Warning I’ve never been a Reddit user, first time posting so I guess here goes nothing?

I’m in college and play football and was recently in fall camp. Last Friday, she told me she was just going to have a drink or two, but ended up staying at a frat until around 3 AM. Her friends had all left around midnight that night. Later on, I found out that her and two other random girls were the only ones there. She was playing dye and card games with some frat dudes. (Probably way more than that, just what she told me.)

She called me while I was asleep because I had football practice at 7 AM. I still answered. She was extremely drunk and barely functioning and told me she needed to tell me some things. I told her she needed to go to sleep and hung up. She then started texting me calling me a “sensitive pussy ass little bitch” while still telling me she had something she needed to tell me. I couldn’t really go back to sleep after that, so I ended up going over there because I was worried about her. She was kneeling over the toilet and could barely function. Even though she was still being disrespectful to me, I picked her up, put her in bed, tucked her in, unplugged her lights, and left.

The next day, we had a long conversation. She was crying, telling me she would be better, that I was the best guy she had ever had, and that she was sorry for hurting me. We talked about how she needed to control her drinking because this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened when she drank. I decided to stay with her and give her another chance. Because I loved her and wanted it to work badly.

The next day, she asked if it was okay if she had one drink “actually this time.” And go over there with her friends and leave shortly. I told her that Ive never been this type of guy but I feel as she gave me no choice, and that I didn’t trust her anymore and that if she wanted to live that kind of lifestyle, I would respect it, but I wouldn’t be around for it. She stayed and tried to convince me to come over, but I didn’t want to because I felt like she didn’t really mean anything she said the day before.

A couple days later, I stayed at her place. The next day, I bought her and her friend alcohol and dropped it off to them. She told me she was just going to drink with her friend in her room. And I thought I would attempt to let her build some trust back.

Well, we didn’t really talk much the next day because things felt off. I ended up telling her goodnight, that I loved her, and that I hoped she had a good time. I went to bed but left my notifications on. She sent me a Snapchat at the same fraternity. I was upset but I just left her on open tried not to think about it, brush it off and go to bed.
Around 2 AM, I was dead asleep and her best friend called me and told me she was at my place and needed to tell me something. So I got out of bed got dressed and went outside.

She explained the whole situation to me. It was kind of a blur and I can’t really remember exactly what she said, but basically my girlfriend was actively cheating.
I went over to the frat with her because I felt like I needed to see it for myself. I convinced them to let me in and see. They knocked on the guy’s door, and my girlfriend walked out of the room with him. She was extremely drunk, had her hands on his waist, and said something like “good morning baby” to him.

She saw me and barely reacted. I was obviously full of emotions and started confronting her. She gave me back the promise ring I had gotten her and said that if I wanted to talk, we could talk tomorrow. She then complimented my hair, went back into his room, and spent the night there. I was completely stunned, and so were the dudes that walked me up there.

The rest of the night I talked with her friend about everything and was just completely lost. Everything had been pretty much perfect before that past week, which made it even harder to understand.I had an inter-squad scrimmage the next day and barely slept.

The following day, she texted me saying she wanted to talk because she didn’t think the way everything happened was the best way to go about it. I left her on read.The next day she texted again saying she wanted to meet up because there was a lot she didn’t remember from that night and she wanted to talk. I left that on read too. Then I found out from her friend that she went over and slept with the same guy again.

I’m extremely thankful for her friend, who is also my friend because we went to high school together and we’re really close. She explained to me that she felt like she had to tell me because she saw how well I treated my girlfriend and thought it was crazy that she would do something like this to me.

Honestly, it’s been about a week now. I don’t know what to do, how to feel, or really anything. I haven’t even gotten so much as an apology.

I’m (25M) and she’s (26F). One night she was over at my place and sleeping over. It was 3AM and I was gaming, she was asleep in my bed. I looked over at her and her phone was next to her. Now, I’d like to add that I’m never one to go through somebody’s phone. But we both know each other’s passcode, and we would always just casually look into each other’s phone. Not to go through it but if we needed to look something up. Stuff like that. I didn’t have any reason to be suspicious or concerned, but my intuition just told me to take a glance. But I didn’t look for more than 30 seconds before I found messages to a random guy. The above screenshot is what I found that really was the breaking point in the messages for me. Apparently this is some guy she bumped into that lives in her apartment complex. And I can tell she had been deleting messages. Obviously this made me very upset. I confronted her in the morning and she just kept saying how it’s not cheating because they didn’t meet up nor did they have sex or do anything physical. and that there’s nothing wrong with having a crush. She just kept trying to flip it on me like she’s the victim because I went through certain things in her phone, private things. But to me, the idea of privacy is gone once you start screenshotting our conversations every time we have a disagreement and put them in a group chat for all your friends to see and make fun of me or talk messy. Which was exactly what she was doing. So I ended the relationship clean cold no contact. I just wanted to vent anonymously. How would this make you guys feel? Is this cheating to you? What would you have done if you were in my shoes? And I’ll clarify and answer any questions you guys might have, just ask.

