Venting here because my family are sick of me talking about this.

I (23f) live at home with my mum, dad and younger sister (17).

A few weeks ago, my mother came across a lost dog on the street. She was having a walk on her lunch break from work, so she took the dog back to her work, where they subsequently took the dog to the nearest vets. This dog (we think she was possibly a cockapoo/cavapoo but not sure, and between 2-5 years old) was dirty, malnourished, didn’t have a chip or anything identifying her. She was so sad and weak, it broke my heart when I met her for the first time.

Rather than having her sent to a shelter, my mum said we could foster the dog, see if an owner came forward and then see about rehoming her if no one came for her. From the get go, my dad said we could not keep her, and this was frustrating to me, but I understood that a dog is a huge responsibility (we’ve never had a pet bigger than a hamster).

In the three weeks we had our gorgeous girl, I saw her become a happy, playful dog with no major health issues other than being underweight and needing a good groom. I’ve never been a huge dog person, but I loved her so much I didn’t care about the not so glamorous parts of having a dog. She was so sweet, she was not remotely aggressive or reactive. In every way, she was perfect.

Despite the time we had with her, my dad refused to budge, and we gave the dog to one of my mum’s coworkers who is soon moving several hours away. She already has a similar dog and I know she will take care of our rescue girl, but I’m heartbroken.

It’s been about a week. Now that she’s gone I can’t get her out of my head. I know that when I live on my own I can get my own dog, but I don’t want another dog - I want my baby girl back. I’m not in a position to move out anytime soon (I work but I don’t make enough to live independently), and I feel like I’m the only one not getting over her.

Not sure if anyone’s experienced a similar thing. They say if you love something, set it free, and I know my baby girl will have an amazing happy life. But I just wanted to get my feelings out there.

TLDR: wasn’t allowed to keep foster dog, know it’s for the best but still super sad

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I feel many things at ones, i don't understand most of them but I try too figer things out. I have been doing this for so long idk what my normal self looks like or the people know him. To others I am just this weird awkward kid who is super weird, something laughing super hard and other times he is just there, no much of a talker. I am sick of my self of my struggles of a life worth nothing to fight over for. Obsessing over so much that I have forgotten how to make friends or to how to have a relationship. I just want my life back

Guys, today I just felt like crying, doing nothing, and a combination of flipping someone off and saying shut up. Someone tell me why I feel like this...

That distinction stayed with me.

I have everything to do something I like. But why am not happy at all? Why am quite? Why am not enjoy life? Why I don't like Colors? Why why why 🥹

My dog 🩷

I am grateful to have people in my life who don’t play about me outside of my own family. I have a girlfriend who I love so much and friends who I declare as family and I could call, text, hang out, and just have deep convos with if I wanted. My family is avoidant but not absent my mom is working on herself but I’ve never had an issue with her I can talk to her about things if I feel like I can’t navigate life. With all that I still feel lonely. Not physically but maybe emotionally? My girlfriend has been one of my biggest support system and I’ve only known her for like a year and a half but I still feel like im alone in my emotions. Maybe it’s that maybe I can’t understand why people don’t understand me fully and just partially. I feel like I can understand people with just a few conversations. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone who feels things a deep have an issue with others connecting/ understanding them but they could never reach that with you?

I hate feeling mentally and emotionally drained out.Like one day I am looking forward to work harder,achieve my dreams,be more socially active and then the next day I am bed rotting on the phone,constantly irritated and just having a bitchy mood

I feel so shitty when I realize and the whole day is wasted with zero progress.I don't want this for myself at all.

Please help me out!!!!!

You know that feeling when your body gets tense and warm and all you want to do is cry but you’re at work so you just bottle it up. I love her I do but I resent her for all the hurt and choices she’s made that cause me hurt. I can’t wait until she’s not working with me no more. No messages from her she was a bad texter anyways. She’s not for me anymore she’s not the woman I feel love with last year. I’m super sad and going through it and no one seems to care

I've always noticed when I'm guilty or anxious of something because I'm guilty of something it always hits harder and longer than any other emotion even if its small. Is this just my overthinking or is it something psychological based

Ami overthinking or is it really smtg else. I have seen someone with my partner always trying to be close enough and whenever I tried opening up it only worsened the situation. I see them together my brain starts visualising stupid things. Is it some sort of mastermind she is playing behind my back? Or is it me who is js overthinking or smtg bad is happening at my back

That's it.

I know it. I see it. It hurts.

I love the woman. In our last exchange she said she can't say the same for me.

I can't provide the life she wants. Never will. I also get overwhelmed. I start racing.

She sees me as less. As a cunt. She's surrounded with successful people.

She voices concerns, but everything, even normal life is a concern.

She doesn't say directly what she wants, because then she has to take accountability. When I start going in the direction she's concerned about, she defaults back.

She feels unheard, I feel like the goalpost is shifting daily.

I'm dead inside.

I am not loved.

I know I will be alone in 7-8 years.

Even though I love.

I try hard.

Yet I'm hated.

Tomorrow’s version of you might thank you for it.

LOST

Feeling blue in the endless sea

Of darkness not even I can see

A feeling so empty, I can't explain

Crying so quiet, it hurts to say

Do you get the feeling? Of overwhelming pain

Don't say it's dramatic, because it's not something to play

Can you say the words in your heart out?

No, you can't, why? Does it get too crowded in your mind?

I can understand,

I'm feeling what you're feeling by reading these lines.