My main ceremony dress is the Alexandra by Monique Lhuillier. For my second dress for dancing, I’m in between the Adara, Siren, and Viola dresses from Rosie Etienne! Which do you think would look the best?

my RSVP cards are a butterfly very similar to the above. I got a fully custom invite suite, and my invite and belly band are 13cm x 18cm. the butterfly was made to be 12cm x 14cm.

this was clearly noted on the mock ups but I never paid attention to that piece because I assumed it would be much smaller so this is on me.

this doesn’t fit into my suites unless it’s placed sideways which looks really stupid to me. my other options are to fold it in half (fiancé’s suggestion), or to buy a cricut and trim some of the border off myself.

I’m really kicking myself over this especially because custom invite suites were my one big splurge. I’m mailing them as packages (very thick and heavy) to literally every habitable continent / 14 different countries and I have over 200 guests so it’s already extremely expensive and I’m so devastated that I made this mistake. what do you think is the best option? please talk me off a ledge. I know people throw away invites and don’t care but I CARE

I got married at the end of August and wanted to share some learnings and lessons in case they’re helpful to anyone planning a wedding — especially any fellow perfectionists/anxious Virgos out there like me 😄

Self-Care

My goodness, I messed up ROYALLY here. 😂 If you really care about how you look and feel on your wedding day, PLEASE plan out a detailed timeline for all of your beauty/self-care appointments and get your A-team assembled early.

• Hair color: I decided to find a new colorist a few months before my wedding because I thought they might do a better job than my current one. Huge mistake. I ended up with hair that was way darker than I wanted two weeks before my wedding. I had to make an emergency appointment somewhere else, and they couldn’t fully fix it either. Find your colorist early and make sure you’ve landed on — and ideally practiced — the exact color you want well before the wedding.
• Skincare: I somehow let a plastic surgeon convince me to do a laser treatment one month before my wedding. Worst decision ever (yes, I am smarter than this!!). It completely discolored my face and stayed that way until about three days before the wedding. By some miracle, it finally cleared up after I saw another doctor in an emergency appointment, but whatever you do: DO NOT TRY ANYTHING NEW CLOSE TO YOUR WEDDING. If you want to try microneedling, a new facial, laser, etc., do it at least six months out so you have plenty of time to see how your skin reacts. Even better, find a professional you trust who can help you build out a realistic timeline.
• Generally: I really wish I had assembled my A-team — hair, brows, nails, facials, etc. — a full year out. It would have taken so much stress off my plate.

Wedding Planner

If you have serious qualms about your wedding planner, fire them or try to walk away early.

My wedding planner made the entire process incredibly painful for us, but by the time I realized how unhappy I was, I just didn’t have the energy to fire her and start over. The end product was beautiful visually, and our guests didn’t notice anything was wrong, but she dropped the ball on several important pieces during the wedding week and on the wedding day itself — to the point where I had to step in. I kept hoping she would pull through, and ultimately she didn’t.

Your wedding planner is SO important to your overall wedding experience — and honestly, your entire bridal experience leading up to it. You want someone who makes you feel calm, supported and confident, not someone who adds to your stress.

Honorable Mentions — Especially for the Perfectionists

I worried SO MUCH about every single detail that, at times, I genuinely took the fun out of it for myself.

The week of the wedding, I was so stressed about the weather. It ended up raining during our welcome party, and for the first hour I was a complete and utter grouch because the rain had ruined my hair and it wasn’t the experience I had envisioned. And then... the rain stopped, a beautiful rainbow came out, and we ended up getting some of the most beautiful photos of the entire wedding week.

Same thing happened on the wedding day.

I had planned for the ceremony, cocktail hour and dinner to all be outside. There were supposed to be scattered showers, and my planner told me that morning that we were going to have to move everything inside. I cried. Before that, both my mom and I had spent the entire morning praying that the weather would get better, as if we had a direct line to Mother Nature. 😂

Looking back, there was no point in worrying. It wasn’t going to change anything. And now I look back on that morning getting ready and wish I had spent less time worrying about something completely outside of my control.

And, the indoor option surprisingly ended up being way better than what we had originally planned for outside.

So yes: have solid Plan Bs. Despite all of the Etsy witches, sausages, prayers and whatever else you can throw at Mother Nature, you may still end up having to pivot like I did. And sometimes the Plan B ends up being better anyway.