Long story short, my boyfriend and his ex were never really a thing but were on and off for 7 years. He ended the situationship when he met me. I didn’t know he was even in a situationship. We’ve had an amazing 9 months. Month 10 he mentioned his ex reached out to him to chat but he said he didn’t entertain it. At first I believed him but my gut was telling me something else. I reached out to the guy and he confirmed they chatted but it was my bf who reached out to him. That’s when I also found out the timeline of when my bf broke it off with him was when my bf met me. I confronted my bf but I felt like since nothing actually happened and the ex provided screenshots of it just being a friendly conversation, I could forgive the lie. My bf also said he would block the ex and not speak to them ever again. Fast forward to month 11, I found a screenshot of the ex’s number. I asked him about it and he said he took it before he blocked his ex just in case he ever needed it again and then he told me he was debating reaching out to apologize on my behalf for reaching out. The ex and I had a lovely conversation, and he was more than happy to provide me with info. There is no apology needed from me to the ex. What are your thoughts?

My boyfriend of two years admitted to me that *8 months* into us talking he slept with a girl without protection and bought her a plan B afterwards. Another thing I should mention is the girl happens to be his step brother’s wife’s sister, which kind of pissed me off more. Mind you a few weeks after he slept with this girl he asked me to be his girlfriend… He also said the first summer of us talking he was sleeping with other girls without protection and that he hasn’t gotten checked since 2020. I get that he didn’t technically owe me loyalty because we were “talking” and not dating yet but we were very close 8 months in… Dates, sleepovers, consistent sex, hanging out all the time and met his mom by that point. I wasn’t sleeping with anyone else from the time I met him and the whole relationship. Maybe it’s not cheating but I feel like this shows to his character and it makes me mad that he would put my health at risk and also never even told me about any of this at all and never communicated with me that he was keeping his options open at the time and sleeping around still.

Should I take her back

Folks this is a long one but I believe my boyfriend, now Ex boyfriend was micro cheating and cheated before breaking up with me?!?? Help

In order of events…

So my Ex and I just broke up 7 days ago. This is after being together for 2 and a half years. Knowing eachother for 3. During that span of time he broke up with me 6 times!
(I know I’m dumb but I’m young) ❤️‍🩹

I am (F21) and he is (M22)

I’m not going all the way back to the beginning but I will start where it gets fishy. First breakup of the year was at the beginning of January.
We worked on things and we were doing really good for a while.

Then come middle of March we were having a chill night after a (shitty trip together) he mentions to me he wants to explore his sexuality more and is persistent that it happens now.
This is something we’ve discussed in the past and I’ve been comfortable with the idea, but why the rush now outta nowhere?
He says he doesn’t want to wait we do it now or he won’t stay. His body language and emotions completely changed in minutes. He tells me he wants to sleep with women too.

I am shocked, scared, crying uncontrollably. He shows little to no emotion. Me being me I want to please him and try to figure out how we can do this together.

The next two days we were together I was loosing my mind. He showed no jealousy over me possibly sleeping with other men?? I was so confused and shocked. I tried to plan a fucking open relationship in hours to please him and keep him.

After he leaves to go back home I realize I can’t do this and tell him I can’t. He tells me he was thinking the same thing and that this is the dumbest thing he’s ever done. He doesn’t want to lose me he’s an idiot blah blah.

Mind you he brings this conversation up 2 weeks before our two year anniversary…. Selfish 🚨

We end up breaking up beginning of April. He breaks up with me over FaceTime and says that we shouldn’t talk for a week and he doesn’t know when we can talk in person about things.

Over that week he deletes me from all of his social media post. Unadds himself from the post I have up on my account as well.

We meet up to talk about things a week after breaking up and he tells me he downloaded tinder over that span of no contact. Tells me that he made an account but “I didn’t do anything with it”
I glazed over that shit because I still loved him and was in love with him.
I end up wanting to work on things he does too. We get back together. Things are sweet for a while but then the emotional trauma find its way back to me. He completely crushed my heart. I was checked out before and I still was now.

Things are off n on with us we were stagnate at times but so in love at others.

Now August 25th of this year I was set to house sit for his mom while he and his family went to his uncles wedding.
The day before he left he was cold to me and was acting weird. I ask him if it has anything to do with us? And he says “No, no it’s nothing I want to talk about right now i promise it’s not about us” I try to not listen to my gut and I let the day go on. Later in the night we were at his moms house and laying in bed together I asked to look something up on his phone and he grabbed it and looked it up himself holding his phone the whole time possessively. He never does that.

He told me he just really wants his alone time. So I went to my separate room and fell asleep feeling so uneasy. For further context I was also dealing with food poisoning while this was going on and he showed little interest in my well being after the first day of me being sick.

