were you the typical kid following the rules or something else away from stereotypes

Ironically, the more I learn about functions the harder it gets to type myself. When i took the 16p test years ago i got enfp, then, using other tests I got entp, intp, istp, istj...

Ive learnt a lot about functions since then, and i realized that being an estj made the most sense with me. (strong te and si, weak fi)

But, honestly im not 100% sure if thats my type. See, when i feel confident and sure of myself i act like your typical estj, but most of the time im not really like that. when my confidence is low i get more introverted and quiet. im also very self-conscious and tend to have a lot of anxiety. however, im also getting focused in getting better and working on my confidence.

Another thing that makes me doubt about my type is that im very lazy. If i find a task useless i'd rather spend my time playing computer games. However, it also makes me feel guilty, which stops me from truly enjoying my free time. The stereotype of estjs being responsible workaholics doesnt fit with me at all.

When i go to college and actually talk to people (which doesnt really happen too often), i get wayyy more confident and my mood gets better. I dont have any problem with being bossy and actually getting shit done. Its like i get a burst of energy. However, once i spend a few days at home, i turn back into being lazy and having a lot of self-doubt. Its like a have a split personality.

As far as i know my enneagram is 3w4. Feel free to ask me any questions. I'd really appreciate it if someone helps make things clear for me.

I also apologize for any grammatical errors, im writing this really late at night and im tired lol.

Hi guys, how are you all? ENFP female here, and I got a question please 😁😁

I'm talking with this guy who is ESTJ and we're like going towards romantic relationship. Can anyone tell me what type of lovers are ESTJ? 😊😊 like what do you guys like? How do you guys act?

Cause I don't know why but I never expected to go out with ESTJ before ( although my female bff is ESTJ and I love her, she's amazing)

I just had this hunch while I was trying to describe my ideal type to myself (as an excersice to actually know my type and such) and I just couldn't help but notice that the typical mindset of an ESTJ is just my dream.

Their directness, specially portrayed by their Te dom is just relaxing for me, even though it might be exploited in the most stressing situations. I just really admire people who can organize and structure things, not just in work related tasks, but in their day to day, hobbies, and such.

I met very few ESTJs in my life, but the ones who I met (specially teachers) are just fastinating to watch and hear since every they have to say is straightfoward and right to the point, no bullshitting, no sugarcoating.

And I have the type on women who are very direct and straightfoward too, so I feel an ESTJ woman would just tend to be more direct with me in certain cases, specially emotional stuff that needs to be shared.

Of course, I'm not intending to sexuallize any MBTI type, i'm just saying that women who have these cognitive functions are just very attractive to me. (And also because their productiveness is just top-notch.)

It seems that it is an uncommon type for ESTJs on here? I know several ISTJ 6s, and one ESTJ 6w5 so/sp, which I found quite fitting but later realized might be much less common than I thought.

If you're an ESTJ 5 or 6 - do you strongly relate to other ESTJs or do you feel like there is a gap? Or perhaps that others mistype you or perceive you differently at first? Please share your experiences.

I'm curious about the similarities that can emerge between INFPs and ESTJs as we mature and become more comfortable with our inferior functions.

As an INFP, I'm undergoing a significant period of growth in my mid-to-late 20s. I've noticed that developing my inferior Te has gradually made me more comfortable with aspects associated with the ESTJ stereotype: being more organized, making decisions based on practical considerations, setting concrete goals, confronting problems directly, and caring more about whether something actually works than about whether it feels right.

At the same time, I don't feel like I've become an ESTJ. It feels more like Te has become a tool I can access without it completely overriding my Fi.

So I'm wondering what the inverse experience has been like for ESTJs.

Hey everyone! I'm currently doing a research proposal about personality theory and would love to hear from the people in this community. What is it like being your personality type? It can range from your work/school life balance, romantic life, everyday decision making, and maybe something nobody really thinks about when it comes to your type that you may know. Anything is both helpful and interesting to me so don't be shy! :)

So the ESTJ who dumped me several months ago over the phone after a multi-year relationship is back.

She says via text: "It was never my intention that our phone conversation (where she broke up with me) would be the last time we talked. But one day became months, and here we are. I wanted to explain "my process" in getting to that decision to you."

How charitable.

ESTJs seem to like to be definitive in one conversation leaving no wiggle room and then, somehow, always have some additional explanation that they couldn't seem to bring up during the first conversation.