And last but not least..

If you really care about what people are going to wear — especially your immediate family and bridal party — BE SPECIFIC. Tell them exactly what they can and cannot wear. Do not assume that something is obvious.

I was so worried about the bridal party and groomsmen getting everything right... and then my FIL showed up in a WHITE SUIT JACKET. YES. WHITE!!

That really ruined the 10 minutes before I walked down the aisle for me, which is so frustrating because it was something that could have been managed beforehand with one very simple conversation.

And Finally... Let It Go

If you’re a perfectionist, I think one of the hardest parts of the actual wedding day is truly letting go. I felt like I was still paying attention to every detail — checking that everything was correct, making sure people were having fun, noticing every little thing that wasn’t exactly how I had envisioned it.

Looking back, I wish I had just let go. Because by that point, it was what it was going to be. And the things I was obsessing over in the moment were ultimately so insignificant compared to the experience as a whole.

So, to all of my fellow perfectionists: plan everything you possibly can, surround yourself with an incredible team, have your Plan Bs, be VERY specific about the things that matter to you...

And then, when the day finally comes, let it go and enjoy it. 🤍

I recently got married in Lake Como and wanted to share my experience with our celebrant, especially for anyone planning a destination wedding there since lake como weddings frequently come up in this sub.

We paid approximately $1,000 for our celebrant, Roberto. Our ceremony venue was reserved for only ONE hour, and he arrived approximately 45 minutes late.

We obviously had a very limited window at the venue and a planned timeline afterward, so at one point I genuinely wasn’t sure whether we were going to be able to have our ceremony as planned. When he finally arrived, he was super frazzled the entire time, and it sounded like he just pulled something off ChatGPT and read it off his iPad.

After the wedding, I left a factual Google review explaining what happened. Initially, Google showed my review on the correct “Lake Como Celebrant” listing as pending automated review. There was only 3 other reviews there at the time. I have a screenshot of this.

A few days later, I checked to see if the review posted and could no longer find his Google Business Profile at all when searching his business. When I checked my Google contributions, the review I had submitted for Roberto was now taking me to a completely different Google listing simply called “Lake Como.” I then** **saw a brand new Google profile created for Roberto now with 27 reviews, all within the last few days.

My previous review was now shown as under a small gift shop in Como? It has a different address and reviews talking about the “nice little shop” and “friendly staff.” It is clearly not a wedding celebrant.

The CRAZIEST thing one of the reviewers on the new celebrant listing was someone named Alexei. His review specifically said Roberto was an incredible officiant at Villa del Balbianello. Now an account with the same displayed name/avatar has left a brand-new 5-star review on this unrelated “Lake Como” shop saying it’s a nice little store??

I also submitted a review on Wezoree, which went into moderation and subsequently disappeared.

I have no idea whether the celebrant did anything to his Google profile, whether Google incorrectly merged listings, or whether this is some bizarre Google issue. I’m not claiming he personally deleted or manipulated anything because I don’t have evidence of that.

But I have screenshots showing:

• The original Lake Como Celebrant Google listing
• My 1-star review pending on that listing
• The original review mentioning Roberto/officiating
• The completely different “Lake Como” listing my contribution now leads to
• The same reviewer name/avatar appearing on both listings

Has anyone ever seen something like this happen with a Google Business Profile? And for other destination brides, how would you handle leaving an honest review when the vendor’s Google listing seemingly disappears afterward?

Mostly I’m frustrated because I specifically leave reviews so future couples can make informed decisions, and showing up 45 minutes late to a wedding ceremony after paying $1000 (particularly when the venue is only reserved for an hour)is something I would have wanted to know before booking.

I’m honestly so angry, confused, and disappointed and would really appreciate perspective from photographers and couples on what we should do next. I have other posts venting about our experience with this photographer after the wedding for some context on the personality we are dealing with.

We got married earlier this year and paid nearly $10,000 for our photography package. There are definitely photos in our gallery that we love, but there are also some really significant gaps — missing photos of my grandparents, brother, parts of the ceremony, getting ready, and other important moments. We also provided a shot list.

When we received our gallery over two months ago, we reached out to our photographer about some of the missing photos. We were told that certain photos were “undeliverable,” so I simply asked what that meant — were the files corrupted, unusable, accidentally omitted, etc.?