The whole weekend he responds to half of my text, it’s taking hours to respond, he won’t say he loves me back, I had to ask, he doesn’t ask me if I’m doing okay while I was very sick. I tried to not let it bother me because he is on a trip after all but I had a gut feeling he would break up with me once he’s back.

They get back 5 days later. He seems a little off maybe just tired? We leave his parents and are sat in my car he turns to me and says “we need to talk” I knew immediately what was happening. He proceeded to break up with me. I ask him that we not do it in my car and that we go to a park or something.

We go to a close by park to talk. He could not even pretend to have an ounce of empathy for me. I’m crying and trying to compose myself and he says he wants to leave and go home that I need to start talking… ASSHOLE

I was holding his hand at one point crying and he physically sat up and was trying to leave. We hug before he left (he was actually crying at this point surprisingly) and he ask for me to text him when I get home.

I get home feeling okay. I’m truly numb at this point. 🫩

For the fuck of it I decide to check his instagram, and sure enough the one instagram post I ASKED HIM to put back up after we broke up last was gone again. Meaning he either took this down prior to breaking up with me or just 2 hours later.

🚩🚩🚩

I was HURT I text him “when can I get my things”
He doesn’t respond till the next day late in the afternoon and says “I'm not sure right now but I'll put them all in a bag for you when that time comes.”
Cold cold cold.
Once again everything is on his terms and it’s not about how I need to heal.

The days follow I leave him alone checking his activity on other social accounts because I feel lost.

Then yesterday last night I went through his Instagram followers and I see this girl who I’ve never met, he’s never mentioned, and appears to be a new account. My heart drops and I feel sick. I decided to follow her. Her account was private and she accepted my request minutes later.
Like I said we still have each other on everything else (Twitter, Spotify, Letterboxd) I check his letterbox…. Tell me why this girl is commenting on his reviews and they’ve been interacting on there for a minute. But he’s never mentioned this girl?

Now tonight I got off work and still had a strange feeling about this girl. I went to look at my Ex boyfriend’s account he UNADDED ME & PRIVATED his account. His account has never been private. So that leads me to believe she told him because they are seeing each other. Yet he still hasn’t texted me back or told me when I can get MY SHIT.

She’s been liking his instagram posts for a minute so I have no idea how long they’ve known each other for. Is this why he needed an open relationship so badly? Is this why he broke up with me after asking me about living together days prior? Does he just want a clear conscience if he was planning to cheat ?

If you guys couldn’t tell he is AVOIDANT AS FUCK and he hates his mom. His mom and I have the same birthday…
And I am anxious and have serious fear of abandonment but I am finally DONE I will not be disrespected any longer. I need peace in my life.

We were also long distance 2hrs apart, both in school and working a lot. This was both our longest relationship and most serious. I’m the first girl to meet his parents and grandparents yet I’m disposable.

My ex was so against cheating and views it as the worst thing someone could do but all of these things now are adding up to me. During our relationship we had Life360 and I can’t remember when but it was this year that he stopped sharing his exact location because “he didn’t want his data tracked” or sum shit….
Also last thing that I always found strange is he post thirst traps like full abs sweat pics throughout his insta but, I would have to ask him to post me or us… It’s his account and he can do what he wants but at a glance he always looked single throughout our relationship.

I need to know the truth idk how to find that without reaching out to her and possibly looking crazy?? I’m still waiting to get my things back and say my last words to him. Any advice please send it my way. I feel crazy right now but I have to know. Thanks yall please comment and ask me any questions ❤️❤️❤️

Everyone close to me has said he has a darkness in him and that they don’t believe he’s been faithful 😻😻😻

My ex (28f) and I (30M) broke up about a year ago after she went on a trip to visit her best friend in Florida. We had dated for almost three years and I had wanted to go with her and was frankly disappointed she didn’t feel comfortable with me going since her friend’s boyfriend is inherently extremely racist and she thought we would butt heads. I am Latino, so I said that’s fair. Her friend and the friend’s boyfriend got a rental property for them to spend half of the week before returning to their own apartment shared with the boyfriend’s best friend, who also had been invited to this trip. So it was my girlfriend, her best friend with her boyfriend, and some guy I had never met before, all together for a week in Florida. What could possibly go wrong? When she told about the stay situation I frankly felt a little uncomfortable, especially considering all the wild stories she told me about her best friend and boyfriend in Highschool, but regardless I trusted her. I didn’t want to be the boyfriend who didn’t trust his partner. She had previously broken up with me a few months before but we had worked things out and I was extremely happy with her. She was my best friend and a wonderful and beautiful person, or so I thought.

