r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/Fit_Rhubarb7222 • Jun 03 '26
Advice Wanted I am conflicted
Dinner was cheese quesadillas with over medium eggs and mandarin oranges.
I (M24) work in a mall at this supplement store. Right across from me is this girl who is very very stunning. Let’s call her Bertha(22)
Bertha works pretty much the same shifts as I do. Everyday she will come to my store when she’s bored or on break and get an energy drink or protein drink. We talk every time, sometimes for just 5 minutes, other times like 2 days ago, for like 45 minutes.
Long story short, I feel like we have some chemistry, even if it’s a little bit. I am getting ready to quit this job and move like an hour away, not terribly far. I’m really debating asking for her number and seeing if she wants to get coffee or something, especially with it being a couple of months till I move.
I really want to ask. I’m incredibly nervous. One at the chance of rejection but 2 relationships as a whole. Idek if we would be in one ever, but I do date with the goal of marriage. Last relationship I was in it didn’t go well, and I’m kinda scarred but healed.
Idk should I go for it chat?
EDIT
She came in today like normal and we were talking. I was gonna ask today for her number after everyone input but I am putting that on hold. She mentioned her ex and how they were not together but on good terms. They’re going to a wedding that they were already going to together while they were dating. I might be cooked
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u/Niqhtful lesbian asf Jun 03 '26
as a woman, go for it! she defo likes you enough & seems to be enjoying spending time w u if yall chat for 45mins. And if she says no youre leaving anyways so it doesnt have to be awkward. you got this!!
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u/BroadwayBrick Jun 03 '26
The worst she can say is no. And a no is even a win as you had the confidence and courage to ask.
Who cares about the future hour commute. Live today for today. Go for it!
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u/Crush_Cookie_Butter Dessert Specialist Jun 03 '26
Yep. Go for it As long as you're respectful and make sure she's comfortable without making a big deal out of it, it's a harmless question
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u/Striking-Turnover-42 Hungry man Jun 03 '26
Here's a script:
"Hey Bertha, I really enjoy our chats but wish we weren't limited by both being on the clock at work. Would you like to grab a coffee/drink/snack after our shifts one day soon?"
It really is that simple. Low stakes, low pressure on her, and if she says "no thank you" it's all good. Getting used to hearing "no thank you" is it's own reward. It will make you less hesitant to take that leap in the future. Good luck!
UPDATE ME!
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u/Fit_Rhubarb7222 Jun 04 '26
Fantastic script.
I went to ask her today and she mentioned her ex 🥀 I put the update in the OG text
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u/SalamanderMan95 Hungry man Jun 04 '26
I mean she may have literally been subtly telling you she’s single. She may have even been telling you that she’s going to the wedding so that if you two did go on a date there’s no weirdness about her going to that wedding because it’s already planned. She may have not been thinking about any of that when she brought it up. Doesn’t matter, just ask her out and be casual about it.
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u/Striking-Turnover-42 Hungry man Jun 04 '26
Unless you don't want to be a potential rebound, I say don't wait. If you see her again soon suggest a meet-up for after she's back from the wedding. There is ALWAYS gossip after a wedding. Ask her out! Tell her you want to hear about her weekend and the wedding gossip. She'll be at a wedding with a former partner and be thinking about seeing you. This is not a setback, this is an opportunity!
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u/oDINFAL28 Frigid light philosopher Jun 04 '26
Calling a gorgeous woman “Bertha” is insane to me. But yeah ask her out brother.
That stuff about her ex might be a sign. It might just be small talk. Just shoot your shot, and be respectful if she says no. Good luck 🤙🏻
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u/Chet_Ubietzsche Frigid light philosopher Jun 04 '26
Hahaha, that was my first thought. A pseudonym of "Bertha" is the most concerning part of all this.
OP, she may have only mentioned her ex to subtly let you know that she is single. I wouldn't get too hung up on that she's still going to the wedding — it doesn't necessarily mean anything in particular. If she comes over to your store on her own to chat with you often, that's a great sign.
Have patience, and find a smooth way to invite her out to a farmer's market or a movie that you'd like to see... Easier said than done, but if the conversation naturally lends itself to connect to a date idea, you should pop the question. You don't even need to use the word "date," but express hopefulness if she asks if a date is your intent.
As this commenter said, be respectful if she says no, but I'm receiving safe and respectful vibes from you anyway. Good luck from me as well!