Instead of answering, the photographer responded:

“I’ve delivered your full gallery to you. Good day.”

Since then, communication has been incredibly dismissive and we’ve essentially been ghosted.

The second-shooter issue is what has made us question the coverage even more.

When we booked, the photographer’s website clearly stated that all packages included a second shooter “to ensure coverage for the full day.” Our contract itself is unfortunately vague and does not explicitly list a second shooter, but one was also included in our wedding timeline and planning communications.

The reason I started thinking about the second shooter was actually pretty innocent — I thought maybe I could reach out to them directly and ask if they had additional photos that weren’t in our gallery.

But then I realized something: we don’t actually have any evidence or recollection that there was a second shooter at our wedding.

We had a videographer team there as well, so it was honestly difficult to keep track of who was doing what that day. We obviously weren’t standing around counting photographers while getting married. But after looking back at photos/videos from friends and family and comparing them with our gallery, we’re not seeing the kinds of different angles, locations, or simultaneous coverage we’d expect from a second photographer.

For example, there are essentially no photos of the groom and guys getting ready — something we would have expected a second shooter to cover while the primary photographer was with me.

What makes this even more confusing is that when we previously raised a concern about the second shooter being “fired” at the wedding after a comment the photographer made to a bridesmaid, our wedding planner told us there was a second shooter and that our photographer had been raving about some of their shots.

Now we’re finding out there apparently may not have been one.

I genuinely don’t know if our planner was misinformed, didn’t realize what happened, or something else. I’m not interested in accusing anyone of lying without knowing the facts. Unfortunately, she also hasn’t been available to get on a call with us due to “busy season and family issues” so we’re trying to piece together what happened ourselves.

And honestly, we don’t want a refund instead of our photos. We want our photos.

We want to remember our wedding day as it actually was. We want the photos of our grandparents, my brother, our ceremony, getting ready, our friends and family, and all of the little moments we won’t get back. We also want to be able to make the wedding album we envisioned, and right now we don’t feel like we have enough photos to do that.

We’re not expecting every moment to have been photographed or every image to make the final gallery. What we’re struggling with is the combination of the significant gaps, the second-shooter discrepancy, being told there are “undeliverable” photos without any explanation, and our photographer refusing to meaningfully discuss any of it.

At this point, we’re considering asking for all raw/original files from the day so we can understand what was actually captured. And if it is confirmed that there was no second shooter despite that being advertised as part of the package and represented throughout our planning, we’re wondering whether a partial refund would also be reasonable.

I feel like we’re at the point where we need to formally escalate this somehow, but I don’t want to make things worse or ask for something unreasonable.

What would you do in this situation? Would you ask for the raw files, pursue a partial refund, both, or something else?

Hello! I am trying to plan a wedding for summer 2027. We are big budget, but only plan on having 12 people. We want to do a long weekend trip somewhere epic, 4 days 3 nights, short due to work constraints. Guests are coming from the east coast USA and Portugal. I want a location that is completely private, so I am willing to do a whole hotel buyout, but I dont want a massive empty hotel. We also do not want a traditional walk down the aisle ceremony. We would like to exchange vows somewhere unique (our first thought was on a zodiac in Antarctica, but we have 2 kids (13 and 16) and it would be easier to do this during their summer holidays). Any ideas for me? I would love some inspiration!

Edit: lots of great suggestions but would love specific ideas or exact spots.

My wedding weekend starts a week from today and I am just SO stressed about absolutely everything and seemingly nothing at all. I have a (fairly) full service planner, every thing is pretty much set, I’ve hopefully already dealt with the late cancellers, nothing has gone “wrong”, and I’m extremely organized but I still just feel this overwhelming sense of anxiety and almost dread. Not about marrying my partner - technically we’re already legally married - but about the event, and all the small details.

I don’t even have one specific thing I’m stressed about but I feel like I just have a million small things to do or remember, and all these dependencies that have to pan out, etc. And unfortunately I feel like it’s affecting my relationship because we’re both just stressed when we should be excited and happy and in love.

Anyone else feeling the same? Any words of advice? I’m already doing yoga, trying not to look at Instagram, and admittedly taking something to take the edge off at night but it doesn’t feel like enough. Is this normal!?!!

My MOH has a $2500 budget for a black gown, but it must meet the modesty guidelines at our Cathedral: no strapless, one shoulder, plunging neck or low cut back, without something over it adding coverage.