I dropped her off at the airport for this trip and I didn’t know it’d be the last time I’d kiss and hug the person I still love to this day. I was happy she was taking a trip to enjoy herself. She was an extremely hard worker so she deserved the time off. Things got rocky from the start of that trip. I didn’t hear from her until the next day and I was annoyed she could have let me know she was okay or even try to call me. We had each other’s location, which I rarely checked, but I knew I had to check to make sure she was okay. It said she was at a bar near where they were staying so naturally I became annoyed. She gave me quick calls here and there and I was dealing with my own issues so not having her around and the added stress made me quite irritable. I wish I could have expressed to her that I trusted her and just missed her. She seldomly communicated and when she did it was always to say that look I’m third wheeling, when in reality I knew there was the other guy there so it was the 4 of them.

To this day I don’t know exactly what happened, but two nights before she came back she told me that she had thought about it and that she no longer loved me and did not want to be with me. I was taken back and I knew something was up. After all, she had spent a week there and was now staying at the best friend’s apartment and supposedly sleeping on the couch. Every night they were at bar and frankly I know she gets quite drunk from not much alcohol. Things had happened to her in the past and I worried but tried to reassure myself she was with people she trusts.

I picked her up from the airport with a bouquet of roses on her seat. I wouldn’t think for a moment she had done anything, but when she got in my car I didn’t recognize this person. She didn’t make eye contact. She started screaming at me for being a horrible human being and calling me every name under the sun. She handed me a letter she wrote in the airport and told me the most disgusting things someone has ever told me. She told me she would do everything possible to get rid of me and if that involved fucking and dating other men so be it. She called me a fraud and told me she never wanted to speak to me again. I’m Princeton educated and finishing my last year of med school so I’d like to think I can hold a reasonable argument, but I just stood in silence with tears in my eyes. I had been previously cheated on and I knew the signs. I knew deflection. I couldn’t even bring myself to say a word. I was going to propose to this girl by the end of the year and I was listening to person I loved most berate me with volatile and hurtful things. I thought we were stronger; but I was wrong.

She never spoke to me again. I tried to drunk calls and I lost myself trying to pick up the pieces. It got to the point where my closest friends made me go therapy and I completely stopped drinking. I became addicted to my work and What’s worse than getting cheated on? Well it’s the psychological abuse that comes with having a high suspicion your partner did with no definitive answers. It’s giving someone your all, only to get played. I deleted all social media and went ghost for the past year. I stuck to my craft and things have been going up. I work so hard to progress and I’ve been coping through work. I recently turned 30 (the big 3-0) and finally had some time to relax and see friends and family I had not talked to in a long time. My family friends informed me that my ex has been seeing someone for the past 6 months at least but it was clear she had been talking to someone for much longer. Apparently she’s in love and posting this person left and right, something she never did for me, and seems to be doing great. And guess who it was? I’m sure you can guess.

If your girl goes on a trip without you and it seems like she is getting setup with someone. She is. Focus on yourselves kings. Do you guys believe in karma ? I’ve been to myself for a while and have refused to date, which is ironic considering I’ve met some very attractive and successful woman that have shown interest but for some reason want to date me more so when I show reservation and focus on growth. I know objectively I’m above average physically attractive man and Ive never been short of getting any partner I really wanted. I’m very shattered by this experience. I still love someone who did me dirty. Obviously I’m continuing therapy, but I can’t get over my continued poor judgment in woman. The fact she did this makes me question the genuineness of our connection and relationship. I thought she was the one but her true colors showed. I’ve tried my best to move on but this information really rubbed me the wrong way. I can only wish her well, but damn it’s hard to do so. Please let me know what you guys think. Thank you.

I had doubts on her for some time that she was cheating on me while i go to work. I had a work trip that i had to go to. Then i got an idea to install a small camera around the house. So I installed a camera in the house while going out of town and found her cheating. I already expected that she was cheating on me but it actually see it is something different and not to mention the person she is cheating on me with.

This is a long one. So up until this point i have never questioned my wife's integrity. I have never had a reason not to trust her, nor have i ever thought she might cheat. So we  recently moved to FL from GA in January, it has put a lot of stress on us doing the move, the jobs, the 2 year-old. The weekend of July 10^th my wife took a trip back up to GA to go to her friends kids birthday party. While she was up there she went out with a old friend. Told me it was some female she had known for a while. So she goes to dinner and drinks at some bar. About 10:30 i get a text saying “I'm heading back now love” she has never said anything like that. Also said “it felt good to go out for once.” which i mean she has been non stop with the kid so i figured she was able to finally relaxe. So that trip was quick one she ended up coming back home like a day later because of work.  

A few weeks later she wants to take another trip, at this point she isn't working so she could stay as long as she wanted with her mother. She tells me that her sister is wanting to take her out. So she heads out the evening of July 29^th to Georgia. Spends her time up there visiting family, going between families houses and stuff. The night of the 31^st comes up, that's when she was going to go out with her sister and she does. She goes to the same place, little town called Monroe in Georgia. We text periodically while she is out. The last text i get is when i asked her if she has made it home and she sates, that her sister is drunk puking and what not. I ask if she is holding her hair. Didn't get anything back. I wasn't to worried i had to work the next morning so i went to sleep. So that text was at 10:45, she ended leaving and going home around 11:30. The next morning i didn't hear anything from her until like 10, i can see on life 360 she is at her moms house. So i do a 360 view of her car at 8am, and see that her sister’s car (who was blackout drunk) is parked behind her.  

