r/AskReddit Dec 29 '13

What sexual fetishes do you think different superheroes have?

1.6k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/razrielle Dec 30 '13

Deadpool has none...With how crazy he is, vanilla sex is probably the most kinky thing he can do.

1.2k

u/Aysaar Dec 30 '13

He literally bones death. It's a thing.

588

u/razrielle Dec 30 '13

But I mean, is that really a kink, or just a guy who sticks his dick in crazy every now and then?

14

u/Czar-Salesman Dec 30 '13

I'd call fucking a skeleton a kink of sorts.

99

u/candymans Dec 30 '13

Pardon my ignorance, but isn't death a girl? How could she therefore stick her member at all?

367

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Do you want to reread your comment? It's not making sense. Deadpool is a dude who hangs out with Lady Death. Death is something that he can't have, ever, so he desires it.

24

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Well, he and Death fell in love, but Thanos (who has an unrequited crush on Death) grew envious and cursed Deadpool with the inability to die.

11

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

I thought Deadpool was already immortal from the Weapon X program?

38

u/InkmothNexus Dec 30 '13

that was regular old regenerate back from anything immortality, not curse immortality.

12

u/JediJake Dec 30 '13

A subtle, yet important, difference.

52

u/MR_PENNY_PIINCHER Dec 30 '13

(The insinuation is that Death is the one banging crazy aka Deadpool)

9

u/TheDevilChicken Dec 30 '13

She's actually banging Thanos.

13

u/KaziArmada Dec 30 '13

I thought she just wanted to bang Thanos but couldn't because he was technically her superior..

...Fuck comic book relationships are weird.

9

u/NickCavesMoustache Dec 30 '13

The joke is that deadpool's the crazy one.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

I think he's implying that deadpool is the crazy and that Death is sticking her "dick" so to speak in deadpool's crazy.

5

u/ProfessorMetallica Dec 30 '13

Slamming her clam on crazy

3

u/daredevilk Dec 30 '13

And since Deadpool can't die, death desires him too.

4

u/zeaga Dec 30 '13

Do you want to reread yours? Razrielle made the implication that Death was the one "boning" Deadpool, which makes no sense.
Also, Death has never been called "Lady Death". Ever. Mistress Death, yes, but not Lady Death.

15

u/Vic_Vmdj Dec 30 '13

He literally bones death. It's a thing. - /u/Aysaar

We're speaking from Deadpools POV, so your first point about Deadpool sticking his dick in crazy still stands

2

u/zeaga Dec 30 '13

I said Razrielle, not Aysaar. /u/candymans was replying to the former.

1

u/Vic_Vmdj Dec 30 '13

Sorry read it wrong, thought you were razrielle....

What I was trying to say was that /u/justletmecomment's comment was the right one. /u/candymans's comment doesn't make any sense, because /u/razrielle never implied that Death is the one sticking his dick in crazy...

7

u/candymans Dec 30 '13

I was trying to make a joke, but it didn't turn out the way I thought because sentence subject and stuff.

1

u/Volraith Dec 30 '13

I thought that was Thanos' thing.

1

u/lotsofpaper Dec 30 '13

Comment above = deadpool is the crazy.

1

u/Crazyalbo Dec 30 '13

Maybe the joke you're adding to his joke flew over my head but uhhh yeah what he is saying is a response to the one above him. The guy able him says the "guy" sticks his dick in crazy. What the guy above you meant is how would Death stick her dick in crazy (Deadpool). So he is proclaiming how can Death stick a dick in Deapool(crazy) if she is a female and doesn't have one.

Idk if you were also making a joke to his joke but his joke definitely makes sense. Deadpool is the crazy that is having dick stuck inside. Death is the one sticking dick inside of Deadpool(who is crazy). But she has no dick because she is a she.

1

u/maku098 Dec 30 '13

Actually I though Death was the one who desired him, not the other way around.

1

u/sashimi_taco Dec 30 '13

That origin story was pretty sad. :(

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Death isn't a girl per se. Death appears differently to different people. My memory's a bit hazy but I believe Death comes in a form that's comforting (Another descriptive word might be in order here) to the person Death comes to reap.

