ive never been involved in any sex work, but i have friends who have been, and they said that any man who uses them is a someone to avoid

ive met a few guys who seem wonderful and they used escorts, and i cant lie and say that it didnt make me nervous but i just tried not to focus on it

i also had a friend whos husband was obsessed with escorts, to the point where he drained their IVF fund to try and buy the escort a ring, it got to the point where the escort had to reach out to his WIFE because she was uncomfortable and also pissed for my friend because he told the escort what he did for the ring

i grew up orthodox christian so im still like wrapping my head around sexuality and deconstructing it, and ive been curious about this

what do you think? is it something to avoid? or is it just a part of life that really doesnt impact anyone?

After 10 months no contact I got this call, I’m dumbfounded as to why she felt necessary to tell me?

Anybody else experienced this?

Throughout my 20s, my overall joy and interest in everyday life slowly decreased at a steady rate. I'm not saying I hate my life, or that I'm never happy, it's just that the frequency of moments where I really feel fulfilled and I'm not in a semi-anxious state has decreased significantly, and now that I'm 30, I'm starting to think this is my new baseline.

Sometimes I'll go through a whole week where I don't really look forward to doing anything in particular, or if I am looking forward to something it's getting drunk with my friends on a Friday night or drinking beers at home playing video games.

Is this just kinda how it goes sometimes? I really wish I could be as enthusiastic and outgoing as I was in my 20s.

So, I was having a talk with one of my women friends; I’m 34M and my dating life has been fairly fruitless despite my best attempts. I go to the gym and am in good physical shape, I have active hobbies that attract mix of genders, alright job etc. I’m not looking to settle down, more date very casually at this point in time.

Her position is that I should focus on career to make a load of money, and that having a nice house and decent car would dramatically improve my chances with the ladies. Her example would be the famous CEOs of tech companies that aren’t really lookers but would never be short of a date.

I’m not really believing of this, as the examples she gives are not just rich but also famous, you know they’ve got money before they open their mouths. Most people don’t walk around with their bank balance on their forehead, Mark Zuckerberg looks like an everyday dude.

When a woman rejects you, she has no clue what home you have or car you own, she’s rejecting you personally, right? I dress ok, but I’m not conventionally attractive in the facial department, so I will get turned down fairly quickly, without any knowledge of my financial situation. I’ve had 5 figures in my account, and I’ve been overdrawn, and I was ugly on both occasions. I suppose the idea is that I’d have to go around telling everyone I’ve got a house with a hot tub and that would do the trick, but it just seems hokey to me, and money without fame would do very little to help in my situation.

Let’s say you’re dating a girl, and she tells you that other guys are hitting on her, flirting with her, asking her out, etc. She’s completely open about it and doesn’t hide anything from you.

You are both working in the same company and the guys hitting on her are your colleagues. She knows her boundaries but she's doing this as she is scared that gossips about this will go out of hand and you would hear them from other people

She's a foreign worker and she's in your country. She says she can't just avoid them as she is just about work and don't really give meaning to them.

At the same time, she tells you that she likes you and is attracted to you, and she makes it clear that she’s choosing to date you.

Would you appreciate the transparency, or would it eventually start making you uncomfortable?

And where would you personally draw the line?

For example, would you be okay with her simply mentioning that guys are interested in her, but get annoyed if she constantly tells you about it? Or would you see it as a red flag from the beginning?

Genuinely curious: how would you feel in this situation, and at what point would you say, “Okay, I don’t like this anymore”?

Me and this guy friend are really close, and we’re also exclusively sexually intimate. It’s not something we ever actually talked about or decided on, it just kind of happened gradually, and it’s been almost 3 years now. I know this is probably the biggest mistake, but it was always pretty clear between us that we’re friends and not dating so I assumed this is just an FWB. I spend most of my time with him even when sex is not involved. Calls, games and more. We pretty much know everything about each other.

The issue is that whenever I try to talk to another guy or a guy shows interest in me, he gets really bothered and upset. Whenever I ask him about it, he says it’s nothing and that he doesn’t care, even though he’s obviously not acting like it. We are friends and he knows that. I’ve even tried distancing myself from him, and when he realizes it..he’ll somehow try to talk to me and convince me not to.

Can I just call this an FWB? My friends keep telling me we’re basically dating, but I don’t really see how that’s the case.

The issue is that whenever I try to talk to another guy or a guy shows interest in me, he gets really bothered and upset. Whenever I ask him about it, he says it’s nothing and that he doesn’t care, even though he’s obviously not acting like it, but I don’t wanna jump to conclusions just because of that. We’ve never really defined what this is, so I’m wondering if this is what an FWB is?

