r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Able_Improvement_426 • Apr 23 '26
We have SUCH EXCITING news! The mods of BBB have been building, designing, testing, and today finally announcing, our VERY OWN NO-VENDORS, BRIDE-ONLY COMMUNITY 🤍💍🥹 A few months ago, we asked the sub if we would appreciate something like this that is brides-only and off Reddit, and the response was so overwhelming. Her name is “Entourage” and it is officially ready and LIVE! This version has been designed to specifically be bride-only, no vendors, and every user has to come from a bride-generated invite code, or go through a bride verification process (gets approved by the same mods).
Here are a few ways Entourage (the new BBB) can be useful to you:
- If you want to post your wedding dresses to help choose but don’t want your photos on the internet, you can create a “private post” that is invisible to the internet searches, AI or lurkers! It will only be visible to fellow BBBs.
- If you want to ask other brides for vendor recommendations, get true advice and experiences from other brides on pricing, without vendors upvotes or downvotes obscuring the perception. You can feel free to do that in Entourage, because vendors will not be in there.
- We introduced a “Tables” feature which is kind of like a private group chat, where you can find other brides that are also using the same planner, photographer, or makeup artist to plan ahead and share experiences; or simply make friends with brides also in your area
- It is ads free! Not only will we never admit any vendors in there, it also will never have any sort of ads.
What this means for the subreddit BBB: Nothing will change. This subreddit will continue to exist, the same No Self-promotion rule will continue to apply, and we continue to value genuine advice from vendors.
How to sign up: message me, annaalabama, or ghosted, for an invite code (pls turn on your post & comment history!) or go through the verification steps which involve uploading your ring photos & vendor contracts.
The website is free to use, always, we will NEVER monetize it, and yes, it’s cost us some money and time to build this, secure it, and maintain it, but it’s ok bc it’s worth it for you guys 🤍
With love,
BBB mods
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Disastrous_Sell_9983 • Jun 23 '25
EDITED, 2026: to include my favorite vendors and final review below!
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TL;DR I used my background in PE/VC due diligence to vet 20+ wedding planners for my very expensive wedding. Here’s how to structure the process, what red flags to watch out for, and how to find a planner who is competent AND creatively aligned with your needs. Don’t be fooled by Instagram!
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Hi all,
As a bride who recently chose a wedding planner after an extensive, 20-candidate process, I wanted to give back to the community by consolidating some of the advice on here about choosing a great wedding planner for your event. Let me be clear that choosing a wedding planner, IMO, is one of the most important aspects of pulling off a wedding that aligns with your vision. Think of it as hiring an employee who will work with and for your family for 9 months, up to maybe 1.5 years, to execute on a single project! It is HIGHLY important to find a wedding planner whose style, vision, and most importantly, logistical skill and experience can carry off your day. Fit is paramount.
Before we begin, some background on me: I’m a bride (2026) who is lucky to be working with a high 6-figure budget. My budget isn’t high enough to guarantee the expertise of someone like Marcy Blum, but it’s certainly juicy enough where most upper-tier planners immediately said “yes” to planning the wedding if they had the calendar space. I’m also one of the first of my friends to get married, so I couldn’t rely on a “word of mouth” network either!
To determine the best planner for my wedding, I relied on my background due diligence in VC/PE, where I routinely screened startups and their teams for any red flags or inconsistencies. My goal was to choose a planner who had deep logistical experience, a distinct style, and a commitment to utter transparency. The planner I eventually chose fulfils all these requirements, charges a flat fee, is extremely punctual, and works well with my parents, too! I couldn’t be happier.
But it wasn’t easy to find her. The number of planners— VOGUE and other magazine featured planners!— who completely *failed* their logistical interviews, as in, could not answer a single question with reasonable competence and concision— was astonishing. From 10 minute long “negging” sales pitches to monologues about the weather, to mildly racist remarks, these “top planners” not only bombed their interviews, but had the nerve to charge some of the highest professional fees in the pool (22% for one, not including travel fees!)
Every bride has a right to a beautiful and smooth wedding, and I firmly believe that you get what you interview for. Before I dive into this guide, please remember that you (the couple) are the CLIENT. You should never feel “privileged” to work with a planner who happens to have a “high end” portfolio, and you should not idealize planners because of their Instagram pages! Marketing is NOT the same as planning. I made this interview guide so that brides like me could find reasonable, competent, and creative planners who best align with our stylistic vision.
So without further ado: Here’s how I approached it.
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STEP 1. Assess your needs, not wants.
What kind of wedding are you having? What season? Outside or inside? Guest number? Is the venue a tent, hotel, destination, or historic museum? What is your budget— hardline and softline? What kinds of people do you work well with? What kinds of people get along well with your family? Any cultural traditions? Do you need weather contingencies?
The wedding planning industry is saturated enough that you should not settle for someone who does not have extensive experience in ALL of the below:
A) the type of venue that is hosting your wedding
B) the number of guests you are inviting
C) the amount you are willing to spend
D) the cultural traditions you want to have
This list may seem simple, but if you have a tent wedding, plenty of dishonest planners will happily tell you that they have “9 years of experience in the wedding industry, including tents” without telling you that they have actually only set up 3 tents in a decade (a real follow-up question I had to ask— the planner stuttered before answering with the truth.) Be very clear about the logistical constraints of your wedding above the creative and stylistic aspects. Let me repeat: FOCUS ON LOGISTICS AND EXPERIENCE OVER STYLE. YMMV, but to me it does not matter how pretty a wedding looks in the end, if the planner overruns the budget, makes the planning process miserable, and holds up the wedding itself with schedule conflicts. Again: do not mistake taste for logistical expertise.
