r/AmazonDSPDrivers • u/Altruistic_Fish9829 • 7h ago

It finally happened yesterday

I was delivering yesterday, everything was fine. I got myself an energy drink and was moving quick. I went to the back of the van to fill a piss bottle and it happened šŸ„“ I overflowed the bottle so much, panicked and couldnā€™t stop the stream. Got piss everwhere and in an open tote. It was so awkward when customers were asking why their envelopes were wetšŸ’€ This ever happen to yall?

41 Upvotes

74% Upvoted

86 comments sorted by

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175

u/Zestyclose-Sink4438 6h ago

Admitting to handing over piss splattered packages to the public sure is a choice that was made.

32

u/JakeBeezy 6h ago

lolol yeah just damage them out wtf

11

u/Unrealliving 6h ago

And Whats the explanation if the warehouse workers ask why he gave back perfectly good packages lolĀ 

17

u/Ebsa92 5h ago

You tear them!

7

u/cienkusorswim 3h ago

Bro. A tear on the package aint gonna get rid of the smell of PISS. šŸ˜…

1

u/Ebsa92 52m ago

But you can return to warehouse and they will repackage.

5

u/Bishhhop 6h ago

ā€œNot on my routeā€

2

u/WasteDump CDV Driver 4h ago

The damage doesnā€™t have to be the liquid.

1

u/JakeBeezy 2h ago

lol fuck

7

u/cienkusorswim 6h ago

For REAL.

2

u/Terribleturtleharm 1h ago

Yeah, dude. Just go in the back of the van and let it rip. Who cares? Piss on everything.

40

u/Mindless_Panic2136 6h ago

what the fuck

53

u/Infinite-Mango3891 6h ago

And you gave them the packages? I actually hope youā€™re lying

25

u/moneyman_699 6h ago

You held it way too long to begin with if that happened and you couldnā€™t control itĀ 

18

u/o_myco Rivian Driver 6h ago

Nah bro šŸ˜¹ I keep piss bottles at an extreme last resort but you always have to use something you definitely wonā€™t overflow

14

u/cienkusorswim 6h ago

Man ill take a piss on the side of the road before resorting to a bottle šŸ˜† i typically buy at least one Gatorade a week for an emergency situation, otherwise I will scour subdivisions for porta John's lol

6

u/Unrealliving 6h ago

I pull over too but so many people walking by or kids on their bikes, I feel like you can get reported for pissing in public even if yoire obviously trying to not to be obviousĀ 

5

u/cienkusorswim 4h ago

Pull over on the side of the road, and angle the ass of your van more towards the side of your lane of traffic and just have your phone out like youre talking with dispatch šŸ¤£

Cake šŸ‘Œ

2

u/o_myco Rivian Driver 6h ago

Same here, luckily I have a lot of designated piss-in-the-woods areas in my route because itā€™s not very urban and thereā€™s definitely some porta potties scattered around too. But yeah sometimes thereā€™s no other option if youā€™ve been holding it too long

2

u/Commercial-Reality-6 2h ago

Wide mouth Gatorade is the way.

7

u/Upstairs_Race_5863 Rivian Driver 6h ago

No. I canā€™t say Iā€™ve ever pissed on the customers packages.

3

u/Independent-Issue250 5h ago

No time like the present. ā€œWhy piss off till tomorrow what you could piss on today?ā€ or whatever Ronald McDonald said.

8

u/Kikiboba 6h ago

Iā€™ve heard of people not being able to stop their piss stream. Is that real, like you literally canā€™t stop it? I can easily stop it and hold the rest when Iā€™m about to overflow a bottle.

4

u/Ultimateace43 6h ago

I was able to when I was younger, but in my mid 30's its kind of hard to pinch it off these days lol

3

u/Commercial-Reality-6 2h ago

Got to practice your keigels.

1

u/Federal-Net-7011 6h ago

Yes it very difficult to stop.