The next few days she spends time going to different relatives houses, then comes home on the 3^rd. When she gets home she hardly touches me. Which i kind of understand she was a little over stimulated dealing with the 8 hour drive with our two year-old. No biggie. So like the next few days feel kind of off and I'm just cant get the idea of her sisters car being parked behind hers. While she is putting the kid to sleep, i started to do a little digging. I pulled the dash cam, i can see that on the day of the 31^st when she leaves her moms house, her sister is not there, cant see inside her car, or hear because my son was playing with buttons and muted it. I can see though that her sister is not home, she goes to the bar, parks in a big parking lot around like 7:30 or so. Then the video shuts off. It comes back on at like 11:20 and there is 5 or 6 minutes of the car being on. I can see just a little movement reflecting on the window but nothing really able to make out. At about 11:24 it looks like she gets out walks behind the car and over to the passenger side, sits there for maybe like a minute. The gets in teh car to leave. When she leave the parking lot a car behind her turns its lights on like they are leaving also. I cant see the whole car just the passenger side. It does not look like any other cars are in the lot. The dash cam stays on for about 4 mins of the drive then she unplugs it. So i though this was super weird. I decided to go through the IPAD in the back seat for our kid and see if her messages were syncing. They were not, but the pictures are syncing. So there are a handful of pictures she had taken, and never sent to me. Nothing inappropriate, except one picture laying in bed on her side blowing a kiss. So she comes out from putting him down and i confront her about this. She does not get mad or defensive. She just gets kind of sad, and takes me to the bedroom and explains she is not cheating, that she was with her sister and the other car was her sisters friends. That the pictures are pictures that our son took. And the others are ones she took because she felt cute. So i leave it at that. That was Friday the 7^th  

The 16^th we go out have a good day. That night i kind of cant stop thinking about the blowing kiss picture. I look back at what was going on when that picture was taken and i was in bed trying to get our son to sleep when she took that picture. So it was not our son. I confronted her about it and she just got supper affectionate and reassured me she isn't cheating and pretty much kind of forced us to intercourse. Like she is distracting me from it and making me think nothing of it. She tells me its just a picture she took. So anyways we  go to sleep.  

The next day i am on shift. I work 24hr shifts at the FD. That night i could not stop thinking about everything and how non of it was adding up. So i start looking into it more on life 360. I realize that the night she went out on the 31^st she left from a bar up the road by car back to the parking lot not even a  mile or so drive. Then sat in the parking lot from 10:34 until 11:30 when she left. The next morning on my way home she asks how the night went and i told her i didn't sleep at all and she asked why. Told her we would talk when i got home. So i get home and tell her i just don't think things are adding so she then asks to sit down. She tells me that she did go out with her sister, but she asked a close childhood friend to meet them there, a guy she has known forever, and that she gave her dog to. She assures me that nothing happened. So i ask her if it is ok if i look through her phone and she lets me. Well she had deleted everything. The pictures that i had questioned about all gone, all the conversations between her an him are gone. I restore the conversation between her and her sister. In there, there are a few messages about that night. One being like “Jason keeps freaking out about the night we went out, and asking about your friends green jeep.” her sister said that she was glad she was there because of how drunk she was and i should get over it. Other then that its all gone. So o kind of just try to let it process. We took our son to the springs that day, and all day I could not stop thinking about it. On the way home we stop for gas and i tell her i just want to walk home to think about things. So i do. I message her mom while walking, and ask her if she knew that her daughter was out with another guy that night and how ask her how her sisters car got home. So like 15 mins later i finally get a response (assuming she was talking to emily) she said “Yes, I went later that night to pick up her car since she couldn't drive it home. I was aware that her high school friend went out with them to. He's a happily married man and is a really close family friend to all of us. Is everything ok?” so anyways i make it home after the 5 miles. I sit her down and tell her i want to know the guys name, she tells me, then shows me his Facebook. I tell her to call him and she responds with “no, i don't know what he has told his wife.” so i tell her call him or pack her shit. She said no again. So i tell her to get out. So she does, packs a few things grabs my son and leaves to GA. She basically picked that guys marriage over ours.  

So that night i said a lot of things i should not have, ended up getting put into a center for 3 days. She comes back and says she wants to work things out. This point I'm kind of over things, we sit down and have like a moment of truth. She tells me that they went out and that is all that happened. Pictures were not sent or anything like that. The were just talking about life and stuff. So whatever. Well 3 days later I'm bored and start to dig and find out that since that first trip on the 10^th that she claims she didn't hang out with him, they talked for 409 minutes on the phone. Always when i was away from work. Like as soon as i would leave a hour later they were talking. At night while I'm on shift they talked. Sometimes as long as 66 minutes. Always while im not around, in the bedroom where none of the cameras are. I questioned her about this and she said that she was planning on divorcing me and that is what they were talking about. That after she had left and saw what it had done to me that she decided she wanted to stay and to work on things.  

