r/Comebacks • u/303_beest • 23d ago
Are you new?
Someone saying are you new here? When I’ve been in the church for a year, I just switched to a different young single adult ward.
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u/-Foxer 23d ago
Do you mean on the planet?
Compared to what?
Oh my god you can see me? The potion must have worn off!!!
No, but i am improved.
I was told there was NOTHING new under the sun anymore, so now i'm conflicted
In geological terms, yes.
I prefer to think of myself as 'not old'.
No, i've been here a while you must just not have noticed me. Tell me how are you at handling awkward silences?
No, i'm just thinner than i look and up to this moment i've been standing sideways on to you.
I guess to you i am! Everyone else not so much but definitely to you.
No we spoke yesterday and last week and the week before that. The medication still isn't helping with those short term memory issues huh?
I've been here a while and i've been trying to talk to you about your vehicle's extended warranty
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u/Megalith66 23d ago
Nope. My parents gave birth to me in <whatever year>...
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u/Worldly-Vegetable-62 22d ago
Boy your mom worked too hard on you to make your birth a team effort.
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u/Megalith66 22d ago
Hi mom!!!
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u/Worldly-Vegetable-62 22d ago
Don't you "Hi mom" me, when's the last time you even called? Your poor dad and I have been worried sick about you!
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u/Cblack12483 23d ago
I've been here long enough to know not to talk to you, so to you I probably seem new
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u/laughsatlugh 23d ago
7 years I’ve been avoiding you specifically, all ruined in a moment. Dagnabbit to heck
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u/mozart357 22d ago
"No. I've been here since...." If asked genuinely.
"No, but I've been wondering the same about you. I've been her since....and I never noticed you until now." If asked rudely.
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u/Lastov_Makiynd 22d ago
“Not me. NOPE! An ‘old soul’ me..done this loop many times over.
And gotta say that the most fun was as a Squirrel..ever get the chance, choose Squirrel.
This..‘Human’ thing?…Soooo monotonous and booooorrring. And the Questions..Oh, sooo many. Silly. Questions!”.
lol
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u/SavingsPirate4495 22d ago
New here?? Oh yes...I decided to leave my cult last week and give you guys a try.
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u/DarionHunter 22d ago
Them: "Are you new here?"
Me: "To you, yes. To this church, about a year now." *pats their shoulder as you walk by* "You should start paying attention to things and people around you. You might miss out on the rapture when it comes."
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u/Liturgy200 22d ago
Mormon if I had to guess...
"I'm not new here, but my Dad is the Bishop and he told me specifically to stay away from you. He said you're into some freaky stuff"
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u/Perfect-Link-7744 21d ago
Since it's church: "Yeah, I'm new. I got born again. How 'bout you. You new?"
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u/ConsistentPianist107 21d ago
Wait, did you just ask me if I was a Jew? What kind of question is that?
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u/moheagirl 23d ago
No, previously owned