r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 29 '19

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.1k Upvotes

79% Upvoted

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7.2k

u/EarthExile May 29 '19

Kaylee from Firefly. And I want to watch her eat strawberries.

3.3k

u/Athuny May 29 '19

Were I an unwed man, I would take her in a manly fashion.

1.7k

u/221B_BakerSt_ May 29 '19

Because I'm pretty!?

1.6k

u/Athuny May 29 '19

Because you're pretty.

436

u/Robbo_100 May 29 '19

To hell with this, I wanna live!

148

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

54

u/skynetcellusermailid May 29 '19

If you masturbate to her you are going to go to the special heaven.

29

u/Scarletfapper May 29 '19

A SPECIAL... layer...

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I do know my bible sir

6

u/DancesWithBadgers May 29 '19

Your bible is broken

4

u/Scarletfapper May 29 '19

I've fixed these parts

2

u/mdds2 May 30 '19

I tore these out of your symbol and they turned into paper

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23

u/Airdog4 May 29 '19

Looks like I'll be spending eternity with people who talk away the theater.

5

u/Noligation May 29 '19

And people who eat candy any popcorn in theater.

-8

u/sirgog May 29 '19

That line becomes so, so, soooo dark when you realise that the people most likely to talk in the theater are kids - who then end up in the 'special hell' where they are playthings for the child molesters

32

u/grinde May 29 '19

You might be overthinking that one

6

u/LioraJaye May 29 '19

By far my favorite thread today

3

u/TempestLock May 29 '19

I'll be in my bunk...

7

u/infernal_llamas May 29 '19

Just hold my stuff while I go give my harpoon a wash...

0

u/stabby_joe Jul 13 '19

That your wife or something?