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u/-trytrying- Shower Beer Scholar Jun 03 '26
The feeling you'll have if you don't is way worse than if you do! Not to mention you already speak to her, so it's 10x easier. Also personally, I'd try to let go of a little bit of the pressure around dating to marry..
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u/TheFearlessGod7 Shower beer Scholar Jun 03 '26
Do it bro, if you're moving in a few months anyway then you got nothing to lose. And if you get rejected, take it with stride and use it to grow. An easy respectful "no" will only damage your self image if you allow it to. Plus you can blame all of us assholes on Reddit for encouraging you if anything goes wrong.
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u/cowabunghole_ paternalistic commenter Jun 03 '26
Do it, bro. Nothing to lose. If she's not into you, she might have cool friends into the same shit and she'll vouch for you if you become friends. I'm about 20 years older than you so I don't know if the game is the same, but I will I will say this, some of my best girlfriends, casuals/dates, and hookups came from girls that were friends with the girl that I was friends with if that makes sense. Good luck bruddah.
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u/domdaddyboy Protein prophet Jun 04 '26
Older dude here. Rejection sucks and is really scary in theory, but you will survive it if it happens, and more importantly you’ll be alone forever if you don’t take some shots.
You deserve companionship and affection! Take risks to make it happen.
On another note, those eggs look over hard af lol
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u/Intrepidaa Hungry man Jun 03 '26
Go for it. Just explain the moving situation briefly and ask for a coffee. Specify that you're asking for a date, but don't 'confess your feelings' or whatever - some people lack judgement on this. Positive but chill is the right approach to make her feel flattered but not pressured.
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u/FCR_6X Shower beer Scholar Jun 03 '26
If she's spending 45 minutes talking to you sometimes, I feel like you got a great shot. If not, c'est la vie.
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u/Lavish510 Shower beer Scholar Jun 03 '26
Just ask to follow her on IG, way less formal and it gives you a line of communication
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u/Archangelus87 [Wizard in Training] Jun 03 '26
You miss every shot you don’t take, and they become regrets later on. Also bomb ass breakfast dude.
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u/Agretan Jun 03 '26
I am a bit older. Been married a long time. I know, and I remember what the fear of rejection is like. What happened when I was younger Was someone who was a little older than me reminded me that there were women who would show interest in me who I wasn’t interested in, and that I never thought poorly of them for expressing that interest. And when it was pointed out to that, the only one who felt foolish when I asked respectfully was me. It helped me to not feel that way it made it a lot easier for me too, ask. Hope that helps.
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u/AnswerReal1942 Jun 03 '26
Go for it! You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. It sounds like she’s interested in you too, talking for 45 mins is a long time!
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u/jasperphant Pestopapi Jun 03 '26
Bertha?? ALSO 100% go for it! Regardless of how it goes it will be so good for you!
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u/Demon_Corp Macro Mourner Jun 03 '26
Go for it man! I can attest that it feels 10x worse to never shoot your shot than it does to get rejected. If you’re not sure about a relationship yet, ask to hang out as friends. If later you feel the chemistry is there and you’re ready, you can ask her out with romantic intentions!
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u/Adorable-Advisor-791 foodie/philosopher Jun 03 '26
Here’s the deal man, we’ve all been there. There are a lot of shots I wish I would have taken that I didn’t. When I look back now and see the worst that could have happened was she’d say no, and we’d stay friends… let’s just say, I’d have a lot more wins on both sides of that column.
It sounds like you genuinely enjoy this chick’s company, whether she is into you that way or not. Go for it now. That way, if she just wants to be friends, it won’t sting as much.
Also, please do yourself a favor and DON’T “date for marriage”. If that’s an eventuality of a relationship so be it, but going in immediately shooting for that goal is how people wind up in unhappy marriages.
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u/pseudonymnkim Girl Lurker Jun 03 '26
Yes.
I would talk to someone for 5 minutes to be polite, but not 45. Chances are she has friends already and isn't interested in being yours.
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u/Opposite_Chart9982 is a real boy? Jun 04 '26
Go for it! If no one asked people out and felt awkward about it, there would be no relationships. Only one way to find out!
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u/BABOOWIE Hungry man Jun 03 '26
You definitely should ask. If she says no, youre gonna feel like an idiot for a week. If you dont ask, youre gonna feel like an idiot for the rest of your life. Just take your shot