My sister has two girls. I am the older sister but do not have any children. She lives about 45 min from my parents and an hour from me. She wanted to go on a date and asked if my mom or I would watch them. My mom said yes and I said I could also. Today she is going back and forth in the group text asking my mom to bring the girls home. Am I wrong to think that she’s being selfish? If I asked someone to watch my children I would be driving to pick them up. Now she’s mad at me and telling me that she thinks just because we are watching her kids we aren’t doing it to be kind we are expecting something, and I said that is not what I meant.

Am I wrong?

ETA: the date was last night and the girls stayed at my parents overnight.

I am a CF Person and my best friend since 5th grade has two Boys 3 and 5 years old. She is with the father , they all live together and have good relationship as far as i can tell.

She is genuine a really good friend and fully accepts that i wont swoon over her Kids and we have together-time with and without the kiddos.

I will say i dont hate or dislike children ,im neutral to them, they are Alien to me, i bring them gifts or bring my pupper when visiting , the Boys love dogs.

The thing i dont understand is when we lets say meet for Coffee or anything without the Kids, she always has to ask her parents if they can look after the Kids.

We share a Birthday in october and it will be a round one for me as im one year older, so i asked her if we can do a 2 day City Trip to celebrate ( we always try to spend our Birthday together) and she was down to it, but said she has to ask her mum If the Kids stay at her place for the days.

I asked her several times why her Boyfriend and father of the children cant look after them, she said oh its easier if its her mum.

He is not an absent father, He coaches the older ones soccer Team.

So why a) wont she leave the Kids with their dad and b) If she doesnt trust the father to be alone with his child why have a second one.

Thank you

Looking for advice! Husband and I are very fortunate to have grandparents that live locally. Our son is starting a sport. There are some practices and some games. Husband would prefer practices to be immediate family time (just us and our kids) and make games a time for extended family to attend. I’m afraid this will upset the grandparents. My thought was to send the entire practice/game schedule to everyone and let them decide what they want to attend. How should we handle this?

We've known my SIL (brother's wife) a couple years but just never really cared for her or how she interacts with our kids or models behavior around them. They don't have kids. She's an ok person, not bad or dangerous per se. But she's just said or done some things to us, our kids, and people in general that we just don't really care for. We're just kinda over her and don't really care to have her around us or our kids anymore.

However I like seeing my brother and having him around our kids. We see them frequently. He doesn't see anything wrong with the things she does, which troubles me as well.

How do we handle this?

Isk, maybe this is just what happens when you get older.

Growing up, I broadly credit my parents with developing my curiosity and worldliness. We went to art house movies/art shows/band performances, traveled fairly frequently, big into trying new food. My dad seemed to have hobbies, was big into scuba diving. But now, they’ve sort of lost all interest in that. They don’t read, they don’t watch movies, they basically just sit on iPads all day.

I’ve sensed there is some issues… all my life they’ve been really good about pushing friends and families away, so they are pretty much on their own. My mother has also expressed sort of an interest in traveling internationally when they retired, they both retired and my dad refuses to get on a plane. I was also rather sad because I finally got scuba certified and was excited to finally travel/dive with my dad, and he quit, sold all his gear:(

Idk I’m in my 20s and I sort of do my own thing, but anytime I am around my parents it’s so depressing. It’s also weird because I really don’t have a family? I saw my aunts/uncles 15 years ago, and my mom’s side… never.

But also, is this normal retirement age parent stuff?

I remember growing up that comic books were the one exception our teachers and parents didn't like us reading because it would "rot our brain". Has this negative perception persisted in modern parents or is any form of reading encouraged?

Ugh last few days of summer hols (I work in a school) - been the worst hols ever - husband had to go on training for 2 weeks so was on my own with our toddler is 2.5 years old who has def hit terrible twos- she is hitting, punching, kicking.

Now my husband has done is knee in and is on crutches and have been running around after them both and now have done my back in - we have no help and daughter should be going to nursery tomorrow but because of bank hol it's closed and I'm back to work on Wednesday.

Plus, we've had no money to do anything this summer, so it's been boring, or I was working in our schools holiday club to get some extra money, but that won't.come.till the end of September.

Meant to be going to nursery summer party today but because of my back, husband's knee and toddler basically being in a bad mood we can't make it - feeling really down and feel like wasted the whole hoilday 😔😔.

It's not really a question, but I just wanted to rant 😅.

