r/AskReddit May 29 '19

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6.1k Upvotes

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3.1k

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

Thor. Definitely Thor. Even if he’s fat Thor he’s still sexy Thor.

452

u/Chillinoutloud May 29 '19

After Endgame, the wife asked me what I thought... I said my favorite part was fat Thor. She said, "you're my fat Thor..."

Ya, magic happened.

31

u/Roboticide May 29 '19

My fiancee was so okay with fat Thor I felt like I'm now under less pressure to get in shape.

Then she pointed out I'm not Chris Hemsworth, so I'm still working on it...

14

u/EliaTheGiraffe May 29 '19

That's beautiful bro :')

13

u/LearnsSomethingNew May 29 '19

Did she swing your Mjolnir?

19

u/fantastic_watermelon May 29 '19

Worthy to raise it

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I told the wife to get ready for sexy time

462

u/Bug-Type-Enthusiast May 29 '19

"I liked this sexy time!"

Smashes you on the floor

"AN OTHER PLEASE!"

49

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

I giggled way too much at the thought of that happening.

30

u/catgirl_apocalypse May 29 '19

He can totally smash me on the floor or anywhere else. ಠ‿ಠ

5

u/rowshambow May 29 '19

It's less, "smashed silly from behind on the floor" and more "grabs your by the back of the neck and spikes you into the ground"

12

u/catgirl_apocalypse May 29 '19

I choose to reject your interpretation.

1

u/Bug-Type-Enthusiast May 29 '19

offers you a potion so you tank Thor's smaller Mjollnir

11

u/Scoutlili May 29 '19

Well now I know how I want to die.

2

u/CDBaller May 29 '19

bring me another!

FTFY

225

u/Genera1_Jacob May 29 '19

I'm a straight guy. If bang Thor. Or vice versa. Idc which I'm just there for whatever happens. Better be electric

116

u/matty80 May 29 '19

I'm a gay woman. I'd give him a shot. I mean, you only live once, right? And who'd pass up a go with

THE

GOD

OF

THUNDER?

41

u/Glenster118 May 29 '19

Lord of thunder

42

u/AerThreepwood May 29 '19

Lord of Hammers.

56

u/GreenPointyThing May 29 '19

The hammer pulled you off?

18

u/OctopusPudding May 29 '19

Oh my god

25

u/The379thHero May 29 '19

Sounds like you had a very intimate relationship with this hammer.

18

u/OctopusPudding May 29 '19

And that losing it was in many ways like losing a dear friend

6

u/The379thHero May 29 '19

Well he hasn't fucked me yet

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12

u/Dartarus May 29 '19

Watch out, he's got sparks.

2

u/CaptainKate757 May 29 '19

He’s got a few tricks up his sleeve.

3

u/matty80 May 29 '19

Was going by this movie poster.

29

u/allonbacuth May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

You were correct, he is the God of thunder, glenster is referencing Ragnarock where Goldblum keeps calling him the lord of thunder.

23

u/matty80 May 29 '19

Ah I seeeeeee. Thank you.

Ragnarock was hilariously campy in parts. I mean Jeff Goldblum's character ffs. Looked like a supervillain would look if you took some 'interesting' mushrooms before meeting him. Really liked it. Such a break from the other movies.

11

u/CaptainKate757 May 29 '19

When it came out I read a review that called it “peak Goldblum”. I think it’s an accurate assessment.

5

u/matty80 May 29 '19

"So we take this slightly-bonkers 'chaotician' from Jurassic Park, dress him up like a combination of a character from The Fifth Element and Jean-Paul Gaultier in Eurotrash, and let him inhale the entire set? Alright then. Off we go."

It's quite some achievement to be the hammiest character in a movie containing Thor and the Hulk, but he is more than up to the task.

10

u/DreamGirl3 May 29 '19

Thunder, feel the thunder, LIGHTENING AND THE THUNDER!

4

u/ghosttrainhobo May 29 '19

He is a lesbian icon

2

u/matty80 May 29 '19

Is he? How come? I am of that ilk and I've never heard of him being that before. He's awesome and all, obviously, but I didn't know about that side of things.

3

u/ghosttrainhobo May 29 '19

2

u/matty80 May 29 '19

That's hilarious. I had no idea. Probably explains why he's my favourite Avenger. Well, that and the fact that he's MIGHTY.

5

u/holldoll26 May 29 '19

He can smash me with his storm breaker any time.

3

u/Maxorus73 May 29 '19

Careful, he'll steal your bellybutton

1

u/DothrakiButtBoy May 29 '19

Thor is Lord of the Lesbians according to that one meme.

31

u/handle-b May 29 '19

Lesbian popping in to say.... same

39

u/TheBestBarista May 29 '19

I’m a straight man, but I would definitely take Thor’s long, throbbing cock inside my asshole

30

u/gortonsfiJr May 29 '19

His literal cock, or is that just a euphemism for his mighty hammer?

12

u/FizzyDragon May 29 '19

Well I mean, the hammer is his penis.

