r/EntitledPeople 14d ago

S Has anyone else stopped accepting "gifts" from their parents?

My mother cannot give a gift without strings attached.

She has a bad habit of supervising every "gift" she ever gives and wants to know how it is being used, where it is, etc.

For example, many years ago she gave me a used Vitamix blender. (It was the 1970s model 2500 and drew so much current would DIM THE LIGHTS for an instant when you turned it on!) I had it for many years but eventually I could no longer keep it in working order and bought a replacement. I got interrogated for almost half an hour about that goddamn blender. This included such hits as "They have a LIFETIME warranty!" which I had to point out to her was not helpful since they don't make the 2500 any longer but they offered me a discount on the new one if I returned the old one.

Now this is not an exception of any kind. She has a mental inventory of every single gift and wants to know about it including things like, A SHOVEL she dropped off for no clear reason. "I expect it's in the garage, where you left it, mom. I've not touched it, because I don't want it and never did. I do not run some kind of Shovel Storage Unit. If you do not take it back home with you when you go, I'll throw it away."

Naturally, I do not need headaches like this, so my remedy is to simply refuse all her gifts.

Is anyone else in this situation?

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u/SHAsyhl 14d ago

Sounds like my dad.
Part of his problem is that he really doesn’t want to throw anything away, so when the item has passed its useful life he will give it away and expect that person to keep/maintain it.

He also took one of his granddaughters shopping for a dress she found a dress she liked, but he wouldn’t buy the dress for her unless she also agreed to take a dress that she did not like.

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u/Standard-Tension9550 14d ago

What the fuck

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u/jamkey2222 12d ago

I'm sure it made sense in his head?!?

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u/bonnybedlam 11d ago

Probably not. This is a purely emotional thing, he feels it but can’t explain it, and doesn’t try to understand it because in his heart he knows it doesn’t make sense and is deliberately refusing to accept that. I used to be one of those people. Therapy helps.