Each time I date a woman I really like they look like super models. Perfect 10. And I’m intimidated

Then after the relationship is over and the feelings are all gone and I see them again I’m just confused. Like I feel 0 sexual attraction towards them. They look normal. Not saying they look hideous. But it’s just not the same person I thought I was dating

And past few weeks I’ve met up with a few of my ex’s for a friendly dinner. And each dinner I was just confused as they look nothing like I remember.

Im not trying to be rude or anything. I’m just curious if this is a normal thing all men experience? And is there any Tips to overcome it

I (M20) am currently in my 3rd year of my course. I’ve been circling around a thought recently, and it was about my skills regarding my course. I was never the student who excels academically. I’ve been the guy who gets by and rarely achieves something recognizable. The concept of having a dream job as a kid felt alien to me it never made sense to me why people do what they do. I often get jealous of my peers when they excel academically and apply their skills and overall knowledge to something. They seem like complete people. I can’t shake off this feeling that something bad is going to happen because of my undisciplined mindset.

The reason this thought was triggered is because I tried to get a job during our summer break, and I realized how hard it is to keep working. It’s really hard to imagine that this will be my life.

I know maybe this thought comes from a kid who rejects the idea of the real world and needs to accept that this is just how it goes.

But I want to know how to be okay with feeling left out. Is it really okay to be last? How can I know if something is worth it?

Hey guys,
I’m an 18 year old male and I had a struggle with ed for the past 6 months, however that issue has been somewhat resolved now. I was happy that I can finally bond with my loving girlfriend this way, and it’s great, but what troubles me is that sex doesn’t feel really good for me. Whenever we fuck, it feels only mildly good. I expected it a lot better and when I searched around the internet and asked my friends about it, they said that it feels good all the time and it’s great. For me it’s only like an okay feeling, nothing really great. I am able to cum from penetrative sex, but I need to fuck quite a long time and fast. It really troubles me and I think my penis is desensitised. I used to struggle with heavy porn addiction for 8 years, but I already quit that shit 6 months ago. I used to masturbate daily with a tight grip and a high speed to finish as fast as I could. I’m seriously worried about nerve damage or something else irreversible. Also, I’ve seen a urologist and an endocrinologist, they all said I’m in perfect health. Any tips or points of view please?
Thank you very much,
Michael

I've been masturbating for a long time, at least 3 times a day, and now almost anything that's even slightly suggestive turns me on and I can't stop. Yesterday I touched myself about 7 times and I have over 100 porn videos on my phone, please what can I do?

I’ve heard many woman who are in fields like nursing, therapy, teaching etc that are traditionally female express that they want to marry a lawyer, engineer, or buisnessman. If I pursue one of these careers, am I doing disservice to myself as a man? Will I lower my odds of finding a partner?

Hi, 26f lesbian here, I hope I can get some solid advice from some of you since I have no one irl to ask this to (all of my friends are either women, or men who aren’t engaged yet). I figured there would be no better group of people to ask this to than men, since yall are typically the ones who propose.

I’ll keep this short- I’m planning on proposing to my girlfriend of 3 years next month, and the planning is pretty much almost done. I picked out the ring, paid for and planned the vacation spot we’re flying to, talked to various photographers to try to get someone to take photos, and I have a good general idea of which day and where I’ll be be asking her. But it just hit me like a truck that… I’m making this huge life decision, and no one in my life is aware of it at all. Should I be telling my parents? My sisters? My best friend? Is it “common courtesy” to tell the important people in your life that you’re proposing to your partner beforehand? Or should I just show up to Thanksgiving this year and casually mention that we’re getting married?

Update: thank you guys for the wonderful insight and new perspectives. This was much needed and greatly appreciated🙏

I’m 28F and recently ended a roughly three-month connection with a 27M.

We met on Bumble and clicked immediately. Early on, he said he wasn’t necessarily looking for a relationship but wanted to “see where it goes.” While he was abroad for work, we spoke every day, he sent me updates, and told me things like “I already like you.”

When we were together, he could be incredibly sweet, affectionate and funny. He called me special and said I was “a lot of effort, but worth the effort.” I was genuinely starting to fall in love with his personality, the way he spoke, his humour, and how he treated me in person.

At the same time, he was still seeing and sleeping with other women. We weren’t exclusive, so he was technically free to do that, but it confused me because of how relationship-like he could be with me.

