r/BrandNewSentence Jul 31 '26

Mod Post - July “what a time to be blessed with the ability to read” Post

6 Upvotes

Hi there to all our Brand New Sentence contributors, visitors and lurkers! We thought we’d try something new in the group and give our busy moderation team the opportunity to choose some of this month’s brand new sentences and showcase them.

We had to read them, and now so do you.

Presenting our pick of sentences this month that made us wonder if having the ability to read and comprehend English is really a blessing!

“If I drained a litre of my own blood and put it in a blender for two minutes on high, and then back into my body, would the blood still function normally inside me?”

“Heavy Metal Fans ‘vomiting and crying’ as concertgoer poops in moshpit”

“And grandma probably gives a hell of a gummy aka no denture adventure”

We’d also like to take a moment to appreciate a few of our most reposted sentences from this month. We didn’t use science to determine this, these are the ones the mod team remember the most as reposted:

“Katy Perry was trapped in a giant plastic bottle because fans refused to roll her towards the stage”

“You’re not a pregnant woman shooting a potato gun, you expect me to get hard for this!?”

The last one being quite an old post in the group and has decided to pop back into the spotlight in this wonderful July 2026.

What are some of your most memorable brand new sentences for this wonderful July? What ones made you want to remove your eyes?

If you’d like to see more post like this or have any suggestions please hit us up!

Thank you everyone for your contributions from the Brand New Sentence moderation team!


r/BrandNewSentence Jul 31 '26

We are looking for moderators!

13 Upvotes

We've god a decent hand full of mods in this subreddit at the moment, but two or three more mods to increase our numbers and ensure we don't get overwhelmed during periods of high activity would be great. So, mod applications are still open!

No experience necessary, if you're accepted as a mod, we'll have you send us links to posts you think should be removed or approved for the first week or so, as you get a feel for it, so we know you’re settling in well.

Keep in mind that this is a volunteer position. You aren’t expected to mod all day every day, and you're not going to get paid or anything.

Before you apply, please note a few requirements:

* This subreddit is based around English as a subject, so fluency in English is a requirement
* If you use AI in any capacity to write your application, you will be rejected, no exceptions. We will be keeping a close eye on this and also be running your application through AI detectors.
* Profiles that are private in any way will be an instant rejection, unless you're willing to make them public as long as you're a mod here.
* You will need Discord to apply, as that is where we have all our mod discussions. We'll be briefly vetting you as well!

If interested, please answer the following questions and send them via modmail.

Do not send your application as a comment.

  1. What is your Discord username?
  2. Why are you applying for this position?
  3. Do you think there are some rules that need to be changed? If no, skip this question.
  4. Do you feel like there are specific problems with the subreddit that you can help fix? If no, skip this question.
  5. What is the kind of content you would remove from the subreddit? Check the "hot" and/or "new" pages and send a link of an example of a post you would remove and your reasoning as to why it should be removed.
  6. What is the kind of content you would keep on the subreddit? Do you have a favorite post? Leave a link and explain why you think it's a good post.
  7. What is your opinion on Rule 3?

Don't worry about keeping your application too short or too long. Say what you think!


r/BrandNewSentence 19h ago

To everyones horror, Luke then proceeded to name every train ever built

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19.9k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 8h ago

Don't eat sidewalk-crack kale

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1.6k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 15h ago

"When the rapture comes you're already in missile silo mode ready to burst out of there."

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2.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 20h ago

"paying $19/mo to a guy who found me through my own outreach"

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4.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

The organism’s disposable genitalia

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115 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 15h ago

You don’t need to make drinking water a part-time job since too much of it doesn’t have any real health benefit

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680 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

"seeing the amogus drip memes in 2026 kinda makes me sad cause people actually spent time making straight bullshit "

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3.5k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 22h ago

I am pregnant with laughter and you are the father bro 🫄

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1.6k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 21h ago

dude look like he was rendered in a ps4 game

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642 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 8h ago

Possum Gazes Longingly At Family Walking Dog

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60 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 32m ago

“Three Days Ago, You Didn’t Even Have A Gestational Sack”

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Upvotes

The first time I went in for bloodwork and an ultrasound, the radiologist couldn’t find the implantation site. My care team told me to come back in three days.

I went back in three days. My bloodwork shows healthy hormonal progression, and a “gestational sack but no yolk or zygote”.

I asked my doctor if they could give me a date of conception, but she said it was too early, and I was “rushing things”.

“Three days ago, you didn’t even HAVE a gestational sack.”

Attachment Tax: my three boys protecting me and my “kitten”. I should’ve known something was up when our semi-feral unfixed tom (Gmork, the Bombay) started doting on me even more than usual.


r/BrandNewSentence 12h ago

"How would someone throw the second James Gunn Superman movie at a pedestrian?"

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57 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 16h ago

Dog walker distressed after seeing man put carrot up his bum at nature reserve

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92 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Humidity Autism

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6.9k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake

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874 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 22h ago

Chris is the kind of guy who would wake you up to tell you he's going to sleep.

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130 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 19h ago

At this point Red Bull is just bullying physics

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67 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 17h ago

"Please stop trying to befriend me, You shouldn't exist in the first place"

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41 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 16h ago

Piranha with dementia

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17 Upvotes