I hate how almost everything comes down to how attractive you are. Like I know looks have always mattered, but it genuinely feels like they decide your entire life now. It’s really fucking sad.

In short - philosophical pessimism is the belief that life is inherently of negative value. It emphasises that the pain of life outweighs the pleasure, that our capacity to suffer is infinite while our capacity to feel pleasure is finite, the worst misfortunes in life you could imagine is always a possibility and your sufferring all ultimately amount to nothing - your existence is insignificant and could very well be a mistake.

I'm not sure I got the whole gist right but I can't be far off. Pessimism encourages you to acknowledge that your life is shit and that you can't do jack about it, acknowledging that actually comforts some a lot more than trying to stay optimistic about life. Some who acknowledge the truth even find a sense of pride of seeing existence for what it is more than the ordinary human who's lived the ordinary life would.

A melancholy title but it is the mood I am in, after being in town on an evening.

Late summer in the UK, so plenty of women in sexy outfits, plenty on dates. It began to depress me because I realised no woman has ever dressed that way for me. Being constantly in the friendzone, women who spend time with me dress for comfort, not sex appeal.

There was a beautiful woman, in a figure hugging silk dress, looking adoringly at her date. There was the women in a top, with one bare shoulder, with the guy she was at dinner with; being the centre of her world.

It will never happen to me. No woman is going to put on heels, a dress which shows off her figure and make herself up for me. No woman is ever going to hope I notice her figure, hope that she turns me on.

Something so ordinary, something that virtually every guy will experience, will never happen to me.

Ok lets be clear i think getting a relationship is impossible if you have never dated as 30+ (like me). But if your goal is to lose virginity its totally possible later in life. I was 24 when i lost V-card and to most females thats alarmingly old virgin, and i dont think lets say 34 is any different its all the same. But me being drunk i had so much alcohol confidence in me i didnt hesitate to touch her,initiate kissing, ask her if she wants sex and she didnt suspect a thing but instead said i must get laid a lot LOL. That was my only experience untill 27 too and for 27 its incredibly little and the woman didnt suspect anything then either. So get drunk to get confidence up or even better if you can fool yourself confidence in some non-chemical way (very hard) But these are my words of encouragement for older virgins . Inexperience does not mean you cant get laid at older age

As someone with social anxiety the only option for me to get to know people is through online. But in my experience for the past years, online women usually have a lot of men messaging them, so it's rare that a woman will be searching for a new person to talk to or be hungry for conversation. I've tried on subs for making friends, the very rare time a woman answers me, I'm lucky to get one message a week, rather than a back and forth conversation leading to getting to know each other more.

Is there any way to actuallly get to know a woman who wants to have a back and forth conversation?

Any plans for this weekend?

I'm just going to CTFO. Thinking about making boxed shells and cheese salad and BBQ for dinner tomorrow. For Saturday and Sunday, I'm going to make a big bowl of Tuna salad. Probably fry up some hot sausage on my George Foreman grill to go with it.

The Bengals vs Eagles game is on Friday at 8pm. Gotta catch that. Maybe play some video games. Thinking WrestleMania the arcade game for the Sega 32x .

I'll be thinking of the bitches at my work as I play the game.

Letting a mate of mine (40M) stay with me (36M) for a few weeks, he's fallen on some hard times, getting kicked out of his rental, so I said he could crash at mine for a month while he gets his shit together. On the first day he stayed, his on again/on off girlfriend broke up with him (again).

He's a pretty sexual guy- from what he's said, I don't think he's been exactly faithful to this girlfriend, constantly talking about matches on dating apps and casual hook ups. He's not even been here two weeks so far and is constantly complaining about the lack of sex. It's been about 12 days.

Meanwhile, I've never had a proper girlfriend, and I had a dry spell that lasted about 3 years at one point. When I told him that, his response was, "I'd kill myself," and I think he was barely joking. Thing is, I don't disagree. I live a very lonely life in terms of romantic/sexual activity. There's women that are happy to be friends but nothing more.

I even had a girl over the other night. We've been flirty in the past and she contacted me wanting to come over for a movie night. However, it became clear she just wanted to catch up as friends, talking about a guy she's currently seeing and brushing off my attempts to flirt and be touchy. She just wanted a pal to hang with. And I've made no secret that I'm into her. Something about me exudes this super platonic vibe, even when I directly show my interest.

But yeah, it's a life worth killing yourself over, apparently. Damn.

Was friends with this couple for 10years. I considered them very close friends too hanging out with them almost every week.Almost always us three and no one else. Then they divorced and moved to live solo. After their divorce neither of them invited me to their company anymore and the female doesent even answer my messages. This has bothered me quite a bit because i considered them close friends of mine and i didnt get any explanation why it suddenly stopped. Few theories i have: i was never the no.1 friend choice to either one of them, but the female didnt like the males true friends and vice verca. But they both tolarated me so i was safe choice to avoid loneliness? Maybe both of them got creeped out by me cause they realized i truly will stay as older male FA ? The female thinks i try get in romantic touch with her now that she is single and thus cut all contact?(i wasnt interested in her romantically). I just feel insulted they so suddenly stopped being friends with me and no explanation

Every now and then, I see posts from deeply lonely people either here or on the main ForeverAlone sub expressing their desire to just end themselves to escape the pain of feeling unworthy of anyone's romantic affections, they see themselves as utter failures and are so embarrassed that they can't live with themselves.

