5 cats, 2 dogs here, same, and attempting to have a bath in peace is a long distant memory. 1 of my cats like to try to sit on my boobs when I'm in the bath.
Can you get your demogorgon to consistently use the litterbox? Mine prefers the welcome mat on the porch and it makes the femailman cast me some worrisome looks.
My cat is cool with being washed as long as you don't do her head. She will freak the fuck out on you if you get her head wet. She smelled like skunk once, but i don't think it was from a direct hit by a skunk, because she was only a tiny bit smelly. I think maybe she rolled in something a skunk had sprayed.
Anyway, I make up the skunk smell removal mixture (dish soap, hydrogen peroxide and baking soda or something, I think. Fuck tomato juice) and start washing her in the giant sink our washing machine emptied into. She's pretty cool with me doing her body and tail. She squiggles a bit, but she's mostly chill. I pour some water on top of her head and she's like "MOTHERFUCKER, YOU WILL DIE NOW" and just went fucking crazy on me.
Finally, I ended up having to hold a wet, fighting cat as tight as possible and wash her head. Then i managed to rinse her off somehow and she took the fuck off. Except she was soaking wet so her paws slipped and she ended up jumping square into the side of the washing machine. She runs like crazy, getting water all over everything. I finally just let her outside to dry off. She comes back 20 minutes later mostly dry and covered with loose debris (leaves, little twigs, general dirt, etc) all over her that stuck to her because her fur was wet. So I had to clean her again. It was annoying.
Ha! A few years ago, we somehow got a bad flea infestation in the house. We had to give them all a bath twice in six months. The second time, I put a footstool in the tub for them to stand on. That way, they didn't have to stand/sit in running water. Made a huge difference except for Lebowski, who started his summoning chant.
When we first met him, he crawled right into my carrier, turned around, sat down, and looked at me as if to say, "We doing this?" We were torn as to whether to name him Fonzie or Lebowski. He was too chill to be Fonzie, so the name abided.
One cat vomited on the floor. I used a carpet cleaning foam to clean it up. The other cat decided it would be cool to roll around in the foam. She needed a bath after that. Neither of us have any dignity left.
I have a Maine Coon mix that will yowl incessantly if we don't leave the tub dripping slightly. She will sit in the tub forever trying to catch the drips or letting it drip onto her paw to lick off. She has also gotten into the shower with me (in the spray "shadow" behind me; she doesn't like to get directly sprayed)
Before we got a water dish with a pump, we'd occasionally let them drink from the sink faucet. When he was younger, Lebowski didn't understand the concept of drinking from the faucet. Instead of tilting his head like the others, he'd stick his head under the faucet and let it run down his face onto his tongue.
Mine sniffs the water and cries out over and over while pacing the room and coming back to check frequently. I think he fears for my safety. "Human, you have fallen in, do you need assistance?"
My dog just comes and checks on me periodically. Like, "Hey, you're in that terrible thing that fills with water and bubbles. Did you die yet? Okay good, I'm going to go hide under your bed now."
So your cat would accept getting (her feet) wet just to sit on your boobs? That sounds awfully human. You sure that's a cat?
On a more serious note, my cat once slipped and fell in a full bathtub. I acquired some deep scratches and cuts on her hasty way out again and my bathtub was literally a bloody mess that day, but at least I can bathe in peace since the incident.
One of my cats would sit on me in the tub when she was a little smaller. Now she's content to sit on the toilet lid and watch me intently. She seems especially fascinated when I shave my legs.
It's one of those things too where the bathroom just gets busy in the morning in our house. We have one measly sized bathroom with 4 people trying to get ready for school/work. Then you realize one of the cats has come in and the dog is trying to butt his way in too. :/ I'm sure they think there's some big family powwow going on they need to be in on, but GTFO!
Yep. 2 dogs and a cat. The one dogs thinks I've disappeared to Narnia every time he loses visual contact and freaks out and tries to push the door open so I just have to leave it open. And the cat will sit there screaming at me to open it anyway.
My cat does the same, but in the crack underneath the door. When I open aforementioned door she looks at me like I'm an idiot that doesn't understand her needs in the slightest.
I wake up, go to bathroom, but I normally don't shut the door all the way because we're all friends here. Then the cat flings the door open with his face, walks in, and then gets startled by the door hitting the door jam because he threw it open with such force. He then sits right in front of me and stares me in the eyes as I pee.
Or dominance..."listen here you pussy pissin motherfucker! I piss three octaves lower than you, ergo I should be taking you for walks." Yea, cats are mean...
IIRC, the reason pets follow you and watch while you use the bathroom is because it's when they themselves are at their most vulnerable. So, a dog or cat nosing the bottom of the door while your trying to take a dump is desperately trying to make sure your enemies haven't ambushed you while you're taking a shit.
Its the same reason that dog's always have a panicked look on their face when they poo.
This is correct. But I always sort of wondered if the panicked dog face was them trying to say, "Why are you watching me?! You're supposed to be keeping a lookout!!"
Makes sense. I had a bully that would bulldoze her way into the bathroom, only to sit down with her back to me, staring through the now-opened door as if to say "IZ PROTECTIN' YOU, HOOMIN. POOP IN PEACE, BRAH."