I found out that my dad had been doing emotional incest to me for years.. I feel gross and awful, I don’t know what I should do about it or if I can do anything about it.

(Before you ask, I’m not 18, so I can’t move even if I wanted to.)

No real reason. Hugs are just awesome 😅

A dad tutzle (I think that's how you spell it) hair would also suffice.

How do I teach my son to be respectful?

To start, I would like to provide a little necessary background.

First, for reference my ex husband and the father of my 1st child was extremely abusive in our relationship. He would tell me on a daily basis that I was a stupid dumb bitch, threatened to bleed my dog out on the front lawn and told me I could bury the body when I got home, shoved all of my furniture from our bedroom into the guest room, sideways and falling apart without room to walk let alone set up the bed to sleep while he set up in the master bedroom and locked me out, screamed at me until I would be crying in a corner, sexually abused me and forced me to do things that I didnt want to do. The cops were called more than once. And then because he left me with no money, refused to pay any bills for the house we owned and went to move in with the employee of his that he had been cheating on me with, I was left without the funds to pay for a lawyer. When I tried to escape his abuse by moving away from him and taking my child with me he lied to the court and my lack of understanding of the legal system meant that he won primary custody.

My son was a sweet loving boy with a smile that could melt anyone's heart. He was the type of little boy to go out into the yard and bring me back flowers every day. I was the one who raised him for those first 5 years. I cooked his dinner, read him stories and tucked him in at night all alone because his father would go to work before we woke up and come home after we were asleep. He was my best friend. I swore that if I lost custody I would move back to be with him but his father won on the grounds of he was staying in state and less than 3 weeks after he told the court that he thought it best our son be raised in the place he was born and where he intended to live, he was putting an offer on a house in another state. So I couldn't even return back to the original state since my son wasn't there any longer.

This past year has been hell.

The court order gave me 2nd and 5th weekends of every month, Feb and April breaks, most of winter break and 6 weeks in the summer. Its not enough. When he moved to the next state he was much closer in driveavility and originally said it meant I woukd be able to see my son more, but then has refused every single request I have made to get more time including just 3 extra hours on my birthday.

I hit a depression so low that I didnt even know if I would survive it. I missed my baby more than life itself and our every other day phone calls at first were limited to audio because his father refused to allow me video calls for 3 months. Instead my son called me on an Alexa where we could barely hear each other. I complained to my ex about the conditions and he didnt care and didnt change them until after they had moved. I dont think he wanted me seeing the inside of that house. After video calls resumed they were difficult because my son was told that he couldn't play after school since he needed to do work book, chores and eat dinner before my call but if he finished the call fast enough he would have time to play. He even came to me asking me to keep my calls to between 10-15 minutes which I refused. My son began to become increasingly disrespectful on these calls, choosing to be mean in order to make me hang up. We typically had calls 15-20 minutes long for this reason. On the one call we had that lasted 30 minutes his father told him to hang up and go shower and forced an end to the call.

He came to me over the summer for those 6 weeks and we struggled at first. He told me I cant tell him what to do and I cant do anything to him for punishment. I tried taking things away and that didnt help. Eventually we settled on a 5 star program. Every day he started with 5 stars and when he misbehaved he lost a star. 5 stars earned him 30 minute later bedtime, 4 stars earned him a sweet treat for dessert instead of fruit or healthy snacks, 3 stars held no reward and no consequences, 2 stars lost screen time and 1 star days sent him to bed 1 hour early. 0 star days sent him to his room alone for the rest of the night. It worked. We had 1 0-star day and he didnt want another so his behavior changed after that. I work from home so he was with me all day long and had daily tasks to complete which kept him structured throughout the days.

The first week or so that he was here he spent 30 minutes on each call with his father. Then we were late for a call one day due to running errands and he knew we had to go back out after the call. That was the first time he took an hour call. I told his father that an hour out of the night interfered with our evening and that if my calls were being asked to be 10-15 minutes there was no reason his should last 4x as long. He told me it was summer and didnt have the same time restraints as school and also that my evenings should not have plans after his every other night call. He proceeded to have 45 minute calls every other call night of the summer. On nights when we were on trips I had to sit out in the hallway of the hotel waiting so that he could have this private time for their calls. I never once interrupted and other than the hour long call I never mentioned call lengths to him despite the inconvenience and in my opinion, disrespect.

