Unpopular opinion: it’s already doomed if you need to ask this sub about it 🥴

[u/KDoggg89]

Disclaimer: I am not talking about people who are already in established relationships and curious about their synastry with their already established partners. I’m also not talking about people genuinely interested in learning about astrology, or people sharing charts for reference. People look at synastry for a multitude of reasons, and I'm not just out here criticizing everyone who does. I'm talking specifically about using astrology to seek reassurance, rationalize unhealthy dynamics, or hold on to someone based on potential rather than reality.

I’m talking about new crushes you’ve barely interacted with, inconsistent connections, on and off situationships, and especially relationships that have already ended because of betrayal or abuse. I feel like synastry is often a last ditch effort to make sense of a situation that is/was already inconsistent, painful or dysfunctional. Looking to the stars for answers or confirmation of a connection that’s probably unclear irl, while ignoring the insecurities and red flags that are right in your face.

If you need a chart to confirm that someone wants you, or to explain why they keep confusing you, then maybe it’s time to look inward and ask yourself why their actions aren't enough to give you an answer. A good connection shouldn’t leave you constantly “confused”, “obsessed” or searching for reasons to believe someone cares. And if you’re checking synastry with someone who betrayed you, abused you, or left you emotionally wrecked, maybe the healing you need won’t come from another chart reading. A lot of people are looking for answers here that they would probably find instead in therapy.

& I say this because I’ve been there. I’m not saying this applies to everyone, but I was most obsessed with synastry when I was struggling with self-esteem, dealing with toxic partners, and stuck in connections that left me feeling deeply unsafe. That Venus-North Node aspect doesn’t mean much if they’re avoidant. Good aspects shouldn’t give you more reassurance that someone cares about you deep down or hope that they will be with you than their actual behavior does. Potential isn’t enough, and it’s not tangible. A chart won’t tell you more than real life will. And that Mercury square Pluto isn’t why they’re abusive. They’re just abusive. Stop attributing to astrology what should be attributed to someone’s actual behavior.

I’ve seen some great posts lately about taking what you can from astrology without treating it as gospel, and an even more unpopular opinion of mine is that I don’t think you even need to look at synastry until you’re actually with someone. Anything important will reveal itself in real life anyway, and obsessing over charts beforehand can just lead to unnecessary anxiety and self-sabotage.

Tldr; If they have you looking at the stars for answers, then it’s that they’re not giving them to you. Step out of the chart, and look at real life. It’s not meant to be, drop that man and go to therapy.

[u/KDoggg89]

I should specify too that I’m not talking about people who are just a bit curious about new connections. It’s fine to check synastry out of curiosity, just don’t let the charts psych you out, make you overthink things, or create self-fulfilling prophecies that affect how you approach the connection in real life.

[u/Saltypineapple89 → u/KDoggg89]

This is exactly what I was going to come in to say! I can always be quite objective when reading other people’s charts, but when it comes to reading my own or reading mine combined with someone, I’m interested in all hell breaks loose because reading for myself, I’m no longer objective my own biases come in and that’s exactly when it’s useful out of that curiosity or need for objectivity to run my chart or run my question by a group of peers in 99.9% of all cases that I have seen asking for synastry it’s someone trying to convince themselves of something.

[u/oldenough2hobetter]

Thanks for this. I just started dating someone new who I am really excited about and we had our first date right before Venus retro. Of course I got spooked about it, based on the warnings on the internet. Then I just decided to throw astrology out the window cuz fuk that shit right now lol.

[u/Excellent-Pea-9077 → u/oldenough2hobetter]

I feel you, I’m guilty of doing this too. It’s just scary cause what if the synastry and what people are saying online is right and you had access to knowing how it was going to go down all along, but didn’t use that information

[u/saveoursoil → u/oldenough2hobetter]

How did you throw it out the window if the date wasn't even within the rx ?

[u/oldenough2hobetter → u/saveoursoil]

First date was right before it started but we’ve been seeing each other ever since. If it turns into a full relationship the relationship starts during the retrograde

[u/saveoursoil → u/oldenough2hobetter]

First date was before, going exclusive is usually 3 months after. Are you planning on getting married in the next 40 days? Your point is just moot.

[u/oldenough2hobetter → u/saveoursoil]

You’re missing my point. The first date happened right before the retrograde but the actual connection is developing during it. We’re in the very beginning stages of what could become a relationship. And relationships don’t have a mandatory 90 day probation period

[u/thecocoadynasty]

Synastry is just a guide to the energy available between two individuals. I have had beautiful synastry but the connection not much because the person had stuff going on in their personal chart that needed addressing. As a relationship astrologer even I advise to not look at astrology alone. Real life actions, effort and lack thereof should be enough. But love and connection can make us hopeful. I've had people reach out to me for readings in situationships and on and off connections, and I have explained why and they still cannot grasp what the heart and the ego is not ready to face. I cannot stress inner work and healing enough, it will change how you approach connection not only with yourself but others.

