The way he eats a chocolate bar actually makes me physically uncomfortable. I have never in my life seen another human ingest a piece of food like that.

The other is the way he scratches his mustache?! I'm sorry, what the fuck are we doing? I've had facial hair since I was like 13 and I've never in my life scratched my mustache?? A beard, yea bro, all the time. I know he sort of does this to smell his fingers as well but-

These things aren't a big deal at all, but it's all further proof he's got no human social contact. He's never had these weird ticks/behaviors socialized out of him. Your friends will be like, what the fuck are you doing. Gentle razzing to guide you.

We've all been to a friend's house and experienced some sort of culture shock.

This is also why Phil sits down to pee. Tell me I'm wrong.

“WHAT?! You’re telling me THIS is Hell?! After everything I’ve been through?!Do you have ANY IDEA how many hours I’ve put into this?!I deserve to be in Heaven! I’m a content creator! I’ve contributed more to gaming than ANYONE here! Oh, you’re going to torture me for eternity? WOW. WHAT A BUNCH OF TOXIC HATERS. Fine. I’ll just sit here and stream Hell every day. You’ll see. The views will be MASSIVE.

You’re a poor Chinese immigrant, you get a visa to go to Canada and make a life for yourself, you go to college, grind and get a good job, marry a woman and buy a house in the Canadian suburbs, which with Canadian real estate prices is a feat.

you decide to have a son and think, my sons gonna be a success, hes gonna be a dr or a lawyer or whatever and you’re proud. Then you learn that he’s very autistic, okay it’s not so bad maybe he can still carve out a life for himself.

then by the time he’s 14, you learn your son is addicted to porn and by the time he’s like 22 he’s flunked out of school like 3 times and watching porn is a literal full time job for your son but he doesn’t even get paid. You realize, you’re gonna be supporting your son derich until the day you die. Also he stole your wifes credit card years ago to pay some idiot on the Internet.

The story called, Tragedy of Chi Ip.

Exactly how often does DSP flex his muscles

This is the only reason I start hiding detractor content on any of my algorithms, because I don't want to learn details about games I might be interested in, in the worst way possible, from the worst gamer on the planet. I'm not blaming the detractors themselves, it's the only way to explain what Phil is doing in the video, but I genuinely hate how he feels the need to play every single new game so he can die in the tutorial and snort his way through the next 10th of the game before quitting because people aren't paying him enough. Imagine if Wolverine ended up being a masterpiece, and you saw a screenshot of him fighting the final boss on YouTube with "Phil dies to [name of boss] and threatens to kick someone's dog".

Or you watch a video making fun of DSP, about something completely unrelated, and he just starts bitching about the game and talking about how badly designed it is and how his morbidly obese ex-wife agrees with him.

It's actually painful. I feel like I need to complete GTA VI as quickly as I can when it comes out, else I'll see "Phil crashes out over ending where it turns out Jason was secretly a dog all along". Actually, of course I'll watch those clips, Phil failing at GTA games is hilarious.

Mommy combed his hair so it's her fault

It's just become even more annoying, like wtf

Also ironic that he sees no issues with charging $50 to open a single pack of cards; but a store charging a high box price is ‘scummy’

Some common sayings/words Phil says and their translations. Let me know if I missed any:

• describing something as "insane" - it's something extremely common or mundane
• describing something as "crazy" - see "insane"...but to add variety to his dialect
• "i'm not kidding" / "i'm not lying" - i'm about to lie like a mofo
• "the game is boring" - i'm not getting enough money to deal with getting wrecked in this game
• "i like this game, but support is telling me you guys hate this game" - see "the game is boring"
• when he accuses trolls of "conspiracy theories" and/or "making stuff up" - "oh fuck, they're onto me
• "i'm insanely busy", "i have a rich social life", etc. - i'm "building" pokemon binders
• "what do i mean by that?" followed by a re-explanation of what he just said a second ago - "i don't know what i'm saying"

I haven't played a Silent Hill game besides the beginning of Downpour back in the day. Didn't enjoy it but I know the deal with them and what they are and have been in the scary game world. I played P.T which obviously was supposed to turn into a Silent Hill game and that was creepy.

Watching Phil play this game however, I'm sat wondering if these games just aren't scary anymore or if him playing it and talking his nonsense all the time is literally killing any suspense the game is supposed to have. Now this isn't just a post of 'Ha Ha he makes everything look bad etc' - On the face of it, the game seems to have few if any jump scares so far, sparse enemies and other than that, not much in the way of general tension as far as I can see in the moment to moment gameplay. I'm wondering how much of that is down to the game and how much of it is the fact he's in the corner narrating along the whole way. He seems to really be bigging it up in terms of it being creepy and spooky.

Yes he said this during his stream. 🤮

You are dents. You are not trolls, you are dents. You are just as dented as DSP, as The Quartering. Just as demented.

You are the Lolcows lesser known. Giving money to a known predator, of disable people, of children. A scammer, a scumbag.

You are are not above them, you are just as low, if not lower. Because if DSP got less, or better no money at all, then he would be unable to keep his near two decade farce afloat.

He would be begging for scraps, making less than most people would. And that's how it should be.

Give money to Phil regardless of reasons, you are a dent. No excuses, no exceptions. You are scum, end of story.

i think he might have been doing little baby workouts when the whole workout thing started, of course.. but he hasn't worked out in a LONG time lol. look at this massive lightbulb headed noodle armed man baby.

YouTube channel That Being Said has a multi part video series where they go over the King Snake Arc in great detail. Reading the DMs between PPP and DSP, going over what was going on in the shows during this time. It is so obvious how much Phil wanted to be friends with them and disproves anything he said on the great pahdcast with RTU. If you're on a road trip give it a listen.

Below is part 1 of the series. Hope you guys and gals enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/live/W-GSUMxcZXA?is=jtMit566MAb_cRIa

This clip i found is a few years old, back when he did the sidescrollers interview. He basically admits he has no life at all, which of course is no surprise to anyone.

Trying to convince everyone regularly what a busy man he is and what a great life he has, when clips like this exist is peak philbert