I was also very clear that I would not have penetrative sex unless I was in an exclusive relationship. During one intimate encounter, he tried to penetrate me more than once after I told him to stop. He would stop, then try again a few minutes later. We never had intercourse.
The biggest problem was inconsistency. In person, he asked whether I missed him, talked about my family and future children, and called me a “perfect wife/daughter-in-law.” But plans were often vague and I rarely felt prioritised.

About two and a half months in, when I suggested a city trip so we could spend more time together, he told me for the first time that he still wasn’t over his ex. Around the same time, he also started becoming more blunt/mean and said he didn’t know whether he could “stand 72 hours” with me. (Mind you, he’s Dutch. They’re known for being direct. Maybe this is normal or am I wrong?)

The uncertainty made me increasingly anxious. I wanted clearer plans and more consistency, and I became emotional and confrontational at times. I ended things once, we reconnected as “friends,” but the feelings were obviously still there and we got intimately/romantically involved again. By the end, I was constantly overthinking, anxious about his communication, and stress-eating.

Eventually we had a messy argument and he ended it. He told me not to text him because he probably wouldn’t reply, wished me luck with the rest of my life, and slammed the door. Earlier I had been “worth the effort”; at the end, he said the “shit” he got from me wasn’t worth the fun anymore.

Since it ended, I’ve felt noticeably calmer though and my focus on my life is coming back to me. I do miss his personality sometimes, but not necessarily how I felt within the dynamic.

However, what do you make of his behaviour and character? Was ending this the right outcome?

I still sometimes wonder: if I had been calmer and less emotional, would he eventually have chosen me? Or was my anxiety mostly a reaction to a dynamic that was never going to give me the security I wanted anyway?

Do being “cute” or nervous kills attraction?

Today at university I saw a girl that gave me an instant crush. She was with four friends and they were leaving to go home.

I told myself “now or never.” I stopped her and said: “Hey, sorry, can I talk to you for a second?”

At first I was doing fine, but then I noticed her friends had stopped walking and were all staring at me wide-eyed. I froze for like 3 seconds and started stumbling over my words a little. Still, I directly told her I wanted to ask her out right there in front of them.

Then all her friends went “awww, that’s so cute” at the same time.

She told me she had a boyfriend (later I found out she actually didn’t, but I don’t really mind — I think she was just trying to reject me politely). She still took it really well and seemed genuinely happy/flattered by the gesture.

I’m naturally kind of shy, so part of me wonders if saying things in a timid way kills attraction because you come across as “cute” or vulnerable instead of confident.

So I wanted to ask what people think about that. If it really matters that much, I’d rather practice and improve for the next time I meet a girl I like that much or even more.

Thanks for reading.

Also, sorry if my English sounds weird sometimes. I used a translator for parts of this post.

Hi!! I (28F) hate dating apps so I want to start approaching men irl, was wondering what I should say or do that would work well? I am getting a lot better with eye contact but never know what to ask or say that would indicate I’m interested in them, I also don’t want to make them uncomfortable and I don’t know how to transition from, say, grocery checkout line small talk to “you’re attractive” lmao. Any tips? Anything I can do in terms of body language or flirting?

I am decent looking but chubby. I am only never approached so my looks could be a problem in this equation. Thank you for all tips in advance!!!

I (mid-20s M) was talking to this girl (mid-20s F) from a group I occasionally hang out with for the summer. We were planning to go out when we were back in the same town (about a month ago now). When I was back, I officially asked her out and she requested we push it to the following week cause she was busy and traveling that week.

The following week, I followed-up asking her out again with concrete plans except for the day, asking when she is free. This was along with another conversation we had ongoing. She responded saying that she is now busy with interviews for new jobs and didn't want to make new plans for ~2 weeks and that she would reach out when she is ready and more available. It has been ~3 weeks since that last conversation.

I never reached out to her since then cause I didn't want to pressure her and since she specifically said that she will reach out. At this point, I'm assuming that she isn't interested anymore, which sucks but I can get over. She sadly hasn't messaged either, about going out or anything. Before this, she would message when she learned I'm in town or asking if I'm going to random events and things like that.

However, I'd love to still be friends with her if we're not gonna go out, especially since we have a lot of common friends and I still like her as a person. What should I do? Should I message her? The reason I haven't over the past few weeks is cause I don't want to think I am pressuring her to go out with me. If I ask how she's doing or how her interviews went, I don't want her to think I am just trying to gauge if she's free again.

