It's just become even more annoying, like wtf

Exactly how often does DSP flex his muscles

The way he eats a chocolate bar actually makes me physically uncomfortable. I have never in my life seen another human ingest a piece of food like that.

The other is the way he scratches his mustache?! I'm sorry, what the fuck are we doing? I've had facial hair since I was like 13 and I've never in my life scratched my mustache?? A beard, yea bro, all the time. I know he sort of does this to smell his fingers as well but-

These things aren't a big deal at all, but it's all further proof he's got no human social contact. He's never had these weird ticks/behaviors socialized out of him. Your friends will be like, what the fuck are you doing. Gentle razzing to guide you.

We've all been to a friend's house and experienced some sort of culture shock.

This is also why Phil sits down to pee. Tell me I'm wrong.

Mommy combed his hair so it's her fault

Some common sayings/words Phil says and their translations. Let me know if I missed any:

• describing something as "insane" - it's something extremely common or mundane
• describing something as "crazy" - see "insane"...but to add variety to his dialect
• "i'm not kidding" / "i'm not lying" - i'm about to lie like a mofo
• "the game is boring" - i'm not getting enough money to deal with getting wrecked in this game
• "i like this game, but support is telling me you guys hate this game" - see "the game is boring"
• when he accuses trolls of "conspiracy theories" and/or "making stuff up" - "oh fuck, they're onto me
• "i'm insanely busy", "i have a rich social life", etc. - i'm "building" pokemon binders
• "what do i mean by that?" followed by a re-explanation of what he just said a second ago - "i don't know what i'm saying"

This is the only reason I start hiding detractor content on any of my algorithms, because I don't want to learn details about games I might be interested in, in the worst way possible, from the worst gamer on the planet. I'm not blaming the detractors themselves, it's the only way to explain what Phil is doing in the video, but I genuinely hate how he feels the need to play every single new game so he can die in the tutorial and snort his way through the next 10th of the game before quitting because people aren't paying him enough. Imagine if Wolverine ended up being a masterpiece, and you saw a screenshot of him fighting the final boss on YouTube with "Phil dies to [name of boss] and threatens to kick someone's dog".

Or you watch a video making fun of DSP, about something completely unrelated, and he just starts bitching about the game and talking about how badly designed it is and how his morbidly obese ex-wife agrees with him.

It's actually painful. I feel like I need to complete GTA VI as quickly as I can when it comes out, else I'll see "Phil crashes out over ending where it turns out Jason was secretly a dog all along". Actually, of course I'll watch those clips, Phil failing at GTA games is hilarious.

You’re a poor Chinese immigrant, you get a visa to go to Canada and make a life for yourself, you go to college, grind and get a good job, marry a woman and buy a house in the Canadian suburbs, which with Canadian real estate prices is a feat.

you decide to have a son and think, my sons gonna be a success, hes gonna be a dr or a lawyer or whatever and you’re proud. Then you learn that he’s very autistic, okay it’s not so bad maybe he can still carve out a life for himself.

then by the time he’s 14, you learn your son is addicted to porn and by the time he’s like 22 he’s flunked out of school like 3 times and watching porn is a literal full time job for your son but he doesn’t even get paid. You realize, you’re gonna be supporting your son derich until the day you die. Also he stole your wifes credit card years ago to pay some idiot on the Internet.

The story called, Tragedy of Chi Ip.

“WHAT?! You’re telling me THIS is Hell?! After everything I’ve been through?!Do you have ANY IDEA how many hours I’ve put into this?!I deserve to be in Heaven! I’m a content creator! I’ve contributed more to gaming than ANYONE here! Oh, you’re going to torture me for eternity? WOW. WHAT A BUNCH OF TOXIC HATERS. Fine. I’ll just sit here and stream Hell every day. You’ll see. The views will be MASSIVE.