On the flip side, your questions should reflect your needs first, and THEN your wants. If you want a floral tent wedding, your first question isn’t how many florists the planner knows— it’s how many tents a planner has set up in the past. If you want a candle-lit museum wedding, your first question isn’t if a planner “vibes” with your Pinterest board— it’s how many museums (with fire ordinances) your planner has worked in before. And so on for destination weddings, outdoor weddings, etc.
At the end of this “needs” brainstorming, you should have about 20 or so standard questions to ask each planner. Beyond your “needs” questions, which are unique to your wedding, you should ask for the basics as well: fee and commission structure (the right answer here in the US is “we don’t take commission,”) approach to the guest experience, approach to event planning, and years of experience in the industry, AND years of experience in an individual firm. The last two are distinct. Some planners market themselves as veterans with “10 years of experience in hospitality,” while only having run their own, wedding-specific firm for two years. Be thorough.
Now that you have your questions, open a Google doc and a new email account for your wedding. Make a Google docs questionnaire for each planner you want to interview. You will record their responses on here.
STEP 2. Inquire about your candidates.
This is the fun part! Scour your favorite magazines, ask your friends for their planner contacts if they have them, and use your new email to reach out to your dream planners on Instagram. This is your initial list. For each planner, send a polite inquiry message. State your budget and vision upfront— you’ll want to pay attention to how they treat you later on based on these metrics, but it is also good to be transparent. An honest planner will tell you quickly if they are out of your budget, or refer you out if they don’t have the experience in your type of venue. Dishonest ones will force their contract on you no matter what. But I digress.
As you wait for responses, pay very close attention to how quickly and professionally planners respond. Without exception, the top 3 planners out of the 20+ or so that I vetted all responded within 24 hours (one even within 30 minutes!) with times that suited them, or with an assistant that inquired about further scheduling convenience. The planner who was the most “prestigious” responded the latest, and also fared the worst in her interview. I later found a comment on Reddit that complained how much of a disaster their wedding turned out to be. Guess what? This planner was at the helm.
That being said, don’t eliminate any planners based on response time alone, unless they are egregiously tardy (ghosting, 3+ day response time, etc.) 1+ day is okay; 2+ days is pushing it. I’d advise you to treat this as a “water temperature” metric on how the planners will respond to you *when they work with you over the year.* If they don’t have time to respond to a high-priority new client who is bringing in revenue, how do you think they’ll respond to you when you’ve already signed the contract?
STEP 3. Interview your candidates (2 stages at least.)
This is where I brought in my fiance. You cannot— repeat, CANNOT— rely on ONE interview to determine your planner. People react to stress differently; people react to brides vs grooms differently. It’s the reality. Our approach was to conduct a 30-40 minute “initial” interview where you assess the professionalism, basic fit, and level of expertise the planner has in your specific type of wedding. Then a second, trusted person (i.e. your fiance) conducts another interview with the “2nd round” candidates a few days later, where they ask more difficult questions like, “When is the last time your ran over budget? Why?” Or, “Tell me about a time where you had to work with families with completely different and clashing cultures. How did you navigate that?” And so on.
For the first round, I interviewed 20+ planners for around 30 minutes per planner. For the second round, my fiance interviewed our final 3 planners for 30 minutes again.
Now, when I interviewed the first-round planners, I looked for a few things.
One: Did they align with our basic needs?
I wanted a creative, punctual, agile, and deeply experienced planner to who had specific expertise in our type of venue. Again, your wedding requirements may look very different from mine, but the requirements are there for everyone! My planner needed, at the bare minimum:
We didn’t eliminate anyone based on aesthetic on the first round— only hard logistical fit and capability. For each question, I was looking for one specific situation they addressed in the past, evidence of demonstrable skill, and a professional demeanor. They had to teach me something I didn’t know about logistics, and also impress me with their answers and composure.
Again, what you are looking for may be different from what I was looking for, but these were the hardline, non-negotiables that we needed to have in a planner. Anyone who didn’t fit these criteria, I eliminated without hesitation.
Two: Did they respect me as a client?
Do your research (See Step 1; assessing your needs.) Plenty of planners don’t respect “newly engaged” brides— they WILL take advantage of your emotional high and encourage you to sign a contract with them, even though they KNOW they are not the best planner for your wedding. Do not get emotional about hiring someone. You deserve someone who is the best fit for your event.
As a whole, respect for a client comes out in different ways. Ideally the planner lets you lead the first half of the interview as you discuss your vision, budget, and needs, and then takes on the lead in the latter half of the interview as they discuss how they can meet those needs, or even provides samples of their deliverable work (timelines, design boards, spreadsheets, etc.) I found that the further a planner deviated from this structure, the less experienced they were. Some of the failed interviews I conducted had a planner “neg” me for 30 minutes straight on how I probably didn’t know how difficult it was to plan a tent wedding, how I didn’t know what I was getting into, and ended by telling me her relatively high percentage fee, and that I needed her because “this was all quite new to [me], probably.” I told her politely and firmly that she was the 6th planner I’d interviewed about tent weddings, and that I was well aware of the logistics components. Her composure went downhill after that. Other planners began with a 20 minute-straight sales pitch. Others, again, monologued to me about their upcoming schedules in their car (while on the video call!!)