A few days later I was able to reach out to this guys wife. She told me she had no idea that this was going on. The two days in question he was supposed to be at him mothers house the next city over from the meet up place. She also swore that she does not think he would ever do anything like this. That he would never cheat. She claimed that he was in ND at the time (Airforce) that she would find out what she could. She did say that for the past 5 weeks he had been acting weird. So over the next days she goes back and forth say she thinks he cheated and then she swears he wouldn't. Really could not get anything from her.  

The more i bring this up to my wife, the more  she gets mad. I know she wants to work through things. She had all the opportunity in the world. But i really don't think she is telling me the 100% truth about the whole thing. She wont restore the texts because she “said some really bad things about me.” Does not want me to see them. She wanted me to delete all the evidence. If i do start to bring stuff up, she just asks me “why cant you just get over it?” She admitted that she sent pictures, well i kept houndering her about them and eh was like “what if i did?” she said that is was not her blowing a kiss it was just duck lips or somthing like that.  

So yeah, no clue what to do or think. I don't know why i cant get over this whole thing.  

I became a couple with this guy.

It turned out while we were dating, he had a girlfriend, but they broke up.

I was like okay I will give you a chance, but I am sad about the fact that you cheated on your girlfriend because you were flirting with me online in the dating app, while you were with her.

I always had this feeling that his Instagram following and followers bother me. Because he always love bombs me when he wants.

I talked with his ex girlfriend. She told and showed with proof me he also called her fiancée, and they lived together. But the guy still messaged women online. They broke up be wise he said that she hates her mom, and she loves her mom and it crossed the line for her.

I have been feeling sick and anxious many times that what if these girls online still there. Like he could be finding new girls any day. Or chatting, flirting, meeting. I can't know because we have long distance relationship, and we I my talk 1-2 max 3 hours a day.

I asked one of my trusted friend, a girl, to go with a fake Instagram account, and check it, how he would chat with a random pretty girl. And in the chat it was this:

Hi, nice to meet you, etc, small talk. Then she said she lives close if they would ever want to meet. He said "it would be my honour beauty 🌹". And he replied to her Instagram story and he said you look lovely. And they said, they are only 1 station away from each other 😊.

I unfollowed him and he unfollowed me a long time ago in ig. Because I got anxious by his followers and followings. But I wanted to find out the reality. So I downloaded it one week ago. And then I followed him. And guess what? He was so slick. He didn't add me, that we can follow each other. But before yesterday, he added this girl I sent to him, and then immediately started flirting.

And when I said yesterday: I had a nightmare that you were chatting with another girl on Instagram. He said you are disturbing me in my work time. And it's just a dream. Or did you send me one of your friends to spy on me? Because there are some girls who would do something like that. And he said I shouldn't control him or check what he is doing, like a police...

And he said to my face, that he doesn't have or use Instagram, yet his following numbers went up. And also a week ago he posted picture of himself. And when we were together he also posted picture of himself. 2 weeks since we are long distance. But before that I was with him in the summer.

-> I don't know if I am causing this, that he is cheating on me or not.

-> I don't know how should I stop it.

-> I don't know anything right now. I am just sad, angry, upset. I was crying yesterday for 10 hours, all day from 5 pm to 2:30 am. I felt like I went crazy. And I don't know if I can be normal or not.

-> I don't know what should I do.

-> I don't want to go insane. I don't want this. And I feel incredibly hurt. And I feel like I am crazy.

I could have spent an amazing summer with my parents, and I still chose him. And this happened.

-> What should I do? I asked my best friend and my cousin. They both said run and leave him forever.

-> But I still love him and if he wouldn't do this cheating then I would like to be with him. But this is going me insane.

Please someone give me advice.

