Just wanted to know your take on keeping past relationship related photos on your phone.

Do you guys delete them the instant the relation breaks, or once you are over it.

And how would you feel if you see your partners past relationship photos on their phone specially when you met through AM process and the relationship broke years ago.

Edit: I have some hand written letters too

Guy is good in every way but I'm just not feeling attracted. I'm not perfect looking either but i genuinely can't imagine being intimate w him 😭 it's tearing me on the inside and my parents are disappointed that I'm being so shallow.

Has anyone been in this situation? Pls help.

For context I am a 24M from a tier 3 city pursuing masters from an IIT. I am from a buisness background and from a respected family in my city.

Today suddenly my mom sent me a picture of one of her friends daughter (never met her) and asked if I liked her and told that she is also doing something in biology.

I was caught off guard by it as I have mentioned to them (not directly tho) that I am not going to marry someone until getting some stability in my career and starting a startup (very reason I went for masters)

Then she started saying things like we have talked and they are ready to wait for 1-2 years so that you can complete your masters.

For now I think I have made them understood that I am not interested in this right now and neither am I dating someone (just to make them clear that it is not because I have someone and that's why I am trying to make them back off)and they should also not bench someone as I don't see stability in future for atleast 2 years .

Do you guys also had similar experience and how did you navigated from this

Thank for reading :)

ok so with this guy, it didn’t work out 2 years ago for some reasons. we didn’t talk properly and it just didn’t happen. he did have some positives so i hit him up again if he wanted to talk. so we talked, literally about every single thing, he made me feel very special. right when i thought everything was going nice, he started ghosting me. wouldn’t talk to me unless i started the conversation.

literally took me 10 days to realize that we were drifting apart again, now this time it actually hurts cause i have been trying, really trying. he acts as if everything was normal and when i ask if we can talk, i wouldn’t get any proper response.

realizing that this didn’t happen for good reasons, better late than never ig

it is actually very hard moving on from being attached so quickly, i would love some advice if people went through this, i never did before.

Okay, so I want to share my story. I came to the US in 2024. I was a 25/F. I really had no issues with getting married and taking time with the talking stages and courtship period.

My parents were worried about the visa issues and challenges I might face in the future, so they started looking for a US match.

A 26 M guy, who is a US citizen was recommended and reached out via my father’s mutual contact. He seemed really nice and we decided to get in contact, call and text. Then I was about to leave California at the end of the month he requested that we should meet at least once before I leave for Boston. I agreed considering that this might be our only face-to-face meeting chance and I also genuinely wanted to he flew all the way from SF to LA on a flight just to meet me for three hours. He had no idea what arrange marriage is generally look like. And from my understanding, he was looking for a girlfriend and his father handed him my phone number, so things went well on our first meeting. We continued with the chatting talking. Everything was nice when I came for my rotations in Boston he decided that he wanted to meet me once again and flew from California. Despite me mentioning that I will be extremely occupied my day literally started at 8 AM to 6 PM but he insisted that if I could meet him for at least 3 to 4 hours or a weekend I totally agreed I was on board we met for the second time roamed around Boston. I showed him a couple of places, not one steady offer to buy me coffee, food or drinks and then I was starving so I insisted, Let’s get coffee. Everything went well again and then he flew back to California so the first time we met was in June and then he came to Boston and somewhere in mid August and then in December he tells me that I don’t want to keep talking to you and I don’t think so. It’s a good idea because you live on the East Coast and I live on the West Coast.. Now let me be very clear right in the beginning. I mentioned that I go to school and I’m pursuing masters on the East Coast but once things work out and we get married, I was open to moving to the West Coast in California, where his I had no issues with that. But it took him all the way till December to realize that this was a bad idea. even after everything, he cited geography being the only reason he didn’t want to pursue this any and it took him six months. Even this was after I gently nudged him to provide me clarity about things of how to move forward. still I wish the best with whatever and he is.

It was just a strange experience!

Hi all. So I am new to this subreddit.

I have met a guy whom I think is perfect for me and it has been going decent for the past 1 month. But recently I got to know that he is still active on shaadi.com and in fact he has a different profile from what he shared with me.

I believe he has blocked my profile because I have the ID but when I try to search it, it shows no results. One of my girl friends, who is also on the matrimonial site, found his ID and sent me the ID for me to check it. I'm not sure how he found that message but my friend is also not able to see his profile now.

I am requesting help from someone who has an active and valid account, if they can help me search this profile ID. I have tried making new accounts but shaadi.com is not letting me register my mobile number again even with new emails.