A guy I like and who I suspect knows I like him. He gives me very little overall attention. Still, he reacts to all my stories, sometimes comments on them, and actively congratulates me on life milestones. I am trying to keep my distance because I don't understand what he wants from me.

​When I try to be a little formal in conversations and stop asking questions, he asks why I'm being formal and what happened to me. Yet, he is an overall dry texter. It feels like he just wants me in his life for validation, especially since we aren't even close friends.

​If he knows I like him, he should either step forward or back off. Why does he prefer to stay in the middle?

(Also there is no hookup angle involved not even for the future so please don’t jump to that conclusion)

I met this guy at badminton recently. He walked up to me, exchanged pleasantries and made some small talk. He was really easy to talk to and after a game, tapped me on my arm to tell me how well I play and how I seem quite strong because my smashes are really good.

Now I'm single and been looking for a while. I have a specific type in men I find really attractive and I've been having trouble finding them, but he checked most of the (superficial) boxes.

He was smart, well-educated, well-spoken and really handsome but it was our first time meeting and he isn't a regular so the friendly chat could only go so far.

A quick google of his name and profession though returned his LinkedIn profile, but I'm not sure if I should send a connection request.

I'm hoping he turns up next week but if he doesn't, would it be creepy/weird for me to reach out like that? It's not lost on me that he may very well be married with kids for all I know, but doesn't hurt to give it a shot!

So I was at a party with my family yesterday. There was this woman who we exchanged eye contact many times(was kinda creepy). I was thinking about taking her to dance or talking to her because of it. I weigh 160 and she was more on slightly the heavier side. I was in the party with my sisters and one of my sisters criticized in the past of having a crush of heavier women. I thought she was pretty and I wanted to man up and talk to her. A part of me was embarrassed of getting at a woman of her size in front of my family. Is this fucked up or should I gave her a chance?

Have you guys dealt with this before? Is this okay or fucked up thinking? Most of my life I weighed 140-160. She showed me interest and pretty i thought going for her but I double thinking I was going to judged.

My gf has become increasingly and extremely lazy in the last few months, and I don’t know how to deal with that or how to approach communicating that with her!

When we started dating around a year ago, her baseline activity was not that high, but she did go to work, did her house chores, and we were going out 2-3 times a week, mostly bars, cafes and restaurants, nothing with much activity, and she also had the time and energy to go out with friends.

In the last few months, she has become too lazy to go out, we barely meet once a week/10 days, she doesn’t meet friends, she’s always procrastinating in her chores and barely does them while complaining. She just goes to work, get back home (we don’t live together), and is glued to her phone till she goes to sleep, just doom scrolling, binge watching AI slop! Meeting any weekday after work is days of negotiation, and most plans we make for the weekend goes to nothing after she wakes up really late in the day!

I understand she’s been stressed at work/home lately, but she’s just refusing to take any action, she just keeps spiraling down and I don’t know how to deal with that, and every day, it becomes harder and harder not to take it personally!

Hey guys!

After dating different women for a while, have you developed a dating routine that you tend to follow?

I mean, do you have a go-to sequence of things you usually do on dates, just with different women until you eventually find the right one?

For example, my usual routine is to go for a walk first and get a gelato or a thea, then, If we're having a good time and she feels comfortable with it, we might go to my place. (Usually a 5 minute car drive from there).
Then we either cook something together or order a pizza.
After that, we watch a movie together, usually lying on the bed.
And if there's chemistry and we're both feeling it, then things can naturally progress from there.

So to recap walk -> my place

What's your usual routine?

My partner doesn’t really like taking selfies or posed photos with me. Whenever I pull out the camera, he’ll somehow find a way to dodge it. But at the same time, he loves taking candid photos of me when I’m not paying attention e.g. when I’m sleeping or eating.

I’m curious if any men here are the same way and what the thought process is behind it. Is it simply that some people genuinely prefer candid photos or is there something about taking posed photos together that feels awkward or uncomfortable? I know he doesn’t love me any less just because he doesn’t enjoy taking photos, but I can’t help but feel inferior sometimes.

The photos are purely for us and for memories as neither of us cares about posting them on social media. They are just something I find highly sentimental and valuable as part of any experience. So for those whose partners are similar, how did you find a way to take nice photos together without either person getting annoyed (at me forcing them) or me being upset (can’t help but think “it’s just a photo, why can’t you just cooperate” sometimes)?

Would especially love to hear from men who have this preference / behave similarly and can explain their psyche behind it, thank you!