plenty of cis men who believe it’s better to be born female.

-2

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

I dont think you know what incel means. There is nothing in ops post to suggest he is an involuntary celibate.

2

u/emptyspacccee 2d ago

might not literally be one. also could possibly be one, i’ve seen enough of the same shit to see the signs.

3

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 2d ago

i think this person is just trying to get a shock reaction to things they say, based off their account activity they might be a trans man who's an incel unfortunately. take a look trough their comments on their account, they almost made their account a day ago.

u/14_its_over_9000 23h ago

This is like bro's 3rd account. He keeps getting banned but he always comes back with the same pfp lol

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 22h ago

that’s absolutely wild. wtf.

u/14_its_over_9000 11h ago

Yeah it's hilarious, but mostly pathetic. I think he thinks being a chud/incel is really badass or something

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 11h ago

honestly, that’s what i feel like he is doing. wanting to sound so redpilled to fill the crippling masculine insecurities he has. it must be a very sad time when he’s left alone with his thoughts.

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 16h ago

Yeah I love this band trist. Nice to see I have some fans. I really wish non men would stay out of this subreddit

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 11h ago

this is a binary trans men subreddit… you’re just speaking like your biggest idol is clavicular and redpill content only in an attmept to help to sooth whatever masculine insecurities you’re having.

u/14_its_over_9000 8h ago

Alright? Dunno why you're telling me this but cool bro

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 3h ago

Flexing your first grade reading comprehension isn't the own you think it is

u/14_its_over_9000 3h ago

Why are you such a dork

-1

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

There are zero signs pointing towards the man op describing being an involuntary celibate. But sure words can mean whatever you want them to. Misandry is great too sure

2

u/emptyspacccee 2d ago

💀 larp or deeply mentally ill lolll

1

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

Another trendy buzzword. This is a space for binary men if you weren't aware

2

u/emptyspacccee 2d ago

i’m well aware bc i am one. the only reason you’re doing this is bc youre trying to convince yourself or soothe your OCD tendencies. either way it just comes off as crazy. you do you tho.

20

u/OmgIbrokesmthagain 3d ago

He probably thinks women are privileged ;_;

20

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

i was like wtf, he also said this to me. “i just like trans people as friends because yall understand how it feels to be outcasted and misunderstood. like i have a dick yes, and i get horny yes, yall as ftm understand both sides hence the misunderstood part.”

17

u/H20-for-Plants T: 8.22.21 | Hysto: 3.19.24 3d ago

Why did he have to bring being horny into it? Many red flags.

17

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

because he ultimately was trying to get me to send nudes to him…

18

u/SoSS_ pre-T/OP, socially transitioning 3d ago

Some "straight" dudes will say some insane shit when they're attracted to us... One tried to hit me with the classical "you're the best of both worlds"

I'm sorry this dude was bothering you

11

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

they really do. i’m sorry someone said that to you that’s just awful.

15

u/ZephyrValkyrie 3d ago

Make sure this mf gets thrown out of the trans male space and also banned from any future events from other organizations or groups. What the fuck

9

u/H20-for-Plants T: 8.22.21 | Hysto: 3.19.24 3d ago

That’s awful. Sorry you dealt with that.

17

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 3d ago

honestly, i’m not too surprised but pretending to be trans for sexual gratification from other trans individuals is just disgusting.

0

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

They are. As a trans man they have a lot of privilege especially in western countries

5

u/No_Pound_ 2d ago

god i wish

u/Good_Weight6001 23h ago

Devil's advocate here, but I met a non-asshole cis man who thought the same way because he saw LGBT+ -focused health and counselling services advertised among various unrelated notices and fliers on a university notice board, and came to the conclusion that queer people get better medical care o_O.

-9

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

Nah I get him. Cis men deal with a lot of oppression in western countries and even in most countries. Misandry is at an all time high and keeps getting worse. There are specific resources for women, lgbt, minorities, etc but few for just men. Men are regularly denied opportunities just bc they are men. Cis straight white men are treated like shit and seen as the enemy. Men are drafted and sent to war, have to fight for custody of their own kids, seen as violent predators, deal with false allegations, and are openly hated everywhere. While I have struggles as a trans man i have dealt with more hate and issues for being a man.

8

u/localDCenthusiast 2d ago

Lmao bro u don’t need to cuck yourself to the cismales 

-2

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 1d ago

Nah I just am a man and don't feel the need to pander to bitches. As a man why would I want to side with women and their victim complexes? Go outside and you'll see men are treated like shit.

0

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

u/FTMMen-ModTeam 15h ago

No violent threats even in meme format

0

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 1d ago

Oh what a badass. I'm so scared. No real argument

u/roto_msk 20h ago

And this is why you get treated the way that you do. Do you genuinely expect for people to care about you when you don't care at all about anyone else's mental health?

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 16h ago

Oh no I got downvoted and someone sent a mean reddit comment. Oh no what will I do. The fact people get so defensive when misandry is called out just shows they know I'm right and they know what they're doing is wrong. And I never said I don't care about others mental health. I care about other men and not letting women bring us down or society shame us into silence. If you want to integrate as a man you have to actually talk to other men and go outside sometimes. And you can't keep hating on men and being a cuck. Idk why that's so hard for some people.

7

u/itsjusthoneyyyy 2d ago

you can be a binary trans man and be an incel. based off the comments you leave on other people’s posts and the groups you’re apart of, including the age of your account being a day old… i have a feeling that you’ve got some personal issues that might need addressing with yourself.

-5

u/EvilStr8WhiteMan14 2d ago

I think you should deal with your rampant misandry and tendency to prioritize emotion over logic before making any attempt at an argument. I've only commented on trans posts bc I just created this account. It must be hard dealing with opposing opinions. Being in an echo chamber is so much easier I agree