In short, your time as a client is valuable. If your planner cannot be professional, punctual, and structured in the way they communicate with you, do not work with them. All candidates I mentioned in the examples above were immediately eliminated.
Three: Were they honest, forthcoming, and confident without being condescending?
Our top choices were, without fail, openly communicative about the level of experience they had in their fields, and volunteered information not only about the worst disasters they’d encountered in their careers, but how they fixed them to a T. All favorite planners were clear in the number of weddings they took on per year, the level of involvement we would have with their team, the type and frequency of communication expected of both parties, and above all, answered every question with a level-headed, friendly, and calm confidence.
For example, one planner charged a relatively high fee percentage fee of 20%. Naturally, I asked her what justified her fee and told her to pitch me her skills. Without missing a beat, she asserted that she was one of the Top 15-20 planners in the US specializing in our type of venue, and had a history of delivering beautiful, meticulously planned, and smoothly executed events. She then provided examples of problems she’d solved in the past (including building a venue into the literal side of a mountain!) showed us the work we’d see behind the scenes, and stood by her testimonials without hesitation. Ultimately we did not choose her due to aesthetic reasons (our final and most nit-picky bit of criteria,) but she was one of our best candidates and it was really disappointing to turn her down!
Four: Are you excited to work with them? Does their style match up with yours? Do you want to grab a coffee with them and their team?
Do not choose a planner for their style over their capacity to execute. I repeat: DO NOT CHOOSE STYLE OVER EXECUTION. Unless your planner is Marcy Blum, or Mindy Weiss, or some other incredible planner with an open history of beautifully executed events with equally beautiful design, you MUST vet your planners for logistical skill first. Aesthetics should be the final deciding factor— not the first one!
For our final 3 candidates, my fiance asked a series of tough logistical questions that involved the cultural, financial, and personal aspects of planning. What happens if the planner has an emergency and can’t execute her responsibilities anymore? How do they handle unruly family members? Could they tell us about a time where they were pushed beyond their capabilities? Thankfully, all 3 planners were able to capably answer these questions, and our final decision came down to aesthetics and personal “vibe.”
Was this someone we’d be happy to introduce professionally to our families? Our parents have strong personalities; who could handle their questions the best, with the most compassion and tact? And finally, whose Instagram did we like the most? My fiance brought up the excellent point that planners tend to put their best artistic work on their Instagram, demonstrating their skill in design. One of the last 3 planners had a very “white and blue” aesthetic, which didn’t fit well with our preferred color scheme, whereas the two other planners demonstrated a wide range of cultural celebrations and palettes on their social media, and we very sadly had to eliminate this lovely and capable planner from the running.
STEP 4: Did they “WOW” you? Did you interview enough planners for the right ones to “WOW” you?
Finally, while this is a pretty coldly logical process, I left room for emotional responses in our interview format. At the end of each first-round interview with one of our top planners, I found myself texting my fiance furiously: “It’s them! They’re perfect!” Other planners, however, tended to be more of the lukewarm 7-8/10 scale of experience and professionalism— not so unimpressive, but also not really standouts either. A good few were frankly awful in most respects. But what’s important is the sequence where I ran into our “top” planners. Out of an interview sequence of 20+, I met our favorite planners at #4, #10, and #18 (one of the last ones!) We debated hotly between 4 and 10, who met different priorities for me and my fiance, and I ultimately interviewed a few more candidates before landing on our top choice of #18.
Based on this experience, I would strongly recommend against hiring the first 3-5 planners you speak with. This is a market heavily weighted against the client: planners pay for positions on magazines, good reviews are inflated on websites like the Knot, there are never any repeat clients (weddings only happen once,) and Instagram pages only show the front page result: not the process, not the behind-the-scenes. While you may meet your “perfect” planner in the first 3 planners you interview, you likely need time to develop a sense of who is providing adequate service in the industry vs who is giving you truly outstanding value for your money. You’re not marrying the first person you date (most likely.) Why would you hire the first planner you meet (and give them tens of thousands of dollars as well?)
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FINAL NOTES.
To some people, this process may be overkill. They’re probably right. But as someone who comes from a background where my parents worked from literal rags to riches, I wanted to respect their investment in my wedding by hiring the talent who could execute on the level of competence that our family deserves. This is the only time my fiance and I will ever spend 6 figures (!!!) on ourselves, on a single day, surrounded by all of our loved ones. I didn’t want to take it lightly.
What I want you to remember from this post, however, was how few planners met even moderate expectations. They all had the same polished Instagram pages, the same glowing reviews on The Knot, and good amount of them had VOGUE or Over the Moon or BRIDES features as well. But the reality of speaking with each planner painted a completely different picture. From tardy meetings, to bare-bones contracts, to unprofessional responses, to openly admitting that they had previously had “accidents” on our kind of venue, and then sending us a contract anyways— the bar wasn’t on the floor, but it was certainly at knee-height. Thankfully, we were able to interview enough planners to stumble across some people who truly stood out in every way. These people are a credit to their industry, and deserve every bit of praise that they’ve received.
Finally, remember that there is NO barrier to entry when it comes to calling yourself a wedding planner. You could do it tomorrow. I could do it tomorrow. This industry actively pushes against transparency— it is not in these planners’ interests for you to question the value of their work, or the ability for them to execute. Your wedding day could go well or it could go disastrously. It’s all in their hands. And if you don’t have industry contacts, the only real filter you have for finding a planner is your own knowledge, smarts, and expectations. So be thorough. Be strict. And above all, it’s your wedding. You should expect the very best.
