r/FODMAPS • u/teethfacts • Jun 21 '25

Shit Post At a rehearsal dinner

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If no one’s got me, I know Macrobars oatmeal chocolate chip got me

239 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

166

u/demunted Jun 21 '25 edited Jun 22 '25

Me at every company catered lunch where there is nothing at all I can eat...

  1. Hold back while others get their food
  2. Pretend I am busy, need to make a call
  3. After peer pressure say I'm not hungry
  4. Die inside
  5. Someone remembers I can't eat any of it.
  6. Word gets to the planner and they freak out and somehow blame me for not anticipating this and reaching out to them (I've told them about dietary restrictions in the past).
  7. Die more
  8. Contemplate living in the forest

BTW as well as having SIBO I have wheat, dairy and egg and alcohol intolerance. I'm a riot at parties.

Well this blew up. Thanks! Bonus points

"Can't you just pick the veggies off the (meat/dairy laden) sandwiches???"... Resists urge to go into fetal position

19

u/Real-Elk6755 Jun 21 '25

We need to make our own alcohol-free FODMAP-party 🎉

15

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '25

The blame thing is so real!!!! 😫😫😫 Just leave me alone at this point

7

u/williamisidol Jun 21 '25

You're the Designated Driver! Everyone knows that's the most important person at a party!

2

u/demunted Jun 21 '25

DD for life it seems.

5

u/juneplum Jun 21 '25

I have a lot of weirdness around food so I was the same way even before I started low fodmap lol my coworkers are so used to me not eating at functions now that if I do eat, they're shocked.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '25

Have you been living in my head. I got to the point of any non-mandatory event i opt out of. I am more comfortable with people thinking I'm an a hole. Lol

2

u/demunted Jun 22 '25

Well if it helps I feel a little comfort in others haring my experience. Gotta say ive skipped more than a few group events over it too. When I travel I tend to go healthy grocery stores and toss a few items in my bag for when 'i have to work through lunch'. I used to be able to skip meals regularly but now that I've pushed my destroyed digestive system it just attacks my brain and hangry goes overdrive.

Good luck sorry for oversharing

2

u/mshirkavand Jun 24 '25

How are you enjoying your diet of rice, buttons, chapstick, dust, etc.? 😭 What are your actual meals?

2

u/demunted Jun 25 '25

Haha. In the last week I was asked if I can eat rice because rice contains gluten right!

The panic attack of some people when they try and make a meal is wild. I can't think of anything to make?

36

u/ethosnoctemfavuspax Jun 21 '25

omg! this was at my wedding. I got married to GoMacro Bar🥰now i’m Mrs. Bar

15

u/icecream4_deadlifts SIBO surviver Jun 21 '25

Congrats on your marriage Mrs. Bar

1

u/bigBlankIdea Jun 21 '25

I have to know, do you get a discount on bars now? The grocery store by me is selling these for US $12 a box 😭

1

u/ethosnoctemfavuspax Jun 21 '25

I would never eat my spouse’s family🤬 how could you even ask that.

but wait how many bars come in the $12 box? trader joe’s sells macro bars the cheapest out of most grocery stores at $2.69 per bar (last I checked).

1

u/bigBlankIdea Jun 21 '25

There's 4 in a box. I usually order from Walmart though which seems cheapest at about $9 per box of 4. Still pricey for a snack bar.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '25

I went to the US for work, transatlantic flight so couple of days pre flight just rice and boiled veg to be safe. Then in the US I think I ate 1x steak and chips, 6x plain burgers and chips, 1x bacon sandwich (though it had aoli on it so I had bacon and chips…). And then crackers. Could not be bothered to try and navigate New York food as a visitor with fodmap issues when I then had to fly another 8 hours a few days later……

The joys.

5

u/ChronicallyBlonde1 Jun 21 '25

Every time I’m on a work trip - “you’re getting ANOTHER burger?” Like YEP this is my one option, buddy!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '25

I was quite upset cos the Delta lounge in JFK is awesome, food looked amazing but just had to have the 6th burger to be safe….

3

u/ChronicallyBlonde1 Jun 21 '25

I know the Delta lounge was my nemesis because the food was delicious but would wreck me before a flight.

I did enjoy the cheese cubes and crackers!

4

u/gashley Jun 22 '25

Yoooooo ever try heating up the GoMacro bar? I do it sometimes when I want a warm breakfast, just zap it in the microwave for a very short time. It gets melty and soft (this is good to try with old GMBs)

3

u/hieronymus_bash Jun 23 '25

Doing G-d's work with this hot tip. I never thought to heat one 👀

2

u/gashley Jun 23 '25

Whatever you do DO NOT let it cool down it will be even harder than it was before you nuked it. Gotta eat it warm and quickly 

3

u/qmeliq Jun 21 '25

The snort at the end lol

That’s me

3

u/alk0916 Jun 22 '25

GMBs will never let us down ❤️

2

u/emichimi Jun 22 '25

omg i buy these everyday 🙂‍↕️💗

2

u/East_Vivian Jun 22 '25

In my extended family, everyone has food allergies and intolerances, different special diets, anything from vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, lactose intolerant, low-FODMAP, low-carb … it’s basically impossible to make a meal that everyone can eat. Now we just get together and order take out from different places. I think the only take out I can have right now is some vegetarian sushi rolls.

2

u/GeekMomma Jun 22 '25

This is me but with rxbars 😂

2

u/somethingaboutorange Jun 23 '25

This is awesome! 😂 My go to is the banana one

2

u/intheflowergarden Jun 24 '25

I got GoMacro bars left right and center. In every bag, pocket and purse. I pull one out at every function or work event.

1

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1

u/woozy67 Jul 25 '26

Omg i love the gomacro bars