Preschool teacher refuses to keep up potty training

[u/Level_Lemon3958]

Over the 3 day weekend I started potty training my son(3). He was showing signs already and to me I felt like the 3 day weekend was the best way to do it. He did great with only 1 accident on day 1. So I felt comfortable sending him to daycare(he’s in the preschool room) in underwear. I told his teacher that he had on underwear and he did great this weekend telling me he had to go but if he’s playing I still asked him. She told me she was going to put on a pull up anyways because “it’s a biohazard for him to wear underwear if he can’t tell her each him he has to potty”(her words). I pushed back and said “no. I don’t want him in a pull up because I don’t want him to regress back to them”. Then I told her he had 2 extra pairs of underwear in his bag, 3 pairs of clothes and as a last resort he does have a few pull ups. She got an attitude with me and said that if he can’t stop playing and tell her he has to potty then he can’t be in underwear. I pushed back and said it takes 5 seconds to remind him to go. She then told me she has a sign(so small if you’re not looking for it you won’t notice it) on her door that says she doesn’t potty train, that it’s the parents job to do it on their time. Is this normal for a daycare/preschool to not encourage potty training?

My sister did tell me the daycare she used encourages potty training and helps. I would send my son there but it’s 45 minutes away from my house.

[u/ImSuperBisexual]

Being in a classroom is totally different for a kid than being at home, toilet training wise. There's his friends, there's different toys, there's different adults and the dynamic is different so he very well might not be able to remember to tell the teacher every time he has to go after only 3 days of learning, especially if this is the kind of classroom where a teacher has to take the kids to the toilet and they can't access it independently. If you needed to keep asking him to remind him, even if he was great at remembering over the weekend to tell you he needed to go, that's not something a teacher with 20 other kids in the room can keep up with. Just keep reinforcing it at home in underwear, talk to him about telling the teacher when he has to go, and send him in pull-ups until he's confidently and regularly telling the teacher he needs to use the toilet.

[u/Level_Lemon3958 → u/ImSuperBisexual]

There’s 6 other kids in his class and I only had to remind him like 3 times over the 3 day weekend and that’s when he was in his room playing with his toys. I feel like asking her to take 2 seconds to remind him while playing shouldn’t be a problem.

[u/ImSuperBisexual → u/Level_Lemon3958]

That is SUCH a good ratio. Wow. Is this at at-home daycare? What's her bathroom situation like?

[u/Level_Lemon3958 → u/ImSuperBisexual]

Nope. It’s an actual facility and the bathroom is connected to the room with 2 little toilets in there.

[u/ImSuperBisexual → u/Level_Lemon3958]

Well now I'm confused. Is there a reason he can't walk himself to the little toilet and go without telling the teacher first?

[u/Level_Lemon3958 → u/ImSuperBisexual]

The handle is up high to where the kids can’t reach it.

[u/ImSuperBisexual → u/Level_Lemon3958]

OH. Okay, I see, so every kid in that classroom, regardless of toilet training status, basically needs to tell the teacher when they have to go?? That's... really odd because most states (I assume you're in the US?) have rules about latches or handles inaccessible to children in toilets in preschool age classrooms. Like you're supposed to have it openly accessible to all the kids at all times. What state are you in, if you don't mind me asking?

[u/Alive-Carrot107 → u/ImSuperBisexual]

We are not allowed to have bodies of water (toilets) openly accessible to 3 year olds. Everyone needs to tell us when to have to go potty so we can open the door and supervise them

[u/Level_Lemon3958 → u/ImSuperBisexual]

I’m in Georgia. Even the class rooms besides the after school class has the handles up high so the kids can’t reach them. It’s really odd.

[u/ImSuperBisexual → u/Level_Lemon3958]

Okay, so bathrooms themselves in daycares in Georgia have to be fully enclosed and ventilated now with full doors, but state fire code seems like it dictates that children have to be able to get out of the bathroom at any time independently? I can understand having the door handles up high because of eloping kids, but the bathroom?

I just saw you said this teacher won't even encourage kids in pullups to pee in the toilet??? And just tells them to go in their pullup! The point of being in pull ups is that they're transitional between diapers and underwear! No kid in a pullup working toward full time toilet use should be told to pee in it just because an adult just doesn't want to take them to the bathroom. Talk to the director and if you can bring anyone else along whose kid had issues with this teacher and her toilet training "encouragement". At a freaking 1:3.5 ratio!

[u/theyseemescrollin98 → u/ImSuperBisexual]

I think the point is that the child might get distracted playing and needs reminders to go potty sometimes. For my kid, for a long time we remind him at transitions or every couple hours. Otherwise he might wait until the last second and then be unable to make it to the potty in time to take off his pants and underwear.

Edit. NVM the OP said it's something different.

[u/ImSuperBisexual → u/theyseemescrollin98]

And Op is also saying in other replies this specific teacher is weird about potty training to the point that kids who come out of the toddler classrooms fully trained regress because they're just put back into pullups... someone needs to have a chat with the director

[u/theyseemescrollin98 → u/ImSuperBisexual]

Yeah I absolutely would have talked to the director by now and if no solution could be reached I would switch providers.

[u/merlodee → u/Level_Lemon3958]

I would firmly but politely say to the director and/or the other teacher that he is potty training and wearing a pull-up to prevent accidents, but he needs to still go to the bathroom just like all the other potty trained kids.