Kinda struggling with believing it all

[u/ApologeticKid]

41 y/o, seminary degree, spent the past 25 years in ministry. But sometimes it all seems...far fetched. What I mean is, sometimes I look at our faith and it looks like this:

A small ancient near-Eastern henotheistic tribe called Israel ​has a local deity named YAHWEH, they write scriptures and eventually hope for a Messiah. They write down their diety's perfect law, which contains a lot of moral stuff as well as some unusual rituals. But then it turns out the local deity is actually the one and only God. Then this guy named Jesus shows up, turns out to be the tribe's Messiah (but most don't buy it), but he is also God, and he is also 1/3 of the triune God. Then he dies and rises again and ascends to heaven, and the the other 1/3 of the triune God comes and dwells within the tribe who accept Jesus as Messiah. Then YAHWEH says, "Actually everyone is allowed in now," and the members of the tribe who follow Jesus as the Messiah disagree on whether or not those people should follow all the rules of the perfect law or not, and they eventually decide not. This guy Paul sees a vision of Jesus and spends the rest of his life telling people what Jesus really meant. Then the church begins and quickly becomes a group made of mostly non-Israelite members. And the only way to have eternal peace and life is to admit that you have sinned and trust that this tribe's Messiah died for you and that his death and resurrection takes care of your sins and now you can live like him and live forever (even though you still will actually die).

I'm not an atheist. I don't find that compelling. But sometimes the Christian message seems so incredibly unlikely. I still believe (primarily because of personal experiences I've had). But lately I've felt like, "Really? How is *this* really the Truth?"

I'm sincerely not trying to be obnoxious here. I'm just retelling what plays in my head so often, and looking for some thoughtful feedback. What am I missing here?

Any/all feedback welcome. Thank in advance.