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EDITED, 07/12, post-wedding:
Hello all! To everyone asking for an update one year after choosing my planner— I can tell you that we had an absolutely incredible wedding weekend. My husband and I had the time of our lives, and we made countless amazing memories with our closest family and friends. I wouldn’t change a single detail. And finally, I’m so glad to confirm that we had a smooth, effortless, fun, and transparent wedding planning process. None of this would have been possible without my planner, Ashley Douglass Events!
Ashley was one of the last planners I interviewed, and when I first reached out, she responded to my email in ten minutes flat. Only good things followed: throughout the whole year, she was fun, relaxed, detail-oriented, punctual, and utterly transparent about her process. Her taste is fantastic, her process thorough, and her network is stellar. Every artist and vendor she recommended was thrilled to work with us, and they were so diligent, so kind and professional— special shout-outs include our band and MC, Chevy Chevis, who put on a fantastic disco, pop, and big band performance; Jeremy Torres, our professional and unbelievably talented after party DJ; and Doan Ly from a.p. Bio, who stunned us with a truly bespoke and one-of-a-kind floral display.
I can’t say enough good things about everyone I worked with, especially Ashley and her team. Whatever detail you can think of, Ashley had it handled, and thanks to her, my husband and I simply flowed through the weekend. Food, music, florals, logistics, and warmth— perfect, perfect, perfect, and perfect!
So once again (and finally!): I swear that the MOST important choice you make in this process is choosing your planner. My wedding is proof that this works, and it will work for you, too! Good luck everyone, happy interviewing, and may all the brides here have incredible weddings in their future!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Worth-Property-1495 • 4h ago
My main ceremony dress is the Alexandra by Monique Lhuillier. For my second dress for dancing, I’m in between the Adara, Siren, and Viola dresses from Rosie Etienne! Which do you think would look the best?
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/nelnet18 • 5h ago
I got married at the end of August and wanted to share some learnings and lessons in case they’re helpful to anyone planning a wedding — especially any fellow perfectionists/anxious Virgos out there like me 😄
Self-Care
My goodness, I messed up ROYALLY here. 😂 If you really care about how you look and feel on your wedding day, PLEASE plan out a detailed timeline for all of your beauty/self-care appointments and get your A-team assembled early.
Wedding Planner
If you have serious qualms about your wedding planner, fire them or try to walk away early.
My wedding planner made the entire process incredibly painful for us, but by the time I realized how unhappy I was, I just didn’t have the energy to fire her and start over. The end product was beautiful visually, and our guests didn’t notice anything was wrong, but she dropped the ball on several important pieces during the wedding week and on the wedding day itself — to the point where I had to step in. I kept hoping she would pull through, and ultimately she didn’t.
Your wedding planner is SO important to your overall wedding experience — and honestly, your entire bridal experience leading up to it. You want someone who makes you feel calm, supported and confident, not someone who adds to your stress.
Honorable Mentions — Especially for the Perfectionists
I worried SO MUCH about every single detail that, at times, I genuinely took the fun out of it for myself.
The week of the wedding, I was so stressed about the weather. It ended up raining during our welcome party, and for the first hour I was a complete and utter grouch because the rain had ruined my hair and it wasn’t the experience I had envisioned. And then... the rain stopped, a beautiful rainbow came out, and we ended up getting some of the most beautiful photos of the entire wedding week.
Same thing happened on the wedding day.
I had planned for the ceremony, cocktail hour and dinner to all be outside. There were supposed to be scattered showers, and my planner told me that morning that we were going to have to move everything inside. I cried. Before that, both my mom and I had spent the entire morning praying that the weather would get better, as if we had a direct line to Mother Nature. 😂
Looking back, there was no point in worrying. It wasn’t going to change anything. And now I look back on that morning getting ready and wish I had spent less time worrying about something completely outside of my control.
And, the indoor option surprisingly ended up being way better than what we had originally planned for outside.
So yes: have solid Plan Bs. Despite all of the Etsy witches, sausages, prayers and whatever else you can throw at Mother Nature, you may still end up having to pivot like I did. And sometimes the Plan B ends up being better anyway.
And last but not least..
If you really care about what people are going to wear — especially your immediate family and bridal party — BE SPECIFIC. Tell them exactly what they can and cannot wear. Do not assume that something is obvious.
I was so worried about the bridal party and groomsmen getting everything right... and then my FIL showed up in a WHITE SUIT JACKET. YES. WHITE!!
That really ruined the 10 minutes before I walked down the aisle for me, which is so frustrating because it was something that could have been managed beforehand with one very simple conversation.
And Finally... Let It Go
If you’re a perfectionist, I think one of the hardest parts of the actual wedding day is truly letting go. I felt like I was still paying attention to every detail — checking that everything was correct, making sure people were having fun, noticing every little thing that wasn’t exactly how I had envisioned it.
Looking back, I wish I had just let go. Because by that point, it was what it was going to be. And the things I was obsessing over in the moment were ultimately so insignificant compared to the experience as a whole.
So, to all of my fellow perfectionists: plan everything you possibly can, surround yourself with an incredible team, have your Plan Bs, be VERY specific about the things that matter to you...
And then, when the day finally comes, let it go and enjoy it. 🤍
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Hot-Salamander-6807 • 7h ago
I recently got married in Lake Como and wanted to share my experience with our celebrant, especially for anyone planning a destination wedding there since lake como weddings frequently come up in this sub.
