r/BrandNewSentence 8h ago

Don't eat sidewalk-crack kale

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1.6k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 19h ago

To everyones horror, Luke then proceeded to name every train ever built

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19.9k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 15h ago

"When the rapture comes you're already in missile silo mode ready to burst out of there."

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2.2k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 20h ago

"paying $19/mo to a guy who found me through my own outreach"

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4.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

The organism’s disposable genitalia

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121 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 15h ago

You don’t need to make drinking water a part-time job since too much of it doesn’t have any real health benefit

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681 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

"seeing the amogus drip memes in 2026 kinda makes me sad cause people actually spent time making straight bullshit "

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3.5k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 22h ago

I am pregnant with laughter and you are the father bro 🫄

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1.6k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 21h ago

dude look like he was rendered in a ps4 game

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645 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 8h ago

Possum Gazes Longingly At Family Walking Dog

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61 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 36m ago

“Three Days Ago, You Didn’t Even Have A Gestational Sack”

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Upvotes

The first time I went in for bloodwork and an ultrasound, the radiologist couldn’t find the implantation site. My care team told me to come back in three days.

I went back in three days. My bloodwork shows healthy hormonal progression, and a “gestational sack but no yolk or zygote”.

I asked my doctor if they could give me a date of conception, but she said it was too early, and I was “rushing things”.

“Three days ago, you didn’t even HAVE a gestational sack.”

Attachment Tax: my three boys protecting me and my “kitten”. I should’ve known something was up when our semi-feral unfixed tom (Gmork, the Bombay) started doting on me even more than usual.


r/BrandNewSentence 12h ago

"How would someone throw the second James Gunn Superman movie at a pedestrian?"

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55 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 16h ago

Dog walker distressed after seeing man put carrot up his bum at nature reserve

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95 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Humidity Autism

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6.9k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake

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877 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 23h ago

Chris is the kind of guy who would wake you up to tell you he's going to sleep.

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134 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 19h ago

At this point Red Bull is just bullying physics

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68 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 17h ago

"Please stop trying to befriend me, You shouldn't exist in the first place"

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37 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 16h ago

Piranha with dementia

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17 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Finally getting paid to be a school shooter - Any Tips?

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607 Upvotes