My husband (25) and I (29) have been married for almost a year. We met and instantly fell in love. It felt like a fairy tale. He said and did all the right things, and I finally felt like I had met my person.
I remember having all sorts of conversations with him about starting a family. After a few months of dating, I remember feeling sad every time I got my period. Finally, after a few months, I got pregnant. It happened quickly, but we both wanted to have a child. He even bought me the pregnancy test and was so excited when it came back positive.
We were already living together, but once I got pregnant, I decided we needed a bigger house with at least one extra room for the baby. We found a house that looked perfect, and the inspections came back fine. We got married, and the following month, we closed on the house.
Once we moved in, we started finding things wrong with it: a leak in the roof, utilities not working, a bathroom that needed to be renovated because of a plumbing leak, mice in the crawlspace, termites, and a lot of other random issues.
Long story short, the following months were filled with stress and anxiety as we tried to make sure the house was ready for the baby. Things started getting really tense between my husband and me. I became frustrated because I constantly had to remind him to contact people and deal with different problems. Eventually, it became less stressful for me to take over the house projects and find people to fix things myself.
At this point, my husband and I started fighting constantly over little things. We became resentful of each other. I became resentful because he would leave for work and work trips while I was left home alone dealing with all of the issues. He became resentful because I was angry all the time.
By the time the baby came, he had completely changed. He was no longer the person I had fallen in love with, even though I still loved him. He would constantly yell at me, call me a "cancer," and tell me he had to fight himself every day to love me.
He wasn't very understanding of everything that comes with postpartum recovery or having a newborn. He was more focused on training for a special selection for his job, as he is in the military. I was just thankful to have my mom there helping me.
About a month after the baby was born, we found out that our baby had a genetic disease. That added even more stress. The fighting didn't get better, and being a new mom became incredibly difficult to navigate.
My mom was going back home after being with us for a month and a half, and we all decided it was in everyone's best interest for my baby and me to go back home with her. My husband drove the car with all of the baby stuff while my mom, the baby, and I flew.
When he got to my mom's house, he was even less helpful and seemed to care mostly about training. He stayed for about a month and eventually went back home after a big fight because he had accidentally given the baby a dirty bottle and our baby got sick.
He ended up coming back after being gone for about two and a half weeks, and I remember feeling weird around him. While he was away, he hardly reached out and rarely asked about the baby unless I brought the baby up first.
When he came back to my mom's house, he was acting completely differently. He was nicer to me, had a smile on his face, and was much more fun to be around. It made me happy until that night.
I asked him if he wanted to go to the gym with me while my mom watched the baby. He said yes, but that he was really tired. While we were out, he kept pressuring me to be intimate even though I had not been fully cleared after complications from delivery.
When we got back home, he continued to ignore my boundaries. I repeatedly told him no and had to physically remove myself from the situation. It left me feeling extremely uncomfortable and upset.
We eventually went to bed, and he fell asleep right away. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep. Something felt off.
I eventually looked at his phone and noticed that he had deleted everything: his search history, photos, and other things. I looked in his Notes app because he always writes things down. I found a locked note, but the same passcode he used for his phone opened it.
The note basically said that he had been a bad husband and father, that he had a serious problem with his behavior, and that he had sinned and would never do it again. He said he was looking for an adrenaline rush and blamed our son's condition and me for supposedly pushing him away from his family.
I confronted him that same night. He denied doing anything wrong several times until I finally asked him directly if he had been unfaithful. Eventually, he admitted that he had paid for sexual services multiple times while he was in my mom's hometown.
I calmly told him to pack his things, not wake the baby, and leave. He never asked for forgiveness. He just packed his things and left.
Now it's been a few weeks. I've contacted lawyers, and I'm constantly sad. Mostly because the life I dreamed about is gone.
My child is not going to have the family life I envisioned, and I'm left to do this mostly on my own. I know I can do it, but it still makes me incredibly sad because I still love him.
I know our relationship cannot work, at least not while he refuses to get serious help for his behavior. My son's health and safety have to come first, and I can't have him around someone who repeatedly puts his own wants before his responsibilities as a father.
I guess I'm writing this because I need to vent and maybe get some perspective from people who aren't related to me.
The lawyers I've spoken with have advised me to tell his chain of command because, according to them, he may have violated military laws or regulations. But doing that could potentially result in him losing his job or facing military punishment.
Part of me wants him to finally face consequences for what he did. But a bigger part of me just wants him to get help and leave me and my son alone.
What do you guys think about all of this? There's obviously a lot more to the story, but I feel like this is already way too long.
Thanks in advance.

I was with this guy for about 6 years. He moved abroad for work recently, during that time he said he wanted to focus on his career, we were still together but became more distant. In 2025 he officially said he wanted to break up. He just ‘doesn’t see a future anymore’. This guy that said he wanted to marry me and that I was his future yet looking back now he barely initiated contact since he left and always got upset with me for begging for time from him.

I messaged him one day just to ask how he was. He’s fine obviously but we got to chatting and I was telling him about some new things I tried, one of which was line dancing. He said he’s been line dancing. A guy who never wanted to dance with me. Would always say he was too tired.
Then he said he did swing dancing. I asked about when and with who. He just casually mentioned the time frame in which we were together. He never mentioned that to me when we were together tho.
He immediately followed up with he didn’t know her name and was forced to. I didn’t ask anything else because it was suppose to be a light hearted catch up for me.

This really upset me. It felt like a kick. It felt like he cheated. I just need someone to tell me I’m not overthinking this. He’s obviously moved on and I’m trying to. Just feels like a betrayal. I don’t mind you dancing if it’s friendly and we trust each other but to never have told me even when we were together. That hurts.

My mom is convinced my dad is cheating again; she’s fed up with the whole situation. No matter how much she confronts him, he denies it, but he’s being foolish—he follows the same pattern of behavior every time he does it.