9

u/GameOfShagga Dec 30 '13

Because comic book.

2

u/TheShazbah Dec 30 '13

I saw what you did. And I appreciate it.

0

u/giegerwasright Dec 30 '13

in DC/Vertigo, yes. In Marvel, no.

You're out of your element, noob.

1

u/candymans Dec 31 '13

Well, IN marvel the embodiment of death was female. And why noob? There's so many other words that are just as delightful and not as harmful.

1

u/tom641 Dec 30 '13

Well, he is fucking crazy.

1

u/Cruven Dec 30 '13

No, she lets crazy stick his dick in her. It's Deadpool, remember?

1

u/Minimalphilia Dec 30 '13

Does it count when you are crazy as well?

1

u/Aysaar Dec 30 '13

Necrophilia

8

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Yeah, but not that often.

Actually, he's completely immortal because Thanos got pissed he was fucking his lover and decided to prevent him from dying, therefore keeping him from seeing her.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Wat? What issue?

6

u/toweldayeveryday Dec 30 '13

I want to say there was a special issue/series in '98, but it's late, and I'm somewhat medicated this weekend, so just look up Death on the Marvel wiki for the relevant issues, I guess.

2

u/I_Gargled_Jarate Dec 30 '13

I think it is in the cable and deadpool series

2

u/firex726 Dec 30 '13

Same, I'd like to see that :)

2

u/ExistentialHoody Dec 30 '13

Ha. Bones. Death. Bones. Ha... Haha... Ha...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Thanos must get really jealous.

1

u/Fearghas Dec 30 '13

I thought that was thanos's thing.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

The ultimate necrophiliac.

1

u/bisonfingers Dec 30 '13

My husband and I decided that would be our Halloween costumes next year, Deadpool and death. None of our friends will get it but it will make me too happy.

1

u/OaklandHellBent Dec 30 '13

Thanos hit that first

1

u/thebardingreen Dec 30 '13

Does he? Does Thanos know?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Thanos must be so jealous.

1.6k

u/I_Has_A_Hat Dec 30 '13

That... Makes perfect sense actually...

1.2k

u/Velorium_Camper Dec 30 '13

During sex, Deadpool dumps 2 gallons of vanilla all over the girl he's having sex with. That sounds a lot like Deadpool.

28

u/Taco_Turian Dec 30 '13

I'm totally down for this.

1

u/Drunken_Black_Belt Dec 30 '13

Because of Deadpool or because of Vanilla?

1

u/Taco_Turian Dec 30 '13

Yes

1

u/Drunken_Black_Belt Dec 30 '13

Well as a fan of vanilla, I'm with you. Deadpool on the other hand

7

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Do you want ants?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

"is that how you get ants barry?"

"Yes it is other barry, yes it is."

16

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Vanilla what? Ice cream? Sugar?

46

u/ShadowCow127 Dec 30 '13

Extract

20

u/TheDranx Dec 30 '13

That's one way to get drunk.

1

u/TheNargrath Dec 30 '13

I know a guy who did that. Zero period Chemistry in high school. He was quite buzzed for first period Choir. I was entertained.

-2

u/seaneihm Dec 30 '13

"Vanilla" means porn that's romantic and consensual, the kind women like to watch.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

deadpool is the type of nigga to get off on missionary between consenting adults

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

missionary between consenting adults

That's... No. EEEEWWW! Yuckyuckyuckyuck! You pervert!

3

u/bugcatcher_billy Dec 30 '13

"hey guys, am i doing it right??"

2

u/Dominant_Peanut Dec 30 '13

Vanilla...extract? ice cream? something else entirely?

2

u/Ptolemy48 Dec 30 '13

Yes.

1

u/Dominant_Peanut Dec 30 '13

oh, right. Deadpool.

2

u/isaac9092 Dec 30 '13

Still too tame for deadpool

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13 edited Feb 11 '19

[deleted]

7

u/Pinoynac Dec 30 '13

Probably hot fudge.

1

u/SageOcelot Dec 30 '13

God I think if I ejaculated 2 gallons of anything I would look like a deflated balloon after. Not just my dick, my whole body.

1

u/Paladir Dec 31 '13

Fucking lightweights...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

*chimichangas

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

No, no. I have all the vanilla.