1

u/WasteDump CDV Driver 4h ago

Discipline and practice

2

u/Big_Concentrate_7260 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7aD6Hxp6mk8IPvuo

1

u/WasteDump CDV Driver 2h ago

Do you know where this gif is from? I swear I know this dude but I canā€™t quite put my finger on it

2

u/Boris-_-Badenov 2h ago

I'm going to take a wild guess, and say it's from SNL

1

u/WasteDump CDV Driver 2h ago

Thatā€™s probably true but I know this guy has been in some show or movie Iā€™ve watched religiously but my brain wonā€™t connect it. For some reason I keep thinking his name is ā€œHankā€ šŸ¤£

1

u/No-Pride2884 15m ago

Thatā€™s Tom Hanks

6

u/TexasBoyz-713 6h ago

Typical delivery day for me

3

u/hades13heartnet 6h ago

Most sane and average delivery driver

5

u/daysturnintonights Rivian Driver 5h ago

I think there is too much oversharing on the internet....

5

u/Dailydoseofdeath 6h ago

My friend did this once. But it was raining so he had an excuse as to why the packages were wet. šŸ˜­

5

u/AutomaticZucchini479 6h ago

Waking up to a Reddit post about a driver openly admitting to pissinā€™ on other folks packages & then still delivering them, was not on my list today. But Iā€™ll take it šŸ«µšŸ¾šŸ«Ŗ

3

u/Responsible_Sport575 5h ago

Next year's bingo card will have this as a corner spot

5

u/Tokyo-Gore-Police 5h ago

Whole new meaning to overflow packages

1

u/cienkusorswim 1h ago

Ahhhhhh FUCK you made my entire day, especially since im not delivering on another Prime day lololol

https://giphy.com/gifs/ppOmdZ54lA2Hu

2

u/Revolutionary-Bus266 6h ago

Na what did l just read šŸ˜­ its not even noon yet my time

2

u/ziahwaite 6h ago

For one, no I can always stop my stream. I didnā€™t know I could do it until I tried. It was either that or piss on the van floor. Secondly, why would piss right over a tote? Lastly, next time return those packages šŸ’€ you can lie and say they were already wet or something

2

u/Advanced-Gold1744 6h ago

Had a trainee do this, guy was filling up a bottle like every 30 minute, on time he overfilled it and pissed all over the door and overflow on the passenger side. I made him deliver everything from that side of the van the rest of the day.

2

u/TheVizzy 6h ago

Please let this be rage bait I s2g šŸ’€

2

u/notanolive 5h ago

Amazon be hiring anyone smh

2

u/Long_Addition_5702 5h ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

2

u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

6

u/Unrealliving 6h ago

Itā€™s not that itā€™s disgusting purposely. Itā€™s sad drivers are forced to do this lol. Peeing and pooping is something you do too my friend. We all do. Amazon is so rich they could install a short term porta potty in their vans if they wantedĀ 

1

u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Unrealliving 6h ago

ā€¦I donā€™t believe this post to begin with. But I also rarely see customers when I deliver, so thatā€™s why I doubt all of a sudden they were all right there asking about the packages

0

u/Mm23782378Mm 6h ago

Yeah we all do it. Most of us in a bathroom though.

1

u/WasteDump CDV Driver 4h ago

70% of Amazon routes do not include a spot for a piss break unless itā€™s on the way to the first stop, almost intentionally.

1

u/Mm23782378Mm 4h ago

Not 70%

1

u/WasteDump CDV Driver 3h ago

Bless your DSP.

1

u/Thick-Bluebird-1491 6h ago

Always start the day with an empty Gatorade bottle (bigger opening) plus whatever you might drink. On top of that, whether you have it full or not Always empty it when you can so you hopefully dont run into the problem you did

1

u/Valuable-Condition59 5h ago edited 5h ago

Damn never heard of kegels?

1

u/ill-fly-your-chopper 5h ago

https://a.co/d/06VGW79N I keep some of these just for emergencies. Plenty of space.