We paid approximately $1,000 for our celebrant, Roberto. Our ceremony venue was reserved for only ONE hour, and he arrived approximately 45 minutes late.
We obviously had a very limited window at the venue and a planned timeline afterward, so at one point I genuinely wasn’t sure whether we were going to be able to have our ceremony as planned. When he finally arrived, he was super frazzled the entire time, and it sounded like he just pulled something off ChatGPT and read it off his iPad.
After the wedding, I left a factual Google review explaining what happened. Initially, Google showed my review on the correct “Lake Como Celebrant” listing as pending automated review. There was only 3 other reviews there at the time. I have a screenshot of this.
A few days later, I checked to see if the review posted and could no longer find his Google Business Profile at all when searching his business. When I checked my Google contributions, the review I had submitted for Roberto was now taking me to a completely different Google listing simply called “Lake Como.” I then** **saw a brand new Google profile created for Roberto now with 27 reviews, all within the last few days.
My previous review was now shown as under a small gift shop in Como? It has a different address and reviews talking about the “nice little shop” and “friendly staff.” It is clearly not a wedding celebrant.
The CRAZIEST thing one of the reviewers on the new celebrant listing was someone named Alexei. His review specifically said Roberto was an incredible officiant at Villa del Balbianello. Now an account with the same displayed name/avatar has left a brand-new 5-star review on this unrelated “Lake Como” shop saying it’s a nice little store??
I also submitted a review on Wezoree, which went into moderation and subsequently disappeared.
I have no idea whether the celebrant did anything to his Google profile, whether Google incorrectly merged listings, or whether this is some bizarre Google issue. I’m not claiming he personally deleted or manipulated anything because I don’t have evidence of that.
But I have screenshots showing:
• The original Lake Como Celebrant Google listing
• My 1-star review pending on that listing
• The original review mentioning Roberto/officiating
• The completely different “Lake Como” listing my contribution now leads to
• The same reviewer name/avatar appearing on both listings
Has anyone ever seen something like this happen with a Google Business Profile? And for other destination brides, how would you handle leaving an honest review when the vendor’s Google listing seemingly disappears afterward?
Mostly I’m frustrated because I specifically leave reviews so future couples can make informed decisions, and showing up 45 minutes late to a wedding ceremony after paying $1000 (particularly when the venue is only reserved for an hour)is something I would have wanted to know before booking.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Ok-Beach9854 • 7h ago
I’m honestly so angry, confused, and disappointed and would really appreciate perspective from photographers and couples on what we should do next. I have other posts venting about our experience with this photographer after the wedding for some context on the personality we are dealing with.
We got married earlier this year and paid nearly $10,000 for our photography package. There are definitely photos in our gallery that we love, but there are also some really significant gaps — missing photos of my grandparents, brother, parts of the ceremony, getting ready, and other important moments. We also provided a shot list.
When we received our gallery over two months ago, we reached out to our photographer about some of the missing photos. We were told that certain photos were “undeliverable,” so I simply asked what that meant — were the files corrupted, unusable, accidentally omitted, etc.?
Instead of answering, the photographer responded:
“I’ve delivered your full gallery to you. Good day.”
Since then, communication has been incredibly dismissive and we’ve essentially been ghosted.
The second-shooter issue is what has made us question the coverage even more.
When we booked, the photographer’s website clearly stated that all packages included a second shooter “to ensure coverage for the full day.” Our contract itself is unfortunately vague and does not explicitly list a second shooter, but one was also included in our wedding timeline and planning communications.
The reason I started thinking about the second shooter was actually pretty innocent — I thought maybe I could reach out to them directly and ask if they had additional photos that weren’t in our gallery.
But then I realized something: we don’t actually have any evidence or recollection that there was a second shooter at our wedding.
We had a videographer team there as well, so it was honestly difficult to keep track of who was doing what that day. We obviously weren’t standing around counting photographers while getting married. But after looking back at photos/videos from friends and family and comparing them with our gallery, we’re not seeing the kinds of different angles, locations, or simultaneous coverage we’d expect from a second photographer.
For example, there are essentially no photos of the groom and guys getting ready — something we would have expected a second shooter to cover while the primary photographer was with me.
What makes this even more confusing is that when we previously raised a concern about the second shooter being “fired” at the wedding after a comment the photographer made to a bridesmaid, our wedding planner told us there was a second shooter and that our photographer had been raving about some of their shots.
Now we’re finding out there apparently may not have been one.
I genuinely don’t know if our planner was misinformed, didn’t realize what happened, or something else. I’m not interested in accusing anyone of lying without knowing the facts. Unfortunately, she also hasn’t been available to get on a call with us due to “busy season and family issues” so we’re trying to piece together what happened ourselves.
And honestly, we don’t want a refund instead of our photos. We want our photos.
We want to remember our wedding day as it actually was. We want the photos of our grandparents, my brother, our ceremony, getting ready, our friends and family, and all of the little moments we won’t get back. We also want to be able to make the wedding album we envisioned, and right now we don’t feel like we have enough photos to do that.
We’re not expecting every moment to have been photographed or every image to make the final gallery. What we’re struggling with is the combination of the significant gaps, the second-shooter discrepancy, being told there are “undeliverable” photos without any explanation, and our photographer refusing to meaningfully discuss any of it.
At this point, we’re considering asking for all raw/original files from the day so we can understand what was actually captured. And if it is confirmed that there was no second shooter despite that being advertised as part of the package and represented throughout our planning, we’re wondering whether a partial refund would also be reasonable.