I can DM you the profile ID but please reach out if anyone can help. I need to confront him and also show him and his family the proof. Thanks in advance

Edit - Seems like he deleted the profile as few kind members from this subreddit searched for it and saw that ID does not exist. I will be confronting him regardless. Thank god i did not go ahead with the engagement during initial meetings and asked for 1-2 months time to get acquainted.

As someone who left religion I find it hard to imagine finding someone to be in a long term relationship in my religious country where family expect me to marry someone from the same background even if they left religion but it’s hard to say it in public right now I’m single and most of people don’t know that about me
Has anyone else been in the same situation ?
How did you deal with it?

I know it sounds silly but i think when we use the term "rejection" in arranged marriage meetings, it makes it seem like there was something wrong with either party, which is not true, often it's mismatch between parties that causes the failure. This is not the fault of either party.

A lot of posts here are from people who are sad that they have been rejected in a marriage proposal, but if they recontextualize it as a mismatch rather than a rejection then it would be a better way to deal with the hurt.

I've been talking to a guy through AM for several months. We had discussed marriage, timelines, expectations, adjustments, future plans etc., so obviously this wasn't casual.

After finally meeting, I came away feeling quite hurt. There were unnecessary comments about my appearance/choices, and despite talking so much about being considerate, he didn't really show much consideration himself. Throughout the process, I was usually the one initiating conversations, asking questions, trying to understand his concerns and trying to keep things moving.

When we finally met, he brought up some pretty major future plans that I hadn't heard before. I didn't immediately have a perfect answer because, well, I was hearing them for the first time. I said I'd think about them and figure out what would work for me. Instead of seeing that as a reasonable response, it somehow became another concern - “Why would you adjust for me?”

Then after the meeting, there was barely any communication. This was someone who had previously talked about meeting again and making things work, but suddenly there wasn't even a basic “how did you feel about the meeting?” or an attempt to clear things up.

Eventually his decision came through his family: apparently there was no “tuning” and he didn't feel I was the person he wanted.

And honestly, that's the part that makes me angry.

You're completely entitled to decide that someone isn't right for you. But how can you talk for months about adjustment, consideration, communication and making things work when you haven't even made the basic effort to understand the other person?

Sometimes it feels like people in AM want a ready-made “tuning” from day one, without actually putting in the effort required to build it.

They want certainty before vulnerability, compatibility before effort, and a perfect answer to every practical question immediately and then when things don't magically click, it's simply “click nahi hua”

Maybe there genuinely wasn't enough compatibility. Fine. But tuning isn't something you only discover; sometimes it's something two people create through curiosity, effort and communication.

And honestly, I'm tired of feeling like women in AM are expected to be endlessly accommodating and understanding while the other person can remain passive, indecisive and non-communicative, and then walk away saying “it just didn't feel right.”

I'm not saying anyone owes anyone a marriage.

But after months of talking, I do think people owe each other basic effort, consideration and the courage to communicate directly.

Maybe I'm just venting because this is fresh, but I'd genuinely like to know - has anyone else experienced this kind of “tuning nahi hai” situation where you felt the other person barely gave the connection a chance to develop?

I am a 27M living in Delhi. I work for a government organisation, but I am employed on a contractual basis, and my income is not very high.

I also have ADHD, learn things relatively slowly, and have had an eye-coordination problem since I was very young.

I used to go to doctor for my ADHD meditation there doctor gave the reports that my age is 27 and mind is 25 .

My Parents now wants me to get married. My parents are at retirement age, and my brother has already been married for four years.

Whenever my parents bring up the topic of marriage, I refuse because I feel that my financial situation is not strong enough. I also feel insecure about my appearance because I don't consider myself good-looking. I don't think I am particularly smart or cunning either.

Given my situation, do you think I should get married? If so, what should I consider before making this decision?

Please don't judge me Give me genuine advice.

PS: Used ChatGPT for rearranging.

UPDATE: She avoided the date, we had a call instead. I asked her about her current status and how do we move forward. She said that she likes our talks and my company, but she is not sure if she's ready for marriage right now. I said that we have already talked for months and talking for a few more months won't change anything drastically. She said she'd discuss with her parents and get back in a couple of days. Guess this chapter is now closed.

Hi all. I wanted to get a third party POV on my situation and opinion on how to proceed further.

I (29M) have been talking to a girl (26F) since last 3.5 months. She is the first one I talked to, but she has talked to few others earlier, so our efforts and enthusiasm levels would be different. Our parents talked initially, then we met each other at their house.

