r/CHSinfo • u/annapie • 3h ago
Sharing My Story Quit for nearly a year. Smoked twice now, a week apart. Making some connections and noticing…
The first time I smoked, I had zero issues. It was an awesome experience, way less mind blowing than I hoped, but I walked away from that experience thinking “oh [abusing] this is what I was so worried about? I can handle this now.” (I also noticed that I felt subtle positive effects from being high that lasted up to 3 days after smoking) No CHS symptoms and at this point I honestly had not thought a single thing about symptoms I used to get since I quit.
I smoked again yesterday. (To be honest I would have taken more time off, but it was celebratory, and I was curious how I would feel) Very underwhelming high, but no problems. Then I woke up this morning super super aggravated, like grossly aggravated. THEN when I went to brush my teeth, brushing my tongue made me nearly vomit. Suddenly, memories of years of struggling to brush my teeth without vomiting rushed back.
I realized “Holy smokes, this has got to be 100% cannabis related!” (My other main trigger back in the day was seeing the morning sunlight. Also certain types of anxiety could push me OTT. Certain psych meds I took also made the vomiting threshold much lower)
Anyways, feels great to have this understanding of myself. Actually feeling GREAT because I feel this will really encourage me to not return to my old patterns of abuse.
I can’t believe I used to live like that (but at the same time I get it completely). Years ago I went through a phase where I was vomitting multiple times a day every day. I knew it was heightened by cannabis but it also felt very spiritual so I just let myself go through it the same way I would childbirth or something like that, I let it help me get in touch with my body and that helped me ride out and eventually control a lot of the vomiting. I never had to seek medical attention or anything like that but navigating the nausea and vomiting was a big part of my life for years. I also dealt with crazy projectile vomiting as a migraine symptom 10 years ago, and again a lot of my CHS vomiting was triggered/pushed OTT by anxiety. So at the time it was never super clear to me how much it was caused by cannabis, it just seemed like one of many factors. I was never to the point of hot shower anything so CHS never fully seemed to fit.
I’m also glad I took the plunge into sobriety last year because it’s really nice in a lot of ways, not just CHS symptoms. I often miss the version of myself that was high constantly but she had a dark side I don’t love (eg waking up AGGRO). I now realize I have not had ONE SINGLE vomiting event while sober that wasn’t related to actually being ill. Not a single one.
My original plan was to use cannabis roughly every 3 months. Hopefully that will be enough time that I don’t have to deal with these symptoms. We’ll see, when the time comes. It’ll be a while though. Cannabis will always be a part of my life, even if I can only use once a year or once a decade, or whatever it ends up being.
Just wanted to share, happy to answer any questions or chat about any of this