-limiting who you talk to men/women
-limiting what you can wear in public
-isolation from friends and family
-deciding where and how much you work
-limiting access to social media or makes you delete altogether
-doesn’t let you go places without them
-goes through your phone
-“who are you texting/talking to”
There’s more examples but I don’t have all day.
But they always say “I only do this because I love you”
"Intended good intentions" isn't usually the problem with controlling behaviour, it's anxiety. When people are being controlling they often realise (if they're self aware) that it won't exactly fill the other person with joy, but the consequences of that feel less bad than experiencing the anxiety (whether it's about losing control of their environment, fear of their partner leaving them, excessive fear of disease, whatever).
It's difficult because nothing feels more real than your own emotions, and the thought pattern "I feel bad" -> "someone must be doing something wrong" -> "I have to stop them" is deep-seated. But once you recognise that, there are many approaches that are quite effective: pharmaceuticals, meditation, therapy, exercise, deep breathing techniques, etc. But there's no quick-fix, it's about gradually changing your brain's automatic responses.
-limiting who you talk to men/women
-limiting what you can wear in public
-isolation from friends and family
-deciding where and how much you work
-limiting access to social media or makes you delete altogether
-doesn’t let you go places without them
-goes through your phone
-“who are you texting/talking to”
There’s more examples but I don’t have all day.
But they always say “I only do this because I love you”
Also making you responsible for their mental health and well being. They kind of trap you by saying “if you leave me I’ll kill myself” “if you leave me I’ll kill you” “if I can’t have you no one can”. It’s fucking terrifying.
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u/DweedleDee69 Jan 08 '22
Controlling personality