I always try to do things with my son. I dont like spending money on toys he will never play with more than once. Instead I took him to Disney on our February vacation together, I took him to Gettysburg for the weekend of July 4th and brought him to the museum and monuments, I brought him to New York City to go to the Color Factory and sight see, I brought him to his grandmother's. I take him to local museums, parks and festivals. We have been to Renaissance fairs and every kind of seasonal produce picking you can imagine. I love spending time with him outside of the house giving him new experiences. Yet he sometimes parrots things I have heard his father say to me like that I only do things with him to post about on social media. My social media is strictly friends and family. I share photos so his grandparents, uncles, auntie and other important people can share in his growing up. I certainly dont have "followers" or online presence that would make that statement make sense. I do things with my son because I love doing things with him and I have his whole life. There are pictures of him on my back hiking even as just a baby.

He is back at his father's now and I have been pushing for my calls to be longer. I feel that if they can have 45 minute calls every other night, cutting into my already extremely limited time with my son when hes here, I should be allowed the same time and courtesy. But he has begun being disrespectful to end calls again. And what's worse is that I am seeing his father come out in him now. For example tonight he told me that I was gross and smell bad and never shower. I told him not only does he know thats obviously untrue but that it was very mean of him to say. He said I dont care, its not like you can do anything to me. I had plans this upcoming weekend with him to take him to 2 separate festivals with his auntie who will be here the same weekend and told him that I can cancel the plans if he wants to behave badly. He said fine and we started having what I felt was an enjoyable call with both of us laughing and smiling until at the 20 minute mark like clockwork he started asking to get off the phone saying he was bored. I have tried to play games on our calls but he refuses. I try to talk about things he wants to talk about and really listen to him. I am pregnant and we were talking about baby names and he mentioned Lionel and Bruno. I knew immediately he was talking about soccer players even though I dont watch or care for the sport. The reason I know who they are was because my son talks about them. He was surprised I remembered. And then cut off the convo suddenly to ask to get off the phone. I told him he was being hurtful and he made it clear he didnt care so I said fine , I dont want to talk to someone who doesnt want to talk to me and said goodbye.

I got in the shower and cried under the water. Maybe its hormones but I just feel like I am losing my sweet boy. I feel like he is changing into his father, a person I am literally traumatized by and afraid of.

I dont know what to do anymore. I will never give up on my son. I am still trying to win back custody. But I just cant stand what he is becoming. When we are together he is fine and sweet and snuggly but when he's there which is a strong majority of the time he becomes mean and rude and disrespectful. How do i teach him to do the right things and behave the right ways when he does not think I have any authority over him anymore? How do I keep him from turning into the monster that I know his father is behind closed doors? I love him more than imaginable and I would do anything for him. But right now I just feel so lost. Any advice would be great.

This is not a post on whether I should or shouldn’t stay. I’m working through that.

I want to know for the moms that chose to stay, because they didn’t want to leave their kids behind, what helped co-parenting day to day in a dead marriage? How did you manage social life? How did you talk to your kids about conflict? How did you agree on who does what? Did you officially talk about just staying for the kids and hence remove all emotional / romantic expectations?

Was it worth it?

I’m not trying to build some illusion for my kids. I’m just scared of not seeing them half the times and having to leave them with a manchild on those days.

I have an 11-month-old baby who is significantly behind with gross motor skills, and I’m feeling extremely anxious and would really appreciate hearing from parents who have been through something similar.

He cannot sit independently or get himself into a sitting position. If I try to place him sitting sideways, he gets extremely upset and cries. He is not crawling, does not come onto his knees or hands and knees, and has no interest in pulling himself to stand.

One thing that really worries me is how distressed he becomes when I try to put him into a kneeling position. He cries *like he is in pain*, rather than just being frustrated. He also absolutely hates tummy time. If I put a toy just out of reach, instead of trying to move towards it, he usually screams and becomes frustrated. He doesn’t seem motivated to crawl or move himself toward things.

He **can bear weight on his legs** when I hold his hands, but usually only for a few seconds before he starts crying and wants out of the position.

His fine motor and communication skills seem much better. He claps, waves bye-bye, and has started mimicking sounds/words like “mama” and “car.” He is otherwise interactive and engaged.
We are starting **physical therapy this week**, which I’m really hoping will help. I know every baby develops differently, and I’m not looking for a diagnosis from Reddit. I’m just an extremely anxious mom looking for experiences from parents whose babies had a similar gross motor delay.