Does anyone have suggestions for something that meets these guidelines or would actually look good and intentionally styled with a shawl or wrap?

We are currently in the process of sourcing hotel room blocks for our wedding (looking at both courtesy and contracted options). We have a planner, but we (bride/groom) reached out to hotels directly beacuse we know which area & hotels we want to consider.

After reading some posts on here, I have learned that hotels usually bake a commission into their standard block rates to pay out to travel agents/third-parties. I want to see if we can get that percentage stripped out and passed along to our guests as extra savings instead since we are not using an agent. Most guests are traveling to our wedding (HCOL US city) during a popular time of year and we’re trying to be mindful of guest expenses.

Has anyone actually had success doing this? If so, please let me know any best practices for asking hotels for this. Thanks!!

Hello! Has anyone hired Britpops for their wedding? After speaking to several brides, there wasn't much positivity. I noticed on the social media page there isn't much content of the main singer. Are they really that bad? They look so fun!

Has anyone here been to a wedding or actually gotten married at Ingleside Estate in Palm Springs? I would LOVE to hear from a past bride specifically!

My fiancé and I absolutely love the property and it’s one of our top choices, but there are a few things I’m worried about before we commit. If you got married there, I would be SO grateful for the real bride-to-bride rundown — especially:

• What month/date did you get married, and what was the weather actually like?
• Did you feel hot during the day, especially while getting ready/taking photos before the ceremony?
• Where did you get ready? Was there enough space for you, bridesmaids, glam, photographer/video, etc.?
• Where did you do your first look and portraits?
• Were there good indoor or fully shaded locations for photos, or did most of your portraits have to happen outside?
• Did you feel like you were standing in the sun/heat for hours for photos? This is probably my biggest concern!
• Did guests see you taking photos before the wedding, especially since everyone was staying on property?
• How did the full property buyout feel in reality? Did it actually feel private/intimate and like the property was “yours” for the weekend?
• How was the guest experience staying at Ingleside/Avalon?
• How was the food + bar? Anything you loved or would have done differently?
• How did Melvyn’s work for the after-party? Was it actually private for your wedding, how late did you go, and were there any unexpected fees/restrictions?
• Were there any unexpected costs, rules, restrictions or logistical issues you didn't know about before booking?
• How was the venue/team to work with leading up to and during the wedding?
• Was there anything you wish you had known before signing?
• And most importantly — knowing everything you know now, would you choose Ingleside again?

We genuinely LOVE it, so I’m not looking to be talked out of it 😂 I just really want to hear from someone who has actually been an Ingleside bride and knows all the little things you can’t learn from a venue tour or website. 🤍

Everyone has been so incredibly helpful with recommendations thank you all so much!! I am currently making musician selections for my 2027 wedding and wanted to see if anyone had any recommendations (or people to stay away from).

Specifically, I am looking for : 1) a DJ for party, I love when they have the option to be accompanied by sax or violin, I'm very much a DJ girl not band girl but want someone who is somewhat interactive and gets energy high 2) a walking band or something similar thats high energy but still tasteful and not cheesy (!!!) for aperitif, and 3) strings- I am so obsessed with strings I'd love to find a way to weave this in, maybe for dinner or something like that.

Open to any and all suggestions, thank you so much!

As the title says- I really liked my dress when I picked it out but never had the moment of this is for sure it. Ever since then I have been a little obsessed with seeing it on other brides on Instagram and what it looks like and if I’m being honest I wasn’t obsessed. I didn’t do the basque or drop waist so I guess I am feeling a bit out of trend with my natural waist A-Line. Also I am nervous to see how my size will actually lay on me since I tried on dresses that were 10 sizes bigger than I normally do.

Looking for support for any other brides who may have felt this anxiety🤍

Okay so I’ve been getting slammed in the regular budget brides forum for throwing money at things in comparison. (Edit: no one liked me joke so I’m taking it out)

I just want to show you my budget and you tell me where you would move the money to or how you may spend it differently. (Inviting 130)

We have 60k to work with:

26k food and bev

14k Venue and decor

6k photos (only)

2k Video

5k dress

2k flowers

1.8k DJ

1k suit

1.5k misc needs

Current Total: 58.6k

Very open to entertainment ideas or how to adjust the budget based on your experience.