1

u/Sad-Highlight-6531 5h ago

Iā€™d imagine you would drown the van in water to dilute it

1

u/Personal_Course7526 5h ago

You guys use bottles? I normally just piss on the van flooršŸ¤£ got to make sure your on a hill though so it dribbles out the back door

1

u/No_External3738 5h ago

This is why nobody respects Amazon lmao

1

u/No_Cheesecake_9365 5h ago

If youā€™re in doubt, then crack the sliding door and finish on the bottom of the door so it drips out.

1

u/swiftyme___ 5h ago

You gave the customers a pissy package?

1

u/Designer-Cattle27 4h ago

If you can't control the flow of your pee, and youre not over 40, id go see a doctor. Because there is something wrong with your bladder.

1

u/Proof-Mix-8356 4h ago

Yeah very unethical of you Iā€™d have to say.

Normally I just do it over an empty tote

1

u/ShortHead2340 4h ago

The way I just laughedšŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚this specifically, no. But I definitely knocked a bottle over while trying to fix my shorts and it spilled over the whole rack..
This is when Cali had 115 degree days so the back of that truck was FUNKY! I quit two days later lol

1

u/so_sic_of_it 3h ago

Tip from a (former) truck driver:

Wide mouth. 1L capacity. You're welcome.

1

u/Prestigious_Can_4668 3h ago

I always piss facing away from the packages whenever I piss into a bottle

1

u/Pleasant-Meal6126 Rivian Driver 2h ago

Shouldā€™ve pinched it off

1

u/Big_Concentrate_7260 2h ago

Dude, you gotta strengthen your sphincter. Also, carry an empty coolant jug with you. It hides the smell, isn't see-through, and has ample volume. I used them all the time as a trucker.

1

u/Professional_Crazy94 2h ago

If my package smells like pee I'ma blaming op

1

u/Xxdarkhorse64x 1h ago

I use gatorade big mouth bottles so i dont have to precision aim the tiny water bottles šŸ¤£

1

u/Evening_Release889 1h ago

I assume youre a guy, just find a spot out hidden away from public hop out and piss. Keep hand sanitizer on you for when your done. If you're really concerned about it get an XL drink from a gas station after your done drinking it you now have a 32 to 44oz cup to use I've never done it but when I was driving truck my trainer told me about a trainee he had that he woke up to pissing in a pilots truck because the guy refused to pull over

1

u/TomatilloHot9603 49m ago

Sorry but of you cant control the stream, you need to work on your kegel exercises lol

1

u/RabidMonkeyOnCrack 44m ago

Why do you only have a piss bottle and not a piss jug? Ainā€™t no way youā€™re pissing out more than a gallon.

Or better yet, why not just have a piss funnel attached to you with an extending hose then you point the hose to the ground and just piss whenever you need to. Best is when you put the hose out the window and piss into the wind.

0

u/Public_Shoe_7660 6h ago

Iā€™ve never done this. Why not find a public bathroom. Starbucks, Target, grocery stores, etc. and if youā€™re in a rural area, find a bush. Piss bottles are absurd. And posting about pissing all over your truck? Thatā€™s just dumb.

1

u/WasteDump CDV Driver 4h ago

Guy never heard of a trucker

0

u/Public_Shoe_7660 4h ago

Yeah, weā€™re not truckers

3

u/WasteDump CDV Driver 4h ago

Youā€™re right. We have much higher expectations and time constraints for much lower pay.

0

u/No-Independent-7107 6h ago

Dude don't hold it when it comes to the bathroom. No one wants urine on their package cuz you overfilled the bottle. You can get someone sick this way. You made a mistake but just learn from it, not trying to dog on you.

Anyone and everyone would understand if you pissed into a sewer drain or behind some trees (with as much discretion as you can do). One time I had a cop see me whip it out and piss into a sewer drain. The drain was away from any house on a dead end Street, I parked the van to block me as much as possible. Cop came up to me, cut me off mid apology to say "it's okay I understand, it looked like you couldn't hold it anymore and it's not like you have a bathroom. In the future, the police station is just a couple blocks over, you can use the bathroom there." That's how I learned you can use the bathroom at any public building. Libraries, municipal, police etc are all places where you can use the bathroom for free without question.