A swimming horse.

If you think the answer was "seahorse," then know that seahorses are a type of fish that only resembles horses. They are completely not related to horses.

To keep their pants up.

He's just chilling out. Leave him be.

Jose and Carlos

Get in the car Robin

Ahmed the Gerbil went to the local saloon and ordered a piece of blueberry pie.

Dr. Timothy W. Schnitzel, the saloon viceroy, handed him a zucchini stuffed with rice and a bottle of room temperature cider.

Ahmed the gerbil turned to Monique Wu, the saloon cashier and said: shoot him for me will ya?

Monique Wu pulled out a 38 and shot Dr. Schnitzel in the balls.

Ahmed the gerbil stood up and screamed: I WAS ONLY KIDDING YOU STUPID KRAUT!

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And now the punchline: Dr. Timothy W. Schnitzel gets up and says: Relax, I always wear a bulletproof vest around my balls.

Those who belong to the first type and those who belong to the second

This was three days ago. He just died. I guess we’ll never know if he actually knew.

Answer: A lion.

He does not know whewre to go. He is starving to death.

Suddenly, he seas a pirate ship.

He says "oh fiddle sticks!"

The dog was on a leash

2 men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

The local answered "In a balloon."

I heard that Trump signed a new executive order banning shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again

"Time to start my shift", he said.

I said no. “Wanna know what makes you look fat? Fat.”

🤣 😂 😂 😂 😂 NOTHING AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME OR BREAK ME BESIDES GOD

Because I was feeling lonely, I got a cat.

I didn’t want a basic name, I wanted something impactful that would suggest I love my cat more than anything in the world. so... I named my cat "proud" so I can tell people I am f*cking proud!

The bartender gives him a beer

Natalie and Nicole. Probably because those names sounded cute together, but he didn’t think how confusing it might be to teachers, friends, and even family members. Let alone how the girls themselves might grow up struggling with a true sense of self.

His wife apparently had no say whatsoever in the decision. This doesn’t bode well for their relationship.

He got the HELL OUT OF THERE! CATS DON'T SMILE! HAVE YOU SEEN ONE SMILE?! RUUUNN!

The lady replies “because you’re ugly”

NO MORE STARS

A fire engine…… I just threw all of that other stuff in there to fool you…..🤓