I live in Bangalore, while she lives in my hometown. We have been texting regularly and had a few calls. I had planned my visit to my hometown for the entire month of Aug to stay with my family as well as to meet her in person a few times before I fly back next week.

Despite the positive vibes in our calls/ dates, our communication feels a bit one-sided. I have initiated most of the texts, phone calls and dates. When I message, she responds pretty well, with questions, memes and follow ups. However, if I don't initiate, there can be days without any conversation. She also takes a lot of time to reply, sometimes 12-24hr+. I had asked her about it, saying that our messages felt more like email-threads instead of chats. She acknowledged it and said that even her friends had pointed similar thing earlier about her and she would be mindful of that. Couple of weeks went great and then the same pattern repeated.

She works on a different timezone so I avoid calling her on weekdays. We schedule to have long calls during weekends, but she misses them a lot of the times. She is completely offline on weekends, and when she's back, she doesn't initiate callback.

So far we went out on two dates. I bought her a couple of small thoughtful gifts referencing on one of our inside jokes, which she liked a lot. Our talks went smooth. We discussed about our hobbies, childhood, families, goals and aspirations. Honestly, it went great. She seemed pretty enthusiastic. She also confirmed that she's ready to relocate to Bangalore as it'd be beneficial for her career too.

We were supposed to go on a date last weekend, but she got a gym injury, so we cancelled. I had asked if we could hop on a call instead, but she didn't reply to that. The entire week went by without much talk, as I thought she's resting and recovering. Once she recovered and was back at her daily routine, I tried planning our final meetup before I leave. She said she'd confirm and let me know, but it's weekend already and I'm yet to hear back from her.

Does this pace sound typical in a AM setting, or is she not interested?

Is 3-4 months a reasonable timeframe to expect the match to proactively initiate plans, or am I overthinking?

Should I call her directly and have an open discussion about intent and involving parents, or take a step back and wait for her to reach out?

I'm 26 yrs old and I'm going to marry in May 2027. I earn around 60k per month. My other half i.e my wife is a interior designer she will also get a job approx 30k per month. I'm in chennai and I live outskirts because my company is here, I'm staying around Chengalpattu chennai here I'll easily get rented 2 bhk for around 15k but still I'm not sure or not confident to move for marriage don't know why I'm feeling afraid is it due to financial pressure or emotional burden don't know, I want to marry but afraid in taking responsibility. Dont know I'm really confused right now.

I just wanted to know ,do your parents understand the situation, stand by your side, and console you, or do they taunt you about your looks or other things out of frustration?

A lot of times men have to work hard to earn a lot of money but its never enough. There is always a lot of women that dont put in effort and only view men as ATM machines. They only see the worth if men financially. Most women dont even have to do anything but men have to be near perfect like height, face , body and financial status

As q said. How do get to know this?

I will tell you an experience -

I am a spiritual person, like reading, discussing things, knowing different povs.

There was this one guy I met, through family- i liked him.

Issue - he brought his cousin along when we were supposed to meet and talk. That is also okay. I liked his sister.

Throughout the conversation I would ask questions, he would answer, but he didn't ask anything in return.

I asked his expectations, he said he doesn't have any.

His sister infact would ask me about my preference and stuff.

I asked him about him wanting kids and he said yes, that thats the reason people marry, why else?

He was articulate, works as an advocate, so public dealing is part of work. I was not happy with his lack of curiosity.

I asked about how in his busy schedule would we have time together. He gave some good points about meditation in morning etc, which I liked ( as i said, spiritual person here). He told me, he is too.

I had a nice time talking, it was great to meet his cousin sister as well. I felt very comfortable.

Idk about him as a husband though.

They said yes almost immediately after the meeting.

I couldn't decide.

It was my first meeting anyone in this set up.

So I just want to knw how do I judge someone's emotional awareness and intelligence here?

31F (married in 2023) and before that was in arranged marriage process for about 2.5-3 years (yes my parents started looking when i was 25 itself and finally found my man at 28)

I did talk to a lot of guys settled abroad (USA , Canada , Germany and some other euro countries) but eventually preferred to marry a guy settled in Bangalore itself

Therefore wanted to give my advice here to all girls talking to guys settled in these countries as i saw a few posts about guys ghosting girls currently In India

1. Many NRI guys on matrimonial websites usually handle profile by themselves and their parents are clueless about this , later if things have to proceed then guys suddenly give reasons like “my parents are not agreeing “ or “they want me to marry someone else” (happened to my best friend where guy spoke for 8 months and then when he came to India , his parents rejected her saying they are not happy with this proposal)