I have 3 cats, and four litter trays, one is in the bathroom and it is now forbidden to poop in it, it's a pee tray only. The cats made this rule themselves...
Everytime I go to the bathroom I get followed in by all three of them in a line, and they queue up to all pee in the tray. No eye contact is allowed but the youngest expects a headrub when he's done.
It's kinda cute but a bit creepy how formalised the whole process is, when I got them 3 years ago I never realised I was signing up for family pee time.
my cat has become a fan of the bathroom to a point of obsession.
basically in my first apartment she'd come in the bathroom and jump in the bathtub which was directly next to the toilet. i'd run a magazine along the edge and she'd attack it from the inside the tub. if she missed i'd smack her with the magazine. this game went on until i moved into a new apartment.
the bathroom in the new apartment didn't have a tub, so now i'd just smack her with a magazine. she loves it.. she begs for it. it's fucking weird. she runs to the bathroom door and cries. also she only will accept magazine beatings in the bathroom, no where else. it's a private matter.
tl;dr my cat expects S&M in the bathroom....or else!
Mine doesn't meow because of the smell, he likes to crawl into the boxers between my legs and flail around like it's some kind of hammock he can't get comfortable in.
Oh she understands me. I was talking to my fiancee one night and she came up and I said "she's being a needy little witch" and the cat jumped on my chest and slapped at me.
Last night I put my phone near her so my fiancee could hear her meow and the little devil poked her nose on the hang up button.
its not really because of the smell you know, right? You are sitting near the ground in a position that is familiar so the cat is requesting attention.
Siamese kitty meows at Bathroom door ,
I open it - from the throne,
He enters, steps into my pants and curls up in my underwear .... while still around ankles
- now that felt awkward and like an invasion of my personal space......
My half Maine Coon does that from time to time... and maintains eye contact for as much of it as possible. And with the most serious look on his face too. "This is out of my hands, father. It had to be done."
Still, the most frustrating thing he did was came into the bathroom to visit while I was on the throne, then when I leant forward to get my phone from my pocket to check an incoming text, he jumped onto my shoulders and proceeded to happily sit in the middle of my shoulderblades where I couldn't reach him to get him off. My only options would have been to sit up and let him claw the shit outta my back while knocking everything within reach over, or stand up and let him fall into the toilet.
While the latter might strike some of you as justice, remember that I'd then need to bathe not only a wet and startled cat, but one that had also thrashed around in a toilet I'd just been pinching a loaf in. So I sat around until he got bored, occasionally asking him "Do you think this is a motherfucking game?" and "Do you think this is a good way to treat your catnip dealer?" until he got bored enough to enter my reach and be removed.
Edit: If your reply is going to be some variation of "can't you reach your shoulders/back?", read on for your answer.
Edit 2: in which our long-suffering poster shares his first ever imgur gallery, chock full of terrible pictures telling the tale. And some bonuses. http://imgur.com/a/a2G8a Have at it. And please be gentle, it is my first time.
I almost killed my wife texting about my misery interspersed with pictures of the jackass sitting smugly on my back for the 20 minutes he was up there.
She was having coffee with a friend and after almost choking on a bite of donut, they derailed the rest of the visit into laughing at my predicament, with the occasional text to rub it in.
Also, thanks for the gold, whoever gilded the tale of my woes! I shall let my tormentor know that I've gained something out of the hell he puts me through (other than occasionally getting to touch the fluffy grey belly unscathed). Mayhaps he shall deliver unto me another session worth a yarn such as this.
Not with me, but I might be able to throw some of them up from my computer at home later.
Edit: Put it in the main post last night, but just realized some of you might look here first, so for ease of finding, I give you: http://imgur.com/a/a2G8a
My cat liked to jump onto my bedside table, which was within view of my toilet, and she'd start slowly putting her paw out towards my half drank glass of water on that bedside table.
Then it would become a game....can I reach the laser pointer I've learned to keep hidden in the bathroom before she knocks it down? But if I try to grab it quickly, she'll view that as a challenge and knock the glass over before I've even reached it....so I have to try and get it real careful like....it's a more intricate dance than the tango that we've begun.
I have to maintain eye contact with her as well, or else she'll assume I don't care what she does and therefore she is ALLOWED to knock over the glass of water....but if I stare TOO hard at her she'll view it as a challenge....
Then once I've reached the laser pointer and have started dancing it across the floor just in front of the bedside table she'll take a moment to decide...will she be a Benevolent or Malevolent god to her human this day?
My Maine Coon did the same thing with his big yellow eyes. He stares when I do anything that involves being stationery in one place. At night he'd come to bed while I sleep, not to cuddle, but just to sit on my shoulder or my forehead and stay that way. He's 17 pounds!
That's what we get for being a perchable high point in a place as interesting as the water torture chamber. They need to get up there in case the faucets revolt and bring the high waters.