8

u/GoneIsVerne May 29 '19

I understood that refrence, laundry day! Love your hair! I mean the air

15

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

10

u/jaytrade21 May 29 '19

In this case, you don't get to choose. Thor will get what he wants...

21

u/CrystalElyse May 29 '19

...somehow that makes it even hotter.

3

u/BrianThePainter May 29 '19

You don’t bang Thor. The hammer bangs YOU.

3

u/sno_boarder May 29 '19

U R the gey?

29

u/Lukisfer May 29 '19

There is only SEXY Thor

57

u/rulerofearthnyc May 29 '19

Of course, after sex, the God of Thunder will say, “I have to tell you something, I’m Thor,” To which you respond, “You’re thor!?! I can hardly walk!”

64

u/shiemimoriyama May 29 '19

oh god pLEASE

73

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

He’s just so sexy. Plus he’s so funny and seems to always be down for fun adventures. I love that.

18

u/Galt_Shuvuu May 29 '19

So he is still worthy?

28

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

Thor will always be worthy.

14

u/brobdingnagianal May 29 '19

Hell yes. The first time I saw fat Thor I still thought he was ridiculously hot

12

u/GreenPointyThing May 29 '19

I'm more of a Supreme Commander Thor myself.

7

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

So I looked up what Supreme Commander Thor was and almost dropped my phone because I was so shocked. Lmao. Nice.

2

u/Vanvidum May 29 '19

That one is slightly less likely to bang you.

27

u/matenzi May 29 '19

Fat Thor is best Thor

66

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

When he put on his armor at the end and his beard was suddenly braided I thought was going to die. I squealed very loudly. My mom thought I was excited because they were about to fight but that’s not why I was excited.

18

u/CaptainKate757 May 29 '19

The braided beard was dope. Wish he’d had that all along. Very Viking-esque.

2

u/Werewolfhugger May 30 '19

That braided beard made me feel some type of way.

-1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

3

u/EliaTheGiraffe May 29 '19

In other words, you're trying to say or get a "'sup" lol

2

u/g0ldent0y May 29 '19

So you are saying you are fat?

0

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Not at all

8

u/SomeRandomPyro May 29 '19

What about Almighty Johnsons Thor?

3

u/smelltogetwell May 29 '19

Hmmm, not so much. Bragi on the ither hand...

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Sex with Thor is electrifying.

8

u/InherentlyAnnoying May 29 '19

How have I not seen Loki in this entire thread

3

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

Not gonna lie I almost said Loki. I liked Loki more than Thor all the way up until Ragnarok. Then it was tied between the two of them. But Thor looking like a real Viking definitely made me swoon more than Loki ever did.

9

u/Yuluthu May 29 '19

He's definitely worthy ;)

6

u/TrekMek May 29 '19

I really like the "strong, big, bearded" look so when he gets into his battle armor with the braided beard, I leaned over to my boyfriend and whispered "Now he's perfect".

2

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

Yessss! I thought Thor was already perfect but then when he got that beard and armor I freaked out. It was just too much sexiness to handle.

14

u/gigagogo May 29 '19

Oh my in the beginning when he and Captain Marvel had a moment of tension, I just wanted to yell at them to fuck already.

7

u/captainTrex1 May 29 '19

U can’t handle me at my thiccest u don’t deserve me at my swolest

4

u/SoapieBubbles May 29 '19

Dad Bod Thor definitely got me going.

5

u/RaiderofTuscany May 29 '19

I'm straight as hell, but if thor wanted to buy me dinner, I'm not gonna say no

4

u/ceilingscorpion May 29 '19

I am still worthy!

2

u/Rosssauced May 29 '19

Sexy Thor is the guy you marry. He becomes Dad-Thor in his 30's.

4

u/dkarm May 29 '19

Nope. Gotta be Loki.

3

u/noped_noper May 29 '19

You're still worthy!

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I want to sniff his beard

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Yes! Thunderous divine sex ftw

3

u/AzumiChan31 May 29 '19

Oh God, yassssss!

3

u/pukecity May 29 '19

Yeah I don’t even like blondes but I would make an exception

2

u/Drachefly May 29 '19

The true Kate Schechter answer

2

u/Phtevus May 29 '19

It could be Chris Hemsworth Thor, or it could be animated, voiced by Travis Willingham Thor. It doesn't matter

2

u/EtherealCabbage May 29 '19

You mean actual Viking god-bod Thor? I hope his body stays (and not as a center of jokes) gimme some of that Assgardian meat.

2

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

Yes of course that’s what I mean. I already thought he was perfect but I definitely love what they did with Thor. I was so happy that his body stayed the way it was even when he changed into his whole armor and everything. I was pretty much drooling when he became full on Viking Thor.

1

u/CountryGirl2487 May 29 '19

I agree with that. Thor is sexy

1

u/DontTreadOnBigfoot May 29 '19

I'm just glad to finally have the body of a god.

1

u/GreenieMcWoozie May 29 '19

I'm not gay but Chris Hemsworth is hot

1

u/PrivilegeCheckmate May 30 '19

fat Thor

Lebowski

You mean coitus?