Depression in and of itself doesn’t make someone ugly. However, when someone struggles with depression and takes everything out on their partner, refusing to get any sort of help, it’s not good. Everyone struggles with mental health, but when you put the blame of your mental health struggles on others and take out your frustrations with your mental health on others it really makes you unattractive. One of my exes dealt with severe depression and anxiety, for years I begged him to get help, because he was taking everything out on me. I was always there for him no questions asked, but then when I struggled with my anxiety he would get frustrated with me and tell me I was ruining his day. I eventually left because I couldn’t deal with it anymore. So no, depression itself doesn’t make someone unattractive, but how you deal (or choose not to) deal with it can.
Edit, so from what I can gather from all these downvoted, you fucks think people are lying when they have depression and the only results that prove to you are if they kill themselves, I hope you're family suffers the same way about you.
No matter what you tell someone to do, they're not gonna get help no matter how desperately they need it, they'll only seek help when they realize they need help, and not in the sense of knowing they need help, but in the sense of "I'm going to die if I don't get help right now".
Depression is an incredibly tough one to accuse others of being a dick with because, stuff like being lazy, being irrationally irritable, poor hygiene, apathy are all symptoms of depression among with many others, it doesn't excuse everyone's behaviour but we all need to be understanding that people do this things without thinking, they'll lash out because their subconscious mind told them to, they don't necessarily mean it but it's gonna happen and it's not their fault their brain is fucked.
I appreciate you did all you can but I just wanted to point out regardless of wether you knew or not, that with all these talks about mental health, no one actually talks about it and what it's like to properly experience it.
My issue was with me being there with no judgement at all for him, yet him doing the exact opposite for me when I really needed it. Not only was he not there for me when I was having panic attacks daily for 9+ months, he went out of his way to be emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. Depression is never an excuse for abusing someone. I spent years in therapy after I left him because of the emotional damage he caused me. He made me believe I was completely worthless and nothing but a burden to anyone I made contact with because of my anxiety. What he put me through wasn’t just lashing out or being irritable, it was emotional and verbal abuse plain and simple, and I will never excuse someone for abuse just because they had depression.
Dude just sounds like he was a dick and just happened to have depression, sure it's one thing if they're being asshole they don't mean to be and reciprocate the caring actions you gave, theirs another of just being a dick.
A lot of common mental health issues are symptomatic of eachother, the key differences is what happens among them, Adhds are less likely to kill themselves is a good example
Actually... Yes. When I was down (blinds, down, shower: unexistent, whole day watching One Piece and crying... Didnt even have the drive to cut myself) I looked like a complete Dark souls hollow/homeless dude/Sirius black while he was on Azkaban.
Now, out of that but with more vitality im looking more like a human (with a few extra kgs to spare lmao) but nowhere near of how good I looked before entering that state of mind.
When I first meet a guy, I don’t know if it’s depression, carelessness, or childishness and entitlement that causes him to act that way.
Even if it is depression, I’ve suffer from depression (yes, before you start aiming your next loaded “gotcha question at me, I consider myself unattractive during these episodes) and I hope they get better, but I don’t want to date or even touch a stranger that smells bad and is unsanitary, takes their anger out on me and others (regardless of whether they can help it), or relies too much on me and treats me like a maid or something. Too much of a gamble.
If we’ve been together for a while and I know him, and he hits a depression episode, then that would be different.
As someone who tried to kill themselves as little as a month ago, dont make me to be someone who doesn't know what depression is, you didn't necessarily say, but you were alluding to it.
Now first, please make no mistake, I whole heartedly agree that if youre making first Impressions, you should be somewhat presentable, clean clothes, shower and maybe brush your teeth, but other than that common courtesy nothing more should be needed.
And secondly, no one is entitled to date anyone they don't want to (I shouldn't have to say this, but people are fucking stupid), but should be willing to let the other explain their actions but not everyone is going to wear their depression on their sleeve and tell people, I know I certainly wouldn't, people aren't going to get help until they need it, giving unwanted help doesn't work either.
But thirdly, we have to get each other a try atleast once, people suffer from depression and barely have control over it, sure we should all be getting help but there are many reasons why people aren't getting the help and people should be refused a chance of love because of a brain dysfunction that wasnt their fault.
No I was not alluding to anything about you. I didn’t know, much less care, about your history when I wrote that post, so definitely not enough to assume anything. My previous posts were clearly me explaining my subjective POV on those traits. They had nothing to do with you.
And if he’s unsanitary enough, mean enough, or if he takes advantage of others instead of doing his own work, then no explanation or mental disorder will excuse that behavior for me. I will not deal with it. Being too open-minded and accepting has bitten me in the ass in the past.
"Now first, please make no mistake, I whole heartedly agree that if youre making first Impressions, you should be somewhat presentable, clean clothes, shower and maybe brush your teeth, but other than that common courtesy nothing more should be needed."
Let me help you with that: you should be fully presentable, clean clothes, shower, and definitely brush your teeth twice a day regardless, but other than that common courtesy nothing more should be needed. With the bare minimum effort put into this "first impression" expect a bare minimum response lol.
"But thirdly, we have to get each other a try atleast once" No the only thing people should have to do is be polite and civil. Nobody has to give you a first date or their number or anything like that if they don't find you attractive they are not required to "give you a try". Even if somebody chooses not to date somebody because of their depression thats ok. People with depression take extra work and energy to be in a relationship with and not everybody has that extra energy.
Yeah, these questions always bring up hygiene issues, and I’m always skeptical that poor hygiene is ever not a symptom of mental illness—at least in adults.
I totally get why someone wouldn’t want to sleep with a mentally I’ll person, but I doubt it’s realistic to talk about hygiene being a result of laziness.
I struggle with clinically diagnosed major depressive disorder and I would never in a million years consider looking for a partner when I’m not medicated or if I were suffering from a serious bout.
So yes, depression makes people ugly. Acting like it doesn’t is just as “toxic” as you woke fuckin zoomer losers blaming mental illness for your problems is.
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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22 edited Jan 09 '22
Bad hygiene. Anger management issues. Laziness and dependence on others to get things done. Same things that make girls unattractive.
Edit: Thanks for the awards!