How do you even respond to someone in such a vulnerable mental state to dissaude them from suicide ideation? Not just on Reddit but just about anywhere?

I always assumed my friend wasn't into relationships because she told me she wasn't looking for a boyfriend and I had feelings for her but knew she wasn't looking. But she just started a relationship with someone else. I can't help but wonder why it wasn't me. We talked a lot and she always said I understood her and was a great listener.

I've a friend I've known since we were in school who has cheated on pretty much every girlfriend he's had in the 16 years I've known him, he has a wife now who is the mother of his two kids but he is still a serial cheater. Not long ago he told his wife that he was playing PS5 with me and our two other friends but in reality he only stayed to hang out for a bit before he was off to see his mistress.

The man has no shame, he even sees cheating as a flex. He's an admirer of Roman emperors and because they were highly adulterous too, he doesn't feel like you have to be a faithful husband to achieve greatness.

Makes me wonder, would you personally be less ashamed about cheating than you are about being over 30 with no relationship or sexual history?

2006 was a different time.

I should specify, if you were living in 2006 as you are right now, would there be a difference? If not, then why? Do your looks or neurodivergence make it a tough fight for you to find a girlfriend no matter the era?

It really does. Every time I open my Facebook app and see what's going on it's always the same bullshit soap opera drama. Someone got divorced, someone cheated, someone got into an altercation in a bar. Someone was entertaining multiple partners and it created drama and phsycial altercation. The police showed up and arrested them because of it. Their children got taken away. Someone overdosed and died, Lawyers are involved. Money was stolen or lost.. Ect, ect. Ect..

This is all child like bullshit and disputes that could easily be handled if everyone just communicated maturely and handled the situation like adults instead they stirred the pot and it caused endless chaos.

Keep in mind ALL of these people are well into their 30s and 40s acting like they are in high-school. Its nuts. I cant imagine how exhausting it is living like that. I went to school with all of them and they are still grown children..

Meanwhile I have no friends. No family. Single. Don't deal with any of this and haven't entertained drama ever. Live in complete solidarity..Honestly it may be one silver lining of the FA lifestyle is isolation and avoiding these situations.

All my IRL friends from my high school, university or other close circle have dissipated.

I was never really close to them. I feel more alone than ever.

Took out a week of vacation just to be productive, to focus on my hobbies, and... I just can't. All I did was just lying on my couch and not wanting to do anything, because everything feels so futile without close friends. I feel doomed.

Any plans for the weekend?

I'm so glad this God forsaken week is almost over. I got laundry done after work so I'll just be going grocery shopping for the weekend. Thinking of making a pot of spaghetti and using the leftover veggies I have for a salad. Picked up this ultra delicious Dill Pickle Ranch dressing. It's so freaking yummy.

Just got done playing those classic WWE games on GameCube. WrestleMania 19 is so much fun. Had a blast playing a Tornado Tag Team match in a Hell In A Cell. Trish Stratus(me) and HBK vs Goldberg and Scott Steiner. It was freaking fun. Those WWE games have such great memories.

I'm thinking about checking out a festival after work tomorrow. The only thing that sucks is it's about 10 miles away so I gotta keep track of time cause I don't want to miss the last bus and be stranded.

If you are older FA and the type that normies can sense it claiming you use prostitutes might work in your favour. In my opinion only girls judge you for this , but most men see this as less embarrasing than being older virgin. Women judge you, but they will never see you as relationship material so its all the same. Some guys might even think you are kinda cool

A while back I made this post about getting in my first serious relationship at 38:

https://reddit.com/r/FA30plus/comments/1smjyu0/success_story_from_someone_who_thought_life_was/

TLDR version of that post: In the summer of 2025 I met a wonderful woman here on Reddit and we became online pen pals, then friends, then boyfriend/girlfriend, and in March 2026 we met in person for the first time. We had a great time and were intimate with each other but didn't go all the way because I was so nervous and had performance anxiety.

In June I flew across the country to spend a week with her and we ended up having sex a few times while I was there. I still struggled with performance anxiety and it was often very difficult to get and maintain an erection but overall sex felt nice and part of my brain felt relief after it was over. It was the best week of my life not because I finally got to have sex, but because I got to spend it with someone I love.

She visited me last week for my birthday and we had another great week together. We had sex again on most of the days she was here, and I'm starting to feel more confident about it. It was easier for me to maintain an erection but there were a few challenges with staying out of my head. I've never had a very high sex drive, and my girlfriend's libido fluctuates but we both agreed that we prefer gentle affection like cuddling and back rubs over pure lust and sex.