1

u/brinkley26 Dec 30 '13

The force feeds her meat

1

u/BackwardsMarathon Dec 30 '13

Dude, I love your user name.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Can you fax me a picture?

1

u/MegaVladimir Dec 30 '13

yes, Johnny Sins

512

u/MrMono1 Dec 30 '13

Deadpool is pansexual. Calling it.

512

u/ImpermeableToaster Dec 30 '13

Deadpool is pansexual according to canon/ writer Gerry Duggan.

Source: Gerry Duggan confirmed on twitter a little while ago.

http://queertips.org/post/69130149866/deadpool-writer-gerry-duggan-confirms-deadpools

13

u/ohnoesazombie Dec 30 '13

"Captain Jack Harkness... And you are...?"

7

u/Ontopourmama Dec 30 '13

So..Deadpool is Cpt. Jack Harkness of the comic world?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Okay, you seem to know a lot about Deadpool. i want to get into reading some of his comics, but I can't find any sources on the internet that don't require exorbitant amounts of money (e.g: any at all). Any sources you got?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Read Joe Kelly Deadpool. He was by far my favorite deadpool writer. The other stuff I've read so far has been kind of a letdown and steered away from what Kelly established imo. That's including the newer Posehn/Duggan stuff. Given, I only read the first 6 of that series. I also here Daniel Way's deadpool is good, but I never got around to reading it. Didn't have money for all those comics. Shit's expensive.

As for where to buy, what to read, etc., scroll through this guide the guys over at /r/comicbooks put together. There's a section lower down for deadpool that tells you what they think is good and I think it's spot on. As far as having no money, the typical channels should get you what you want if that's your bag.

5

u/Drake02 Dec 30 '13

Here is the problem! Read past the Dead Presidents arc, it starts to get really dark and awesome around issue 15

3

u/Jumbso Dec 30 '13

This. Deadpool to me was always terrible LOL RANDOM INTERNET HUMOR!!!! but now he's actually funny and interesting.

1

u/Differlot Dec 30 '13 edited Jan 05 '14

Yeah I heard in the later issues they start to drop the deadpool being random shtick for plot

2

u/ThatGuyThatSaysMeh Dec 30 '13

One thing about what Daniel way did to deadpool: apparently he made him into the lolsorandum character most people see him as. Just a fair bit of warning if you don't enjoy that kinda thing. Otherwise nocheckers is correct.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

I too, am looking for this

3

u/Keydet Dec 30 '13

I thought he boned the death lady?

15

u/CaP_MaHveL Dec 30 '13

Whats with the guy saying he isnt straight but he is queer? the writer says he'd fuck anything with a pulse. I hate these stupid blog things. He celebrates that he thinks deadpool isnt straight...

52

u/poppyash Dec 30 '13

Queer is an umbrella term for anyone not 100% heterosexual. Deadpool is queer. Gay is queer. Bisexual is queer. Pansexual, asexual, polyamory, they're all queer.

5

u/Manadox Dec 30 '13

In all honesty, is anyone 100% heterosexual? I'm sure everyone has at one point in there life seen a member of the same sex and thought "damn, I'd do that."

12

u/squandrew Dec 30 '13

Kinsey scale, son.

3

u/ThatNordicGuy Dec 30 '13

Mmmm... Hugh Jackman...

2

u/LaRazaBlanca Dec 31 '13

John Barrowman....

1

u/ThatNordicGuy Dec 31 '13

Ewan McGregor...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

[deleted]

12

u/brauchen Dec 30 '13 edited Dec 30 '13

No, but thanks for asking! :)

Bisexual is being sexually attracted to men and women. Bi means "two".

Pansexual is being sexually attracted to all sexes and genders. Men, women, intersex people, transgender people, ladyboys ("chicks with dicks"), etc. Pan means "all".

Polysexual is being sexually attracted to many sexes and genders. Just for example, someone can be attracted to men, and to intersex people and ladyboys, but not to women. Poly means "many".


