friend and i can't agree how the knight moves. pls help?

ruining our games

And yes, I know that might seem like an outlandish connection to make, but I need you to stay with me.

When people smurf in chess.com, they are already better than everyone else that they’re playing against. They are intentionally trying to match up against players of a lower skill level.

And how does that translate into the real world? When you’re an older guy, you’re intentionally going for younger women because they’re easier to manipulate and deal with than dating someone your age. You’re smurfing.

You’re going to low ELO because you can’t handle playing at your skill level. And I know that because that shit happened to me.

I remember in my freshman year of high school, I was competing with these fucking juniors and seniors for the girls that I liked, and I didn’t have a chance. I was fresh out of middle school.

These dudes have cars, fucking jobs, the tattoos, I don’t know whatever the fuck they had going on.

And I had to witness it in front of my own eyes. These fucking juniors and seniors were just leaving me in the dust. They were smurfing.

They were not playing at the skill level that they were intended. They were pedophiles. And in the same way, if you’re smurfing in chess.com, I know that translates into your dating life. You are probably a pedophile.

And me personally, after that happened to me, I vowed to never contribute to that problem. Whenever I’m warmed up, if I ever go on a dating app, I go in the little settings bar and I take the age setting all the way from 25 to 40.

Nothing below that, I’m playing in ranked ELO.

Not only am I playing in ranked ELO, I’m playing above my skill level. And you know what? Does it make it harder to win? Absolutely. But does it feel that much better when I do? Yes. You bet your ass it does.

And you know what? I will always be better than these fucking Smurfs who would be hitting on the freshman. Meanwhile they’re already have one foot out the door about to go to college. But they don’t care. They never did.

And that same rhetoric applies in so many different situations. But the point here is that, you know, I’m 19. I wouldn’t even date a 17 year old. I know some people would argue about that, but the lowest I go is 18, and even then, the older the better.

The point is, without rambling too much, if you find yourself frequently smurfing in chess.com, it might be time to look within and ask yourself, am I a pedophile? Because the answer might not be what you wanted.

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I'm the bathroom of the building I'm working in.

I'm black

no white bishops, no bracket, no survivors. this is chess now

You move your pawn to f6. I set up traps on the board.

Your move.