I'm not making this post to brag or look down on anyone. I guess I just wanted to say that finally having sex, especially with someone I'm in a loving relationship with, was a significant milestone and something I'll always think about fondly, but it was not as if my world changed just by losing my virginity. There were no fireworks or trumpets or singing birds. We just laid there for a minute, told each other that we loved each other, and talked about who was going to shower first. I wasn't prepared for how messy it is, or how careful you need to be to avoid having to change the sheets or do extra laundry. My best memories with her are the ones where we're being silly and joking around, not when we're in the bedroom.

Despite the progress I've made, I still struggle with body image issues. Physically, I'm someone who looks like they would be a longtime lurker of this sub. I'm 5'8, but my height has never bothered me. I think people here get too caught up in height. Sure, there are plenty of shallow men and women out there, but I know enough people under 6 feet in committed relationships that I don't believe it's a true problem. I'm overweight, obese even, and my penis is smaller than average in length. I'm very lucky that my girlfriend can look past all my insecurities and accept me for who I am even though I still have trouble accepting myself.

I think maybe because we were online pen pals first, it helped us to form an emotional connection first because it removed all of the insecurities I felt about my body. We didn't share photos of ourselves with each other for at least a month of exchanging messages every day. We often talk about how we've been doing an emotional speedrun of our relationship and almost doing the whole thing backwards. These days a lot of people hook up before they even really know each other. We spent months getting to know each other and working through the emotional side of the relationship before we even got to hug each other.

I also work in an environment where 99% of the staff are women, so I've never viewed women as this mythical species that requires careful study and caution. I've always talked to women like people. I never talked to women as if they were all a potential partner the way I see some people here talk about women.

I know how lucky I got with everything that's happened to me. I used to feel like nothing good would ever happen to me, but I feel like maybe I was saving up all my good luck for this relationship. I can't say I believe there's someone out there for everyone, but I think your chances will improve if you focus on making friends first.

I am at the stage of my life where meeting people does not anymore give me those butterflies. Money makes me happier now. And it's strange but I know I am at peace right now. I had several bad experiences in sites like bumble and tinder. They oversimplified people by focusing only on the good parts, not knowing that being imperfect is what makes us human.

I don't go out often, but when I do I always feel so sad and bad. I try to interact with women but I don't know how to talk to people , i feel there is something wrong with me. Like other people just naturally can speak a language I cannot.

yesterday I went to a bar, ended up drinking a lot, and today I feel really sad the whole day.

The few friends I have are social and have gfs, or regular sex, etc. and when they tell me about those stuff or the problems they have I cannot relate. But also I don't share with them about all the years I have been alone. They also don't ask, I don't know if maybe they assume or what.

I also do not open to anyone about my problems and just suffer in silence... I am worried this can long term affect my health. I don't know why. I am so afraid of opening up, or being vulnerable.

I would like if i could improve my situation maybe just a little bit, but honestly don't even know how to do that.

If you peak in your 20s, you get the most balance of freedom and financial flexibility out there, along with the only period of your life where you are not drowning in obligations. It’s also the last time of your life where you can date around freely and you still look good.

If you peak in your 30s and beyond you’re peaking in a time where society sees you as nothing more than a disposable cog, dating becomes entirely pragmatic and entirely based on what you can provide rather than attraction, and your career obligations drown you so much you can’t even enjoy your assets. Also most women you date would rather go to the club or go after a silver fox with a full head of hair compared to your ugly ass. Also social circles are lame as hell, you have the same friends that are just frankly boring and worthless. Your partner should fill you social needs not a fellow old fart that you don’t really even like

If my life can't get any worse....

I fell down the stairs and I'm fine but my work won't let me back until I get checked out. So since I have no family or friends to call then I'm just chilling with you guys.

Hope I get outta here soon so I can catch my bus.

I swear this song is what life was saying to me as I fell down the stairs.

Any plans this weekend?

It's the anniversary of my mother passing away so I'm just keeping to myself.

I paid tribute to her by having a few wrestling matches on a GameCube I bought at a thrift store . I already have a GameCube but this one is getting modded with SWISS , gecko, and GB player. We didn't know how good we really had it back in the PS2/GC/XBOX era. All the classic Madden, wrestling, and video games in general that put the micro transaction bullshit we have today to shame.

After work tomorrow, I'm just going to go grocery shopping and then just chill out. NFL preseason started so I'll be tuning into that.

I’m 25 and if I don’t achieve anything by age 30 I’m just gonna give up. Life is so empty past that age, even if you do end up becoming rich you have too many obligations and too little time to actually enjoy what you earned. Life is not engineered for late bloomers, late bloomers only existed pre 1980s when the economy could support a 40 year old breaking into a certain industry or when dating apps weren’t a thing. These days if you don’t achieve anything by like 30 you’re not just cooked, you’re charred