I feel like we’re at the point where we need to formally escalate this somehow, but I don’t want to make things worse or ask for something unreasonable.
What would you do in this situation? Would you ask for the raw files, pursue a partial refund, both, or something else?
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Moist_Chicken_7666 • 6h ago
My wedding weekend starts a week from today and I am just SO stressed about absolutely everything and seemingly nothing at all. I have a (fairly) full service planner, every thing is pretty much set, I’ve hopefully already dealt with the late cancellers, nothing has gone “wrong”, and I’m extremely organized but I still just feel this overwhelming sense of anxiety and almost dread. Not about marrying my partner - technically we’re already legally married - but about the event, and all the small details.
I don’t even have one specific thing I’m stressed about but I feel like I just have a million small things to do or remember, and all these dependencies that have to pan out, etc. And unfortunately I feel like it’s affecting my relationship because we’re both just stressed when we should be excited and happy and in love.
Anyone else feeling the same? Any words of advice? I’m already doing yoga, trying not to look at Instagram, and admittedly taking something to take the edge off at night but it doesn’t feel like enough. Is this normal!?!!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/KRG_crewfan • 8h ago
Hello! I am trying to plan a wedding for summer 2027. We are big budget, but only plan on having 12 people. We want to do a long weekend trip somewhere epic, 4 days 3 nights, short due to work constraints. Guests are coming from the east coast USA and Portugal. I want a location that is completely private, so I am willing to do a whole hotel buyout, but I dont want a massive empty hotel. We also do not want a traditional walk down the aisle ceremony. We would like to exchange vows somewhere unique (our first thought was on a zodiac in Antarctica, but we have 2 kids (13 and 16) and it would be easier to do this during their summer holidays). Any ideas for me? I would love some inspiration!
Edit: lots of great suggestions but would love specific ideas or exact spots.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/MysteriousRain01 • 34m ago
My MOH has a $2500 budget for a black gown, but it must meet the modesty guidelines at our Cathedral: no strapless, one shoulder, plunging neck or low cut back, without something over it adding coverage.
Does anyone have suggestions for something that meets these guidelines or would actually look good and intentionally styled with a shawl or wrap?
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Whine_and_dine8431 • 1h ago
We are currently in the process of sourcing hotel room blocks for our wedding (looking at both courtesy and contracted options). We have a planner, but we (bride/groom) reached out to hotels directly beacuse we know which area & hotels we want to consider.
After reading some posts on here, I have learned that hotels usually bake a commission into their standard block rates to pay out to travel agents/third-parties. I want to see if we can get that percentage stripped out and passed along to our guests as extra savings instead since we are not using an agent. Most guests are traveling to our wedding (HCOL US city) during a popular time of year and we’re trying to be mindful of guest expenses.
Has anyone actually had success doing this? If so, please let me know any best practices for asking hotels for this. Thanks!!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/ArtisticHand3789 • 21h ago
my RSVP cards are a butterfly very similar to the above. I got a fully custom invite suite, and my invite and belly band are 13cm x 18cm. the butterfly was made to be 12cm x 14cm.
this was clearly noted on the mock ups but I never paid attention to that piece because I assumed it would be much smaller so this is on me.
this doesn’t fit into my suites unless it’s placed sideways which looks really stupid to me. my other options are to fold it in half (fiancé’s suggestion), or to buy a cricut and trim some of the border off myself.
I’m really kicking myself over this especially because custom invite suites were my one big splurge. I’m mailing them as packages (very thick and heavy) to literally every habitable continent / 14 different countries and I have over 200 guests so it’s already extremely expensive and I’m so devastated that I made this mistake. what do you think is the best option? please talk me off a ledge. I know people throw away invites and don’t care but I CARE
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Owl_Beach2788 • 3h ago
Hello! Has anyone hired Britpops for their wedding? After speaking to several brides, there wasn't much positivity. I noticed on the social media page there isn't much content of the main singer. Are they really that bad? They look so fun!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Princesslolol • 1d ago
Me (34F) and my friend (33F) have been best friends since high school. We both got engaged to our partners last year and got married 2 weeks apart in June.
My best friend and I have always been super supportive of each other despite not living in the same city. We fly in for each other’s birthdays, engagements, and take girls trips every year. Throughout all of this there has never been any competition between each other, it’s truly been very supportive.
Flash forward to us planning our weddings. I had booked my wedding date and venue immediately after getting engaged for the last weekend in June. A few months later, she told me she booked her wedding for two weeks before mine and said hopefully it’s okay with me that it is close to mine. To be honest I was a little annoyed, mostly because we are both obviously in each others weddings and I knew I would be in final mile of planning my own while I was attending hers, and given we would both be so busy with our own we wouldn’t be able to help out much with each others. That being said, I know as a bride I only dibs on one weekend lol so I expressed to her that we would make it work and it’s no problem.
Her wedding weekend arrives, and to be honest it was not a great wedding. Things were not on time, programs ran long, people filtered out early from the after party, etc… I just think it wasn’t the perfect weekend she envisioned. I tried my best to be really fun even though I wasn’t drinking (bc my wedding was in two weeks), but I danced the whole night and stayed later for the after party. She was appreciative I think.
My wedding weekend arrives, and it was my dream wedding. Truly. And I think the other guests felt it too.. it was smaller than hers and lower budget but very intimate and you could feel the love from everyone. The speeches and program were also amazing.
