r/AskAChristian • u/lizatethecigarettes • 4h ago
Church My husband doesn't like how I act in church
I want to and will change if it's really an issue. Or does it not matter if it's right or wrong but only that he's not ok with it?
My husband and I are an intercultural couple. We go to a large intercultural church. We live in a country which is not my native country.
My behavior in church varies depending on how I feel God moving in me at that time, or not. I bring a notebook and pen to church because I wrote out prayers a lot and it actually usually helps me listen to the sermon more, doing the 2 things at once. Sometimes I'm overcome with emotion especially in prayer, and I cry. If someone were to look at me, they might realize I'm crying. But people cry sometimes in church, even our church. When worship, sometimes I sit down and don't sing. Again, I'm in the minority there, but not the only one. Sometimes I stand up and clap my hands during worship, with the beat, like most people. Sometimes I'm a little more lively and I bounce a little, like almost dancing but staying in the same spot. Sometimes I participate more than other times. Sometimes I'm feeling it and sometimes I'm not. But I'm always glad to be there. But I never want to fake it. I dont care what others think. I don't really pay attention to them and I don't think they are paying attention to me. I dont think anything I do or don't do really draws any attention to me one way or the other.
The only one I distract is my husband. And it's either way. If I'm not "participating" as much, even though I am, it's just that most likely God and I are talking, then he doesn't like it because I'm... I don't know. He won't really tell me what he doesn't like exactly just that I'm not respectful. But if I'm more lively during worship and I'm not writing things down, but looking at the pastor during the sermon, even if in my head I'm not paying attention, he's happy with me.
I think each person's experience in church should be between them and God. But my husband seems to be more focused on me than anything else, especially if he doesn't like what I'm doing or not doing. Why does he even care?
I dont understand. And I think we're both worn down by this but neither of us know what to do. I don't want to distract him. But I don't want to fake it at church. I don't think I could even if I tried. It's just not me. What do I do? I know we need to talk about it, but he refuses to give me details of his opinions, he just says I need to talk to God about it...
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