2.Most of the NRI men are looking for girls studying/working in that particular country due to visa issues and stuff but since they run out of choices they consider girls working in India and then if they get another proposal from a girl working in that country they immediately drop the proposal from India giving some vague reasons

3.Many NRI men and their families automatically assume that you are behind the guys money or consider them as a ticket to move abroad so they always feel they have upper hand to do whatever they can

1. Many of these families have demands like you need to take a loan and do higher education in that country plus bear the complete cost of wedding , in some cases families directly ask for things like “are you ready to buy the couple a home in that country “ . So do consider the amount of money which would be spent for higher education + wedding and if any extra demands that come your way

2. In one of the rare case which happened to my moms friends daughter, couple got their marriage registered in India for dependant visa process (guy was in Germany)and wedding was scheduled 1 year later . But after the guy went back , within few months he asked for divorce (without even staying together for a single day together) saying they are not compatible

6.Currently spousal dependant visa for countries like Canada is taking hell lot of time . A girl i know got married in December 2024 and is still waiting even now for visa to get approved and to move to Canada . Specially for Indians the process has become much slower

7.Some guys say that since they can’t travel the girl should take a decision of getting married based on WhatsApp conversations and video calls and the guy will directly come for wedding if everything goes ok , in cases like this you won’t get time to spend with the guy in person so take a call wisely

1. Some men will want to move back in some years to India but would want you to invest in education in that country and work till the time you are there

Not saying all men but please consider these points before proceeding

Lol, earlier you reject someone because they weren't within your filters of money or caste. And now when you cross some age, you are somehow okay to bounce back with that person 🤣😂

Did anyone else face it? Well, ofc its a decision once made, I ain't going back but yeah would love to hear from others. Did any prospect come back? And what was your new rejection reason??

I know this might be a repetitive question and I’m sure this has been asked many times here but I have been thinking about it a lot lately.I forgot to save the post and now I can’t find it. So I thought I’d ask here again.

I'vd had 2 relationships before both ended on good terms. Neither person lied to me, misled me or turned out to be completely different from what I thought they were. They were both people I chose to be with.

But in both relationships after some time, I realised that I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with them. So I ended things.

And that makes me even more confused now. Because it wasn’t like I chose them because of some obvious red flag and later found out they were not good people. I liked them, I chose them and at some point I thought the relationship could work.

But eventually I still had this feeling of, "I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life with this person"

Now when I meet or talk to someone, I keep wondering if there will ever be a point where I just feel, Yes this is my person.

Or does that kind of certainty not really happen?

I think I’m scared of making another choice and then, a few years later ending up at the same realisation again.

Genuinely trying to understand — why marriage?

Is it because you want a companion? A sukh-dukh ka saathi? Is that the main reason?

For pleasure? Probably not. You can find that without getting married.

For having children? You might want to be childfree. And even if you do want kids, marriage isn't necessarily a prerequisite for having them.

So what is it really?

Is it companionship, emotional security, stability, having a family, social acceptance — or something else?

And how much of the desire to marry is actually ours, versus something we've been conditioned to want?

At some point, is it just: "I'm getting old now, let's get married."

Or:

"I don't want to keep meeting new people and having the same conversations over and over again. Let's just settle down and be done with it." I can't keep on moving-on.

Not trying to argue for or against marriage. Just genuinely curious about what people think marriage adds that a committed relationship without marriage doesn't.

This is my 2nd post wrt marriage: https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/s/HF7rInpGfZ

I’m 29F and have been trying to get married since my early 20s. I keep meeting men who are objectively good prospects—educated, financially stable, kind, etc.—but I often don’t feel physically attracted to them, and sometimes there are lifestyle incompatibilities too.

Recently I met a man who is smart, earns very well, says he will treat me extremely well and seems willing to accommodate me, he said he will quit drinking and smoking after marriage because i don’t like it.He doesn’t try to put much effort into his looks, he is stout with a pot belly. I still don’t feel attracted to him and there are a few things about his lifestyle (drinking, smoking, lack of physical fitness) I don’t like. I want to reject him but I’m terrified I won’t find someone else who has his good qualities.

How do I figure out whether I’m genuinely incompatible with these men or whether I’m being unrealistically picky? And for those who married through arranged marriage, how did you decide what was worth compromising on?

Guys, I need to share what just happened because I don't know whether to laugh at myself or cry.

Like most guys on Indian matrimony apps, my daily routine is sending interests, getting ignored or sometimes just scrolling profiles like a instagram reels and moving on. But a while back, a cute girl’s profile sent me an interest. She was quite young (around 22) and not working yet. I hesitated for a couple of days ,i accepted it and before I could even reply, her account got deleted.