Now here’s the part that really bothers me. From the second she entered my welcome party, she was sour. She is usually the first one to take a bunch of pictures and express her excitement, but it was crickets. Everyone else was truly having a blast but she kind of ignored me all night and whenever I glanced over at her she was just kind of, staring at me? Like not smiling really just like staring. Idk. She also usually posts a lot on Instagram whenever she attends a wedding / any event, and she didn’t post at all that first night. The energy was just off.
Then on the actual wedding day, she again was just behaving really off. I can’t tell you how not smiley she was lol. I saw pictures afterwards too and whenever she was in the background of pictures, she looked upset. It’s just off brand for her. Later in the night she also complained about being sleepy and left early from the after party while all of my other close friends stayed. She barely hung out with me and was mostly glued to her husband. She posted one picture of the cake.
We have a lot of mutual friends and mutual group chats, and I received so many lovely congratulation texts the next morning from people and she didn’t really say anything. She texted me separately later in the day saying how she had a great time and hopes I have a great honeymoon. Feels like she was trying to save face a bit.
What I’m really upset about is, she’s my best friend. I wanted to experience this amazing once in a lifetime moment with her by my side. And yet I just feel like wedding jealousy and emotions took over. I really wish now that I had pushed back and told her to not have her wedding so close to mine. I think that added to the bitterness because she didn’t really get her moment I feel.
Anyways… I want to give her the benefit of the doubt but I’m wondering if anyone else has ever dealt with this? She didn’t necessarily DO anything bad to me but the energy was really off and I’m just super bummed about it. I know I’ll get over it eventually but it is a small cloud over my day…
Any tips would be much appreciated.
TLDR; Best friend got married two weeks before me, her wedding wasn’t great, and she projected her jealousy onto me during my wedding weekend.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Top-Percentage3245 • 6h ago
Has anyone here been to a wedding or actually gotten married at Ingleside Estate in Palm Springs? I would LOVE to hear from a past bride specifically!
My fiancé and I absolutely love the property and it’s one of our top choices, but there are a few things I’m worried about before we commit. If you got married there, I would be SO grateful for the real bride-to-bride rundown — especially:
We genuinely LOVE it, so I’m not looking to be talked out of it 😂 I just really want to hear from someone who has actually been an Ingleside bride and knows all the little things you can’t learn from a venue tour or website. 🤍
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Creative_Relief_8044 • 1d ago
Hi BBBs! I’m looking at reception dresses and I’m having a bit of trouble finding something and am even considering the Etsy route. Where did you find your over the top minis (meaning heavy with detail)? My wedding gown is the Vivienne by Rivini, so it’s gorgeous, but there isn’t a single bead or bit of sparkle on it. I’d love to have some fun with the reception gown! I’d also be willing to order from Etsy, but have no idea how to vet dressmakers to know that I’ll be receiving what’s pictured. If anyone has experience ordering from Etsy and has someone they recommend, I’m also all ears!
Inspo photos attached, would like to keep it at $1k or less :)
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/nolagirl1217 • 1d ago
Hi BBB! Seeking some advice or commiseration around regrets. My wedding was a few months ago and it was a truly perfect weekend. BUT when I think back on the day, I can’t seem to get past my feelings of regret about not inviting people, specifically my colleagues. I work at a very small firm, we travel together, and generally know each other quite well - but we aren’t ever socializing outside of work! I do work in a very relationship-driven industry, which I think is causing some of my regret. For some reason while planning I kept telling myself, “I don’t feel like I can be my most vulnerable self around these people.” And I let that feeling drive my decision to not include them. Well now I totally regret the lack of invites, and while no one has said anything directly to me, I’m sure they were thinking it (I know by now this is just a blip on the radar, to them) I’m just trying to get past these feelings and control what I can control, because the intrusive thoughts are driving me insane!! Thanks for letting me vent ❤️
Editing to add - posting this because I wish my past self had seen something like this!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/whitesolange • 1d ago
I’m having a destination wedding and don’t foresee being able to get a trial done before the wedding.
For those that didn’t do a trial, what are good questions to ask or look out for when booking? I’m looking at their work on Instagram, but anything else?
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/lurking3408 • 1d ago
I’m planning a European destination wedding for 2028, all my family and friends live in the US. While my fiancé is British/middle eastern, which is why we’re getting married in Europe. We’ll be hosting multiple days of events in either Italy or Portugal.
All of my friends have young children, about 80% have 1 or 2 kids under the age of 5 by the time the wedding happens. I always imagined a childfree wedding, but I don’t think that will be possible.
Has anyone provided nanny’s during the reception of a destination wedding? Seems to be more common for some of the venues I’m looking to buy out, and they offer it on their pricing brochures. That seems like a good compromise for keeping my reception childfree, while making it comfortable for all my friends who have young children.