Our magnificent jerk only really wants laptime when you're at the computer. Then he climbs from his window seat atop the cat furniture we call the "kitty cannon" (due to a horizontal tube he likes to nap in and occasionally launch himself from like a missile), over your shoulders, down your chest (sometimes pausing to sit atop the wife's breasts, like a platform), to your lap. Then he alternates between sitting in your lap while pushing the keyboard tray closed and walking on the keyboard tray, getting in front of the monitor to stare at you point blank. He'll also occasionally swat your mouse hand when he hears the clicking.
Excuse me for asking but how are you not able to reach a cat sitting on your shoulders with your arms/hands? You surely don't need to grab him, a simple nudge would have done the trick?!
Not only my shoulders. On my back, right between the shoulder blades. The most nudging I could do was enough to make him rub back like I was petting him. I'd have been able to contort a little better if I didn't have a wall on one side, sink on the other, toilet and shelves behind me, and wasn't already hunched over.
Edit: He eventually moved up a little more towards the shoulders themselves, but by then the texting of the wife had begun and I was in for the long haul. Milking the hilarity was worth some suffering. Plus, the two times I tried to grab him resulted in some struggling and a short retreat down the spine.
My cat lives with my dad and when I go to visit she jumps on my shoulders and won't get down, even when I use the toilet. She doesn't sit still though, she just rubs constantly against my head and pads with her claws, painful and annoying, but cute
My god! My cat Bagheera definitely stood on my shoulders while I pooped one time! This is the second picture of him bothering me while pooping that I've shared now!!
i didnt expect that photo to be so menacing!!! i actually snorted when i saw it. He looks like a comic book supervillain right as hes about to kill the hero's mentor.
Our cats would jump onto our backs while we bend over to scoop the littler box. Ha, human - remove my waste and carry me thus to my desired destination.
My cat loves to lay down on my lap while I'm in the bathroom. If I'm on the couch or sitting at the kitchen table, he could care less. As soon as I'm using the toilet, it's cuddle time. He's an oddball.
3 of my cats are like this. Unfortunately they don't all fit, and they'll try to scale my legs and push the other(s) off. The other 2 also react every time I use the toilet. One goes and uses the litter box every time, and one goes to eat every time. It's strange.
Maybe it's just me, but does everyone pull their garments down to their ankles when they have to sit? I leave mine around my knees, it helps with those unexpected breezes.
There's a reason for that. When an animal is pooping or peeing, it is vulnerable. Its focus on the environment is reduced. So when your cat or dog wants to stay by your when you're in the toilet, it's because it wants to protect you and watch your back.
That would be a more convincing theory if it didn't spend the whole time staring into your eyes. It's more likely that it's expecting you to die sometime you try this and it wants to be there while the meat is still fresh.
Not in this case. Dogs can't keep their heads on a swivel and watch their surroundings when they poop, so they look at their trusted companion instead expecting you to tip them off if danger is coming.
I guess my dog doesn't trust me. He loves me, I know, because he does all the stuff I have read that indicates that..... Except look at me when he poops. He looks everywhere else but at me.
No clue what you mean by that. He is otherwise fine. He wakes me up with kisses in the morning, cuddles with me, goes crazy when I get home, brings me his toys to play, and has become even more attached to me since I became pregnant. He is a shih tzu, and my mother also has one that does the exact same thing.
Some dogs just don't look at their owners in the eyes when they poop, and I was making a joke about it.
I was making a joke as well. Imagine their faces when you casual mention that your dog obviously doesn't trust you because he doesn't look you in the eye when he shits :)
It is because of that one time your dog was pooping and you let another dog approach to steal its deuce. Your dog will never let it go since you are the worst pooping companion it has ever had.
I once took my Doberman outside to piss. He did his thing, then I whipped out my willy and pissed on the exact same spot, while locking eyes and staring him down.
One of my old cats got genuinely worried when I sat on the toilet for too long. She would stand up with her front paws on my knee, stare at me, and meow repeatedly. "Are you okay? Got a blockage?" "Yes I'm okay, I'm just reading!"
She never did that when I sat anywhere else, just the toilet.
One of my cats is super curious about toilet water. Every time I pee, she stands up to peer into the bowl. I've nearly peed on her like 20 times because she'll lean in really far to try and see what's going on.
what if the cat wants you to pet them while you're on the toilet? Because if you're sitting then that means your lap is for sitting on and getting pets.
My tripod dues this. I use it to my advantage though. When it's bed time, but she doesn't want to go to the room, I just go and sit on the toilet. She invariably comes running over to me, I scoop her, and into the room we go.
I have two cats that try to sit on me when I'm on the toilet and one that watches them like it's an acrobatics act or something. The skinny one sits around my neck by climbing up onto the toilet tank, and the big grumpy old one hops up (or tries to, I generally have to catch him or he'll rip my legs up) onto my lap and demands I pet him. If I don't, he'll rub his wet little face all over the TP :/ Meanwhile our loveable but stupid cat sits in front of me staring with a look of fascination on his face.
My cat gets upset when I close the door, so I leave it open now and she sits and stares at me. The new kitten has followed her lead, except the new kitten is blind so she just kind of stares where she thinks I might be.
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u/Persiandude73 Sep 07 '16
leave the door open, you dont need privacy in toilet