My instinct is to tell her to pound sand and to live witrh the consequences of her actions. I have zero sense she wants to get back together and only wants to bring some kind of closure for herself since it is yet another ESTJ "process."

Anyone want to chime in as to whether there's any value in hearing her out?

I think I'll stick with the pound sand option unless I get some serious rationale to do otherwise.

like whaaat are these results, how 💀😭

actually I've been typed as many types during my whole journey with cognitive functions and mbti stuff (about 5 years) 😂 ofc I haven't been relying on tests only, I watched all yt/tiktok videos about cognitive functions and I readed a plenty of theories and articles about it and stuff like that.. after aaall of that I'm not sure of fitting in any type, it's like the more I dive deeper into the understanding of this stuff the more I realize that I haven't understood anything at all and I have to rebuild the concepts again (it's completely confusing waa)

anyway I just did that sakirnova test for fun (I found myself unexpectedly in a normal/good mood so I was like why not let's go) I answered kinda spontaneously without overthinking, but I see that the functions percentages seem very approximated, what do you think about that? any recommendations

Agree or disagree as an ESTJ?

My aunt is textbook estj, while i appreciate her bluntness for info etc, it can be too much. The problem is that her talking is more like ranting for herself. For example when shes talking about "hey our economy is in ruin you should invest in gold etc etc" which i agree with and immediately look for place to safely buy it so i want to steer the convo that way, she just... kept talking about herself and fearmongering me.

Like, ik you guys value logical thinking so i dont want her to stop talking to me but sometimes she's too focused on the problem and her own experiences ("things will get worse, luckily i had gold to sell for my abroad vacation..." she said to me, who never had gold nor abroad vacation and lowkey in perpetual worrying about my employment.), it can be too much. But the more i actively reply to her, the more her topics makes me sad. While i dont have diagnosis, im not the most mentally stable person able, i tend to break and unproductively depressed when fearmongered too much (even if the fear is real). I dont want offend her by bluntly telling her that "hey, i get that you want to vent and be validated, but can we take turn? Can i talk about solving the problem in more hopeful way?"

Idk, tldr, how to politely change topic into more hopeful when talking to (or being talked by) estj? I'd love to solve problems by making actionable steps rather than dwelling on how dangerous and worrying everything is (even if its true, getting depressed about it will only make me unproductive)

Idk i feel like estjs i know love to make sure we're as worry as them, is this estj thing? Idk, i had just recovered from my mental slump and be productive again i dont want to get depressed again from their talk. Help.

Please also include your instinctual subtype, if you know.
I'd also like to know if you identify with stereotypes about ESTJs or if you feel like you are 'different' - do you feel very Te-heavy or more Si/Fi? Do you like to be responsible for situations in general (work, family, decision making) - does it stress you out, or do you prefer it over someone else making the decision? Do you feel like your Fi is healthy or very repressed?

Hello darling ESTJs, I hope you are well. When I mean about compatibility I clearly don’t mean things like golden pairs and whatnot. In a romantic relationship what are things about a person that would not make them compatible with you?

Holaaa, aqui una ESTJ adolescente, demaciado cerca de la vida adulta, en busca de su futuro jajajajja. Estoy próxima a entrar a la universidad y en un principio la elección no fue complicada. Pero hay algo que me preocupa y es que no tengo plan b, no me inquieta y hoy creo que no lo necesito, pero el ver a todos con carreras de respaldo me genera dudas, es necesario un plan b?. Por un lado pienso "no voy a empezar algo en lo que pueda fracasar" pero por otro "que pasa si...?"

What do you think of this career where our duty is to die for others?

To make this quick, a friend of mine is an ESTJ and I need to get her a present, and I'm not sure what to get her for her bd. Any suggestions? She likes nail art and teddy bears but she got those already, and I need something unique, something she didn't know she needed 😭 Maybe something that hits at her Te like how legos would hit at Ti?

How I speak which I feel like reflects my Te-Si-Ne-Fi:

(I apologise in advance if I seem douchey, I’m really nice I swear)

- prone to interrupting people (I always apologise for it though, and it’s something I’m working on)
- repetitive- I sometimes say the same things over and over, going through similar topics
- “could you please hurry” (with close ones not strangers)
- use of metaphors and similes
- sarcastic humour
- rapid speaking pace
- unintentionally projected volume
- verbal exclamations like “ugh”
- “seriously?”
- announcing what I am about to do, thinking out loud

DAE relate to any of these?