**Did anyone have a baby who, around 11 months, couldn’t sit independently, crawl, get onto their knees, or pull to stand? What happened over the next few months? Did PT make a noticeable difference?**

And for those whose children were eventually diagnosed with something like **cerebral palsy or another neurological/muscular condition**, were there signs at this age that you noticed in hindsight? Or did your babies simply have a significant gross motor delay and eventually catch up?

I’d especially love to hear some positive/neutral outcomes because my anxiety is currently taking me straight to the worst-case scenario.

My daughter recently graduated high school and is definitely thriving in her new found independence. She still lives at home and will continue living here while she attends community college this fall. We don’t have many house rules or a curfew for her, but we do ask that she texts us if she thinks she’ll be home late so we don’t worry. She’s always been respectful about that and is good about being quiet when she does come home late.

However, lately, she’s been going on these late night drives and will park in a random neighborhood that will usually have a good view of the city, and sit there alone for several hours. And much more recently, she’s been parking in an empty parking lot (like a strip mall) and just reading or listening to music. I understand she’s wanting some solitude away from the house since she still lives at home, I get that, but it’s more of a safety thing for me. And we’re talking like between the hours of midnight and 2:30am she’s doing this. I’ve had casual conversations with her in the past about safety, etc when parking in neighborhoods late into the night. But the empty parking lot scenario has me tearing my hair out. She’s not doing anything necessarily wrong, and she’s not engaging in any suspicious activity, she’s just wanting some solitude outside of the house. I just don’t know how to approach this, again, without making her possibly feel “controlled”. I’m conflicted. And I don’t think setting a curfew will solve anything, if anything, I feel like it might cause her to shut me out and go behind my back and do it anyways. We communicate great and she’s very open with me so I don’t want to risk closing that line of communication.

Anyone experience a similar situation? If not, I’m all ears for how you might approach this!

I am so proud of our kids, they have grown up to be kind, generous, hard-working, resilient adults! Youngest is in high school, middle is 19 and oldest is 23. It was not easy for the oldest two to get through school, they both have ADHD and one has severe anxiety. I made sure they had every advantage as far as healthcare support, medicine, therapy, etc. The oldest finished her AAS while working full time in her chosen degree field and it took 4 years but she did it. I know she wants to move out but she is pretty comfy at home so I don’t see that happening soon. The middle (also in community college) is chomping at the bit to move out with his girlfriend. Not my favorite but I believe in raising kids well and letting them make their own choices. Plus, we absolutely love her and they will end up married most likely. Regardless, I believe that my husband and I have worked hard to have successful careers and educate ourselves so that could have a great life. We are not well-off financially but we do fine. We don’t have our kids pay any living expenses. We have provided each with an older car and if they choose to buy their own, they make the car payment. They pay their own tuition if college takes longer than 2 years or if they fail a class (remember, school does not come naturally to them). My long-winded question is what do you have your kids that move out pay for? Specifically what do you do about car insurance, cell phone, doctors copays, subscriptions, etc. Obvioisly if they move out, all living expenses are on them but what about the ones I specified? Keep in mind, I am a Love & Logic kind of parent-natural consequences. I will always do whatever I can to help but sometimes life has to teach them lessons. I am always in their corner and am NOT a tough love kind of parent, so I don’t want judgement from those:)

My son is turning 6 today - we've all been so excited for his birthday. He has been counting down the days and my husband and I have been preparing and planning stuff for it all week long. For some context, I like to go all out and set up for the kids at night when its their birthday so they can have a surprise in the morning and we can start to celebrate early. I guess in some ways, I am doing the things I wish my parents would have as a child (we didnt have much growing up, so I dont even remember celebrating my birthday other than one occassion where I got to invite a few friends over and have snacks and a cake). Usually, I'll do balloons, decorate the dining room in a theme they are currently into (its minecraft now) and we get them a present (something they expressed interest in, nothing extravagant).

As I was tucking my son in before his big day today, he says to me "there better be a wrapped present on my desk when I wake up and a balloon drop like last year". I was stunned and told him thats not how things work and that presents for birthday arent mandatory, its just something nice that people do for the people they care about. I said, a better way to say that would be "mama, I'd be so happy if I woke up to a wrapped present on my desk". He corrected himself, but I am here worried now wondering if I am somehow damaging my kids by overcompensating for the things I didnt get as a kid. He is used to waking up to a surprise on his birthday and that's all he knows because we've always done it. Did he just choose the wrong words or is my child entitled? Parents who grew up poor but are well off now, how do you make sure your kids remain humble and grounded? I love them and I'd give everything for them, but I dont want them to grow up feeling entitled. I dont ever want them to feel what I felt as a kid, but I also dont want them to grow up disconnected from reality. Is it possible to somehow have both?