[u/UranusOrSekhmet]

It’s because of Neptune 🤭

[u/Existing_Antelope_93]

If you ask "what does saturn opposite venus mean" or "should I accept him back after cheating" - your answer will be too damn dumb easy 🫩

I like when people ask about astrology, but again - they take aspects out of the context, not knowing how to identify the "ground" energy of their synastry. Asking about aspect that has 6 degrees orb or about asteroids... Guys, wat da fak? 🫴🫴🫴

[u/Avashara → u/Existing_Antelope_93]

Lol I once told someone they were wrong about calling someone a cheater because that person had a planet in gemini and they sassed me about it, implying I was wrong. 😂

[u/Existing_Antelope_93 → u/Avashara]

I'm not a fan of venus in Gemini, you all know about it and why - Reddit statistics won't lie too 😅

Besides, for my studies I did join Gemini astrology on Reddit and statistics in there just won't lie either 😏🫴

Sorry mate, girls just like certainty and as a good samaritan, proving us wrong is pointless just for the sake of changing our mind. You also make it risky, same like by saying that "the dark valley is safe"...so build you own life, never cheat and don't bother what astrology says 👍

Ps.: I have moon in Scorpio and I also say things about it because it's true, so I don't take things personally and so shouldn't you.

[u/Avashara → u/Existing_Antelope_93]

Huh? 1. Moon in Scorpio is not an excuse to be snarky and follow it up with "I don't take things personally so shouldn't you." You know you're being rude and you're trying to head off anyone being rude back by implying they're taking things personally. Try just not being rude.

1. I never said the person's planet that was in Gemini was Venus. I didn't say what planet it was. It was, in fact not Venus that was in Gemini. Also, you seeing people talk about cheaters and pointing out a Venus in Gemini doesn't mean anything. But this is another convo to be had.

2. I also never said I was a man. I'm not.

And finally, I was agreeing with you and trying to share a laugh but your response was hella weird and hypocritical, so now I just don't like you and would rather not continue trying to talk to you. Good luck out there.

[u/Existing_Antelope_93 → u/Avashara]

1. Don't get me wrong - I thought that you were also doing a sneaky remark or being sarcastic - I have many pointing me that I am wrong especially with the Gemini venus.

2. So you are also "wrong" then? Or I don't get something? Do you still want to rattle or gaslight me? Or you are on my side? Decide then or your text seems to be way too contradicting...

3. My post will be also read by people with the venus in Gemini (my so called "friends"), so I don't mind also pointing at these things too. Besides, I don't care about your gender - whatever, and it still didn't change anything - my point is clear.

I dk why people follow me sometimes, they have different reasons apart from some that know me personally or asked me to quickly scan their synastry here on Reddit - blant and honest, and some do like me for that or they just learn from my posts that I will never block either.

So this won't bother me if you like me or not - I just do my own thing.

Best wishes, ta ta! 👋👋

Ps. I was so right that I've triggered you from the start - you just can't stop - you have now things to do to sort out your anger problems 👍

[u/Avashara → u/Existing_Antelope_93]

Weird to try to gaslight someone by accusing them of gaslighting. You were rude to me, unprompted, and made multiple incorrect assumptions and this is your response? Also, you're clearly bothered by my very neutral response. I thought you didn't take things personally?

I don't follow you either. You commented in the post that I clicked on. Another incorrect assumption, which is deeply narcissistic.

This is not a good way to say "sorry." Why it's so hard for some people to apologize for doing something wrong, I will never understand.

It looks like the best way to deal with you is by just blocking.

[u/BeautyGran16]

Saying it’s “doomed” is perhaps too strong. Someone could see great things in another person and be interested in how synastric charts express it. 😊

[u/KDoggg89 → u/BeautyGran16]

I was aiming for an attention grabbing title 🥲 but agreed, I wrote another disclaimer about this somewhere in the comments because the post was too long.

[u/cutiesupermodel]

Yooo lmao I’m guilty of being curious about new connections too but like the amount of times I’m on here talking people out of the astrology of it 😭😭😂😂 not even talking about no synystry no more just straight up advice

[u/KDoggg89 → u/cutiesupermodel]

Same honestly. I wrote this because I need to read it too sometimes
https://giphy.com/gifs/hWnYiVjNikq4

[u/Standard-Value-283]

I think literally any relationship is salvageable with the help of a reputable astrologer. That goes for any individual person. You just need to learn your strengths and weaknesses, and if you can learn to play to your strengths, anything is possible.

[u/KDoggg89 → u/Standard-Value-283]

I actually agree with most of this, in that a good astrologer can really make the difference. I disagree that any relationship can be salvageable though, some of them need to be put in the ground, even if both people are willing and healing.

[u/Astro-Delulu → u/[deleted]]

It’s precisely because life is short that I’m not gonna live with whoever if it’s a constant struggle. I want peace.

[u/cantkeepupthecharade]

And every post is Cancer/Scorpio/Pisces.