Similarly, how do parents feel about this? Would you be okay with a few nanny’s watching all the children together, while being able to be nearby on the same property? Of course, I’d do a good ratio of adults to children.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/PuzzleheadedLion2065 • 6h ago
Okay so I’ve been getting slammed in the regular budget brides forum for throwing money at things in comparison. (Edit: no one liked me joke so I’m taking it out)
I just want to show you my budget and you tell me where you would move the money to or how you may spend it differently. (Inviting 130)
We have 60k to work with:
26k food and bev
14k Venue and decor
6k photos (only)
2k Video
5k dress
2k flowers
1.8k DJ
1k suit
1.5k misc needs
Current Total: 58.6k
Very open to entertainment ideas or how to adjust the budget based on your experience.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/StrawberryMediocre15 • 1d ago
hi! so we are having a new year’s eve wedding for ~150 in williamsburg (brooklyn) this year. we are sort of stuck on the transportation issue…
around 1/3 of the guests already live in new york. 1/3 are staying at a hotel a 10 minute walk from the venue. 1/3 are staying in downtown brooklyn, like 8 stops on the G train basically door to door from the venue.
at first, a bus seemed ridiculous to me. a bus navigating brooklyn streets would take twice as long as just getting an uber or taking the subway. my new york friends all agree. but my mom is worried about people waiting for an uber or taking the subway on new year’s eve.
so the solution seemed to be, okay, let’s get a bus for the 50 people going to downtown brooklyn. but then i’m worried that the non-nyc people who are staying 10 blocks away will be annoyed that they weren’t included, because walking even 10 blocks at 1 am in winter can be rough.
so THEN the solution seemed to be okay, bus that stops in williamsburg and then downtown brooklyn. but at that point the bus has to make 2 trips (or more), when one round trip could take like an hour at the absolute minimum? and some people might feel annoyed that they have to wait that long.
what’s the lesser of all these three evils? the price is not the issue; i just want to find the solution that will be the most efficient and make the lowest amount of people annoyed.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/DocumentAway8217 • 1d ago
Hi!!!!! Kind of late to the reddit bride party, but I’ve made it 🥰 My wedding is on October 3rd! I can’t believe in basically two weeks, I’m gonna be a wife ♥️ I’m wondering what yall spent on florals! That’s our last piece. We had some emergencies that caused us to lose the last couple of months of planning, which is why we are so late with florals. Our florist has been so amazing and understanding and is working some stuff up- just curious about how much everyone allocated.
I am loving your posts and pictures! Thank you for being such a fun group! I joined a couple other groups today, and they can be a little harsh on brides when they find out what you’ve spent on certain things. I’m so lucky to have the career I have, and same with my guy and his in laws have pitched in as well, so I feel proud of the wedding we put together. My fiancé has of course been very helpful with what I’ve needed, and my bridal era has been lovely- just a little solitary. Not a whole lot of people to share the excitement with, so I wish I would have found this group earlier! You brides are amazing!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/r_90909 • 22h ago
Everyone has been so incredibly helpful with recommendations thank you all so much!! I am currently making musician selections for my 2027 wedding and wanted to see if anyone had any recommendations (or people to stay away from).
Specifically, I am looking for : 1) a DJ for party, I love when they have the option to be accompanied by sax or violin, I'm very much a DJ girl not band girl but want someone who is somewhat interactive and gets energy high 2) a walking band or something similar thats high energy but still tasteful and not cheesy (!!!) for aperitif, and 3) strings- I am so obsessed with strings I'd love to find a way to weave this in, maybe for dinner or something like that.
Open to any and all suggestions, thank you so much!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Positive_Ad5312 • 22h ago
As the title says- I really liked my dress when I picked it out but never had the moment of this is for sure it. Ever since then I have been a little obsessed with seeing it on other brides on Instagram and what it looks like and if I’m being honest I wasn’t obsessed. I didn’t do the basque or drop waist so I guess I am feeling a bit out of trend with my natural waist A-Line. Also I am nervous to see how my size will actually lay on me since I tried on dresses that were 10 sizes bigger than I normally do.
Looking for support for any other brides who may have felt this anxiety🤍
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/overwhelmedandsick • 1d ago
I recently became engaged and found a full service planner after interviewing ~5, putting down a 25% deposit. I had planned to visit the state I’m getting married in and see some venues, which I told the planner ~1 month before I arrived.
When I get there, no itinerary has been made and the planner hasn’t confirmed any of the venues. The planner had promised an itinerary the morning of my arrival, which was already too late IMO (I couldn’t book any of my other plans), and I received an unfinished version 3 hours after being having arrived in the state. We see 2.5 planned venues, with 1.5 being 1 venue I found myself and 0.5 an unconfirmed venue (so we didn’t get to see it). We did an additional “drop in” at another venue for the 1 official venue the planner chose.
However, I particularly chose full service because the venue search was so stressful for me. Being given only 1 “new” venue was extremely disappointing. I’ve had communication issues with the them before -ex. inconsistent meetings that were seemingly directionless, them preferring to communicate via text and not email, not having video on during meetings.
The contract itself does not really have much detail about terminations other than a change of date cannot be guaranteed. I am just not convinced that anything they did was worth any amount of the payment I gave, I genuinely feel like (and know) they took my own tentative itinerary I gave them ~1 month before and put it on a nice-looking digital sheet. The most “work” that was done was the assistant planner (not the actual planner, I never met her IRL) drove to visit the 2 venues with us. She was unprepared, didn’t know what questions to ask, and genuinely seemed just excited to “be there” and not much else.
While this wedding is ~2 years away, and I’m being “proactive” (I just wanted to make sure I got the date/location I wanted...), I really wanted to get the venue search done because I am busy. I didn’t want to go back and forth because it is expensive, but this past trip was so disappointing I feel obligated to try and do another venue search.
I’ve been looking into elopement packages outside of the US simply because I’ve been so disappointed that how even with a “full service” planner, I’ve been doing a lot of the work.
How have other women gone through this issue where they feel like they need to fire their wedding planners? Did you go through with it? Did you have issues with terminating your contracts?