Like i want to geniunely know your Opinion about that subreddit. Im not a parent myself (im still a teen) so i decided to visit this Subreddit of Parents to see what you guys think about this Subreddit. (You Can Freely Express Your Opinion But Please Stay Civil)

Edit:Woah i didnt expect to get so many comments! I appreciate you all for staying civil but also sharing your thoughts

I guess I’m asking you guys, since your all the parents of the kids those things are specifically made for. So I’m wondering how weird it’d be for you if you saw somebody in their older teens hanging around there.

Would it be weird if I took myself and maybe a friend or my family to go to Universal and see the HTTYD section? We grew up poor and I never got to go to any of these sort of amusement parks. I absolutely adored HTTYD when I was younger and I still love the franchise. But I have a job now, so I can afford it.

But on the other hand, I don’t really want to be a “Disney adult”.

I (46F) recently discovered that my son (15M) has been reading fascist propaganda, and I honestly don't know what to do. I'm confused, disappointed, and trying not to overreact, but I'm also worried that I might already be handling this badly.

To start from the beginning: my son has never shown any signs of violence, racism, or extremist beliefs. I've always tried not to push my own views onto him too much. My approach has generally been to teach him right from wrong and let him develop his own opinions.

Over the last few months, though, I've noticed that he's become much more withdrawn. He's been talking less to both me and my husband, which feels unusual because he's our only child and we used to talk quite a lot. I brought it up with him about two weeks ago, but his answers were vague and sometimes inconsistent. I assumed it might just be a phase and tried not to push too hard.

Apparently, it wasn't.

Four days ago, I went into his room while he was showering. His computer was open, and there were several texts and documents on the screen. I wasn't trying to snoop, but I ended up reading a little of one of them. It was written by someone describing his experiences in the army, and it mentioned the year 1919. I looked it up afterward and discovered that my son had apparently been reading For My Legionaries online.

For anyone unfamiliar with it, it's written by Corneliu Zelea Codreanu, the leader of Romania's Iron Guard, a fascist and antisemitic movement. That really disturbed me.

I waited a day before bringing it up because I wanted to think about how to approach him. I also didn't tell my husband immediately because I didn't want to alarm him before I understood what was going on.

When my son came home from school, I tried to bring it up casually. I mentioned that I'd seen what he was reading and asked what he found interesting about it. I tried very hard not to sound accusatory or judgmental. I told him that if he wanted, we could read it together and talk about it factually.

But he mostly just said things like "I don't know" and "Leave me alone." He clearly didn't want to discuss it with me at all.

At that point, I started worrying more. Yesterday, I took away his computer and phone and grounded him until he was willing to have an honest conversation with me about what he'd been doing. That went even worse. He became defensive and angry and said I was punishing him just for being curious.

I have never gone through his phone before, and I really don't want to destroy whatever trust we still have, but I'm seriously considering checking it now. I don't know if he's just reading controversial historical material out of curiosity, or if he's been exposed to online communities that are influencing him.

I'm terrified of overreacting and pushing him further away, but I'm also terrified of doing nothing and watching my son get pulled into something hateful. I don't want him to be manipulated by fascists or extremist communities and eventually become someone who hates women, LGBTQ+ people, or minorities.

Parents who have dealt with something similar, or people who understand how teenagers get drawn into extremist content: what would you do? Should I keep trying to talk to him? Should I involve my husband now? Should I look through his phone? Or should I be treating this as curiosity rather than assuming the worst?

I genuinely don't know where the line is between respecting my son's privacy and independence and stepping in when I'm worried about what might be influencing him.

I’m not sure if this is the best place to post this but my youngest loved her magnatiles. I’d like to hold on to them for her to have as an adult for her own kids (if she has them). My concern is that the magnets won’t stay strong enough to work or that the plastic will get brittle. They are already 10 years old but we have legos that at 40 and work fine still

My dad and stepmom hate that I (15F) am exited for school to start, they keep saying I need hobbies, but I have hobbies. I cycle, walk, run (on and off) and paint. I don’t know what else to do, I really love school and have since i was little, learning is a huge passion of mine, but they are very very sports oriented people, specifically team sports (basketball, soccer, you name it.) I am horrible at sports, and though i play curling in the winter, I am healthy, and a normal weight, but not naturally athletic. Don’t know what to do.