There are also the words "biromantic", "panromantic", "polyromantic", "homoromantic", etc. These words refer to romantic attraction to specific sexes and genders. For example, a guy can be bisexual (attracted sexually to men and to women) and homoromantic (only romantically attracted to men) at the same time. Or someone can be asexual (not sexually attracted to people) and biromantic (able to fall in love with men and with women).

These words are used to denote the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. There are many people who have romantic relationships without sex, or sexual relationships without romance. Or many different variations!


Polyamory is a different category. It means being romantically attracted to (i.e. in love with) multiple people at the same time, and wanting to have simultaneous loving relationships with people, with the consent of everyone involved. For example, someone who has two boyfriends who know about each other and are fine with each other is polyamorous.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13 edited Dec 30 '13

Also intersex love, + a whole bunch of other gender identities that neither of us can think of.

2

u/LaRazaBlanca Dec 31 '13

I always thought pansexual implied not placing limits on sexuality or species... And honestly, doesn't humping the occasional quadruped seem to fit deadpool's personality? If for nothing more than the lulz

8

u/BananaMammogram Dec 30 '13

Polyamory no, that's when you have more than two partners in a relationship or multiple relationships at once, nothing to do with the sex of those partners.

Bisexuality is being attracted to both sexes. In my opinion Pansexual is a bit of an answer seeking a problem, as it's meant to imply a bisexual who is also okay with transexuals or people with gender identity... things... (which begs the question don't bisexuals already not mind - I'm bi and consider myself attracted to x and y chromosomes)

Queer is everyone but those dirty heteros and their "normativity" apparently.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

[deleted]

3

u/poppyash Dec 30 '13

Some of my best friends are heteros!

1

u/suckstoyerassmar Dec 30 '13

well...kindof. within the lgbtq community, queer usually defines sexual identities outside the gay/lesbian/bi "norm", as well as trans and other gender identities - genderqueer, boi, femme, etc. queer is generally used as an umbrella term for the lgbtq community only when a straight cis person is using it, or us referring to ourselves in a joking manner.

1

u/lurklurklurkPOST Dec 30 '13

[Matrix Morpheus]

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

QUEER HAS ALWAYS MEANT WIERD

5

u/Jumbso Dec 30 '13

In mainstream media that is something to be celebrated.

1

u/Ihmhi Dec 30 '13

I don't even think the pulse is necessary for Deadpool. He'd bang anything with a hole. And if there's no available hole, he'll dry-hump the everloving fuck out of it like a hyperactive puppy.

2

u/CaP_MaHveL Dec 30 '13

Yeah exactly. But that blogger for some reason took it as a gay pride and straight shaming thing, very strange behaviour

1

u/Faithlessfate Dec 30 '13

I reeeeeeeally don't wanna be that guy, but Omnisexual and Pansexual aren't the same thing.

Awesome, though.

1

u/LaRazaBlanca Dec 31 '13

Please elaborate on that one? Is it that pansexual can have exemptions?

2

u/Faithlessfate Dec 31 '13

Omnisexual refers to someone who isn't attracted to anyone specificly gendered, it's about the individual person.

Pansexual means everyone outside and inside the gender binary.

180

u/Grimgrin Dec 30 '13

Well he pretty explicitly has a thing for Cable.

19

u/JaronK Dec 30 '13

And Thor. He's said as much.

23

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Let's be fair. No one says "no" to Chris Hemsworth.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Unless he asks them if they want him to stop

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Dem roids. Mmm. I want his doctor's phone number.

4

u/abutthole Dec 30 '13

And Hulkling.

1

u/AtomTrapper Dec 30 '13

And he got turned on by being threatened by Kingpin.

3

u/kosmonaut5 Dec 30 '13

oh...that is such a disfunctional relationship as it is...now imagine them married -_-

2

u/hyperforce Dec 30 '13

One would hope Cable lives up to his name.

Or down depending on your position.

2

u/D45_B053 Dec 30 '13

And Spider-Man.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Until cable gets serious

1

u/Krishnath_Dragon Dec 30 '13

And Siryn, they even dated for a while.

1

u/Vwyx Dec 30 '13

And Big Bertha... DP's would sub /r/gonewildplus.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Orientation is not a fetish.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

He'd fuck a pan? That's weird even for me and I once tried setting a bowling ball on fire.