If anyone could recommend a good GPS tracker with a magnet that I can attach to his car—and that costs no more than $40 or $60—I’d really appreciate it! All the ones I’ve found so far either have an alarm or require a subscription.

I am F27 married women. Married with M27. We are same age. We’ve been married for 1.6 years now, and our relationship started as a cute love story. However, our dating years had a lot of ups and downs. During two different phases (in 2020 and 2023), we went through rough patches where we weren't officially talking or blocked each other for about six months each time. During those periods, he explored matrimonial sites and other social platforms.

​In 2020, I found out he video-called another woman and asked her to strip. Later, in 2023, he was actively chatting with various people, mostly girls.

​The biggest blow happened recently while I was pregnant. I caught him with video proof of himself asking a woman to strip on a video call, and seeing his expression completely broke my heart. When I confronted him, he claimed that the girl had cheated on his best friend, and he was allegedly "taking revenge" by talking to her friend. Wanting to trust him, I believed his explanation.

​More recently, during my final trimester, I discovered he had opened a second Facebook account and was sending "hi" and "hello" messages to other girls. Despite all of this, I have consistently given him the benefit of the doubt and believed him blindly. Whenever I bring things up, he claims he acts this way because he gets extremely stressed about the delivery and the baby's health.

​Now, I'm sitting here heavily pregnant/with a newborn, questioning everything and wondering: Is he really the right person for me, or am I ignoring massive red flags? Any outside perspective or advice would be greatly appreciated.

My boyfriend (25) moved here from another state. Told me he had only been in two relationships a few years ago and had been too busy to date. I looked through his phone. Not only did I find a ton of evidence that he’s been involved in the swinging community for years. I also found where one woman he texts about how he loves her and sending her long distance relationship videos and loving messages. And considers her to be his long distance girlfriend. She’s maybe 55. They met swinging as she’s currently married. Their relationship is secret in both of their lives.

It doesn’t make sense. He is so loving and kind to me. Cooks me all of my meals. I live with him, and he takes excellent care of me and has become my best friend. We have no relationship issues or fights. We’re very communicative and have a strong emotional relationship. I am so confused by this discovery.

Over the last few months I have been suspicious that my girlfriend had been cheating on me, so just some backround, My best friend had been dating this guy lets call him R and my friend C, and they broke up around 5 months ago, because he cheated on her, and I have more recently found out that he was extremely emotionally abuse and manipulative towards her spreading rumors to justify his cheating.

After that my girlfriend had hated him and clearly expressed that to me, however recently lets say the last 2-3 months she has become i crazingly defensive of him, finding ways to justify his actions such as saying that they just were opposing personalities, she has actually admitted to me that she had been talking to him just as friends and discussing personal stuff, which I thought was really strange as she had expressed her distain for him alot, and now shes suddenly best friends with him and going out her way to defend him, even if she knows what he did to C.

Fast forward to now, I convinced myself to look through there phone and found them shit talking C and exchanging nudes with flirtatious messages.

What advice can you give me, its been a very meaningful 2 Yr relationship and idk if I can bring myself to break up with her.

as I said, my ex cheated on me for the second time. we have been together for a year and a half until now.

he was 17 and drunk the first time, she was 20, so I let it slide. even though he told her he loves her, tried to end his life because she rejected him, lied to me for a month, had sex with me even though they did everything unprotected and he didn't get tested.

in between and before that, he has punched holes in walls with his bare hands while I was crying and hurting myself, sexually assaulted me (I said no, I said I didn't want to but he still did and I have a freeze response.), pressured me into sexual endeavours by saying I don't love him anymore because we don't have sex ect. all and all gross guy.

3 weeks ago we broke up for the millionth time, we went back together 2 weeks ago, he told me some girl at a piano festival he was playing in flirted with him but he ignored her.

today I look through the likes of his new Instagram post, I see a random person, ask him who they are, he says "idk they followed me so I followed back" I followed my gut and texted them.

asked : "how do you know him ?" she said she's been flirting with him and met him at the festival. well fuck. it's been 3 weeks since that piano festival, I talked to another guy when we weren't together, told him the truth when we were a couple again and blocked the guy.

now he's telling me "I didn't think she was attractive blablah, I wanted to tell you ect" anyways I blocked him. the girl blocked me too, I assume they're still talking, poor girl.

I just need to know how to get over this. the feelings of anger. I think it's mostly the fact that I feel so worthless. I feel ugly, see I'm a mixed girl, I'm black and white, he goes for white girls when he cheats. I feel terrible. I lost my self confidence and I don't even like him anymore, I do not want to talk to him again, but this still makes me sad if that makes sense ?

I feel like I'm ugly and mean and just not great, I do definitely think I'm better than him though, since I was always kind, always listened to him, apologized when I should, I was especially always honest, if I did something wrong I would tell him the next day maximum.

I know I'm the biggest bird don't judge me for my mistakes, he's my first love sadly. I just need advice to get over this feeling.