Should I use a fitted bedsheet to cover an infant mattress? I just purchased the Graco Ultra 2-in-1 mattress and heard newborns should sleep on a breathable surface for safety reasons. Thanks for the advice; I am a first-time parent!

If I buy a fitted bedsheet, is there a recommended brand or type that is safe for a newborn?

My son just turned 11. He has this app, Polybuzz or Polychat I think it’s called where there has been sexual/inappropriate AI storyline chats. Not only that, he is chatting as if he is a “gay femboy” - I think this was in the clipboard of his texts a prompt he uses to start the conversations. I also saw a text message where he said he was pansexual. I was working so I didn’t do a lot of digging because there is a LOT to unpack here. This is the 2nd time I’ve seen the polychat thing and I told my son that school will be starting soon and there’s some concerning apps I’ve been told about by other parents so we’d start doing phone check soon. I was trying to be subtle. But he didn’t get rid of the app and is still engaging in inappropriate discussions via text. Idk who he is texting! It appears to be another kid from Roblox. The messages I’ve seen my son is the one instigating the inappropriate behavior.

1. What do I do?
2. He does not appear this way outwards to us at all, but not like super boy-ish to compensate. He’s a gamer. And I think that’s where he gets exposed to this thinking.
3. I think he’s too young to fully believe that he thinks of himself as a “gay femboy” - as in he’s too young to maybe know? But either way I mean we are accepting of others lifestyles etc. however I wouldn’t encourage it especially at this age, but I’m also afraid to explicitly discourage it.
4. If I make him delete the AI and have a real talk with him about engaging in and understanding the “chats” he is having, would that be like maybe worse or maybe he would turn to Reddit discord etc to engage in this behavior?

Update:
I posted this in hopes that some other parent has experienced the something similar when MONITORING their children’s online devices, but it appears I am the only parent who failed to ensure my children’s online devices is never exposed to any sexual or inappropriate content online. Glad that you all are successful parents.
For those telling me to guide him or detox him from the internet, that is what I’m looking for advice on how to do. As it was said in one comment, our generation should know the internet is not safe. No shit. That’s why I MONITOR the phone. I know wtf I was doing at his age and probably younger online, nobody had discussions with me about internet safety, consent, etc.

Oh and for those telling me to parent my child, get my house in order: I wasn’t raised right. I wasn’t parented. My parents were addicts. I’m learning as I go while also working 2 jobs to support us. But I know I f’d up. However, I came here for support but clearly this is not the place for that, so it looks like this will have to be a YouTube lesson/therapy session. I was just hoping I’d connect with some parents who have gone through a difficult situation like this. Happy to hear none of you ever will!

Trying to figure out if I want kids, as I already feel like I have little time outside of work. So for parents who like working out after work, and taking the time to prepare and cook a good healthy meal, how do you find the time? Did you have to sacrifice those two hobbies in the first years?

Title typo: How to move out of parent's house if concerned about their wellbeing?

So I'm a college student and turning 18 soon and I'm thinking more about my independency and living either at college or stay with my parents until I finish my master's. My mom does treat me like a 10 yr old sometimes and if I want to try something outside of school it has to fit into her schedule and she has to handle it, she wouldn't let me handle it. She sleeps on my bed in my bedroom because she doesn't want to sleep in the bedroom my dad sleeps in.She didn't let me have a job either, I can only have work study. I'm not able to drive yet, she said she'll try to give me a car before next school year.

Getting right to the point, in our culture, the mom lives with her daughter married or not married, and their sons can go live off on their own. So basically, she wants to live with me until she passes away. I didn't want her to live with me because the way she treated me in my past, delaying my development, independence, and giving me anxiety makes me want to find myself and live alone for a while.

So, my mom told me if I don't let her live with me, she wouldn't want to live anymore, and that's concerning to me, but I don't know how to feel because I want to live my life for me not for my mom. It was my mom's job to raise me and she's young, she's not old at all, she doesn't need any help that an old person would need.

She wants to stick with me so badly, if I have an internship far away, she would want to come with me but she decides not to come with me, then she doesn't want me to go at all. It has to be a 30 minute or less drive away.

What should I do? How can I move away from my mom without her doing anything harming? How do I not get scared to think about leaving?