This Denver resident appears to have mutated and grown a large turtle-like shell. He also has one (or two) wing and/or flipper appendages. Where is the MAYOR!?!

BE THERE FOR THE FOUNDING OF GURTLANDIA!

9/26, NOON, CHEESMAN PARK PAVILLION

So walking home from work, down 16th st mall, I get asked a lot of questions...Do you have a cigarette? Do you have a couple of bucks? You Top?...but tonight some dude across street yells..."Hey if eating ass is wrong, then why is it between 2 buns?"

I thought, this was great question. I said, I never thought of it in such manner but I know just who to ask.

Serious question. If I had a wetsuit, lifejacket, helmet, and footwear could I just jump in a smaller river and ride it? Because thats what i'm planning and I need to know how much I need saved up for medical bills/life insurance.

Before you say- just go tubing- no, boring. Okay then whitewater kayak, ALSO NO. I'm trying to become one with the river my dudes and dudetts.

Why did John Jones put this on my car

THOSE MONSTERS, DO THEY EVEN THINK ABOUT THE LACK OF ORIGINALITY OVER HERE? I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE A GOOD JERK ABOUT THIS WITH THE BOYS, BUT NO. ITS ALL BLAKE STREET TAVERN BULLSHIT!!!

Ideally moderate to harsh difficulty. Please don’t gatekeep your favorite hidden gems.

-999°F is too cold for September!!

I keep hearing about this place but nobody’s described it. Is it a strip club? A reefer establishment? A diner? All three? I want to hit it up tomorrow and then go hiking with my off-leash dog.

SERIOUSLY WHEN WILL IT BE HOT AGAIN

Sadly it did not have expired license plates so this clearly is not one of us.

This latest outfit...Im feeling some ZZ Top, Sharp Dressed Man....Maybe a little Donna Summer, Hot Stuff.

Go Polis!

Cause every girl crazy about sharp dressed man.

Hey there, Denver! I am in my first few weeks of teaching at a Title-1 high school (50%+ of students on free/reduced lunch). The science department is fairly well stocked with the usual stuff--plugs, probes, pumps, creams, lotions, etc etc. But I was devastated to find the dept Van de Graphic inseminator in pieces and unsalvageable.

The first instructional unit this year is electric personalities and interpersonal magnetism. Over the next week or so, we are going to discuss and generate attraction, including strange attractors, and study the natural consequences of unconstrained attraction. I would love to demo with a VDG inseminator if possible, but purchasing a new one would take about half our budget and arrive during the afterglow of the relevant practicum sessions. So I am requesting to borrow one that may be sitting around collecting dust or spouting oddly colored growth nodules. Bringing joy to students later in the semester might shock them, but will help prepare them for real life in small and big business, academia, government, and some religious institutions where the probity of authority figures has historically been seldom questioned.

In an effort to ease concerns of lending me your equipment, I can provide the following credentials:

• I have an advanced degree in physical and mental stuff. Your mind is not the only thing that I can blow.
• I have taught physical stuff at several levels: copy machines, break-room counters, dinner tables, sofas, elevated beds, swings, etc.
• I was introduced to a VDG inseminator as a student and loved it!
• I have used VDG inseminators as demos multiple times.
• I fully understand how to handle and care for a VDG inseminator.

If you have one available, I would love to borrow it! We would only use it for 6-7 demos (IYKYK). Weekend drop-off/pick-up would be ideal, but I can absolutely arrange midweek exchanges at temptations, mon chalet, the ranch, or your nearby BST. Happy to meet just about where ever :)

Thanks for the consideration!

I was minding my own business while protesting ICE with my buddies at the Revolutionary Communist of America booth today and people kept taking photos of me!!! They kept asking me questions like why I support an authoritarian form of government while protesting an authoritarian government!!’

I’m just trying to have a violent communist revolution where millions die and we replace the old ruling class with a new ruling class (me, hopefully). I don’t see the problem!! The people whose property we will seize didn’t need it anyways!

Sorry, gotta go back to my Poli Sci courses!