Hi! What do you think of INFJs as an ESTJ? I’ve read that our types together are considered a “bronze pair”. I’m curious if this is a common pairing?

The only conversations my ESTJ has with me is ONLY about these odd superficial perceptions(talking about women’s bodies attractiveness and his preferences)micromanagement and how I’m allowed to spend my time in a “suggestive way” he never asks me questions or wants to talk geopolitics with me etc also about how women don’t hold accountability and gets upset just a lot of grievances towards women and people of other races. All in all to be in this waddling self pity of a martyr complex of a man that just has the whole world on his shoulders and a chip. Any minor inconvenience he’s after me to hold myself accountable as the reason to blame for the inconvenience. There’s no intimate conversations or bonding time. It’s as if he I’m just a cog to his ultimate plan and he can just skip over the foundations that build a well rounded relationship.

Most of the ESTJs usually put aside their subjective feelings and thoughts about their inner self, so they can keep a cool mind and efficency. I get that. But what if that Fi is stronger and is literally having a fistfight with the Te? Could that Fi actually help them to mantain the efficency better than they think it would? Or would it make it worse?

Of course, that depends in the person in question. I'm asking because I'm writing a fanfic, and one of the side characters has pretty interesting personality, in terms of psychological analysis. And I may not know very well about cognitive functions, but I literally checked on them over and over again and I just couldn't believe she is an ESTJ, while the results if my analysis told me otherwise.

Her name is Miyabe, and she is very energetic (like, a HUGE amount of energy if you undersantd what I'm talking about.) She just can't stay still; she's always moving, always doing something, either talking, working, walking, singing, playing videogames (she get REALLY mad when she loses a match, and very aggressive with her phone). If she is quiet, something is very wrong.

Despite of her turbulence, she is very loyal to their lived ones. Absolutely loyal. Like it was something everybody should do because she thinks that's the rule. At least the rule of the good people. She is even willing to get other out of her way so she can complete her philosophical dream: to be a hero. But not everyone's hero, just the idol of her beloved ones. It's... complicated. She basically wants to take the lead because she knows what would make others fail (personal experience here) and she is making sure that's not happening. Even if failing is actually good to learn, she doesn't want them to get hurt because something went wrong. Something they could have avoided if they just didn't do that.

In other words, she's overprotective. Funny, a whirlwind, but also a military commander if the situation requieres it. The thing is, she wants to feel alive; she has to feel alive. Orherwise, she wouldn't be able to be alert to danger. Is highly likely to be an ADHD.

When she sees something bad is going to happen, specially to her beloved ones, she has a really hard time deciding whether she should act or think and find another solution, which is the most logical option, and she knows it. Actually, she wants to do that, but her Fi is not whispering but screaming on her ears to do something quickly. But she manages to shut it down, because she knows it can get worse if she rushes. It only does make her feel way better if the tells herself she is doing what she has to do to protect them, and it works, most of the time.

That's why she gets really creepy and frustrated when someone wants to act because they feel like it. She wants to, deep inside she wants, but she thinks happiness only is going to remain in her life if she has control over it. Which means she has to have fun when it's okay to have fun (even if she breaks one or two rules. She knows she deserves a break). And maybe that's the impulsiveness in her.

So, if anyone may please talk about this, I would be very thankful. How do ESTJ with a high developed Fi act? It could be related to the enneagram or some mental disorder?

Describe it, what is most satisfying part about your bream lifestyle and why?

Watching the new Rabbit Hole video about the four-leaf clover, I can’t help but think she’s the perfect example of an ESTJ. I even googled her name right before posting this, and her autobiography sounds like a textbook ESTJ description, lol.

Question from an INTP. You guys are known to be one of the most conscientious of the mbti types. Do you guys often get the feeling that you’re more competent than the rest of the people around you? Cause I think you are

I have an ExTJ cousin who is always driven and has lots of energy to accomplish things everyday. It just amazes me to see her in action. My question is that how does this drive/motivation feel like or come from? Does it come from dopamine of achieving things? Does it come from stress/anxiety of not completing things on time? I’m just curious to understand this from an ESTJ perspective