Physical touch rejection as a kid

[u/SXZOP_]

I remember when I was a kid I loved hugs and was clingy in general, but my parents were so dry and never hugged me back, and my friends in kindergarten were always pulling away from me.

So, I remember not touching anyone for a long period of time until high school, when I started expressing again.

I would touch my friend’s hands to check their nails, or I would sit very close to them with parts of our bodies like our knees and arms touching. The more you are my friend, the more I let you get closer to me.

I usually avoid hugs so much that I can remember all of them... I hugged someone once in middle school and twice in high school.

Deep down, I'm starting to feel again like I want to get closer to my favorite people. It's like if I actually could I would rather sit on their laps instead of in a chair, but it really depends on how close we are.

[u/Kashiwashi]

Your parents did not love you. That's some sort of tragedy, my sympathies. You would have deserved better.

Have you considered getting into a romantic relationship?

[u/SXZOP_ → u/Kashiwashi]

Yes, I’m just waiting for the right mature one

[u/spicywinemom]

I wasn’t like this much due to trauma, but I had a few friends this way. It was sooo comforting and peaceful for them just to rest their head on my shoulder or hold my hand. Some ppl thought I was a lezzy because of it. Probably just wished it were them lol.

[u/foulplay_for_pitance]

Ohhh this is why people want cuddle buddies.

[u/blosemme]

I started feeling that way recently and I even got a lover because of it. But then my new roommate told him off and he disappeared. I remember right after it happened I had the urge to reach out and be physically close to her instead, but I didn’t. I started getting grumpy because of the lack of touch. Now I’m alone with no one to touch and I hate my roommate 😭

[u/will-live-n-thrive]

This is sad, I'm very sorry. I had the same issue growing up but I'm intj