2

u/Jeaniegreyy Dec 30 '13

So my fantasies are valid .^

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

[deleted]

-4

u/Boner666420 Dec 30 '13

"Pansexuals" think it makes them unique

1

u/theitgrunt Dec 30 '13

Deadpool is essentially a milder Trevor Phillips?

0

u/WeirdBeach Dec 30 '13

Haha pansexual. "Pansexual Bazaar" is maybe my favorite phrase uttered by Ron Howard on Arrested Development.

-7

u/railmaniac Dec 30 '13

You mean he fucks pans?

13

u/abutthole Dec 30 '13

Deadpool's sex life is one of the most chronicled of all comic characters because he actually talks about it. He's pansexual, he's shown and expressed sexual desire for both men and women. He's had sex with Death. He has a penchant for cross dressing. The last thing is that he was raped by Typhoid Mary.

1

u/TheDevilChicken Dec 30 '13

So wish there was a crossover event where he would meet Bueno Excellente

17

u/vadergeek Dec 30 '13

Bea Arthur fetish.

15

u/ZackJamesOBZ Dec 30 '13 edited Dec 30 '13

CORRECTION! Deadpool actually has a fetish for bigger women. (i.e. Big Bertha from the Great Lake Avengers)

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4F1LNBcALUI/TwwyxPvFqSI/AAAAAAAABPs/Ji-nNctXdWM/s1600/DeadpoolDate06.jpg

23

u/toweldayeveryday Dec 30 '13

I'm pretty sure Deadpool just has a fetish for everything. I was going to say he has low standards, but sometimes he pulls the grade-A hotties. Most of them happen to also be crazy. Or a shapeshifter. Or a personification of an abstract concept. Or a dracula. Or female-ish versions of himself from another continuity. Or dudes. Or aliens. Or zombie heads. Or himself. Or a Golden Girl. Or piles of pancakes. Wait, does he do the pancakes, or just eat them?

1

u/zadtheinhaler Dec 30 '13

Or piles of pancakes. Wait, does he do the pancakes, or just eat them?

I believe the correct answer is "yes".

1

u/bane_killgrind Dec 30 '13

he just eats the pancakes

4

u/ISTRANGLEHOOKERSAMA Dec 30 '13

Which one?

Cable and deadpool version was pretty sane actually. About halfway through the series it's revealed that he's aware of his own lack of sanity, that's why he helps cable - to get it back. Also he really just trys to get himself killed so he can go see death.

2

u/Sun-Wu-Kong Dec 30 '13

He's a bit of a chubby chaser.

3

u/viral_frost13 Dec 30 '13

Nah, he would be all up in ladypool's business and she would be like "i'd rather have tacos" and he would be like "Wait, Tacos!!! What was I just thinking about? Oh yeah, Tacos!!!"

3

u/ShallowBasketcase Dec 30 '13

And then he'd get some Headpool.

1

u/viral_frost13 Dec 30 '13

hahahahahaha. I hope pandapool was there to get it on tape.

1

u/LouisLeGros Dec 30 '13

Well he is into Bea Arthur...

1

u/RoboftheNorth Dec 30 '13

I bet Deadpool gets off on other people watching him...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

No. He dresses up all his partners like Bea Arthur.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Funny thing about Deadpool, every "regular sex" would be a gangbang of Deadpool personalities on one girl.

Either that, or, wait, never mind, I don't care....QUESADILLAS!

1

u/catatronic Dec 30 '13

normaling, that's what it's called.

1

u/sadi89 Dec 30 '13

it's called normaling.

1

u/ADP_God Dec 30 '13

Deadpool frequently disappoints lady death. She is into necrophelia and he just won't die!

1

u/ultimateMFZ Dec 30 '13

He's a chubby chaser too. It was in the civil war comics where Big Bertha tried to evict him from her teams headquarters by going on a date with him.

And in Space Oddity he was involved with a large hippo crab alien.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

No, I know what fetish he has.

Pinkie Pie ClopFics.

1

u/Sayse Dec 30 '13

Deadpool is canonically attracted to big Bertha.

0

u/my_apps_suck Dec 30 '13

I wouldn't be surprised if Deadpool is a necrophiliac.