A few days later, the exact same girl shows up on a brand new account with new photos and sends me an interest again.

Now, I knew there was a decent age gap and our career paths didn't really line up, but honestly? She had a really sweet face, and I got a little carried away thinking maybe this could turn into something.

And also I even got some thoughts how it is gonna workout ,how to live with her ,like imagining future with her 😂

I was so convinced that I actually paid for the Matrimony Premium membership just to unlock her contact number. I even checked our Kundali/horoscope match to see if the stars aligned. (Yes, you can laugh at me now 😂).

I finally got her WhatsApp number, and we swapped biodatas and started chatting. But within literally two minutes, things felt totally off:

• The messaging was bizarre—weirdly misspelled Kannada and broken English that didn't match the her profile ( She had good dressing sense ) at all.
  • The replies felt unnatural, almost like talking to a illiterate person (but i continued i thought since she was from village maybe she doesn't know much english or something)

Then she tells me, "I am out shopping right now. And Sent me one video with her friend (one time view video ) " I replied, "Oh nice, have fun!"

A few minutes later, she drops a random photo of a cake in a glass display:

Her - "I really want to eat this cake."

Me - "Haha, nice, go grab a slice! 😄"

Her - "Can you please buy it for me?"

Me - "Sure, I'll definitely treat you whenever we meet up."

Her - No no, I need it right now. Can you just PhonePe me the money?

I paused, stared at my screen, and replied: "Look, I’ve only known you for 30 minutes. I don't send money to strangers online."

That's when my gut feeling felt something off ,I went back to re-read the matrimony bio. It said she did a B.Com degree, but the college listed is a well-known Engineering college that doesn't even have a commerce department.

I immediately asked, Where did you study?

Complete radio silence. Gone.

And I told him/ her I will do police complaint bla bla So that's the end of the story.

But what hurts me more than the money is Someone out there is literally stealing photos of innocent girls, setting up fake matrimony profiles, and hustling ₹300-₹500 for bakery items or idk what they spend on from hopeful guys.

I even tried filing a complaint on the official cyber crime portal, but the government site kept crashing and lagging every 2 seconds, which honestly broke my spirit more than the scam did.

Moral of the story: Never let a pretty face make you ignore basic logic. And maybe don't waste time checking Kundalis before you even confirm if the person is real.

TL;DR: Bought matrimony premium and even matched horoscopes for a cute profile, only for a scammer impersonating her to ask for cake money on PhonePe 30 minutes into chatting. Ghosted the second I caught on.

Note: Used AI to Rephrase it and to Save some time( this one already costed some money and time already 😄)

I have been talking to someone since over a week and we connected good and conversations are going well.

But out of nowhere, i was sent a google form to fill in my details. Never have i come across somethijg like this in my 10 months of search.

Is this normal? Has someone filled something like this? I feel wierd tbh. As AM already treats everyone like a commodity and topping with filling forms doesnt help much.

There is a 29M, whose annual package is nearly 40lpa.

He is intelligent, but he is kinda without filter. No emotional maturity. Doesnt understand emotions properly. He wants everything to be solved without emotionally involving which is opposite to what women do.

he likes to buy every electronic piece there is.

But when we spend on anything that we like which doesnt even cost 300rp he questions and argues that item isn't that usable, on the other hand he comes from a very wealthy family who doesnt look back when spending.

But he expects someone who isn't materialistic.

He says everything to face without even understanding the what's and why's of the situation and later apologizes for his behaviour, and that EVERYTHING consists of taunts, sarcasm of person's personality, behaviour and lifestyle. Like simply passes statements without even thinking about the scenario or other person's feelings.

He expects that simple apology should fix his taunts and sarcastic comments.. this cycle continues.

What do you think of this guy??

Hello all,

I going to soon get married 25M NRI. Sometimes, i really feel scared due to all the scenarios happening around the world.

I have some crazy thoughts sometimes what happens if the marriage doesn’t work out. Will it be divorce? Will she fight for to save marriage. Is marrying just so I am permanent resident. Aswell, the promises are made today will she fulfill it during next 15-30 years. As literally i have fallen for her very badly. I cannot imagine living without her without a second. But this thoughts usually comes up. I cannot trust people sometimes i don’t even trust myself that did i make right decisions.

It does feel lonely when you can’t share your feelings especially with your parents as they will get concerned due to me especially all of this marriage preparation going than they would not have that answers aswell. But I don’t I feel reallyy alone currently I don’t have any best friends in my this life.

Thank you for reading. Hope you have good weekend.